Aug. 25, 2026

Is Your Boss Failing at Leadership?

Show Notes
Transcript

Leadership isn’t about titles or authority—it’s about earning trust and inspiring people to follow. In this powerful conversation, Divya Parekh and Detria Austin Everson explore servant leadership, rebuilding employee trust, and the courage to put people first. Discover how responsibility, authenticity, and service create stronger leaders and why earning the right to lead matters more than having the title.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host, Divya Parikh. Do

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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you

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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals? Well, coming up on Divya Parikh's Beyond Confidence,

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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

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who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and

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are living the life they want. You will learn how

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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

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Moving your career or business forward does not have to

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happen at the expense of your personal or family life,

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or vice versa. Learn more at www.diviapark.com and you can

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connect with Divya at contact at divyapark.com. This is Beyond Confidence,

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and now here's your host, Divya Park.

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Good morning, listeners. So wonderful to be here with you.

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Of course, I love to be with you. Tuesday morning.

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And what I wanted to share today was just a

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couple of weeks back, I spoke to a group of

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executives and one of them asked, how much do I

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need to know? How much do I need to learn

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before I can implement artificial intelligence? And here's what I

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can tell you is that You don't need to know

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everything before you implement AI. And if you're caught in

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that conundrum, if you're experiencing that AI slop, if you're

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experiencing problems that's arising because of AI, if you're not

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sure which direction to take, then the AI agency is

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for you because that's going to tell you and guide

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you through ever-changing, rapidly, that shifts like every 30 seconds,

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so it seems like, It will guide you through how

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to social proof, how to future proof your career and

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your business. So thank you for those who have got

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our books because part of our proceeds go to kiwa.org.

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So go get that, the AI agency and open up

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new opportunities. Well, let's get going and bring in our guest.

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Welcome, Deidre. Good morning, Divya. How are you?

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Well, good to have you.

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Looking forward to our conversation. So we.

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Get started usually with a question. Do you recall a

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moment or a person in your life that left an

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indelible positivity in your life that you can still remember today?

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You know, I can.

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It's quite easy for me because that question defaults immediately

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to my mother. She is no longer with us, but

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a person that had a profession of being a social worker.

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And while we think that dictates the type of person

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that you are, I think we all learn through experience

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in life, just because you have a title doesn't mean

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you operate in the manner in which you would normally

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think that that.

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Title should operate.

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But my mother was absolutely born to do what she

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did in her profession was to serve other people and

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to take care of them. And watching her not only

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do that because of her need to take care of

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vulnerable children across our state of Arkansas, which is where

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I grew up, and watch her do what she needed

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to do to make sure children were in safer environments

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and prevent them from experiencing harm and danger. I also

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saw her be the same person with her friends and family.

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And she was always that person who was looking for

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how she could make someone's day just a little bit

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brighter or make their load just a little bit lighter.

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So I would say immediately that has left an indelible

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mark on my life, but also shaped the person that

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I have become.

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So beautiful.

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How could you make somebody's life lighter and brighter? That

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is so powerful. And to have a role model like that,

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it's wonderful to have that. So as a young girl,

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did you have any aspirations that, you know, I want

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to become this when I grow up?

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I did. I had a traditional thought process that I was.

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Going to become a medical physician. And it is all

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that drove me when I was growing up. I did

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great in school. I was good in science and math

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and all the things that you thought were the prerequisites

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for it.

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And then I attended Spelman College.

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And I have an undergraduate degree in biology with a

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pre-med sequence. So I went through all the grueling process

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to go that route. But also college.

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Is a wonderful place where you identify yourself.

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Yourself and what your real proclivities are and the things

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that you enjoy. I had grown up in my small

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town in Pine Bluff, Arkansas with my parents who were

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both my mother's social worker, my father, who's an Army veteran,

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a veteran from the Vietnam War, who also owned his

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own restaurant and worked as a civilian worker for the

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federal government. And in watching my dad be this entrepreneur,

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it kind of sparked an interest in me of really

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managing and growing businesses My mother's role as a social

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worker shaped me and wanted to be in service to

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people and give back in some way. And for some reason,

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I thought that this job as a physician was going

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to be the perfect fit for me. And then I

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hit college and I really started identifying the type.

