July 14, 2026

How to Negotiate Salary Without Losing the Job Offer

Show Notes
Transcript

Discover expert salary negotiation strategies with John Gates, founder of Salary Coach, on Beyond Confidence. Learn how to answer tough pay questions, avoid common mistakes, use leverage, and negotiate salary, bonuses, and benefits confidently—without risking job offers or relationships. Whether switching jobs or seeking a raise, boost your earnings and negotiate from strength.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.

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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals?

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Well?

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Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real

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stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,

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shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.

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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving

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your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward

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does not have to happen at the expense of your

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personal or family life or vice versa. Learn more at

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www Don't divpork dot com and you can connect with

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div at contact edts divpark dot com. This is beyond

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confidence and now here's your host, div Park.

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Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday and so much fun to

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be here. So today's conversation is everyone's thinking about it,

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regardless whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're a professional, shall

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I go for that ask when I am changing jobs

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or if you're an entrepreneur I'm providing a lot of value,

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can I increase my prices? And this has been an

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age old question that I have seen my clients ask

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time and time again, and that's what we are going

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to be tackling today. So stay tuned, and I want

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to think each and every one of you who have

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got a book, especially the agency, which in today's day

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in world is a very important thing because those days

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are gone when we were thinking about AI. Maybe there

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in the future, AI has stepped into a daily workflows.

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So if you are looking to future proof your career,

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or even if you're thinking, how can I keep on

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expanding in the era of AI, how can I use

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it in a way that will enhance and augment my

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career in entrepreneurship, then that the book is for you,

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and I do want to say thank you to all

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of you who reach out to us and get a box.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you, and let's get started.

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Welcome John, Thanks.

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So much, Davia. It is so great to be here

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with you today.

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Oh, excited for our conversation John. So, John, do you

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recall a moment in your youth that may have shaped

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the rest of your life? Then it was a moment

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or a person that left a positive mark on you.

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Yeah. Yeah, Actually, the thing that strikes me the most

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is probably a story when I was early in my

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career and I was moving from Portland, Oregon, all the

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way to Richmond, Virginia, which is about as far away

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from Oregon as you can be and still be in

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the United States. That was a huge move and I'd

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always lived in Oregon for my whole lifetime, was born,

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raised here, and eventually just leapt into the Fortune five hundred.

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But this was a pivotal experience because I was interviewing

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with Capital One Financial and they had the most difficult

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and challenging pay negotiation process and interview and process that

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I'd ever seen anywhere, and it was exciting for me.

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I was a young recruiter I'd been maybe five six

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years of experience, got a chance to go work for them.

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Their selection process was designed to kill nine out of

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ten applicants. That's nine out of ten people that are

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interviewing are not getting an offer there. It was just

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so difficult. I had to pass twenty four different behavioral

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interview screens, a business case interview, and three tests, three

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big long brain assessments. And so at the end of

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that process, this guy named Chip who was my recruiter

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through the process of capital Ie recruiter, and he and

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I are still friends today. This was nineteen ninety eight,

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so a long time ago. He came into the room

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and I'm like mopping the blood off of myself because

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it was is such a harrowing experience. I couldn't believe

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I'd just been through this. He pulled up this chair

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and sat down next to me, and he said, John,

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I'm going to give it to you straight here. We

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have interviewed over twenty people for this IT recruiting position

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that we have open. Right now. We're on the eve

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of y two k, which was a huge IT looming issue.

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We really need you. There are only two people that

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have passed the process and the other guy just withdrew.

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So what's it going to take to get you to

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come on board and take this offer? And so Chip

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and I had a conversation about that, and I said, well,

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how about more salary, how about a bigger bonus tier,

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you know, a higher level in the organization to start with.

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What about the relocation? Could we make that a little

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bit better because I'm selling a house and buying a

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house and moving a whole family. And the answers from

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Chip were yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I mean he

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said yes to just about everything I put out there.

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And I was so excited to be a flying home

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to share the news with my family that we were

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going to be moving to Virginia. Chip was excited, everyone

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was excited, the hiring manager was excited. But I spent

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the next like three years, and this is why it

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was so impactful. I had a good relationship with Chip.

