How to Stop Burning Out When You’re Good at Your Job

0:00 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio. This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W. Park. Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional, and financial goals? Well? Coming up on ZVO parks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

0:52 Moving your career business forward does not have to happen at the expense of your personal or family life or vice versa. Learn more at www Don't divpork dot com and you can connect with div ants contact dants givpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host TV Park. Good morning listeners. Can believe we are almost twenty days into the new year, and I know as the year gets started, whether an entrepreneur, you are a professional, you are thinking about the performance, you are thinking about your goals. So the key is.

1:36 You are good at your job, you're doing excellent and while doing that, while you're doing everything right, and then you still might be feeling exhausted, stuck, or mentally overloaded. So we don't want that. So today we are going to be talking about how can we stop that bone out, how can we keep you charged and reenergized for the of the year. So welcome trim t. Thank you so much for having me, Divia, grateful to be here. Absolutely, it's so fantastic to have you so share with us. Do you recall a moment or a person that left a positive mark on you when you were a childer in youth?

2:22 Oh? Yes, I'll never forget. You know, it's amazing how there's just these key core memories that you have and it was in fifth grade, it was a math teacher, and I really never felt that confident in math. And I remember there was a little bit of a math quiz that was going to be that day, specifically, she was handing out a prize for whoever did well on the quiz, and I happened to just beyond that day did well on the quiz, and she looked me in the eyes, gave me the prize and said, you were the top score in the class. Keep it up. You've got such a strong brain. And you know that statement as you know a young adult. It was so remarkable because I still remember that moment. I remember thinking, I have a strong brain, like no one ever said that to me. And yeah, here I am fifty four years old.

3:05 I'm thinking back to that day and how powerful our words are when we say them, and especially with intense and with sincere focus to another individual. That is so powerful. And we underestimate the power of teachers in our students' lives. And I have so many moments that I still recall that they're just such poignant, poignant memories and leave such a beautiful mark on you. So as you grew did you know that you wanted to go into medicine? Don't know. I actually I appreciated the confidence boosting that I had the strong brain, and that gave me this impetus to actually work a little harder because she saw something in me I didn't see in myself. Right, And as I got into medical middle school and then high school, I ended up befriending somebody who would now to this day be one of my most inspiring friends. Because she loved learning, she loved She would always be the one that in the front of the class would say, can I choose a spot, you know, in one of these three seats so I could look at the you know, instructor and ask questions. And I always think, gosh, she was so hard working and so interested in learning. Let me kind of work with her and study with her.

4:27 And so eventually we both went off for different directions, and she ended up doing our PhD in neurosciences and I started actually in the business school at the university, and I still craved science, and we had kind of gone different directions. I didn't realize I ended up going into neurology that she was getting her PhD in neurosciences. So obviously she had an impact on me. Yet medicine wasn't the first pursuit of mine. It was actually, you know, kind of almost a last choice for me, which is interesting because yeah, you know, they say like there's no such thing as failure as a feedback, well, I kind of didn't necessarily fail business school, yet I didn't really like it. It didn't align with me, and I thought I was going to love it, and I didn't, And I said, you know what, I really loved it. I loved learning about science. And so eventually I transitioned over from business school to biology and graduated in that field and then went to medical school. So it was kind of a path that was, you know, not a straight path.

5:21 And who says life is a straight path, right? It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. And the beauty of life is that if you're open and curious and come at it with awe wonder, you can be surprised. What can you learn from it? You know, what you can experience. So think about it if you hadn't taken that chance. And if you're like, oh, I've already spent my time in business school and I'm not going to eat you know, I've wasted these years because I have so many of my clients whoill come and say that I don't want to take this action because I don't waste that time. And as you mentioned, it's not a failure, it's an experience.

6:02 It's it's a learning and life doesn't come with instruction manual. Yeah, myself as well, you know, I don't know as well. Sometimes those experiences allow us to get deeper into our truth of who we are, which I think is very powerful. M hm. So when you went into medical school, did you ever think that, Oh, I wish I hadn't gone to the business school. I definitely had some challenges because actually the reason I wrote my second book, The Stress RX, was because of my experience in my first year of medical school. My dad's a physician retired now. I grew up with physicians, you know, and I was very comfortable with the medical profession and the fact that that seemed achievable for me simply because I had a lot of role models that were in that profession.

