Oct. 21, 2025

How to Build Emotional Resilience and Teach It, Too

How to Build Emotional Resilience and Teach It, Too
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In this powerful episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh invites you into a conversation designed to reset how we think about leadership—not as a title, but as a way of living. Together with lifelong educator and athlete Paula Brill Adelman, they explore how leaders are shaped through everyday choices: the habits we model, the dreams we pursue (even later in life), and the values we pass on.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.

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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,

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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN

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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W four WN Radio.

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host w Park. Do

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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you

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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals?

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Well?

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Coming up on DVO parks Beyond Confidence, you will hear

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real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped

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into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and are living the

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life they want. You will learn how relationships are the

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key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your

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career business forward does not have to happen at the

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expense of your personal or family life or vice versa.

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Learn more at WWWA. You don't divpark dot com and

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you can connect with Diva ants Contact Dants divpark dot com.

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This is beyond confidence and now here's your host div Park.

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Good morning listeners. So I'm going to invite you to

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think about the last time your life knocked you down,

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not just a little, but hard enough that it just

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took your breath away. And in that moment you have

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felt down, and yet you moved through it. You got

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backed up again. Think about it, and that's the quiet

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strength that whispers to you keep going. And that's what

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emotional resilience is. And that's not something we're born with.

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It's something that we learn that we build on choice

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at a time, one step at a time, and that's

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what we will be talking about today.

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So I want to.

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Share something very exciting. I have finished my book, yes,

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my book on artificial intelligence and how to bring humanity

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at the intersection of it. Because currently when we are

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standing between human beings and AI, there's that intersection and

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how we can meet each other at that intersection. That's

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what it's all about, and I'll be keeping you posted

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about it. So let's jump into it and talk about

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how can we build that emotional resilience today?

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Welcome. Paula.

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Well, thank you for having me. I'm excited about being here.

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Excited to have you. So Paula shared with us how

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did you get into sports.

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Well, I'm one of six children and I'm the fourth

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after three brothers, and I was I think born an athlete.

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I don't know if such things happen, but as long

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as I can remember, I was always playing ball with

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my brothers, and then I was swimming, and it just

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seemed that back then we played outside, and you know,

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I was one of them and they were very supportive of.

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Me being with them and playing.

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So I think it was a very early thing that

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I started with my sports.

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Oh that's wonderful because sports is something what I find

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is that it binds people together, regardless wherever you're from.

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You've got to have a soccer game going, and like,

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you know, so many different people and so many different countries,

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it's just you know, cheering the same way. It has

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that common human language. So as you continued growing up,

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was there a specific that held your attention.

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Well, the first one that held my attention was swimming,

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and it was very much so. When I was ten

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years old, I went to the swimming pool that was

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the neighborhood house. It was only in the summer, and

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I tried out for the swimming team, and I guess

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I had a pretty fast time and they took me

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and I went on to continue racing and I was

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a brag about I was the Bronx champion in swimming

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when I was eleven years old.

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I set a record, go for it. It was so.

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Funny, you know, it was in the newspaper in New York,

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and you know, it was very very It was so rewarding.

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And I was part of a team and even one

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time my mother wanted me to go to camp and

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I said, no, I want to stay and I want

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to go. I want to swim and I want to

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be on the team.

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And that was really important.

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And I have to give a shout out to my

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oldest brother who would come to watch to all my

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swimming meets and he'd even bring his dates. Because my father,

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my father was a businessman, he was busy and my

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mother was busy with six kids. So it was yeah,

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it was wonderful. So that was my first thing. But

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talk about a little kick in the teeth, you know,

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overcoming an obstacle. After I won the Bronx Championship. We

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got a phone call in the house and I answered

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because we had a few phones with eight people in

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the house, and they say, can we talk to your parents?

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Were from the Olympic committee or whatever. My father gets

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on the phone and the woman says, you know your

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daughter won this championship. We'd like her to train for

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the sixty four Olympics. And I'm on the phone listening

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to this and he says, no, daughter of mine is

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going to spend the next two years in a swimming pool.

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Ah.