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If I had handled that a little differently, I might

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have gotten a lot more. That was a first time,

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even in my own recruiting career, that I felt this

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huge level of leverage and I didn't know what to

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do with that, and I wasn't prepared for it. So

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I just asked for things and I got everything. And

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I spent the next three and a half years working

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at Capital One actually negotiating pay packages for them. Wondering

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how much money I had left on the table a

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long time ago, and that just seed, that seed of

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thought just germinated in my mind for a long long time.

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I started tracking how much money my candidates were leaving

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on the table and reporting that to my bosses as

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a win for me. I look at how much I

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saved the company and negotiation savings over the course of

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the year. Usually it was ten or twelve times my

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annual pay. So there was a lot of money being

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left on the table and that was a huge pivotal

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moment for me and ultimately led to the founding of

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Salary Coach, which is the business I run today.

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So when you talk about and I've seen a lot

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of my clients be so hesitant, so many executives be

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hasden like what if they had drawn you off? What

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if they're an A.

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And there.

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What happens is for executives is they struggle with it.

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And in your vast experience, what have you seen are

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some of the fallacies that prevent executives in sharing the

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value that they bring for the compensation they deserve.

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Sure, I think the biggest thing is fear of loss,

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followed by a healthy dose of imposter syndrome that haunts

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us all. Even the most confident people have a little

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bit of that, like what if I'm not worth that?

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And it holds you back. You don't know how other

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people are going to value you. You might know how

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you value yourself, but you realize if you're an executive,

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you have some life experience and you've been through this,

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and you realize that what you think of yourself is

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very important. But what other people, especially people with the

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power to hold things back from you, what they think

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is also really important. And since you can't read their mind,

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it's a high stakes game. So I think it's fear

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of loss more than anything. But here's something that people

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believe that isn't really true in my experience. Now, keep

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in mind that I've been the head of global recruiting

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for multiple Fortune five hundred companies now and I was

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exclusively responsible for executive recruitment, pay negotiation, onboarding and all that.

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During all of that time, the senior most roles in

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the company. I was negotiating as the tip of the

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spear for the company. Most people think that the offer

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is just going to be yanked away. I've seen that

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happen before, and it does happen, but only in a

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couple of situations. And once you understand that, and you

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understand that pay negotiation does not have to be a

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high stakes game of chicken like most people think it is.

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It doesn't have to be confrontational, it doesn't have to

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be aggravating. In fact, it should be a very collaborative

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conversation that people. Sometimes people change their whole personality when

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it comes time to negotiate, and that's usually the thing,

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you know, when I've been the negotiator where I've had

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to call the candidate and say, you know, we've had

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a change of mind. Here, we're going in a different direction. Thanks,

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but no thanks, what happens Vivia, if I can take

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a little rabbit trail here for a minute, please, People

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have it in their mind that they have to be

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aggressive to negotiate, or that they have to stand that.

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We are told constantly stand up for yourself, know what

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you are worth, and insist upon that. And pay negotiation

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is a different kind of negotiation even if you're doing

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multimillion dollar deals with other people's money, when it comes

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to your own money, people don't know how to do

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that because they haven't done it much in their life.

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And an executive might have eight or nine times to

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do that in their entire career. So almost everyone is

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a beginner and facing off against somebody like me. But

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if people believe that they need to be aggressive or

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overly assertive or forceful in the negotiation, but that's not

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who they were in the interview process. This is what

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haunts people at this process. Then at this point in

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the process, so they'll go change their personality when it

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comes time to talk about money. And then the manager

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and I will get together and compare notes about this,

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and hiring manager starts to get cold feet because the

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person they thought they were hiring is not the person

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that's showing up now, and they start second guessing did

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I get to know them? Is this about to be

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a hiring mistake? What if they act this way in

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front of my client, or what if they act this

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way in front of my boss? You get the offer.

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You get the offer because they like who you are.

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They feel like you're going to do the job. And

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they feel like you'll fit and you won't be a

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high risk situation for the hiring manager. Now you're a

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different person, and now the risk of hiring you just

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goes way up. But I will tell you this, folks

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that are listening, the number of times that I've had

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to rescind an offer in the thousands and thousands of

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offers I've extended, I could probably count on one hand.