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Of person I was.

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Yes, I would have been probably great at being a physician,

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but I identified that I love systems. I love business

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and entrepreneur more than I liked being at the bedside.

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And so I took a deviation from going to medical

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school and going to school.

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Healthcare management.

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And I got a master's in health services administration because

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I realized I wanted to run the hospital.

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I didn't necessarily want to be at the bedside.

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And so in identifying that, you know, it helped me

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to really start shaping that my goal and interest was

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more so to create environments where other people succeed. And

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so as a hospital administrator, I realized I was able

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to create an environment where the physicians, the nurses, you know,

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the technicians, all of the people who really desired to

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be at the bedside could be their best. And that

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is where I found my perfect place of service.

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And so, yes, I grew up thinking I wanted to

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be a doctor.

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But ultimately.

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Well, the key is you found your purpose. You found

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where you could excel and help others excel because creating

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those environments is so important for people to step into

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their highest potential they can achieve. So what would you say,

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because so many people are not familiar with the healthcare

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systems and all that. And I've had a few clients

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from healthcare area, and especially being an administrator can be

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so tough with the budgets and all that. So many

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times what happens is, oh, we don't have the budget

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for this, so we cannot give the patients for this.

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And sometimes you may not be able to create that

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space for your physicians and for your nurses. So tell

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us about a few problems that you experienced and how

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did you overcome those? Sure.

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My healthcare career gave me a lot of amazing opportunities

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to learn how to be in service. And I will

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tell you, you're right, Divya, there are constant competing priorities.

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We were a teaching medical college. And so we had

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not only the.

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Goal of practicing and providing healthcare services to the community,

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we had the task and the responsibility, a wonderful responsibility

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of teaching the next generation of healthcare executives and healthcare professionals.

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And so in that, we had a lot of things

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that come to mind when I think about ways in

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which I had a challenge to overcome. I'll tell you,

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I had the challenge of setting up a new department

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one time. And the department was one that I really

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was excited for. I finished my graduate degree. I was

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in my first, my healthcare management fellowship at the Medical

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College of Georgia.

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And that's in Augusta, Georgia.

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I was trying to create what was called a patient

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transport team. I had gone out to do some research

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in California and other places to learn how these transport

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teams were helpful to the care staff. Most of the time,

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back in the old days, and I'm not sure how

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every healthcare facility is located, it's established or set up

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right now.

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But I will tell you, our.

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Patients moved about because we had either whoever was available

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to move them down to x-ray to have an x-ray done.

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If it was the nurse or a tech or an

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LPN or someone, we decided to design a dedicated team

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that was responsible for all of the patient transport, all

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over the hospital. And in doing so, it was a

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pretty daunting task for us to get the hospital designed

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by its own, set up the technology, train the staff,

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recruit the team. But we were successful in it because

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it was one of those things that we saw that

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gave time back to our nurses and our other technical

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staff to stay in their places versus moving patients around

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the hospital, like, you know, even taxi cabs. And so

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that department, it was a bit of a challenge getting

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it in place. But I will tell you, the reward

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was so great to see the appreciation from the staff

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of having that support team now there to support them

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as they gave care. And also the patients for making

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sure they got to and from their ancillary services in

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a timely manner.

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And so those health care days gave me a.

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Lot of opportunity to see where we could be in

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service to our staff and make things better also for

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our patients for sure.

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Yeah, no, that is such a powerful thing. And what

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stood out for me was that you looked at long-term

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gain versus at short-term cost. And so, so many organizations,

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what happens is that leaders are focused on short-term cost, that, oh,

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this is going to cost us too much. There's reporting

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and all that. Of course, you know, you have to

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answer to your boss. of directors and your leadership team

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but even with that pushing through it so there are

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times what happens is that leaders fail yes and employees

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stop trusting so how can leaders turn that around.

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You know um i will tell you um When you

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think about turning it around, I'll say it brings to

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mind an example of something I experienced in my career.

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It was not in my health care days.

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It was actually in my housing advocacy days.