6:55 Yeah. Interesting enough, because knock on wood, I'd never really had any medical challenges. I never went to see the physician unless it was a school form or something that was a routine exam to do, and I don't think I really understood what it was like to be a physician or to be a patient. So I went into it because I like science. And this is, you know, thirty years ago. I don't think, you know, look at my kids now, and I think about your kids now and everyone else that's listening. These younger adults have so many unique opportunities that I think are available to them. And I don't know if we knew at that time that we had so many opportunities. I almost feel like, especially as an Indian woman, you know, engineering, business, medicine, there weren't that many paths that I thought I could take.

7:39 So I just said, Okay, I don't like business school, let me go to medical school. I went to medical school. First year of medical school, I started struggling with sleep issues, very very very severe, very severe, to a point where I was going to quit. And that's where I thought. I'd put so much effort with the MCAT exams, with the applications, with just the incredible academia to get and test tests that I had to succeed and then pass and do well in the classes to get into medical school. I thought, my goodness, if I turn away from this Now, I had so many friends that wanted to go to medical school that didn't get in. How could I turn away from it? It was struggling with sleep and I think that was my book wake up was, Okay, you're having this condition, you're struggling with symptoms. Maybe there's something in this path you need to learn. And that's when I saw the therapist and the therapist asked me if I was stressed, and I said no. And the reason I wrote the second book is I realized we really don't know a lot about stress, and we don't know enough about how stress impacts our body. And only now are we starting to dig into this more with understanding mental health and stress in a way that we never have before.

8:45 So you talk about the different stress personality types, tell us a little bit more about it. Yeah, So this to me was my big ah huh. You know, when I was a first year medical student and my dad's a physician. As I mentioned, he did my exam, he examined me, got my labs and he said, Trufty, you're fine, even though you know you're having sleep issues. Your exam is fine. Your labs are all coming out to be fine. There's no blood sugar is sshoes, no thyroid issues. There's nothing wrong with you, and for anyone listening, and you know, if you've experienced this yourself, when you're struggling with something, you actually want to find something you're looking for some reason, I didn't want to be told that I was fine. I actually wanted to be told there was this wrong with me. And yet it wasn't a concrete medical finding or diagnosis because I was in that in between world of not physical yet there was an emotional stress component that couldn't be picked up on a lab exam or by examining the physical body. So the stress personality has really come out of me discovering myself and realizing that. In Eastern argiapadic medicine, which is five thousand years old, Iyor means life Inva that means wisdom.

10:00 It's the wisdom of your knowing your life and your longevity by knowing who you are and of the arivetic wisdom. There's these five elements air, space, fire, earth, and water that make up who we are. And my nature was being pushed out of alignment and my energy body, which I know is kind of little woo, my energetic system was out of alignment and my stress was showing. We call it the windy personality. I was moving and going and doing too much, thus having promt sleeping and falling asleep. And once I understood that was what was wrong with me, I then was able to course correct, change my diet, change my lifestyle, habits, changed so many things about me, and within about two months I was sleeping again without medications.

10:44 So you're talking about that. When we talk about different stressed personalities, those are based off the aerobatic, the five different elements, and then one of the elements is out of balance and then it manifests or expresses itself in physical symptoms. Yeah. So is Mander standing correct? Correct? Yeah? And I think that's something that if we can start to link a symptom as a suggestion to go in and to understand which of those five elements is speaking. The body's always communicating with us. And yet what's beautiful and yet not really utilized, is that we have this five thousand year old science that actually tells you. It's like the recipe book of trying to figure out what is that or the playbook or the manual I should say, of what does that symptom actually mean, what's the root of that imbalance coming from? And the challenge of Western medicine is that we wait for the physical body or the labs to go out of alignment, and then we diagnose and then we medicate, oftentimes when there's actually a long window of time where the system is out of alignment, and if we can capture that. Here, I am fifty four years old and thankfully sleeping well, I'm on no medications, and thankfully I discovered this in the early twenties because now whenever my system goes a little bit out of alignment, I know what to do.