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That was his response, and then he hung up, and

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I was like, whoa, this is crazy. And so this

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was my first I had a hurdle that I had

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to murder. Didn't want to watch the Olympics. It was

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the Tokyo Olympics on the television, and you know, I

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was frustrated. I managed later on in nineteen ninety three

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to overcome this up, this feeling like I still have

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something in myself that I want to achieve. And in Israel,

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where I'm a dual citizen, they had the first Masters

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tournaments and I said, oh, maybe I can be in swimming.

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And I looked for the times, the starting times, and

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I found them. I put myself in the middle. Then

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I trained with the high school team and rale in

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Rocky Mount, North Carolina a month. It was I had

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one month to train and they took me on the

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team and I ended up winning seven medals. I felt

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like Mark Spitz in the I Want So it was

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like the finish of a dream. So this is kind

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of something it shows you can do it. If I

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could do it at forty something years old where it

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started at age eleven. But it wasn't something I put

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in the forefront. It was kind of like always just there,

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and I thought, when I have an opportunity, I'm going

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to go after it.

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And that's what I did. So that was yes, Yeah, Paula.

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That's amazing because and that is so many times what

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happens is that we put that timestamp on our dreams

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and then that's what kills it. That like I got

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to achieve it. But in this next one year or

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two years, what I'm hearing from you is that you

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did not give up on your dream. What you did

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was you stuck with it right it was there. You

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just didn't like bury it somewhere like Okay, I'm done.

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I'm not going to think about it. And as a

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result of what happened was when you got a chance,

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you did not put that timestamp on it, and you

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were able to achieve that. So when you got those medals,

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how did it feel?

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Oh? It was amazing.

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I mean it was just you know, and I was

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the team and the whole process and the metals around

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my neck and I was thinking, Wow, this was like

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a highlight of my life. It was one of the highlights,

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but it was so just felt like I did I

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completed something. The circle was completed. And I'm still swimming

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to this day and still competing.

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At age seventy six.

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I just turned seventy six two days ago. So yes,

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I think if I can do it, there are ways

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to do it. There are That was my first sport,

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but then I continued with since I was born in

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the generation where it wasn't the sports were not so

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accessible for girls as they were for boys. Team sports

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and things like that. The swimming was fine, and then

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I started just playing tennis on my own and that

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became a passion. And like I said, will follow the

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three p's they purpose, passion, and perseverance. They do those

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three things. You know when there's a way you can,

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when there's a why, you can find the how, you know,

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you know, so I think that that's that was the

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second sport that I excelled in. And actually, just to

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add a little bit to it, I kept going with

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my tennis.

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I was in the tennis team.

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At the University of Florida, and then I went and

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I became a tennis pro teaching professional. And I had

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already and I was playing competitively too. Anyway, my father

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and mother came to visit one time when I was competing.

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They never came to visit, you know, to do anything

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with my sports. I mean, it didn't matter to me either.

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And they watched me win singles, doubles and mixed in

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New Hampshire was the New Hampshire State championship. And afterwards

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my father came up to me and he said, I'll

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go find the best coach in the United States and

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see if you can make it on the tour.

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Now then I was twenty.

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Already, and I thought, you know what, okay, this was

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another thing, you know, maybe he was feeling bad about

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the swimming. And I went inside afterwards after I finished,

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and I had the book of all the tennis pros.

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This was back in nineteen seventy something, and I had

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a two hand forehand because I was fooling my swing

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and I ended up used and I said, who has

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a two hand and four end?

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That's a coach.

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And I said, Pancha Segura. Now, Pancha Segura, you have

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to be older. I mean, you may know, but I

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don't know how many of the audience knows who Pancha

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Segura was. But a very famous tennis pro with a

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two hander forehand.

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So I called him up.

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I found his phone number and called him myself, and

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I told him my situation. I was interested in play,

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you know, in advancing. I just won the state championship

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and I was on the team at Florida, this, that

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and the other. He said, well, okay, come out to

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Carlsbad in California. I was in New Hampshire. I'll and

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meet me at the tennis court. And I thought, okay.

