Dec. 9, 2025

How to Be Seen, Heard, and Respected Without Selling Out

How to Be Seen, Heard, and Respected Without Selling Out
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In this energizing episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh is joined by PR powerhouse, brand strategist, and best-selling author KJ Blattenbauer to break down what it really takes to own your story, claim your space, and get press that actually moves your mission forward.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.

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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,

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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN

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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W four WN Radio.

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.

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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals?

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Well?

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Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real

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stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,

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shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.

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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving

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your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward

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does not have to happen at the expense of your

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personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at

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www dot Divpork dot com and you can connect with

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v at contact edts divpark dot com. This is Beyond

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Confidence and now here's your host, div Park.

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Good morning, listeners, It's Tuesday, and today we are going

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to be talking about something special. Think about. You may

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be a CEO of a company, you may be a

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leader in the company, an entrepreneur, a creative agency, and

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there's so much noise out there, So how do you

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show up authentically there doesn't feel sleazy or that you're

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selling yourself out.

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And that's what we'll be talking about today. So let's

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welcome our guests. Hello, Welcome Kajie.

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How are you doing.

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I'm good, Thank you so much for having me. Well,

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it's great to have you.

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So if you recall a moment or a person in

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your early life, do you recall someone or that moment

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that left a real positive mark on you.

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Yeah, I think, you know, I remember when he's really little,

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kids were playing outside. I was at grandparents, and I

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remember the boys were talking about what they wanted to

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be when they grow up. They were going to be astronauts,

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they were going to be cops, irean to be whatever,

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And I, you know, wanted to be like my older

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brother I wanted to be an astronaut. One of the

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little boys said to me, girls can't do that, they

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can't have any astronauts. And I remember I just ran

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ran home to my grandpa bawling, just crying like I

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can't be an astronaut, I can't whatever, you know, like

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it was so crushing real I couldn't be an astronaut.

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And he looked me in the face and he said,

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you can be anything that you want to be. Don't

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ever listen to those stupid boys. And I really think

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that I took that to heart, like for the rest

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of my life, no matter what anyone said to me,

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I can do whatever I want to do. You can

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do any single thing you put your mind to, no

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matter if you know someone tells you no. If you

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truly believe it's what you're meant to do, you don't

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let anything stand in your way. And I I really

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do think that talk of my grandpa changed everything for me.

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What a powerful moment, and that is the key. So

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many times what happens is we are just cruising through

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life not even recognizing the gifts that we get, and

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we get gifts every single day and cherishing them and

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carrying them forward. So as you carried that, it helped

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you build your character. It helped you build you. That

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is unique. So tell us as you grew up, which

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direction did your life take? Which where was your career.

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So I'm from a very small town in North Dakota,

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more cows than people. So growing up, you know, you

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were kind of limited. Like most people were farmers. My

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dad was a lawyer. Some people were doctors, some people

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have boutiques. It's very limited what you were going to do,

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what you were going to be. I took the attitude

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test before I went to college, and they were like,

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you'd be a great administrative assistant. And I thought, that's

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not how the story is going to and that is

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not what I want to do with my life. Went

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to law school, hated my classes, hated arguing, hated every

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part of it. And so I got an internship in

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public relations that I loved everything about it. I love

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one I love talking, I love people, I love hearing

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their stories. But really I just love people who are

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courageous in the underdog and they believe in something so

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fiercely that they go make it, or they create a

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service board, or they create a whole industry because of it,

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and I think that that is just magical, and so

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that's kind of my villain origin story.

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I guess, well, that's a beautiful story, right, Like you

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just didn't let that aptitude like okay, here's we are

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thinking where you fall under. You didn't let that define you.

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And that is so critical because yes, and I don't

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get me wrong, I use assessments all the time in

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my coaching practice, and yet I always tell people listen,

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these give you an inkling, but they do not define you.

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You know you the best. So sounds like you know,

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you came into this industry and you fell in love

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with it, So tell us more about like girls. So

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from that internship to where you are today.

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Sure, so I learned the ins and outs of everything,

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and at the time, I thought, you know what, I

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want to be in front of the camera. I want

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to be the next verbal Walters. I want to interview people.

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I want to pull their stories out from them. I

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want to be famous. I want lights, camera, action, the

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make up, the whole nine, Like, give me the Emmys,

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give me the awards, give me all of the things.

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And then I had a chance to be in front

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of the camera once and the insecurities that come out,

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the criticism, the people who have commentary about how you

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look or what you did, or the faces you made,

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all the things soul crushing, literally soul crushing, so much

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so that it put me probably fifteen I spent the

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next fifteen years behind the camera helping people, not wanting

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to get in front of it, not doing interviews like this,

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silently helping people do those things, encourage them to do

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those things, but keeping myself behind the scenes because I

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was worried about what people would think. I was worried

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about what people would think of me. I was worried

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about their criticisms. I didn't believe in myself enough. And

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I think that that's a huge mindset shift that needs

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to be changed for everyone, me then me, now founders

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moving forward. You know, visibility isn't vanity, it isn't about

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wanting to be famous. It's survival, and it's coming from

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a place of service. I think most founders, and myself included,

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we were waiting for permission to be seen. We were

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waiting for permission to be visible, and that's a completely

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losing strategy. Visibility is a leadership skill. Stepping in front

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of the camera stepping out and promoting your voice, sharing

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your gifts with the world, your skills with the world,

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your service with the world. If people can't find you,

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they can't hire you, they can't change their lives with

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your services or your products. And I think the misconception

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is that you have to compromise your values or become

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a character of yourself to get attention. But the real

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truth is that the most respected people in the industry

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are visible because they're consistent, because they're loud, not because

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they're performing, not because they're Kardashian sharing everything I think

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it's being seen. Does it require selling out, It just

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requires showing up with attention that's tied to your values.