12:04 So for our audience, how can they get started if you can share some basics? Sure? So stepone, I do think it's helpful to know what is your stressed personality. I often start with what is your imbalance? So then we can bring you back into balance. And so you know, have this quiz on my website and the quiz is basically a quick little quiz that just helps you figure out which stress state are you windy, fire or earthy. The five elements airspace, fire, earth, and water. The air and space element comes together to create an energy known as the vata vata vata energy. The fire and water come together to the pitta personality or energy, and the earth and water come together to create the kafa kapha kafa personality or energy. At baseline, if I'm in alignment with my fire energy, I'm sharp and focused, direct and clear. My digestive system is strong. I have a good appetite. I digest foods well, I eliminate toxins well. Beautiful.

13:08 If my wind energy lots of energy, is in alignment, I'm creative. I'm inspirational. I'm coming up with great ideas. I'm a thinker. I'm the one you want in the room to come up with a unique tagline for a marketing ad. You know. I'm artistic, I am musical. I'm somebody that loves to jump into different things, and I'll say yes to a lot of things to help you out. That's the wind that's in alignment. And then in terms of digestion, the wind oftentimes doesn't really get a strong fire the ugony at all times, like the fire is always the pittatype is always has a strong fire at lunchtime, the wind may kind of fluctuate up and down with their fire. The cough of the earthy type, a little more introspective kind of the quieter deep thinker, the one that's going to have really interesting thoughts when they do speak, because there's a lot of thinking cough ought. Earth energy allows you to get really introspective. So that person may not talk a lot as much as the vata, yet that individual has some really important things to say when they do speak because they've been thinking through processing, receiving, their digestive system is a little bit more stable and calm.

14:17 They're not on high fire, so they've got to be a little bit more mindful of how much they eat, not over consuming, yet they dent to digest well. So with this whole the three energy states, first thing is to start thinking. Number one, am I in alignment or out of alignment? And if I'm out of alignment, the quiz tells you how far out of alignment, so that when that's in harmony, that's creative and thinking. If you go too much movement, you skip those meals because you don't feel hungry, you start to drink a lot of cold drinks. You could start to get racy and anxious and constipated and bloated. The fire if it gets too fire and heat up and driven and intense, and maybe demands too much from the meetings and it's over intense during the meetings and wanting to share their thoughts and only their thoughts are the right energy or the right answer.

15:01 Then that person can actually get hot headed and heat it in angry and fiery and nausea and reflux and migraines. The earth person if they kind of withdraw too much, they can get sluggish and depressed and kind of what we call the cougha cough, you know, congested. So it's actually fascinating. But step one is to know what is your person I look like now, and then you go backwards. A lot of people want to figure out what the baseline perfect state is, and I say, it's almost like going to the eye doctor getting new pair of glasses. Figure out what the prescription is, like, what is your imbalance, what's your imbalanced you know kind of prescription, and then bring it back and bring yourself into clarity. And that the best I think for most people, that makes sense. So what I'm hearing is that explore, you know where things may be out of alignment, and then bring it into balance with.

15:49 Few different things that you have talked about whether it is. Food and that and the discipline of habit, so you also talk about patterns that most employers miss out as far as the stress pattern is concerned, tell us about that. Yeah, so you know the patterns that are fastening. And oftentimes I'm going to say one thing. We because we live in a world where performance is key. Being present, being at your best, putting on that smile, you know, pushing yourself through things, being productive or perceived as productive is really important. As you know, working individual, ofttimes we tend to suppress symptoms. So as I'm mentioning these three imbalances, keep in mind that very many times when I mid individuals, they tend to suppress their emotions. They suppress. What I'm getting at is fear or worry or anxiety tends to get suppressed. Anger gets to get suppressed and pushed into the system the physical body and manifested. As for example of migraine, I do a lot of migraine work. Anger turned inwards right can actually create on immune disease. And this is if you look at the work of Gobormate, You'll see a lot of work on this and you start to see the cough of earthy energy, the anhadonic state.