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I took the first step and then I went out

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there and I met him. He said, play this kid,

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and I said, okay. So I played this kid, and

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I guess I did, okay. And afterwards he said, how

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about coming to lunch? And he had his daughter there too.

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We went to lunch and he said, first question he

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asked me was how old I was. And he said, look,

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how do you think you're going to make it on

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tour when Chris Everts has already won Wimbledon and she

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was eighteen, she's eighteen and you're twenty whatever. But I

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like the way you run, and you're the first person

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that's ever come to me without a connection. And I'll

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never forget that because he said, and I'll take you on,

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he said after I after I work with Jimmy Conners

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for a few months, then I will take you on.

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And then the story goes on.

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But this is the thing that it always stuck with

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me is when you make the first step and then

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you take the second. You know, I made the call myself,

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and I think a lot of people are afraid. And

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I think if you have confidence in the way you

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present yourself and you have a goal in mind, what's

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the worst thing they can do is maybe they could

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they could say no, or they could say sorry, or

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but instead with that statement afterwards, it was a pretty amazing.

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That was something very special.

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Yeah, no, I'm definitely intrigued to hear about the rest

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of the story.

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Yeah, yeah, the rest of the story.

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Oh it gets really you want to talk about being

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able to get over obstacles and to really be whole,

231
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and this one can finishes this. The tennis story is

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I ended up trying to go for my dream and

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he said I had three months. So I was actually

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working out in San Diego with a famous coach I

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don't want to mention names, and he was my coach.

236
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He was great, and he was teaching all the you know,

237
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those that went on tour at that time. I had

238
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a few months, but he was very jealous if I

239
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played with any man or worked out with you know,

240
00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:22.440
worked up anyway, I went on tour and he came

241
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with me, and I ended up with a back problem

242
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and we took a little break and I went in

243
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a cave. We went to Ruby Falls, Tennessee, and I

244
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went in this cave with you know, it was with

245
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a group, you know, and I get down there and oh,

246
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what's going on? I felt like, and I'm not. It

247
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wasn't clausaphobia or anything. And I came I said, I

248
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got to get out of here. And I went up

249
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and the same thing was going on. When I got

250
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outside outside, I felt like I was closed in and

251
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I found what is going on and.

252
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They didn't even know. I didn't even know the word agoraphobia.

253
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But and then I you know, ended up.

254
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You know, I told Carl, you know, I'm going to

255
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have to when we got back to San Diego, I said, look,

256
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I'm going to have to go look for a teaching

257
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job because I can't go on.

258
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I've got to find the answer to what's going on,

259
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and I just have to quit the you know.

260
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This, So I took a job and a job at

261
00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:17.759
Cherry Hills Country Club in Denver, Colorado. I you know,

262
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I had information and and then I thought, okay, but

263
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Carl said, if I leave him, he's going to kill himself.

264
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M And I get a call when I'm at Terry

265
00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:33.440
Hills on the and on the phone, my friend called

266
00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:36.440
me from then from the San Diego which said, Paul,

267
00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:42.960
he killed himself. And this you talk about having to like,

268
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I've done some amazing things, but I've also had to

269
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jump over some incredible hurdles. And so I ended up

270
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going to a psychiatrists, going to a psychologist, change the

271
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red light green. And this that what happened in your

272
00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:58.960
childhood night a wonderful And finally I went to the

273
00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:04.320
to the to the synagogue of the Temple, and the

274
00:15:04.600 --> 00:15:06.360
rabbi was there. Because I just thought i'd give up.

275
00:15:06.360 --> 00:15:08.679
Maybe I'll go to the you know. And he said, listen, Paul,

276
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my brother just died jogging with his son. And I

277
00:15:12.360 --> 00:15:15.279
had to go see somebody myself. He did, and he said, listen,

278
00:15:15.399 --> 00:15:18.720
go to this man, Robert Aldolstein. I'm just giving him

279
00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:21.120
a shout out. He saved a lot from me. And

280
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when I went to him, he said, Paul, I said,

281
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I want to fly again. I want to go back

282
00:15:24.759 --> 00:15:26.360
on tour. I want to go on the tour to

283
00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:28.480
turn to you know. And I was in the avon