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I love that, Okaj, because that's what I believe in

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as well. And that's not just saying that you cannot

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share it out. You know, it can be different. Everybody

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can have different thoughts and opinions. But that said, you know,

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if you look at at least ninety five percent of

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the people out of most of the people, people don't

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like getting on cameras, and you mentioned that it was

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hard because people are sitting there and that critique and

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that imposter syndrome does get in your way, and here's

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I'll share my story like I share it openly, Like

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you know, you put me in front of fifteen thousand

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or even fifty thousand people, I'm good. I can do it.

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But when I sit in that cold camera on my

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laptop without anybody there, I mean, if you're sitting there

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with me, yes, I'm all about because you know we're interacting.

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There's that human interaction.

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So I want to like kind of start.

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Out with that, is that in today's day in world,

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if you look at LinkedIn or Instagram or TikTok, it's

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all about getting on camera. Doesn't matter whether it's that

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somebody is filming you or you're filming yourself. And I

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have seen so many youngsters and the millennials and Gen

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zs like you know, come up with such innovative ways

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where they're filming themselves all over. So you brought up

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such a great point that getting on camera, I mean,

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even to this day, I can do it because it's

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important to get out of a discomfort zone. I still

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don't like it. So it's you know, there could be

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a small company or a mid size company, and like

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now the founder does need to get in front of

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the camera, and they have to sit down and show

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up who they are because you mentioned something so powerful

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that you're doing a disservice to other people.

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How can they get started? Well, I think the first

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thing is a mindset shift. I think the very first

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thing you need to know is who you are before

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you even open your mouth.

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And that can be the.

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Same for sharing on social media and not being in

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front of the camera, but especially if you're in front

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of the camera, whether you're in front of a group

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of five thousand, five hundred and fifty five or zero.

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I think most people where they break trust is that

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they perform instead of presenting who they truly are. You know,

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define your core narrative. What do you want to be

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known for? What's your lane? Why are you even stepping

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in front of a camera. I think people don't respect

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founders who shape shift one day or this another day,

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or that no one knows what you stand for. I

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think people respect founders who give them clarity, consistent nor

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star same message all the time. And I think your

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message should be recognizable even if someone strips your name

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off of it, so much so that you know when

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people say let them, we all associate it with mel

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Robbins right now. So I think it's something that line

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authority isn't built by saying more. It's built by saying

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the same things with death, with feeling, and coming from

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a place of service. And I think that you know,

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kids these days might know how to TikTok better that

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I know how to TikTok. But I know me, and

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I know I don't want it TikTok. But I also

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know that I know public relations inside outside. There is

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no situation you can throw me into that I won't

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have a solution for that I won't have guidance for.

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And I know if I step in front of the

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camera and zero people show up to my Instagram live

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or two thousand people show up to my Instagram Live,

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I'm coming there to help even just one person, and

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that's all I need to do. You know, people spend

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so much time on vanity metrics about numbers and what

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they're doing and who's going to like this and what

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they're going to think. If fifteen hundred people like my

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Instagram post, that would be awesome. I would be so

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happy happy. If fifteen hundred people were following me on

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the street, I would be scared, and I would be

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hiring security, might be calling the police, and I think

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we have to put that into perspect We have here

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to serve all of the people. It would be great

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if we could, you know, but if you want all

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the money in the world, great, go for all the

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money in the world. But at the same time, if

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you can just start a ripple effect of working with

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one person, focusing on one person, serving one person, and

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then that person tells another person, then it spreads to

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another person, that ripple effect is going to do more

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for you than if you were trying to follow all

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the trends just to get fifty eyeballs at once. You

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want the right people to be attracted to what you're doing,

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and I think part of that is you got to

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share like a human, not a headline, right Like, you

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don't need a rags to riches story or a traumatic

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ted talk. You need specific experience that shape how you think.

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You need clean opinions and frameworks that people can actually

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take and use and apply in their daily life. You

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need a point of view that's constructive and not just performative.

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Prefer porn as sakes. You know, what never works is

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manufactured vulnerability or pity marketing trend hopping. People see right

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through it, like you can't follow the trends forever. It

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shows no doubt and once the trend is over there

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like what is the point of this person? Like where's

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their substance? And I think over a polished like brand

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speak that feels inauthentic or industry jargon. Your real story

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is already interesting enough no matter what it is. You

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don't need to distort it to be worthy of camera

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time or people following you or winning awards or applying

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for that speaking gig or that grant or anything.

