Nov. 7, 2025

From Burnout to Breakthrough: Coaching the Leaders Who Keep the World Running

In this timely episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh sits down with Vahbiz Shroff, co-founder of The Confident Leaders Program™, for an honest conversation about what it takes to thrive for professionals who are brilliant, overwhelmed, and quietly burning out.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host DV park. Do

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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you

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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvaparks Beyond Confidence,

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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

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who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and

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are living the life they want. You will learn how

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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen

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at the expense of your personal or family life or

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vice versa. Learn more at www. Don't Divpork dot com

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and you can connect with divants Contact Dants divpark dot com.

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This is beyond confidence and now here's your host, div Park.

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Good morning everyone, It's Tuesday morning, and of course I'm

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excited to be here with you. And today what we

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are going to be doing is I've invited my co

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founder and we are going to be talking about that

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age old gremlins. Yes, those trolls, leprachauns, whatever you want

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to call. You know, those who come in, whether they're

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sitting inside our heads or from outside, who take away

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that confidence. And our goal is to showcase you as

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an entrepreneur, as a leader, as a coach, how to

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bring that back in. Because here's what I can say

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that you may have the clarity, you may have everything.

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Without confidence, we don't take action and we are here

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to make you successful. So welcome bobb Is.

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Thank you so much, Devia for having me. It's an honor.

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I'm excited to have this conversation with you.

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Oh so excited to have this conversation. Absolutely, and folks,

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for those of you who don't know weobb Is, I

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want to introduce bobishraf Is, my dear friend, my co

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founder where we created the Confident Leaders program, because what

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I believe is that regardless of wherever you are in

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your life doesn't matter, regardless of the title, you can

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be a leader. So wobb is usually we kind of

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start out with a little personal note. So can you

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share if you have a moment or a person from

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your life that left a positive mark on you.

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Yeah, that's that's a great question. I mean, there have

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been so many people, honestly, Devia who have influenced me

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throughout my life. I would say my mom was somebody

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who was left a lasting impact because she was truly

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a leader in the real sense, the way she led

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her life, the way she took care of our family,

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and you know, yeah, so I think she truly embodied,

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you know, a wholesome, holistic human being and leader. So

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I would say, for sure, my mom.

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Oh that's fantastic. And mom's played such a positive role

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in their kids' lives. So you said that she left

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a positive mark. So as a mom, she was a

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leader because she guided you, she helped you. And let

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me talk about so many corporate professionals are struggling with

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their confidence. So what happens is when they're individual contributors,

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they're doing great, they show great value, great contribution, and

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now what happens is that because of the value they've provided,

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whether it is monetary or helping other peers or bringing

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in some product, regardless, whatever they are, and now they

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are promoted to becoming a manager and now they have

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to lead others. So what is the reason in your

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thought that works out that you know and they're like, ah,

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will I be able to do this and not able

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to do this?

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Mh Yeah, that's another great question. And first of all,

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I think at least like in the past, now things

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are shifting very quick. So I'm so grateful that we

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do have a lot of leadership training and awareness incorporated

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in education systems and in organizational professional development growth.

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Right.

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However, most of the brilliant minds, like as professionals, I

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think even as you're going through your training, there is

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really no formal training or education around specifically leadership, right.

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So very often I feel like what happens is people

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gain their technical knowledge, which is important, and then they

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get become experts in that field and that work, and

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then suddenly when they're given that leadership title, they feel like, oh,

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you know, I haven't had the training in this or

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I don't have the experience. And that's what I find

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is the number one reason. You know, my clients come

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to me and say, oh, I've never done this before.

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Now now suddenly I'm managing so many people. So I

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feel like, you know that the whole concept, the paradigm

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needs to shift where we feel like leadership is something

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outside of us. And yes, it's a skill that can

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be grown and developed and it's not something that has

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always spoken of or be trained in.

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Very true and so many times what happens is that

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you mentioned that your clients come to you and as

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coaches also, I go back and remember my early days.