284
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:31.240
futures and he said, what's the worst thing that could

285
00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:35.519
happen to you if you fly m And I said, well,

286
00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:38.000
I guess I could die, you know, I actually made

287
00:15:38.039 --> 00:15:40.360
a statement. He said, well, then go find the shortest

288
00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:44.559
flight possible and see if you can do it. So

289
00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:47.360
I rented a car went down to the Broadmoor down

290
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:51.360
in Colorado Springs. They had the grand Masters playing then

291
00:15:51.480 --> 00:15:54.639
in tennis to talk about something. I said, I'll go

292
00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:56.639
up there in the meantime, I got my flights tomorrow

293
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and the grand master's Betty Merla was watching down, you know,

294
00:16:01.320 --> 00:16:05.679
watching the courts down where Pancho Gonzalez and Torbinoulrich were playing,

295
00:16:05.960 --> 00:16:07.080
and he's talking to me, who are you?

296
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I said, oh, I played tennis.

297
00:16:08.159 --> 00:16:11.360
I'm a tennis prow And then he after everything was over,

298
00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:13.759
he called me afterwards and said, would you like to

299
00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:16.480
go to them? Would you like to warm up with

300
00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:21.519
us tomorrow to grand masters for our you know, And

301
00:16:21.679 --> 00:16:24.679
then they invited me to to dinner and they knew

302
00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:27.240
why I was there because Beppy had the same phobia.

303
00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:32.360
This this Italian grandmaster. It was incredible. And so then

304
00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:34.759
I end up on the same flight as they're taking

305
00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:38.799
back and Torbin Ulrich, I'll never forget that man, anybody

306
00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:40.039
who knows tennis, this is.

307
00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:41.519
My ring a bell.

308
00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:44.639
He took my hand, walked me to the plane. It

309
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:46.759
was like a ten seater and we go on the

310
00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.159
plane and he's calmed me down. He's like, mister guru,

311
00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:53.919
mister you know, Buddhist Kyle Omas guy, wonderful I had

312
00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:57.720
that took that flight with them with all the grand masters.

313
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Then they flew back and I was able to recover

314
00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:05.720
from my phobia. MMM, with the help of the Grand

315
00:17:05.799 --> 00:17:11.079
Master's tennis players. You never know when you are willing

316
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:13.480
to keep going if you.

317
00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:14.319
Have a goal.

318
00:17:16.039 --> 00:17:19.400
And this is you know, where the tennis actually, you know,

319
00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:21.920
that's that's enough of the tennis. But it's more to

320
00:17:22.039 --> 00:17:25.240
show people. And I owe a lot to those friends

321
00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:30.720
and people that supported me, and you know, that's that's

322
00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:35.640
one big chapter, you know. And then I have the

323
00:17:35.720 --> 00:17:38.920
dual citizenship with Israel, which was the second chapter.

324
00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:43.279
Yeah, so there are a few nuggets that I am

325
00:17:44.440 --> 00:17:48.400
getting from here. Is that keep going and it's okay

326
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:53.720
to ask for help. And you talk about character, So

327
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.599
tell us how does building a character plays into all

328
00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:56.799
of this.

329
00:17:58.440 --> 00:18:03.720
Well, it's something that I think I learned when my

330
00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:06.200
father let me go to a two months summer camp

331
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with my brothers, not let me.

332
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I had to go.

333
00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:10.440
You know, my mother was having two more chill a

334
00:18:10.519 --> 00:18:13.960
baby in July and I was six years old, and

335
00:18:14.119 --> 00:18:17.599
I learned how to be independent. I learned how to

336
00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:20.960
enjoy being you know who I was, and it was

337
00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:23.279
I mean, I knew my brothers were on the camp too,

338
00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:26.039
but not my bunk. And I was six and after

339
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:28.880
that experience, I thought, Oh later, I was thinking, boy,

340
00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:30.279
I learned.

341
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:31.440
How to.

342
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Navigate the world.

343
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I mean, I felt like I was in charge of myself.

344
00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:43.039
That not that my parents were constantly hovering over me.

345
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We were lucky.