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Absolutely, and what you said touch my heart because we

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all get caught up so initially, like you know, when

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we going back to my camera story, as I was

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doing it, I'm like, hmm, I can do a live

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with two people, and if I want to do a live,

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I'll do it. I'm not going to have all the

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shenanigans and all that. I'm just going to show up

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as who I'm and if people like it, fine, because

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we are here. We're here to serve. As you mentioned,

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we are not here to please everyone, because if you

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kind of get into that mode, you cannot show up.

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And now I'm having these wonderful conversations, bringing great information

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for my audience, and that gives me more joy than

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just kind of showing up. So as you're talking about

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find your narrative, then it's important then whatever works for you.

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There's no right or own right right right right, And

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I think I also think it's important to know that

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you don't have to overshare right to be visible, you

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know what I mean? Like again, you don't have to

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be you don't have to have your own reality TV show.

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I'm not asking you to audition for and gravo like,

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boundaries are also a visibility strategy. I'm a huge I'm

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real good at boundaries. I love a good boundary. Right,

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So you don't have to share everything to be credible.

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Decide what's public, Decide what's private, Decide what's sacred before

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you go on television, on Instagram, on anything before you share.

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Decide what's just for you, and decide what's for everyone else.

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You can say no to platforms, you can say no

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to partnerships. You can say no to conversations that are

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going to dilute your expertise or make you feel less

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than or just don't seem to fit like what your

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overall goal is audiences respect clear boundaries. The media respects

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them even more honestly, And I think respect is a

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bright product, a byproduct of strong boundaries. It's respect is

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a byproduct of not being endlessly available. You know, if

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you had your show morning, noon, and night, your listeners

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might take it for granted. But they know that they

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can tune in. When they can tune in, and they

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can get solid information, they can hear from great experts,

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and they get to hear from you. And I think

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that that is is proof that boundaries work.

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Oh absolutely, And because if you're putting that boundaries, you're

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being authentic in that. And you said that you know

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you cannot like fake things, so the best way to

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be authentic is to be your shelf. And then again,

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I really like what you said about like you know,

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what is sacred to you that what do you want

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to share? So it's not like you cannot build brands

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just by being totally vulnerable or anything like that. I

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mean nothing wrong with that. It's again, how do you

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want to show up? How do you want to be seen?

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And a lot of times, you know, as we talk

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about brand, we talk about managing the perception. So for

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our audience. You know a lot of people come from

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tech background and engineering background, or you know they've gotten

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no clues about the pr So how would you we've

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talked about the mindset shift, what would be some of

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the practical aspects that you could share that would help

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them position themselves.

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Well, I think one of the first practical ways, especially

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in the tech world, is I think you have to

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lead with value, not validation. Right, if your goal is approval,

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you're always going to feel pressure to sell out. And

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I think you have to focus on You have to

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decide what you're going to focus on, right, So you

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need to make sure you're either teaching something to someone

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so they can learn it, You're reframing something so they

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can understand it. You're challenging something like the status quo

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or an industry or a social norm, or you're simplifying something.

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You're making their life easier. And I think your value

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becomes undeniable when your ideas help people, even in small ways.

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And I think that's the first step. Authority grows when

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people can point to your work and say, Okay, that

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helped me. That's good, that's what I need. But I

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also think a huge practical implication is consistency, because we

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are not good at this as human beings. Right, Like

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we all think, if we want to have you know,

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a new year, new us, come January first. If we

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go to the gym on January first, by January second,

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we're going to have those six pack ams. And that

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is not sadly how it works. Trust me, I've tried.

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But if you want to you know, if you want

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to get in shape, if you want to be healthy,

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you have to eat right every single day. Right, you

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have to go to the gym, you have to work out,

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you have to follow a routine, and consistency is the

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ultimate flex. It carries over in the business world too,

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especially in being visible and public relations. You don't need

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to be everywhere, but you need to show up where

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it matters repeatedly, right, Like pick your platform with intention.

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Don't you be on air? Everyone? Just pick one. You

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got to commit to a cadence that's sustainable for you,

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and then you have to stop reinvented your image every

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ninety days, like be consistent for ninety days. You can

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do it because consistency is going to read is confidence.

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You're going to get more and more consistent as you

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show up more and more confident. As you show up,

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the confidence is going to read his credibility. People are

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going to start following you, knowing what you're about. They're

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going to be like, oh, this person knows what they're

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talking about. They've been talking about it for days, right,

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and it actually makes sense, and that credibility is going

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to get your respect. So if you want to be unforgettable,

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if you want to be visible, you've got to be consistent,

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not chaotic, and not all over the place.

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That definitely makes sense. And you also talk about strategic storytelling,

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so tell us what can be the different elements and

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how it can be woven into day to day social

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media or like, you know, getting the attention of the audience.

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Well, I think I think one caveat we should touch

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on because before we even dive into that is that

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it's okay to have an opinion, Like it's okay to

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have an opinion. Being respective requires having clear stamps on

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something in your industry. And I think people trust expertise,

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they trust pattern recognition, and they trust the willingness to

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say what others are only hinting at or like saying

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the quiet part out loud. Right, Like, you don't to

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be controversial, you don't have to have a hot button issue,

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but I think you need to be clear because neutrality

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isn't going to build authority, but point of view definitely will.

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And I think if you want to do pr without

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selling out, if you want to have like a simple

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breakdown of what you need to do, you need to

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be seen. That's the first thing, right, show up consistently

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on one platform with a recognizable message for ninety days.