17:08 You know, it's very hard that we often have to be put in an environment where we have to hold back from what are we're really feeling, you know, So oftentimes I'm going to say part of the challenge is not being able to see an imbalance because a lot of people don't express their imbalances openly. So that's step one. I'm going to encourage everyone here to start to just number one, become aware if you're holding things, if you're holding anxiety, fear, anger, depression, to start to let yourself become vulnerable and open, not to everybody at the office and to everyone in your workplace, to the one trusted friend. There was a study that was speaking to a law firm that looked at if you have one trusted friend in your office, your likelihood of leaving that workplace, you know, is reduced by seventy percent. You know. So having that trusted person, having that person you can just vent to and share with and say, gosh, this is so difficult to go through, allows you to become more vulnerable and open with your energetic, emotional body. So part of the perspective shift is to know that we are holding back when you start to express yourself. What often if you're one of the leaders or managers, you don't see is you know, because the employer or the person is working with you is not sharing. Sometimes we need to lean in and we need to ask, how are you feeling about that? Hey, you know, you lost your pet. And I've had this happen actually really recently, when I, you know, was in a coaching group and one of my coaching clients lost her dog, and she just seemed kind of quiet on the calls, you know, and she was always really chatty, and she was quiet. And I finally said,

18:40 and she was in a group and a safe group that she had known for a while, and I said, hey, you know so and so you seem very quiet. Are you doing okay after losing your pet? She burst into tears in front of everybody. And it was so touching and helpful because the call was going to go in a different direction. We were going to talk about it different first topic on that coaching call. The entire conversation turned into processing emotions after loss, and it was very helpful because she could share and as trusted safe environment with this group. And I think that is something that we as leaders need to do. We need to recognize that someone may not be obviously showing anxiety, fear, anger.

19:23 If they are, please lean in. But if they're not, lean in again if you think you need to, and we should be more perceptive. And I think that's part of what working on us does. That's why the Eastern medicine approach is first, work on you, right. I think the Roomly quote is, you know, once I was clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I'm whyse I change myself. So first step is to work on you and then start to work on others. And I think if we can all do that, we can be more effective in terms of our workplace, our teams and helping others clear what they're going through and then they become stronger employees and individuals and coworkers and partners you know to work with.

20:06 Absolutely that, yeah, and that's such a good story, like looking for patterns if people are not uncomfortable and creating that culture, creating that safe space so people can open up. And it doesn't have. To be like airing your dirty laundry like you know, so many times people will say, oh, you've got to be authentic. Authentic doesn't mean every single thing that you need you're going through to put it out there. Right. At the same token, if there are times when you are experiencing distress, it's important to bring it up and work through it. So right, and as you have talked about right, like you've talked about the performance that today's modern culture does reward the cognitive effort.

20:55 So how can. Professions leaders, or for that matter, anyone, how can they recognize their instinctive system that Okay, something is off and what can they do about it? Wow? Great question, you know, And it's shifting the climate in terms of the work from home, but not having the human contact. It was a lot easier in the days we'd go into the office and see each other. Right, it was a lot easier when we could look at someone and talk to them and pick up on things.

21:35 And now, you know, when you think about this idea of presenteeism versus absenteeism, and individuals are working from home and maybe not fully there, even though their computer is on, they're logged in, their inboxes open, their slack channel is open, but they're not really often there. And so we looked at and I was thinking actually even of some migraine individuals that in the middle of a migraine yet couldn't take a day off because they were working on some project that needed to get completed. And they would say to me that I tried to focus. I mean I tried.