346
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We were, you know, at a point where you take

347
00:18:46.440 --> 00:18:48.200
your bike and make sure you're home by six for

348
00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:49.440
dinner and.

349
00:18:49.720 --> 00:18:50.640
You can go and play.

350
00:18:50.920 --> 00:18:55.160
And I think those skills that I learned with the

351
00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:57.920
support of maybe the sports helped a lot that I

352
00:18:58.119 --> 00:19:03.319
was I felt very comfid in school and also connecting

353
00:19:04.119 --> 00:19:08.279
on a deeper level with people. This was something I

354
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:11.440
used to love to say. I love to reach below

355
00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:16.359
the first level when I meet people. And I think

356
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:19.960
that that's I know from when my children wrote about

357
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.519
me when they were eighteen and I was starting to

358
00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:23.160
write a book about character.

359
00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:23.000
And.

360
00:19:24.519 --> 00:19:27.480
You know, they said we were we were not over

361
00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:27.839
and over.

362
00:19:27.960 --> 00:19:31.799
We were allowed to be independent, and we knew she

363
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:35.200
loved us, and we knew that, but we also knew

364
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.640
we could succeed. And we were together as a team

365
00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:41.680
and it was teamwork.

366
00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:42.640
And I think.

367
00:19:44.119 --> 00:19:48.119
People forget about you know, they think they can't achieve something.

368
00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:51.759
And I think us, as let's say, as coaches, sometimes

369
00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:54.359
we have to meet the person where they are.

370
00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:57.599
And this I've learned through a lot of years.

371
00:19:57.880 --> 00:19:58.559
And you know that.

372
00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:05.279
It's like when I teach golf, which I'm an LPGA

373
00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:10.440
Golf professional, I lifetime member. When I teach, I don't

374
00:20:11.240 --> 00:20:17.000
assume anything. I don't say the word it's easy, which

375
00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:20.240
I think is a big mistake when someone finds something easy,

376
00:20:20.319 --> 00:20:23.680
Oh it's easy, I'll show you. You know that word,

377
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:27.519
you know, it doesn't resonate. And I think getting to

378
00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:30.920
know people, and I've had I've taught tour players one

379
00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:33.319
tour one made it back on tour after a lesson,

380
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:36.640
and I'm thinking, he said, you know, I understand what

381
00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:39.839
you're saying. I could have the best bros in the

382
00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:40.599
world teaching me.

383
00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:43.440
I'm on the tour and I'm this and I understand

384
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:44.400
what you're saying.

385
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:47.880
And he had me as his coach after that, and

386
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:50.599
I thought, wow, I've only been teaching for like one year.

387
00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:53.480
Because that's another story how I became a golf professional.

388
00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:55.000
And that also was character.

389
00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:56.720
And I think.

390
00:20:58.279 --> 00:21:02.960
When I think back and I I, Okay, how do people.

391
00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:05.599
Why has this happen to me?

392
00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:09.279
You know, why are all these good things happening, and

393
00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:12.559
I think, I don't know if you you know that.

394
00:21:12.599 --> 00:21:14.799
I think how I became a golf pro is the

395
00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:18.440
one that's in my book, the Book of Finding Life's Passion,

396
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:21.839
and I wrote about that, and I think that that

397
00:21:22.039 --> 00:21:27.079
one sums up the other two is I was in Israel.

398
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.359
Goldemeyer inspired me when nineteen seventy I went to Israel

399
00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:32.799
and I became a dual citizen at that point in

400
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:36.440
nineteen seventy and I felt like I was part of

401
00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:41.119
something greater than myself and it was the most important

402
00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:44.200
lesson I learned. I was first worked in the kitchen.