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I'm not saying ninety days in a row, but I'm

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saying routinely for ninety days. Set up your system, then

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be heard, share stories and insight that make your audience smarter.

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And it doesn't even have to just be things that

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you created. It can be an article that backs up

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what you just said. It can be an article that's

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contrarian to what you just said, and then you can

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prove why you think that article is wrong. You know,

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it can be fast or or stats or something else

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that backs up what you're said. So first, you're going

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to be seen consistently, and second you're going to be

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heard by sharing stories and insight that make your audience smarter.

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The third thing is be respected. Hold your boundaries, stay

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in your lane. Lead with value, not theatrics, right, Like,

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you're here provide value. You're coming from a place of service.

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You're not trying to get an oscar for best dramatic performance. Right.

390
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So be seen, be heard, be respected, because visibility done well,

391
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it's not performative. It's one hundred percent principled.

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And that definitely resonates with me because to me, at

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the end of the day, when you're looking at your

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shelf in the mirror, it's like, Okay, did you live biovaluage?

395
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Did you live bioprinciples? Then that is so critical and

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that will come through. So, for example, one of my

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clients had posted something that was you know, contrary too,

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so just kind of want to have your thoughts on that.

399
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She posted something that was her opinion and it was

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contrary to the mainstream beliefs, and a lot of people

401
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gave her like a nasty comment. So this is click

402
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and bait and this was this and all that. And

403
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as we were doing coaching, like during one of the things,

404
00:20:23.480 --> 00:20:26.160
and I told her, like, you know, what's your principle

405
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if this happened in person, Like how would you deal

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with it? And she said, like you know, I would

407
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just kind of politely say, Okay, you have your opinion,

408
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I haven't. We just just you know, we respectfully disagree

409
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and let's move on. And that's exactly what she did.

410
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So that is one of the ways of handling the

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negative because it's going to happen. What are some of

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the other ways that people because people get scared, right, Like,

413
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you know, you've put out your heart, you have your opinion,

414
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and now you're getting all these negative feedback and people

415
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are attacking you.

416
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Yeah. Well, I mean there's a hue vulnerability in being visible.

417
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It truly is whether it's you're an artist and you

418
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put your art out there, you're an author and you

419
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put your book out there, you're a coach, you put

420
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your opinion out there. Truly, anything, there's a vulnerability there.

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And we're human beings and I don't care how tough

422
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you are on the exterior, we're all soft and squishy

423
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on the inside.

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It hurts. Words hurt.

425
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People can be very savage, especially online. I think a

426
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part of it is to remember that hiding behind a keyboard.

427
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No one has more courage than a person that hides

428
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behind a keyboard. Like when you said, what would you do.

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If these people set it to your face, most of

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them wouldn't. They wouldn't have the courage too, they wouldn't

431
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act that way. But hidden behind a keyboard, it creates

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this person. I'm a firm believer. For my clients and

433
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for myself, I do not punch down when a troll

434
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comes for me and they have something to say. That

435
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means I'm on the right track. It means I've hit

436
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a nerve.

437
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Right.

438
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You either want to repel the people that aren't for

439
00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:53.480
you or you want to attract the people that are

440
00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:55.799
for you. And one of the first rules in business

441
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I learned from one of my lawyers is you're nobody

442
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until someone comes for you, whether that's a lawsuit or

443
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:04.240
with negative energy. Right, So that means you're getting somewhere.

444
00:22:04.279 --> 00:22:07.880
Your visibility is striking your nerves. So congratulations. Like if

445
00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:10.440
you have your first roll, if you have your negative comments,

446
00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:14.880
is that is like a baptism by fire for any

447
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:18.880
entrepreneur person. Right, But the first thing is does it

448
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:21.960
matter is what they're saying. Does it offend you because

449
00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:25.079
it's true or does it offend you because it's just offensive?

450
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Some people, if you look at their comment history, just

451
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:31.559
like to argue with strangers online. Don't punch down, don't

452
00:22:31.559 --> 00:22:34.200
feed the troll. That's my biggest thing. I don't respond

453
00:22:34.519 --> 00:22:38.240
unless it's something that's totally incorrect. Then I try and

454
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give them one calm, fact based neutral Well, actually you

455
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.000
misquoted that, and it's such and such, or here's the

456
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study that backs it up. You know, I try to

457
00:22:46.440 --> 00:22:49.039
be helpful so I can educate the masses, just not

458
00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:51.680
that person. If they keep coming for me, I'm just

459
00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:53.799
going to disengage, because what do I get out of

460
00:22:53.880 --> 00:22:56.200
arguing with a weirdo online? Like when you argue with

461
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:59.920
an idiot, then you have two idiots, right. Nobody wants

462
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:03.640
to wins in situation, and so I kind of just

463
00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:06.039
try and move on from it. If someone keeps harassing me,

464
00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:08.960
if they create different accounts, then I block them. And

465
00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:11.920
at a certain point, if it's truly slander or libel,

466
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:15.000
then that's what lawyers are for. And lawyers are a

467
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:17.119
wonderful to world if you're in business.