22:16 I tried to concentrate during the meetings. I tried to contribute, yet my head was just throbbing, severe pain and severe nausea. I couldn't even I couldn't even barely sit. I was dizzy. So you try to imagine, and so from the perspective of the employer or the individual running the meeting, back to being present. Number one, checking in with yourself first, pausing, reflecting on your team, not doing all the talking, letting everyone contribute. If someone is not contributing, lean in and ask them, are you okay everything I write with you right now? If you're noticing that when they do contribute, they're talking very fast, or they seem to be in a state where their system is not in alignment. And this takes perception. This isn't something you know. It takes getting to know a person right, getting to know what their baseline is, to know when they're out of alignment.

23:21 So talking really fast, interestingly enough, is one of the vasa imbalances. You know, if I'm using my hands a lot and talking like this and going no da, I'm kind of anxious because I'm not able to maintain my energetic system in a calm and balanced state. So I start talking faster and moving faster. That's part of my wind energy imbalance. So my mom is interesting. She used to say to me, trip D, you talk so fast. I have no idea how any of your patients are going to understand you. And this is when I was in medical school. She was the first person to pick up on my vata imbalance, my wind imbalance. That's a classic wind I would talk so fast, right, And I just said, Mom, I have so much in my brain to get out. I have so much to say. She said, your patients won't understand you. And she was giving me that early diagnosis. You know, my dad, the doctor said you have nothing wrong with you. My mom said, no, there's something wrong with you. And so I didn't know what the nomenclature was at that time, but I was starting to learn about the wind of balance. And this is actually before medical schools, when I was applying to medical school. She said that right, And then when I got to medical school, that's why I've read the books on Arriveda, and that's how I really discovered are Youveda?

24:36 Actually I didn't tell you. This pit stop I made between the therapist and learning about Veda was actually the psychiatrist office. And my dad took me to his best friend, a psychiatrist, and in ten minutes, the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and gave me prozac. And I said, no, thank you, I'm not doing this. And I didn't believe the diagnosis. I didn't believe in the prescription that I just was for me. If anyone there out there is taking a prescription or has a diagnosis, please this is just my personal story. For me, it didn't make sense. I ripped up the prescription and then I decided to go to the bookstores because that's all we had thirty years ago. We didn't have social media, and you know, we had very little with the Internet going on, and not a lot of resources. Right, So since the bookstore went to self help instruction and I found books on Easter medicine, and because my mom would say things like you talk so fast and all that when the book started talking about write language was written about movement energy, wind energy imbalance. The vats of windy state is when you start talking faster, moving faster, you skip meals, you don't feel hungry because you're moving all the time. That's a retilian brain response. You know, as a neurologist, I think about the brain, and I think about the prefrontal cortex.

25:48 Is that highest level of ourselves that when you're operating from prefrontal you're in that really perspective of all sensory systems are on. You're hearing, you're feeling, You're able to perceive touch and smell and sounds really well because the prefilg of cortex is on in a very balanced manner. When the revertilian brain turns on, the senses churn up. But what they're looking for is danger. And so that windy excitable state, it's almost like that freeze state. Your body gets tight, your neck gets tight, you start talking faster and moving faster. And so for me, that was that state I was in, and thankfully my mom kind of picked that up. And then I read the books and said, okay, let's work on my wind energy state.

26:37 And so I haven't. Kind of I went out of the tangent was your original question. But that's kind of how I kind of used AREUVA that to helped figure myself out and hopefully the listeners are understanding this. A lot of it is based on understanding are you in flight, fight or freeze? And if you're in flight state, that's the withdrawn kafa. If you're in fight, that's the fiery pitsha. If you're in free state, that's the windy kind of vata state. And we often go into state. So as an employer, is your individual going into state? You know they're being really quiet, are they talking really fast? Are they really angry and irritable on the calls? Are they sending you slack messages that are kind of off putting or others in the team emails that are kind of sharp and somewhat you know aggressive. That's how you pick.