403
00:21:44.279 --> 00:21:46.319
Then they put me in the children's house. And when

404
00:21:46.359 --> 00:21:49.480
I was there, after working there a long time, I said,

405
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:50.920
when I have kids, I'm going to bring them back

406
00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:53.519
to the kibootz and so they can be raised in

407
00:21:53.640 --> 00:21:57.279
this kind of environment or leadership. You can learn to

408
00:21:57.319 --> 00:22:00.519
be a leader in a group, and you was something

409
00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:04.200
very very special. And I taught swimming and I created

410
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:06.640
taught them golf under the keyboard. But it was just

411
00:22:06.759 --> 00:22:11.440
a beginning. And then just to finish the last with

412
00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:14.880
I think is the most interesting one, with how I

413
00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:17.559
became a golf pro overnight I had to go back

414
00:22:17.599 --> 00:22:19.720
to the States with my kids. I was divorced and

415
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:22.640
had to go back for the summers. And I stayed

416
00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:25.240
because I had a little back issue too, and I

417
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:27.599
was teaching golf. And this is one thing you could hear.

418
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:31.240
Audience may appreciate, maybe this tip. I was playing and

419
00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:34.640
I had a bulging disc. Anybody with a back operation, Okay,

420
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:36.880
I had a bulging disc from my tennis playing disc.

421
00:22:37.160 --> 00:22:39.519
And I did just go easy? Well, I went easy,

422
00:22:39.599 --> 00:22:39.720
you know.

423
00:22:39.799 --> 00:22:42.440
I was at the playing I was teaching, and then

424
00:22:42.519 --> 00:22:48.200
I sneezed, and I sneezed and my back the disc

425
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:51.599
ruptured and I fell onto the table. I was upstairs

426
00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:57.519
and I go, oh no, I could hardly walk and

427
00:22:57.640 --> 00:23:00.559
my I was in neurologies. He said, Paul, one percent

428
00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.240
need a back operation. You probably, he said, but bring

429
00:23:03.319 --> 00:23:05.920
me in the X rays the MRI, he said, had

430
00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:08.880
you get in here, you're the one percent. So I

431
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.519
ended up staying in Raleigh. Where was in Raleigh and

432
00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:17.039
got a back operation, had a divorce and after that,

433
00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:19.319
after and I asked him how long before I can

434
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:22.119
go back to sports? He said, give it two weeks

435
00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:25.119
at least, and that's all I asked, was the swimming?

436
00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:27.799
But then I decided to take the kids back to Israel,

437
00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:30.440
back to the Keybooz. But I needed a new sport.

438
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:32.640
I didn't have a sport.

439
00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:32.839
You know.

440
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:34.839
I taught these things, but I wanted something to play.

441
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:37.240
And the golf course was close by. So I went

442
00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:40.480
to the golf course and I thought, okay, I'm going

443
00:23:40.519 --> 00:23:42.480
to learn. Maybe I can learn how to play. So

444
00:23:42.680 --> 00:23:44.960
the guy standing there and I said to him, it

445
00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:47.839
was a They were playing a pro am. I didn't

446
00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:51.160
know much about golf, and he said, you know. I

447
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:53.839
told him, I'm I'm trying to learn how to play golf.

448
00:23:54.039 --> 00:23:56.160
And he said, well, I'm giving a kids clinic right now.

449
00:23:56.839 --> 00:23:58.359
He says, if you'd like to come and you can

450
00:23:58.400 --> 00:24:00.720
get some pointers. So I went down and he asked

451
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:02.680
me a question about tennis in the middle of this

452
00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:05.519
kid's clinic and said I was a pro or something.

453
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:09.240
And then after the clinic this guy comes up. He

454
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:11.640
was the head pro, Charlie Mandelstan, and he said, would

455
00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:12.319
you mind hitting.

456
00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:12.920
Some golf balls?

457
00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:15.640
I thought, but I don't play golf. He said, well

458
00:24:15.680 --> 00:24:18.000
that's okay, just hit some balls. Hit about ten balls.

459
00:24:18.039 --> 00:24:20.200
He says, how would you like to teach with me

460
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:24.400
And I said teach what and he said, teach golf.

461
00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:26.559
I said, but I don't play golf. He said, that's okay.

462
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:28.319
I said, I have two kids, there're seven and nine.

463
00:24:28.599 --> 00:24:29.039
That's okay.

464
00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:31.759
You'll teach the clinics and they'll be part of it

465
00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:34.799
and they get out of school arly. Okay, that's fine.