468
00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:25.200
Those are some really really good thoughts, and because as

469
00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:30.000
you mentioned, then why engage with them? Now? Another question

470
00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:32.680
that you know a lot of people may have on

471
00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:38.519
their minds is that when something like this happens, and

472
00:23:38.599 --> 00:23:42.200
as you said, that, don't do it so it makes

473
00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:46.200
them hesitant to share their opinions. What would be like,

474
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.960
you know, some of the couple of mental things or

475
00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:51.920
mindset things or encouraging things.

476
00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:55.079
You would tell them, well, my biggest thing is you've

477
00:23:55.079 --> 00:23:57.680
put your heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears, maybe all

478
00:23:57.720 --> 00:24:00.359
of your money into your business, your idea, your product

479
00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:03.319
or art, your service, whatever it may be. You've gotten

480
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:05.200
it to the finish line. It's out there in the world.

481
00:24:05.559 --> 00:24:07.839
Why would you not brag about that and share that?

482
00:24:07.880 --> 00:24:10.960
Why would you not let every person you created said product,

483
00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:15.119
service offering for know about it. You're just sharing this

484
00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:17.400
cool thing you created with other people who are going

485
00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:19.799
to think it's cool. And yeah, there might be a

486
00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:22.759
Debbie Downer who won't think it's cool. That's not your person.

487
00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:25.799
Go find where your people are. Like. They created comic

488
00:24:25.799 --> 00:24:28.400
Con for a reason, because people who like comic books

489
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:30.920
want to nerd out with other people who like comic books.

490
00:24:31.319 --> 00:24:33.319
Will I ever go to comic Con? No, I don't

491
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:35.839
get it. I respect what they're doing, I respect what

492
00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:38.160
they've built. I respect the commitment of a people who

493
00:24:38.279 --> 00:24:40.680
dress up and go for all those days, right, So

494
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:42.799
I think it's you just have to know your audience

495
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:45.519
and your lane and realize you're not ice cream, and

496
00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:47.440
there's some people who don't like ice cream. You're not

497
00:24:47.480 --> 00:24:50.039
going to please everyone. No one's going to be happy

498
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:53.039
all the time. I'm perfectly fine not being everyone's cup

499
00:24:53.079 --> 00:24:55.799
of tea. I know the people that I serve, and

500
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:57.519
I know if I don't get in front of the camera,

501
00:24:57.720 --> 00:24:59.359
I know if I don't share what I know, if

502
00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:02.720
I don't come from a place of service, those small businesses,

503
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:05.759
those founders, the people whose stories need to be told,

504
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:08.640
who need eyeballs on their products or services, They're not

505
00:25:08.680 --> 00:25:10.480
going to get the help that they need. And so

506
00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:13.799
I'm dimming my light and not sharing my gift. I'm

507
00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:17.000
hurting other people and that's just selfish, and that I

508
00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:19.359
think is the first mindset shift that needs to be made.

509
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:21.920
You have a gift, You've created something, You created it

510
00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:24.559
for a reason. You owe it to yourself and the

511
00:25:24.599 --> 00:25:28.079
people that you created what you created for, to serve them,

512
00:25:28.119 --> 00:25:30.079
to tell them all about it, because it's not about

513
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:32.079
me as a person. In kJ it's not about you

514
00:25:32.359 --> 00:25:34.319
as a person, it's not about them as a founder.

515
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:36.799
It's about who they can serve, which is why they

516
00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:39.119
did all the things that they did to get to

517
00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:41.039
this spot. And I think they have to remember that

518
00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:43.559
it's not about you. It's about helping.

519
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:52.440
Absolutely, and that definitely lands with people that you know,

520
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:56.839
don't shrink because of one person or something like that.

521
00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:00.519
And these are the moments, and these are the times

522
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:04.400
when you'll have to experience that discomfort. And it's okay

523
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:09.559
because when you experience that discomfort, see that as a

524
00:26:09.559 --> 00:26:15.000
growth opportunity and moving one step beyond and that can

525
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:17.519
become a story in itself. So coming back to the

526
00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:20.319
strategic storytelling, can you tell us, like, you know, what

527
00:26:20.359 --> 00:26:23.519
are some of the elements that usually resonate with people.

528
00:26:24.839 --> 00:26:29.039
If you have some examples, any frameworks that would be great. Yeah.

529
00:26:29.079 --> 00:26:31.519
Well, I think there is a reason why you have

530
00:26:31.599 --> 00:26:34.039
your show. There's a reason why I'm in pr there's

531
00:26:34.039 --> 00:26:36.279
a reason why Bob down the Street started a bakery.

532
00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:39.559
That origin story, no matter what it is, no matter

533
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.839
how small, no matter how insignificant we think it is,

534
00:26:43.279 --> 00:26:45.319
it's a story that's going to inspire other people. I

535
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:47.960
think you start there. You start with your origin story,

536
00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:53.119
the why behind what you created, made, or established, always, always,

537
00:26:53.160 --> 00:26:55.880
always lead with that story. Then I think there's point

538
00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:58.799
in time things like evergreen. You know, like it's the

539
00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:01.119
end of the year. People are closing out things, they're

540
00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:04.160
settling into routines, or they're dealing with family, or they

541
00:27:04.200 --> 00:27:06.400
get to celebrate family, right, all those things. If your

542
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:09.279
business touches those, make sure that you have end of

543
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:12.160
the year stories that you can share on the flip side.