27:23 Up Yeah, and so coming you mentioned that, So how did you integrate. These things? Like, you know, you talk about integrative medicine into your neurology practice. So it was almost as if I couldn't unsee what I had seen. You know, once you delve into this information, once you I basically healed myself. To be frank with you, I knew this knowledge was there. I hadn't gotten certified in are Evettic medicine. I just started becoming a voracious reader and listener to everything I could, lectures and conversations and books. My free time, I just kept reading our Evetic books. And then I got into my neurology practice and I was working in the headache clinic. It was a tertiary third line headache clinic, meaning patients had already failed their primary doctor, they'd failed their traditional neurologist, and they were saying us as specialist, and we were this is you know, quite a long time ago, twenty thirty years ago. It was a fee for service clinic. It's when concierge medicine. Now it's a more concierge style. Very few doctors were doing this. It was very rare to do a fee for service clinic. And I'm working on this clinic. A little intimidating to come out of neurology training to work at a fee for service clinic. I mean that patients were like, I'm paying out of pocket, you better help me, right, And what's happening in that practice was patients were failing Male clinic. They're failing all these top clinics. Stanford coming to us saying, what can you do for us that those doctors hadn't done, and I'm paying you in cash. So we started doing things

28:54 that were novel, you know, botox, bachulatin, toxin injections, which were completely you know at that point, yeah, yeah, but they got up to improved in twenty ten. And this is back in two thousand. We were injecting botox, this peptide called CGRP, which is actually pro inflammatory peptide meaning the gut, but we were blocking that peptide. We were doing different novel treatments. Yet the one thing is a lot of patients were being prescribed narcotics because this is in two thousand, this is when Purdue Pharma O content was being recommended for pain, for all sorts of pain. The pain meetings and if you've seen you know, Dope Sick with Michael Keaton, one of the best I think when it comes to looking at this whole thing from riven perspectives, from the physician perspective, the Seculer family, looking at the physicians, looking at the reps, drug reps, and looking at the patient perspective. It was a very complicated time in terms of how to manage pain. These patients were asking for more and more pain medications. I got nervous because I knew about Ariveda now said I can't keep giving these medications in high doses, even though the doctors are saying there's no upper limit, because that's what we were being told. You know your limit. In fact, doctor, you might be under treating pain if you don't give enough these medications. So be careful. Your patient could get you in trouble with the board if you don't give them enough pain medication. That was a messaging when we're hearing there's a Compassionate Care Act. It was a very very challenging time. Okay, So I said, I don't know.

30:17 I'm going to trust my gut, just like I trusted my gut with that psychiatrist that gave me the prozac. I can't give these patients these narcotics. So I'm going to learn are you Veda? So you know my husband who was really kind of done with me studying because I had just finished my board exams and just had a new baby, and I said to him, I'm going to go train in Ariveda. He said, are you kidding me? Now? You have no time? What are you doing? And I said, I just I have to because I can't give these patients these narcotics. So how did I integrate it. I went back and got certified in Aruvedic medicine and I started to bring the knowledge bit by bit into the practice. I knew that giving narcotic medications wasn't going to be good for these patients long term. You know, we think with these even copy the seven habits of highly effective. The second one is begin with the end in mind. I knew that giving a twenty three year old oxycontent and giving them three tablets a day to take care of their chronic daily headaches, was it going to be good for them when they turned twenty four to twenty five, twenty six, and thirty forty. Who knows? You know? I said this can't be good for somebody. So I said, I have to find a route for these individuals and chronic pain.

31:24 And I found this amazing way to bring in our Veda. And then eventually I left that clinic opened my own practice, and I did not prescribe any narcotics in my clinical practice and I felt really proud of that. I had some patients that came from other clinics that were taking a little talelong three, a little of this all that. Eventually I was able to get them off those medications, and I proved to myself and the patients there's another way. Yet it was kind of a journey. It was a journey, no real manual on how to do that. I just kind of followed a path, trusted my gut, and came back and said they felt better, So, you know. And why not? So talk about the three brain systems. Tell us about that and how our audience can use it to improve their lives.