466
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:36.920
I don't have to go back in the summer to

467
00:24:37.039 --> 00:24:40.720
the because that was our agreement with my ex husband. Okay,

468
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:43.440
no problem, you come back in September and you will

469
00:24:43.480 --> 00:24:47.000
be my assistant. And I thought, oh oh, this is crazy.

470
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:49.160
And I was forty years old.

471
00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:52.279
So I went back to the States and everything, and I,

472
00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:56.599
you know, come back and every week they have fun

473
00:24:56.680 --> 00:24:59.720
tournaments with the player, you know, without anybody who played golf.

474
00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:00.960
And it was only one course.

475
00:25:02.039 --> 00:25:05.039
So I show up early that day and they said,

476
00:25:05.079 --> 00:25:07.000
hurry up, Paul, we need a fourth for this group.

477
00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:10.200
And I thought, whoh, I've met a tournament.

478
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:13.759
I go down the steps and this old, this older

479
00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:16.039
gentleman with a floppy hat says, Paul, would you like

480
00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:18.319
to ride with me in the cart? And back then

481
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:20.799
in nineteen eighty nine, we were using pool cards most

482
00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:23.960
of us, you know, and I like to walk. I said, oh,

483
00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:27.160
that's no problem. Halfway down, I notice a cart following us,

484
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:29.400
and I say, oh, do they keep score for you?

485
00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:29.920
One golf?

486
00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:30.519
You know.

487
00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:34.799
I was like saying this to myself. Get to the

488
00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:36.319
end of the first hole in one of the fours,

489
00:25:36.359 --> 00:25:37.799
and I knew his name because he was my neighbor.

490
00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:40.359
I said, Tony, what's my partner's name? He said, just

491
00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:44.240
call him mister president. And I got over to the

492
00:25:44.359 --> 00:25:48.039
cart and Heim Hertzar, the current president at that time

493
00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:51.559
of Israel, was my golf partner, the one I rejected

494
00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:55.119
to go with him. And I thought, oh, no, this

495
00:25:55.279 --> 00:25:57.319
doesn't happen two weeks after I show up to be

496
00:25:57.440 --> 00:25:59.119
a golf prone. Now I play with the president of

497
00:25:59.160 --> 00:26:01.960
the country and his and we're on the last or

498
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:03.519
one of the last holes walking up the hill and

499
00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:05.920
he turns to me and he said, Paula, how would

500
00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:09.119
you like to be part of our regular forsome. Thomas

501
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:13.119
Friedman just left the country after writing from Beirut to Jerusalem,

502
00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:15.799
and we'd like you to be our fourth.

503
00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:20.079
Now, I mean, and this is what happened.

504
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:23.759
I was part of their forsome and I always wanted

505
00:26:23.799 --> 00:26:25.759
to thank Thomas Friedman, but I haven't been able to

506
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:27.279
reach to get.

507
00:26:27.160 --> 00:26:27.680
Hold of him.

508
00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:30.640
But it was these are the kinds of things that

509
00:26:30.799 --> 00:26:34.279
make you wonder why. And the head pro so Polies

510
00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:36.400
never even agreed to play with a woman before, and

511
00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:37.599
there was nothing between me.

512
00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:39.039
I learned that very young.

513
00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:41.599
You know, there was nothing between me and the president,

514
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:44.480
you know, in a romantic way or whatever people might

515
00:26:44.599 --> 00:26:49.839
dream up. And I thought, how come this happens? And

516
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:57.200
then people would say, it's you. It's the way you behave,

517
00:26:57.599 --> 00:27:01.559
it's the way you are. You're not looking for this

518
00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:04.480
to happen to you, but you're putting one foot in

519
00:27:04.599 --> 00:27:08.920
front of the other and you're showing up. And I

520
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:11.720
think it's a lot for you know, I think these

521
00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:14.039
skills need to be taught very early in life. And

522
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:16.839
this is where I think there is a connection. Not

523
00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.960
I was born with these skills, but I think that

524
00:27:20.599 --> 00:27:23.599
parents just to put that in there, that parents can

525
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:25.359
make a big difference.