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You know, when I had just started coaching, I was

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so glued to the competencies because there are different types

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of coaches. You know, people have different coaching organizations from

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where they get the certifications and usually on top of that,

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since the International Coach Federation, so if you've taken the

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organizational training and now you get certification from ICE, if

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you know there is it's almost like there are standards

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that we have to follow. So in my initial days,

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I was like, oh am, I meeting all the competencies

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in my coaching session and that would take away my

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confidence because I was like, oh, I didn't hit this,

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I didn't hit this. And then as I started growing,

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I started realizing that at the core of it, our

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clients are at the front end center where we are

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there to make that difference, to create an impact. So

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in your experience, as you do a lot of metro

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coaching and support other coaches as well, have you seen

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that in the coach's journeys as well?

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Yeah? Absolutely, thank you for bringing up that point. Yeah,

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because you know, I think even as coaches, we are leaders, right,

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we are representing ourselves as leaders, and it's important for

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as coaches also for us to have that confidence. So yes,

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I have been mentoring coaches for several years and that

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is one of the challenges that some new coaches will face,

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right because they feel like, these are my guidelines and

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it takes a while for us to you know, just

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lean into ourselves and our authentic selves as a coach

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and feel confident that just you know, our own presence

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alone can create that impact for the client. So absolutely, yeah,

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and knowledge, sorry please continue, Yeah, No, what I was

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saying is that knowledge is power, So yes, absolutely, the

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knowledge and the guidelines that I cf has set for

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us are so valuable and knowledge does continue to grow

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confidence as well, and there is that fine balance where

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you start to the key is, I would say always

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knowing yourself, knowing your authentic.

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Self, absolutely know thyself. That's such a powerful statement. What

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is I definitely resonate with that, because when you know yourself,

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then you're at ease. And that's where so many times,

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you know, there's so many different definitions of confidence. And

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for me my experience and as I've seen with my

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clients and as I've also when I used to be

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a faculty member for our coaching school, and I would

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see the coaches in as people grow, the more they

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started trusting themselves, the more they started building their confidence.

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In your life journey, what has built your confidence? Members?

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Yeah, definitely, like you literally said it, For me, my

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biggest confidence leap came when I too the time to

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get to know myself. And for me, that happened of

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course you know deep down, Like you know, we didn't

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talk much about my background or you know, my career path,

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and I'll just give a quick glimpse for the listeners

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or views of the show, is that I was in

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like a clinical biomedical background, right, and then I moved

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into consulting, business and coaching. And even when I was

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in my previous career, I did have that thing at

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the back of my mind, always asking who am I?

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Is there more for me here? You know, to offer

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and give what's more in me? And that led me

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to the coaching to seek a coach and then pursue

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coaching as a profession. And my true confidence leap happened

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when I went through the coach training program, you know,

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at the Authentic Leaders Advisors. I think earlier it was

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it had a different name, but they really made us

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kind of like go deeper and deeper into ourselves to

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understand who are we? And to your point, the more

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I started to ask myself that question and really get

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to know myself, I was just at ease, like you

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very beautifully said, and my confidence just kept growing from

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big to big.

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Absolutely, And that's such a powerful journey. And as you

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mentioned earlier about knowing yourself, and it's also allowing and

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creating that space for self compassion because the way we

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learn it is the way I say life is that

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it's an inch wide and a mile deep, that the

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learning never stops. Its learning keeps on growing, and every

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time the more I learn, I find out that I

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don't know what I don't know. There is so much

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more to learn and unpack in life, and so these

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reflections as coaches or like and there's so many leaders

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who are now leaders and now they're helping their reports

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or employees grow into leaders. So sometimes there's so much

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technical work, and what happens is that yes they have

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really good technically, they have technical excellence, but they're emotionally exhausted.

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So what are some of the emotional toll of leadership?

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What are the emotional tolls or like if I can

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get clarity, or what are the signs, like.

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What are the signs you know, what can cause that

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emotional tolls? Just kind of looking at it from a

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three to sixty view.

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Yeah, absolutely, so, Yeah, I think like the number one

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reason again they've like, you know, it keeps coming back

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to the number one reason. I feel that it takes

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that emotional toll. And I can say for myself having

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gone through that phase where I was in my previous

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career and again it was a great career, great place

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where I work, and because I felt like I wasn't

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being truly myself in that role and in that place

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like there was that disconnect, and I think that disconnect

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starts to somewhere create a very low level of that

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emotional turbulence, and you know, it starts to take a

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toll where you start, you know, people start to feel

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fatigue or things that they really loved and enjoyed at

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one point starts to become so stressful.