32:11 Yeah. So Step one is getting to know your stressed personality. I'm I windy, fiery, earthy. Step two, once you've kind of gotten that, Okay, I'm running really fire, I'm real fire type individual. Where in my system am I carrying most of that energy? Okay? And the three brain model. I looked back during pandemic when I'd closed my clinical practice, closed the brick and mortar operation, and said, I'm going to try to just do this virtually via zoom and coaching and that are done coaching or work before, and so let's see if we can kind of package this. Let's look at the patients that performed the best and the coaching clients that performed the best over the years they were using this three brain model. So let's go back to the fire. I'm really fired up? Where am I holding the most fire? Is it in my first brain, which the central nervous system I call the first brain?

32:56 Is how we think, how we process the world, and how we process our external environments. Do we process things in a way that triggers us to believe that there is danger and I turn into more that fiery personality. Do I look at things in a way where I've been inherited a pattern, from a pattern to think in an aggressive almost that reptilian angry brain response. Is that how I'm programmed to react, And there's no disrespect. It's not that we've chosen this program. This is often an unconscious program that we've picked up before age ten, because our brain waves before age ten are in this theta delta brainwave pattern. Like sponges. We pick up patterns for our mom our dad, our caretakers, our teachers, are you know, maybe the people you know that you're spending a lot of time within church. Who knows, But you pick up patterns your friends, and if you spend a lot of time with individuals and you're around individuals that give you a program, you may have a program that more in that alignments that you tend to go to more reactive, angry state. And there's nothing wrong. You haven't chosen that.

34:07 It's just who you are, just owning that. So number one is first brain, how do we think, how do we perceive, and how do we see the world. It can be the same external event. I get really pissed off and angry about it. Someone else gets anxious, another gets depressed, another stays neutral. Most external events are actually pretty neutral when it comes to how they how they really relate to us. There's a lot of things happening in the world, don't get me wrong, a lot of things every moment, trying the newser's things happening. When it comes to affecting us, think about your own being. If it's not affecting you directly, do you go into state and stay there? That's your first brain thinking. Second is how you feel. That's the enteric nervous system. That's the two hundred and six hundred million uns are within your gut that are sensing feelings. In fact, we feel first before we think. So when you walk into a room, you know, you step near somebody and you feel certain way about them. This is happening at like microseconds, so fast you will feel and then you'll create a thought about that person. And we're doing this with the amygdala that are in the brain. They're actually carrying kind of the the storage centers of emotions from years past, and they're often going to carry kind of some emotions that maybe that person remind you of someone you know, or maybe there's something about their body or their language that kind of makes you feel a certain way. There's a pattern recognition there, so we feel. So second brain is how you feel, and then the third brain is how you digest your microbio. And so what I realized in my patients and my coaching clients is that some individuals

35:39 had more of a gut impellance that need to be work on worked on because they were eating, for example, back to fire, they're eating fiery foods, a lot of spices, a lot of heating foods. They were skipping their meals. They were skipping lunch, which is the most important meal for the fire type, and those patterns need to be changed. Some were blocking their emotions. They were holding really some deep, deep emotions of guilt or shame, and they're really angry maybe with things that happened in their past or they did that they think they did that. They're not letting go of and not forgiving themselves over. Some people were holding thought patterns that weren't aligning with them. I can't do that. I have to be that way. I must be that way. That's a very classic fire type, that perfectionistic mindset, right, I can't do anything wrong, you know.

36:25 And so part of is figuring out which of those three brains is most effective and then to start to balance out those three. And that's what I have a three brain quiz, and that's for the more advanced coaching clients where I look into three brains and say, okay, based on what you know about your fire type, which of these do you want to work on? Because you can't work on all three at the same time. It's a little bit tough to three if that makes sense. If that makes sense, yeah, absolutely, so. Love to think about They want to, like apond and put it into practice. So tell us more about your books, Where can people contact you? So the books came from having this knowledge and wanting to share it because I was so grateful to have books to read when I was having insomnia, right, and so I'm so grateful to have books since I thought, let me have these books that have resources available so not everyone has to go through all that I've been through with my training and my experiencing clinical practice for twenty thirty years. So first book I wrote was The Mysterious Mind. And The Mysterious Mind was written actually in twenty fifteen. It became an Amazon bestseller. And but I'm glad I about it with this book is it was a great guide for individuals. Now it's a guide for anyone, a little bit more geared towards those that have headaches and migraines, though I think a lot of people can benefit from that book, and it takes you through the journey of ari you veda understanding the vata pitta kafadosha understanding food intolerances. This is dated back to two thousand and five, two thousand and six when my daughter had a dairy intolerance and of gluten intolerance, and twenty years ago, individuals didn't believe that we had dairy issues because there