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I often think sometimes leaders who command authority.

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Usually rely on the structure around them, their title, the

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organizational chart, and the consequences of someone not doing what

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they told them to do.

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And that works up until a point.

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But I think when we talk about loyalty and trust,

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they're earned through how you really show up. when it

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is not comfortable for you as a leader. And to

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answer your question, probably I think about when this thought

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process changed for me, if we were in the middle

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of the mortgage crisis, the early 2008 timeframe, 2010-ish. And

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I was serving as chief operating officer of the Neighborhood

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Assistance Corporation of America. We were the largest housing counseling

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agency in the United States. And I led that organization

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and I had about 500 staff members under my span

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of control. And we created what we call the Save

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the Dream events. And this is where we would take

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our organization and take hundreds of staff around the United

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States and we would set up in major convention centers

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in different places. And we would bring together all of

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the banks and lenders and struggling homeowners who were facing foreclosure.

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It was a really daunting task and these events were huge.

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We were met with no less than 25,000 people per

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city throughout the number of years that we traveled trying

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to help provide some service to families who were really

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facing dire situation. And one of the events I decided

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to stay after, our local offices usually had about three

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to five people in each one of them. And so

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when we were bringing several hundred staff to the city,

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we could process and triage and work through a lot

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of files at one time. But when that staff had

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to go back home, you know, to their normal location

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of work, it would leave a large book of business

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behind for the local team. I ended up deciding I

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was going to stay behind, just kind of help them see,

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you know, the aftermath, the fallout and what happened. I

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got there thinking I was going to just stay with

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that team for two or three days. And it ended

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up being two to three weeks because every morning we

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would come in to families who had been sleeping in

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their cars overnight and waiting to get into the office

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to give us a chance to help them.

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Stop their foreclosure.

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And it was a tremendous amount of work. And I

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thought about the fact that I just stayed. And by

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the time we finished and we had designed a triage system,

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we had put some remote office support help in place

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so our local teams did not feel the weight of

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those families who were lining up every morning for help.

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It made my team look differently at me as a leader.

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It taught me a lot because I had a chance

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to get in the trenches. and learn on the fly

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how we were going to address something that we had

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not planned for. We planned to fly into the city

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with several hundred staff, set up an event for five days,

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and we planned to go home.

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That was our plan, Divya.

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What happened was we realized we needed to address the need,

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and my staying behind garnered more loyalty and support from

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my staff, not because I was there giving out orders,

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but because I actually rolled up my sleeves and helped

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them and worked right alongside them to figure out solutions,

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and more importantly, made sure the people who were there

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for their help saw that I was there to make

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sure we put the things in place necessary to help

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those families and help my staff not feel completely overwhelmed.

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And I think in.

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That moment, I learned that you really earn the right

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to lead people when you demonstrated that you're invested in

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their well-being.

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Before you ask them for something, before you need something from.

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Them, when you lead that way, I think the loyalty

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is not manufactured I think it becomes organic and it

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can grow.

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Absolutely. So powerful that you, so to speak, you know,

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got dirty and there is so much power in that

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because when you're in the day-to-day run of the mill

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of the things, then your employees feel like The leader

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is ready to not just go ahead and like spit

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out orders, but willing to work side by side.

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Yes.

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Head to head, shoulder to shoulder. And of course, I'm

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sure you can guess my next question is that what

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was the outcome for those families?

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Oh, tremendous.

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You know, each mortgage modification that we did at NACA,

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there was no like silver, you know, bullet for just

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how to nail it. Every one of those families had

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a different circumstances, whether their incomes had changed, they had

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lost a major breadwinner. In the family, there had been

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some type of separation of the couple. There are various

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reasons why people were facing foreclosure. And a lot of

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times it was job loss and other things. We allow

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people to help think creatively about ways in which they

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could get afloat. But more importantly, our organization negotiated loan

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modifications based on terms that were beneficial for the family.