544
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:14.000
In a couple of days, it'll be the beginning of

545
00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:15.680
a year and you can have beginning of the year

546
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:18.279
stories and why do people need your product, service or

547
00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:21.319
offering at the beginning of the year. Those times you know,

548
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:25.519
mother's day, Father's Day, summer, back to school, fall, start

549
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:28.799
a sports seasons. Those are all evergreen things that are

550
00:27:28.839 --> 00:27:32.319
come around time after time after time. You can be

551
00:27:32.440 --> 00:27:36.240
replaying and promoting your business, your product, your service based

552
00:27:36.279 --> 00:27:38.680
on those points in time, because truly, what the media

553
00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:42.519
wants to see is a unique story. They want to

554
00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:45.559
know why, why this is cool, why it's unique. Then

555
00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:47.880
they want to know why now why is it timely

556
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:50.920
right this second? Well, if you know you're evergreen hooks,

557
00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:55.079
you're golding right, rybe your friend or maybe something the

558
00:27:55.079 --> 00:27:57.640
government did or maybe something that happened in the news

559
00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:00.119
or Hollywood, those sorts of things. That's why now. So

560
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:03.480
it's why is this important? Why now? And then you

561
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:05.960
have to look at who your audience is. Why is

562
00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:08.640
it important for this audience? If you're local, why is

563
00:28:08.680 --> 00:28:11.119
this important for your local audience? Like I'm in Dallas,

564
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:13.799
would why is anything I'm doing right now important for

565
00:28:13.880 --> 00:28:15.480
my local audience in Dallas?

566
00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:15.920
You know?

567
00:28:16.039 --> 00:28:19.359
Why is anything important for a local audience in Philadelphia?

568
00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:22.039
Make it? Why is it important for a national audience?

569
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:24.680
And those things they tie into the evergreen theme. But

570
00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:28.880
also it's not rocket science. It's why why now? Why

571
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:31.000
does it matter to this group of people? Those are

572
00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:32.519
the simple things that you need to know when you're

573
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:33.440
pitching your stories.

574
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:37.519
M that is, those are really some good tips that

575
00:28:38.240 --> 00:28:41.839
our audience can take and implement straight away. So now

576
00:28:41.920 --> 00:28:45.160
you know, there are always questions. There's local news where

577
00:28:45.200 --> 00:28:47.480
you can get on, and then there is national news,

578
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:57.440
and there are those so called major media outlets like

579
00:28:57.480 --> 00:29:00.279
you know, Forbes, and then a whole lot like a

580
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:04.119
brand and the local So can you share like you know,

581
00:29:04.119 --> 00:29:07.200
if somebody is just kind of starting out where they

582
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:10.680
should focus and as the advance, how can they approach

583
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:12.039
those large media outlets.

584
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:14.599
Sure where they should focus is what their goal is.

585
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:17.559
That tells you everything you need to know. Right when

586
00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:19.880
I meet with every single person, the first thing I

587
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:22.200
ask them is what would be a success. What would

588
00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:24.519
be success for you a year from now? What media

589
00:29:24.519 --> 00:29:27.599
outlets signifies success for you? Nine times out of ten

590
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:30.039
they're going to tell me Oprah, And then I have

591
00:29:30.119 --> 00:29:32.200
to break their hearts and say Oprah hasn't had a

592
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:35.400
show in over a decade. So I don't know have

593
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:37.119
to tell you, guys, you're not even watching Oprah. But

594
00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:39.559
I get I hear you. Oprah is a big name.

595
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:42.839
But I think it's your goal. Whatever your overall goal

596
00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:44.759
is is going to shape the media outlets you reach

597
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:47.440
out to, whether you start with those big major broadcast

598
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:51.160
networks or whether you start locally. So I have a

599
00:29:51.160 --> 00:29:53.559
book coming out right in January, and so for me,

600
00:29:53.799 --> 00:29:56.079
I want to reach business owners all over the world

601
00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:59.799
that I know need help with storytelling and public relations expertise.

602
00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:03.359
That's podcasts. I'm going to skip my local news, I'm

603
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:05.680
going to skip the Forbes and the major outlets. I'm

604
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.720
gonna go to podcasts. I'm gonna be on every single

605
00:30:07.720 --> 00:30:11.640
podcast I can that focuses on my audience and my niche.

606
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:14.000
I'm gonna get my story out there. I'm not going

607
00:30:14.039 --> 00:30:16.759
to worry about having the big, splashing headlines. I'm not

608
00:30:16.759 --> 00:30:18.960
going to worry abouting that. I'm worrying about how many

609
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:22.559
free shows I can do to give free advice, for

610
00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:25.000
pr to get people to buy my book for a

611
00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:28.200
dollar when it comes out. So that's where I'm going.