37:56 was the milk mustache commercials. And it's interesting how the pendulum is speaking now about swinging to like having whole milk, and there's a whole competition around that. So the book one is talking about gut brand discussing a drenal fatigue. I remember Arianna Huffington wrote a book called Thrive and she talked about her episodes of adrenal fatigue. And I was studying adrenal fatigue in my practice and finding ninety percent of my patients had really weak cortisol levels. And then it discusses ari Uveda and how to get into vatsipitta kafa. So that's book one, The Mysterious Mind, available on Amazon, and then the second book twenty twenty five. It took me ten years to write the second book. It's The Stress RX and Neurologist Prescription to Happiness and Health using Ariveda and Rivedic prescription, and I help individuals really get deeper into the stressed personalities. I get deeper into trauma, what holds us, what keeps us stuck. I go from what's in book one with the adrenal fatigue, and then I figured out in book two, how do we get adrenalid fatigued? And you know, people talk about hormones so much nowadays, astrotrien progester one. Let me take a little progester on, Let me take a little you know, biodonical hormone. I'm not against it to prescribe. Way back in my Integrated Center of two thousand and six, I used to prescribe hormones bygentical hormones before it was a thing, and give ivy nutrient therapy before. Now all these centers are IV nitriant therapies around where I live now, in my home. What I'll tell you, though, is you have to look at the big picture. You want to know what's driving your hormones out of alignment, what's pushing your stress, because just taking hormones, unfortunately, isn't enough. Just taking progesterone

39:26 isn't enough because progesterone turns into cortisol. So the reason I wrote the Stress RX is to finish the story that I start with the first book, to say, hey, you know, don't just take hormones and think that's the answer. Look at why is your system staying stuck in one of these three stress states, and then how do we bring ourselves back into alignment. And this isn't quick fix. I'm not here to give quick fix. I'm here to give you the deeper story behind it. And again I'm not against taking those things. I just want people to have a bigger picture. So then in five and ten years begin with the end in mind. You're not saying I did that without looking at my entire system and what my system the message my system was giving me with those hot flashes, with the weight gain, with the migraines.

40:15 There's always a story. Learn your story and then you'll have the answers and then you won't rely on the medical system. Yeah, yeah, definitely very powerful. And where can they connect with you? So right now I am running some coaching groups. I don't offer them throughout the year very often though, for anyone interested, they go to my website trip dcocanimd dot com and or then go to the stress RX and that leads them to my website. If that's easier to remember, and there is an opportunity to apply for consultation, my team might let you know that hey we're not open right now, we maybe open later, you know, and just even taking the stress quiz allow you to learn about yourself.

41:01 You'll get a video afterwards, and you can be a part of my tribe, and I'll tell you when I'm doing workshops in your area or doing any media or podcast right and just learning and reading the books. It's a great way to start a lot of people will learn so much by doing this. Honestly, they may not even need to see me. And it's so beautiful to be able to share this work and help others and be able to serve in a way that I feel like I can speak the Western language using these ancient tools, and love to hear from anybody that's struggling, and happy to share as much as I can with you via all these different resources that we have available.

41:42 Well, thank you for joining us and sharing your wisdom the past, and thank you wonderful audience for being part of our family and sharing your feedback because without that you wouldn't know what you want and how we can support you, so continue doing so. And thank you on for the technical support b well on ticket till lengs time. Thanks thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence with your host Dvpark. We hope you have learned more about how to start living the life you want. Each week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who have experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.

42:22 During Beyond Confidence, Vpark shares what happened to her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly with people across the globe. She not only coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life they want. If you are ready to live the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www dot dvpark dot com and you can connect with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you're joining us next week.