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Right.

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So I feel like that is the number one reason.

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And then the other reason I feel like with leaders

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where I see them feeling that emotional burden almost is

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that they are expected to very often perform, like you said,

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you know, very skilled technically technically, you know, powerful leaders.

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They are expected to perform at high levels technically, and

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then they are also expected to perform as team leaders.

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And that's where sometimes again that exhaustion sets in where

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they're like, I don't know how I can do both, yeah, right,

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and not having that support to support our resources for

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them to be able to do that.

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Definitely, you definitely are on point, and let's unpack it further.

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So what happens is here they are, they're technically very sound,

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and now they're able to deliver their writing on that

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high and then all of a sudden, now they're put

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into the leadership position and they're expected to lead. So

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they're not only expectations from their boss, from their stakeholders,

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cross functional peers, from the reports, and especially if you're

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somebody who has become from a peer to a leader,

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there is there are more eyes on it like Okay,

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why was this person promoted? Why not me? So regardless

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wherever you are coming from that angle, what happens is

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that the demand is more and the capacity that you

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are able to supply is less because, as you mentioned earlier,

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the training and it's not just getting any training because

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there's so many schools and there's so many programs where

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you can train. But if you don't hit that authenticity

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and help it help people develop from inside out, what's

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going to happen is that your inner critique is going

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to challenge you. And it's many times. You know what

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happens is like people are my clients, and I'm sure

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you've heard from your clients come and say that, oh,

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I don't think I belong in this role. So if

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you're the boss or if you're a coach, how do

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you even begin to coach them through that?

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Yeah? Such a great question, and they are. You're right,

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I would say almost every single leader I coach, you know,

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whether they're emerging leaders or I've coached leaders who've been

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technical experts in their field for ten fifteen years and

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then they've been asked to step into a higher leadership role,

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and they all face the same challenge. And you know

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it is it comes down to that imposter syndrome, like

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do I belong here? You know? And my number one

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question to them is what causes you to ask that question? Yeah?

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Where does that question come from? And I believe like

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just sitting with that question, they start their real start

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to turn mm hmmm, like really, who who has told

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them that they don't belong here?

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Right?

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And yeah, so again, like you know, I start from

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that place of like really questioning, challenging their limiting beliefs

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or ideas that they've been carrying in their mind or head,

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so to speak. And then from there really are you know.

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I don't know how you approach them, but like I

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take the time to whether it is with tools or coaching,

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to really help them get to know themselves, get to

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know their strengths. So then they themselves start to shift

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from that question of do I belong here? Two of

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cause I belong here?

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Yeah, that's a powerful journey web is and as you

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said that sit with it. And when you sit with it,

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what you're doing is you're not pushing your feelings under

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the rug. Feelings are not to be pushed under the rug.

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It's not to be thought of as a noise. Think

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of it as a signal. What story is it telling you?

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And just like Bobb, as you mentioned earlier, why why

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is it there? What is it happening? And that's such

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a powerful question to ask because it will illustrate the

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gap that it will show the gap whether it is

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the gap in thinking, is it a limiting belief or

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is it really telling you something. So, for example, if

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it's a gap that oh I've not taken that leadership,

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I don't know how to work through the situation, then

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you're working with a coach, or then you are working

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through a program like ours. And so for example, in

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the Confident leaders program, we just don't touch the surface.

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It's not about the theory. It's about knowing yourself where

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are you coming from, creating that safe space And as

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you mentioned about tools and all that, that definitely makes

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sense and.

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Yeah, and if I ad a point Devia mentioned a

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very important point like taking the time to sit with it,

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I do see. And I would love to know from

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your experience working with executives or leaders is that very

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often they don't either have the time or they don't

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prioritize the time to sit with themselves and really ask

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them that ask themselves a question, right because they feel

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like they've put in so many they forget that they

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put in so many years to get to that level

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of technical expertise and now.