612
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:31.640
If you're a local company or like a restaurant, obviously,

613
00:30:32.200 --> 00:30:34.559
being in Forbes it probably would be cool. It's not

614
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:36.720
going to help you fill your restaurant. Being on the

615
00:30:36.759 --> 00:30:39.359
local news going to help you fill your restaurant. Talking

616
00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:42.720
to local influencers, being featured on local blogs. That's where

617
00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:46.160
you should be spending your time. If you're a business coach,

618
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:49.960
if you're a you know, if you want to speak

619
00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:53.039
on more stages, yeah, you should focus on outlets in

620
00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:56.759
your area of expertise, right like, whether it's the tech sector,

621
00:30:57.119 --> 00:31:00.279
whether it's you know, the grease sector. But yeah, then

622
00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:02.079
you should be in for the Forbes and those like that.

623
00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:05.119
It helps build credibility, but it's baby steps for all

624
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:08.160
of us. Some people might get lucky and they might

625
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:10.039
pitch Forbes the first time and be in there. Some

626
00:31:10.079 --> 00:31:12.000
people it might take ten years, it might take more,

627
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:14.559
they might never get there. But it has to be

628
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:17.119
right for your audience. Right now, Forbes is not the

629
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:19.839
right audience for me. For my audience, I'm skipping them,

630
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:21.480
you know, and I think so many people are like,

631
00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:23.720
but you have to be in Forbes. It's a business publication.

632
00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:26.880
You don't have to be anywhere that your audience isn't.

633
00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:31.440
And that goes back to what you mentioned about what's

634
00:31:31.480 --> 00:31:35.839
your goal, Because if your goal is to reach those founders,

635
00:31:36.039 --> 00:31:41.960
reach those people who need your services, then you're showing

636
00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:43.319
up where they're already there.

637
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:43.920
Yep.

638
00:31:44.519 --> 00:31:48.759
You're leveraging platforms, you're leveraging outlets that are already serving

639
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:54.200
your clients. And that makes it so much easier and

640
00:31:54.200 --> 00:32:00.000
it well maybe not easier, but makes more sense because

641
00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:04.039
reaching your audience directly, because I'm sure even with Forbes

642
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:07.000
and any media outlets that you see hundreds and hundreds

643
00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:12.440
of there's so much noise and so as we talk about, like,

644
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:14.880
you know, there's so much noise that yes, you could

645
00:32:14.920 --> 00:32:18.839
be on fifty different platforms how do you tone that

646
00:32:18.880 --> 00:32:19.640
into a signal?

647
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:23.279
Well, I think it's messaging. It's what you want to

648
00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:25.920
be known for, right. I want to be the person

649
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:29.400
that helps small businesses and founders know how to do

650
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:31.880
public relations. I want them to step into the spotlight

651
00:32:31.960 --> 00:32:34.359
and know what visibility is. That it's not vanity, it's

652
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:37.759
leadership and its strategy and they have to have it right.

653
00:32:37.799 --> 00:32:39.880
So it's being very clear about where I want up here.

654
00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:42.759
It's being very clear about my messaging, and it's never

655
00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:45.559
straying from that. If you go anywhere and search my

656
00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:49.119
name or if you hopefully google anything public relations related,

657
00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:53.599
I come up and it's consistent across all platforms, my website,

658
00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:57.599
when I'm in interviews, when I am social media presence,

659
00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:03.759
down to my LinkedIn, same bio, same headshots, same messaging consistency.

660
00:33:03.799 --> 00:33:05.680
And that's how you break through the noise. You become

661
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:09.680
the many many touch points people need to trust by

662
00:33:09.960 --> 00:33:14.000
no and like you, you create those through one all

663
00:33:14.039 --> 00:33:16.720
the platforms you already have that you create, but then

664
00:33:16.759 --> 00:33:18.880
by appearing on shows like this, it gives you an

665
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:21.680
extra boost of credibility. It gives you extra touch points,

666
00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:24.359
like people might watch the show once it's going to

667
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:26.319
live forever on the internet. They might be able to

668
00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:28.279
tune in years from now and see the same thing.

669
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:31.319
Guess what, The messages aren't going to have changed. I'll

670
00:33:31.319 --> 00:33:34.039
feel the same way in ten years about visibility as

671
00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:36.720
I do now, and I'll probably give people the same advice.

672
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:42.200
And so, okay, this is great because you're also talking

673
00:33:42.200 --> 00:33:44.759
about the longuvity. So first thing, like you mentioned about

674
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:48.079
is the consistency that if you're consistent, then you know

675
00:33:48.160 --> 00:33:55.480
whatever your audience is getting your information or wherever they're

676
00:33:55.480 --> 00:33:58.079
becoming up there, So it kind of takes them through

677
00:33:58.119 --> 00:34:01.960
that buyer's journey that okay, like okay, like oh they're

678
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:07.960
aware like hey, kJ is principled and she really kind

679
00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:10.239
of digs into values and all that that's my kind

680
00:34:10.239 --> 00:34:14.199
of person. And from there, like you know, it creates

681
00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:17.239
that an interest because they're listening to the same message

682
00:34:17.239 --> 00:34:20.880
that is consistent. So that's really really powerful and it

683
00:34:21.119 --> 00:34:27.039
helps people to not get overwholmed. Now, what are like

684
00:34:27.079 --> 00:34:28.920
you know some of the like you know two or

685
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:34.360
three things, you have almost so many years, like you know,

686
00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:36.960
like almost thirty years of experience based on what I

687
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:39.920
know about you, What would you say at three to

688
00:34:40.679 --> 00:34:43.719
five things that they should not be doing. We've talked

689
00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:46.119
a lot about what they should be doing.