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And we had designed a system where we would look

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at what they were currently earning, We would identify what

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we called a waterfall, which is a series of questions

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and routes and if this, then this type of scenarios

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that would lend us to getting them to one of

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our best negotiated terms. One of the best things we

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were able to do is bring people's interest rate down

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to 2%, cap the arrears, which is all the back

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payments and put it on the back end of the

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loan and give these people life again, give them a

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chance to breathe again and give them a chance to

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reset their mortgage payment so they and their families and

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their children could stay safe in their homes and have

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a chance to get back on their feet, whether they

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needed time to find a new job or needed time

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to do other things or find ways to maybe get

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a person who rented out a room. There were so

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many different ways in which we saw the resilience of

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American families during those. It was probably about nine or

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10 years that we traveled doing these events, and.

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They were amazing.

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And yes, the outcomes for many people was tremendously positive.

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But Divya, we live in the real world and there

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are times when there was just not a solution. And

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at the worst efforts, no matter what happened, we may

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have still had to have that family find a plan

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B for having to separate from the home that they

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were there trying to save. And even in that, there's

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a humane way to handle it. There are steps and

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procedures that assist families. And so no matter which we

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saved a huge amount of the homes for people who

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came in, on those difficult circumstances where we could not,

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we made sure there was palatable information given and helpful

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things for those families to move into their next phase.

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Because I don't think that 2008 left anybody unpatched.

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At least people....

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Who were working back then and all that, whether it

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was their savings or stock market or housing, most are

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00:17:28.829 --> 00:17:35.450
getting laid off. And that was such a humane way

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to help people and triage that. So because banking, lenders, homeowners,

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bringing all of them together to finding that solution.

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That's just me. Thank you. Very rewarding work, I will

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say that.

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So as we talk about, you know, we have talked

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about building that trust with employees, building the trust with

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people who you're in service for. Now, given that you

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00:18:06.990 --> 00:18:10.630
accomplished a lot reaching higher ranks and so many times

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what happens is that women feel that they cannot rise

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to the site leadership team or the executive positions. There's

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always that nagging doubt.

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Imposter syndrome.

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So what were some of the lessons that you learned

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along the way that allowed you to rise to the top?

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Well, I had the joy of going through fellowship programs

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where I had a chance to watch and pay attention

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to leaders in a learning capacity. My graduate fellowship allowed

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me to be placed in an organization where I saw

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high performing executives. And what I will tell you is

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that one of the things that helped me was to

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be observant to watch the leaders that I thought were

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getting the type of results and responses from their teams

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that I had hoped to get when I became in

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one of those senior executive roles. And it was helpful

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for me to sit and just pay attention to the

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type of behaviors, attributes, skill set, the delivery of those individuals.

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And I tried my best to learn and emulate the

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people that I thought had the type of leadership style

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that I would be proud to.

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Say I had one day.

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And in doing so, it gave me a chance to

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really formulate and shape how I wanted to show up.

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But I also stayed true to myself. You know, my

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mother and father raised me to be a person who gives.

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They set a great example for me in the ways

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in which they led their own businesses, their in their careers.

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And I also make sure that I was I felt

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good about what I was doing in my roles. I

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made a point not to make decisions for my staff

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or the people that I wasn't proud to make, that

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I would not want another leader making for me. And

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I tell people, if you feel like you don't belong,

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just stay true to yourself.

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Yourself.

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Allow your inner voice and that small guiding voice to

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lead you in the decisions you make as a leader.

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And then pay attention.

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And if you are trying to figure it out, try

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to learn from those around you that you see doing

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it right. And don't be afraid to take a chance

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every once in a while. Every once in a while,

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I raise my hand for a project that would stretch

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me so I could grow. It's not always the best

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to stay in a safe mode. Sometimes you need to

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feel challenged because you really won't know what you're made

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of until you put yourself in those situations. So I

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tell people, you know, try your best to find ways

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to shake off those feelings of imposter syndrome. If you

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are in a room, you got there for a reason

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and there's a purpose for you to be in that room.

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Try to find your real purpose there.

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And if you focus on serving others, I find that

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you'll usually be led the right way.

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Yeah, no, excuse me. Definitely, that is the way to roll.

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Because what happens is like two things that are happening

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over here. One is when you observe, you can see

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Is Your Boss Failing at Leadership?

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