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With this leadership position, they have to somehow figure it

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all out, like you know, overnight or in their first

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ninety days or you know, their first six months or

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whatever it may be. And it's so often like you know,

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my first the first time, and I'm talking to my clients,

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I encourage them to prioritize that time for themselves because

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I don't know if this happens with you, but very often,

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like leaders who are busy also holding down their day

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to day like technical role, and also like you said,

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meeting expectations of everybody around them, if they have a

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coaching call, very often that falls off the radar very

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quickly because they've you know, they're like, Oh, it's not

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important for me to take that time to sit with

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the coach, or it's not important for me to take

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the time and go learn, get take a get a

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you know training or something. So if we could, I

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guess just you know, make this almost like a request

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for you know, employers or leaders to give time to

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their leaders as they are growing into their new leadership position,

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and then also for leaders to take the time for themselves.

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You're absolutely right, it is the shortage of time because

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as we look at the companies and especially like current

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I feed take a look at it and the economic cycles,

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they're cyclical. Sometimes we are on the high things are

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going good, you know, companies open up for the training,

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and then sometimes if there's a downturn, then everything is like,

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oh there are layoffs and we do more with less.

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So the thing is, I want to bring our leaders in,

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employers and executives, anyone who's sitting in this position to

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ask themselves that question, are you looking for a short

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term cost or a long term gain? And if you're

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thinking that, oh, I don't have the time think about it.

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It's a short term cost. Yes you see it as

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a cost, but it is investment for long term gain.

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I always like to say, you can keep on doing

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Let's say you're just kind of running in a hamster wheel.

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You'll just be running in it. Things will not change.

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And what is it costing you to not sit down

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and put that time in yourself? Because it's important that

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leaders are ready not only to invest time in themselves

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but also to implement, because that information just remains information

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unless it becomes insights, and without insights, there's no implementation.

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What do you say one hundred percent?

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And if you are, you know, you just reminded me

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actually of a perfect example of what you said. It

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happened literally yesterday, you know, So if I may share

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the exact or the story real quick, is that one

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of the leaders I'm currently coaching she used to like,

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you know, put away put She used to sometimes like

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prioritize everything else over her coaching. And in one of

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our recent conversations, I brought we talked about exactly that,

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you know, what is what are you know we losing

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out on when we don't take that time to reflect

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and you know, be with the situation or the challenge

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and be prepared to work for with it. So yesterday

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she reached out to me. You know, like she had

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a very important meeting where her direct report was almost

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on the verge of like quitting, and you know, there

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are so many other complications around it, and she decided

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to just reach out and say, hey, do you have

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fifteen minutes for a very quick coaching conversation. So she,

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you know, as a leader, rather than just going from

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meeting to meeting, things to things and then jumping into

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that conversation with her direct report, she moved aside some

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things from her calendar so that she could be on

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the call with me. And at the end of it,

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she said, you know, the ten to fifteen minutes that

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she invested in that conversation is probably going to be

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such a long term gain for her and her organization.

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And it completely changed how she approached the conversation, how

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the direct report received it, and what it did for

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the team.

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Such a powerful st story and so impactful. She took

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that little time, She recognized it, and she recognized that

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she needed help. And it's so important to know that

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you bring out such a great point because so many

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times what happens is that as leaders think like, oh,

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I'm a manager or I'm a director or I'm like,

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you know, I'm in the c suite. I didn't got

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to know everything.

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Yes, exactly. That's such an important point that you are

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because yeah, because as leaders they think that, oh just

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because just like how I'm a technical expert and everybody

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comes to me and I've got to know the answers.

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Is the same as a leader too, I've got to

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put up that you know, strong front and I've got

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to push down like you said, you know, ignore those emotions,

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you know, or anything that's bothering me, and instead it

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is that it couldn't be farther away from the truth.

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And as Brennan Brown say, I'm a fan of Brenne Brown,

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like you know, leading, leading, and it's leading with vulnerability,

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and it's okay because the more you share, what you're

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doing is you're creating that space for others to share

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that yes, we're human beings and there may be things

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we don't know, but that doesn't mean we cannot find out.

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We cannot go and do the research, we cannot pull

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in other team members or the other SMEs, which is

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subject matter exports and the story that you shared it

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just kind of reminded me of one of the coaches.

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While this is a long time back, Like you know,

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when I used to be part of the faculty coaching,

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and I saw a coach mirroring just what I was

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going through in my initial phase, where she was like, oh,

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