690
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:47.719
What are those like?

691
00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:50.119
No, no no, you don't even touch that.

692
00:34:51.079 --> 00:34:54.559
For me, the no no nos are the first. No

693
00:34:54.559 --> 00:34:56.639
no no is anything that's not going to help you

694
00:34:56.679 --> 00:34:59.320
reach your goal, anything that's not going to help move

695
00:34:59.320 --> 00:35:01.760
you forward where you want to be and what you

696
00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:04.000
want to achieve. It's great to do all the things,

697
00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:07.039
that's the quickest path to burnout. Like, you don't need

698
00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:09.760
to be everywhere all the time doing all the things.

699
00:35:09.960 --> 00:35:12.159
You need to pick a platform, you need to pick

700
00:35:12.199 --> 00:35:14.320
your messages, You need to know what your goal is.

701
00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:18.760
Anything else falls by the wayside state a path. The

702
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:22.320
second thing not to do do not pay for media.

703
00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:25.159
Do not pay for attention, do not pay for press placement.

704
00:35:25.599 --> 00:35:27.400
None of those things. I see it all the time.

705
00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:29.639
People are like, oh, I can be featured in New

706
00:35:29.719 --> 00:35:32.599
York's Top Doctors. It's only one thousand dollars. Blah blah

707
00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:35.800
blah blah blah. No, don't do that. The ROI is

708
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:39.079
not there. You do not pay for reputable media outlets.

709
00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:42.199
You do not pay for the placement there. That is

710
00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:46.360
an advertising thing. It shows up as an advertising thing.

711
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:49.679
There are a million free publicity things out there where

712
00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:51.960
you wouldn't have to pay for outside of buying my book,

713
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:54.599
outside of paying for a publicist. The great thing about

714
00:35:54.599 --> 00:35:58.079
public relations is it's free. The media needs your story.

715
00:35:58.360 --> 00:36:01.199
They need to cover things. They need to see videos.

716
00:36:01.239 --> 00:36:03.599
They need to feature things that their audience and viewers

717
00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:07.119
find interesting. Podcast hosts can talk all they want to

718
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:09.800
in single episodes, but they need to interview people. They

719
00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:12.360
need to bring an experts. You're an expert, you might

720
00:36:12.360 --> 00:36:14.920
have a product, you might have a service. Take advantage

721
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:20.400
of that free opportunity. Never ever ever pay for press.

722
00:36:20.679 --> 00:36:21.480
Thank you very much.

723
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:26.199
Okay, well, thank you. You know this has been very valuable.

724
00:36:26.880 --> 00:36:29.280
Share with us. Where can our audience reach out to you?

725
00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:30.679
How can they connect with you?

726
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:35.239
Sure, you can find me on my website hearsaypr dot com.

727
00:36:35.440 --> 00:36:37.159
And if you want to work on your visibility, I

728
00:36:37.159 --> 00:36:39.480
have a freebee there. It's called a Visibility Workbook and

729
00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:43.159
that's heresaypr dot com backslash freebie. Or you can talk

730
00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:45.800
to me anytime on Instagram at kJ Blattenbauer.

731
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:51.320
Well fantastic, Any last thoughts that you might have.

732
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:55.199
I just want to encourage all of your listeners that

733
00:36:56.039 --> 00:36:59.320
visibility is not vanity, It's a leadership skill, and I

734
00:36:59.400 --> 00:37:02.119
need you to do one thing today to make yourself

735
00:37:02.159 --> 00:37:04.320
a little bit more visible, whether it's fixing your bio

736
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:07.480
across all platforms or finally getting up the courage to

737
00:37:07.559 --> 00:37:10.519
pitch yourself to media outlet or to show up on camera.

738
00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:17.599
Fantastic. Well, thank you, kJ and we wish you all

739
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:20.800
the best for your upcoming book because I'm or it's

740
00:37:20.840 --> 00:37:24.000
going to be value packed, just like our conversation was

741
00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:27.760
value packed. Thank you for joining us, and thank you

742
00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:31.480
wonderful audience, because without you, the show would not be possible.

743
00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:35.079
We love you reach out to us like as you

744
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:38.960
always do and let us know how can we serve

745
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.119
and support you to live the best life you can.

746
00:37:41.880 --> 00:37:45.920
And thank you one for being a tech genius, Take care.

747
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:49.519
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your

748
00:37:49.519 --> 00:37:51.880
host d V Park, we hope you have learned more

749
00:37:51.880 --> 00:37:54.559
about how to start living the life you want. Each

750
00:37:54.599 --> 00:37:57.519
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people

751
00:37:57.599 --> 00:38:02.119
who've experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.

752
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:05.840
During Beyond Confidence, Dvpark shares what happened to her when

753
00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:08.320
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly

754
00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:11.400
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people

755
00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:14.920
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to

756
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:18.400
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life

757
00:38:18.400 --> 00:38:20.760
they want. If you are ready to live the life

758
00:38:20.800 --> 00:38:24.519
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www

759
00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:28.519
dot dwpark dot com and you can connect with DWAT

760
00:38:28.519 --> 00:38:32.039
contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you

761
00:38:32.199 --> 00:38:33.280
joining us next week.