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It's a rare situation. It does not happen often. Now,

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it can happen if you get to a negotiating impasse,

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which is a company wants to pay you twenty percent

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less than you want to make at a minimum. You

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get to that spot where you realize there's just not

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a match here. That's not the same thing. So yeah,

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there's a lot of misunderstandings that lead to this issue.

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The biggest one is that huge fear that the offer

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is going to be rescinded or yanked away at the

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finish line. You just have to know how to do

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this right, and then you don't have to have that

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fear anymore.

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Absolutely, And because what happens is even while going through

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interview process and you mentioned that for you, it was

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twenty four rounds of behavioral question and behavioral interviews, and

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recently one of my executives she did get the job,

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but it was in the c suite and they had

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a psychologist as one of the panels. So it makes sense.

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You know, you want to protect your culture, you want

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to bring in the right person. So it can be

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very heroic experience just going through the interview and tell

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us how can people lose that fear? What are some

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of let's begin with what are some of the not

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to do things where that fear of the employer potential

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employer as sending their offer can happen.

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I think that not to do things are become someone

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that you're not, and that applies to to the psychologist's

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interview that you just mentioned. Usually that's paired with an assessment.

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There will be some sort of executive of assessment, maybe

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a corn fairy assessment or who knows what. There are

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hundreds of them out there, and oftentimes for these high

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stakes jobs, the c suite positions where a hiring mistake

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would be an absolute disaster that moves the stock price.

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They're looking to reduce the risk anyway they can, and

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this is one of the ways that companies often do

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that for senior jobs, so they'll have you do the assessment,

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and then they'll have a psychologist either observe or spend

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an hour or longer with you, digging into how you

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answered these questions. So being yourself, I think is very

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important for several reasons. I know that most people want

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to get the job and they think, Wow, I've just

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got to ace this interview. I have to I have

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to perform. Don't try to be somebody or not during

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the interview. That's foreign ground. You're not as good at

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that as you are at being yourself. Plus, do you

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want them to hire somebody they think you are? Do

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they want? Do you want them to hire you? It's

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way lower risk and more enjoyable to get the job

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because they want you instead of the person you're pretending

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to be. So that's really really important to be authentically

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you during the process, especially when you're taking an assessment.

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If your personality doesn't match up with this job, it

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means you're going to have to be someone you're not

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all day long, and that's really hard to do. It's exhausting.

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So that's my advice, don't do that.

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Very powerful advice because a lot of people forget that

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there are little things that give you away. You may

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think that you're putting on that mask, but it could

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be that tone of voice, it could just be the

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pacing off words. It could be a body language, it

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could be your feet. There's so many different things. It's

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the words that you use. So staying authentic in that

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really makes sense. And you have coined salary framework for negotiation.

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Can you walk us through that?

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Yeah? So I built something called the salary Coach method.

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It lines up with my company and my negotiating philosophy,

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which is it's different from regular negotiation. I think you

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could read lots of books on negotiation, you could pick

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up some tips and techniques, but the salary Coach method

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talks you through how to negotiate pay from end to end.

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And most people think that the negotiation starts when you

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have an offer on the table, But I think that's

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a mistake to think that the pay discussions begin in

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the very first call. So gibe, if you applied for

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a role or or a search firm contacts you, somebody's

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going to call you and one of the very first

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questions out of their mouth is what is your pay

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expectation or what's your you know, what is your salary requirement?

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Or how much money do you need to make? Or

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how much money are you making? And these are all there,

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they're all qualification in screening questions, and so I teach

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people how to get through that without limiting their negotiating

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power and keeping that power on their side of the

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table instead of giving it all away immediately to the screener.

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There's specific ways you should be answering these questions early on,

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and then I teach people how to build their value

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during the interview process, so that as people are formulating

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the offer before it's even extended to you, they're imagining

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all of the expensive problems you're going to solve, and

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if you're expensive or you might be expensive, they're starting

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to justify the cost. And speaking as an insider, there's

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an important thing that happens before you ever get an offer,

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and that's an offer approval process. In almost every company,

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there's going to be people who didn't meet you involved

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in deciding how much they're going to offer you. It's

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the boss's boss, it's the board of directors, it's who

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knows who right. There are other people. There's the compensation team.

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There's a lot of folks that get a lot of

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cooks in the kitchen here, and so if the offer

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is just a little bit outlandish, that hiring manager is

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going to have to justify that and say, I want

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to hire Divya and I want to pay her this

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much because she can do a B and C and

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that's really impactful for our business and everybody else who

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didn't meet Who's going to push back and say, yeah,

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but we have these four other people who are making

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less money and adjacent functions. What about them? And there's

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a back and forth that happens internally. So yeah, it's

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important to get that right and to build into that process. Yeah,

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and then there's negotiating the offer itself without risk. So

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losing the risk or limiting the risk is a huge

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part of the salary coach method.

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And that sounds really powerful. So let's say, for someone

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who's listening right now, what are some of the tips

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at each stage that they could apply today.

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Great, we'll give you some meat on the bone here, folks,

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so hopefully this will be fun to listen to. A

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big general tip is when somebody calls you for your

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early in the process and people ask you that how

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much money do you need to make? What your pay expectation.

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Big tip is to use a range at that step.

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Do not answer with a no. Don't say I need

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a salary of at least five hundred thousand, or I

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need a one point two million dollar package, or I

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need a two hundred and fifty thousand dollars package. Most people,

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when I say most, it's ninety five percent plus, answer

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that question with a number, and that's a mistake. So

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you answer with a range and that allows you to

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move up in your range as you move through the process.

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You're not stuck with a number if you give a number.

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If you said I need at least five hundred thousand,

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someone like me will put I can get Divya for

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five hundred thousand on your resume somewhere, And that's almost

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always what the offer looks like at the end if

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they want to select you. Sometimes it's even lower, but

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they almost never will go above that unless they have

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to negotiate a little bit. But it's difficult to come

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off a number once you give them one. Another big

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piece of advice here is do not accept the offer

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immediately when it comes everyone's worn out and exhausted by

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the job search and the interview process, just like I

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was a capital one. When the offer comes, it's incredibly relieving,

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and there's this psychological feeling that you need to.

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You.

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It's so attractive to just dismiss all this uncertainty in

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your life, and now you have the opportunity. Just if

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I just say yes right now, I can start the

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celebration and I don't have to endure this uncertainty one

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moment longer. And people like me are very good at

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giving you that off ramp in a way that feels

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emotionally good. We don't want negotiation. We want to head

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that up off and create a certain outcome for ourselves,

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and that means getting you too yes immediately is the

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ideal outcome for me. If I'm on the other side

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of the table, you do not have to say yes immediately,

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and that's a huge mistake most people make. One of

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my clients almost said yes immediately. He called me and said,

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I've been through this two month process, I just got

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an offer. I think it's good enough. I think I'm

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just going to say yes. And I said to him,

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hold up for a second, send me the written offer.

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Let's take a look at it together. We'll build a

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strategy together that's very low risk, and I'll show you

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how this is done. And he did that, and we

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ended up enriching his package by six hundred and thirteen

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thousand dollars. It was a combination of equity and pay

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increase and increase bonus target and a six figure signing

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bonus that you didn't think about, and a bunch of

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other things like that.

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And that is so powerful taking that pause, taking that moment,

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and sitting on it. So a couple of other questions

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come to my mind. As to so many times. What

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happens is that a lot of companies, especially in the

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past couple of years, what they've been doing is they

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are doing away with middle management and also with some

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of the executives. And also the number of reports that

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will be reporting into from VP level to even higher

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is increasing. A lot of flattening is happening. So a

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lot of turbulence because of AI and the urgency to

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bring in AI and get on the bandwagon is going on.

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So amongst all of this, there is uncertainty. And let's

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say if there's an executive who has been laid off,

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and of course their stress hormones are the highest. A load,

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of course, might be one of the tip that they

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would note that they could reduce that risk no salary

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negotion and not just accepting the first offer they get.

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Okay, So my advice to if I had a client

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who was in this situation, and I have many, I'd

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say over half of my clients are in between. The

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other half are looking strategically. But the half that are

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in between have been affected by a merger, some sort

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of downsizing or adjustment in the company, and now they

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find themselves out and they're for those folks. And if

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you're listening and you're in that category, it's a very

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How to Negotiate Salary Without Losing the Job Offer

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