526
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:30.319
And role models. And Charlie, this pro was a role.

527
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:33.839
Model for me. He believed in me, and one year

528
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:38.119
later I was I joined the LPGA as apprentice and

529
00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:40.279
worked my way up and now I'm a life member

530
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:44.319
of the LPGA Teaching Division and it always because of

531
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:51.680
Israel one golf course then being able to, you know,

532
00:27:51.799 --> 00:27:54.720
really pay attention and have a passion for this game.

533
00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:58.119
And my children became very good golfers and that affected

534
00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:02.160
their life too positively. So these are my stories and

535
00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:03.079
I'm sticking to them.

536
00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:09.079
Beautiful stories, Paula, and I really like how you said

537
00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:12.480
that it's about showing up, showing up for yourself and

538
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:14.720
you may not have the path laid out, and that's

539
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:17.000
the beauty of life. Think about it, how life would

540
00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:19.599
be boring or if we were to go watch a

541
00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:22.240
movie where we knew exactly what was going to happen,

542
00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:25.200
nobody would go what we would be done in like

543
00:28:25.359 --> 00:28:29.720
five minutes. So life is no different and taking life

544
00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:34.880
as an adventure showing up. So tell us what books

545
00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:38.880
you've written, how parents can support their children and how

546
00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:39.960
can you connect with you.

547
00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:44.480
Well, the book that I am part of that I

548
00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:48.680
was asked to write. My story is Finding Life's Passion.

549
00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:52.240
Just Funes is in the series Wake Up, Live the

550
00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:53.039
Life You Love.

551
00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:57.000
Now you have to look. It's on Amazon, but you

552
00:28:57.079 --> 00:28:57.640
have to look.

553
00:28:57.599 --> 00:29:00.480
Under the top of the series and then you see

554
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:02.640
six or seven books and this is the name. And

555
00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:06.559
my overnight golf professional story that I wrote is in

556
00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:11.400
this book. And that's the only thing I have also started.

557
00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:14.079
I started to write a book on raising kids with

558
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:19.240
character and to succeed in life, at school and in life.

559
00:29:19.799 --> 00:29:22.440
And I got through a.

560
00:29:22.519 --> 00:29:24.920
Part of it, but it isn't out there yet. But

561
00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:28.359
I did a lot of interviewing, and I interviewed the

562
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:32.400
children of these kids that actually I used Harvard since

563
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.759
my son very proud of both of my sons. One

564
00:29:35.839 --> 00:29:37.640
went to Harvard and the other went to Brown with

565
00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:42.240
no connections and it was no wealth, and it was

566
00:29:42.839 --> 00:29:45.920
you know, I interviewed kids that got in on character.

567
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:47.559
And when we went to look at the school, they

568
00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:50.039
said one third of our student body gets in on character.

569
00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:54.000
And yes, it was very interesting to sit there and

570
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:57.720
my son was next to me, son David, and I said, David,

571
00:29:57.920 --> 00:29:59.759
you know, I kind of nudged him, you know, because

572
00:30:00.119 --> 00:30:02.960
the character was so important, and I didn't realize that

573
00:30:03.039 --> 00:30:05.000
that we don't want to hear about kids that did

574
00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:07.960
million sports and a million activities, and we want to

575
00:30:08.039 --> 00:30:13.319
know you as a leader, that you created the opportunity

576
00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:17.160
for others to join, and he stuck his neck out

577
00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:19.640
when he was the president of the Harvard Student for

578
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:22.359
Israel and then he was the liaison between.

579
00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:24.519
The Arab world and the Israeli world.

580
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:31.200
And it was this part of the combination of exposing

581
00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:36.160
them to different nationalities and being able to get along

582
00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:40.599
with people of different you know, faiths and everything else

583
00:30:41.160 --> 00:30:44.279
that I think has affected my children and others. And

584
00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:46.680
so I was writing the book about others who got

585
00:30:46.759 --> 00:30:52.000
in on character great employed. Their stories are so riveting,

586
00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:53.960
and I one of these days, I've got to get.

587
00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:56.920
This out, so I really get it out.

588
00:30:57.000 --> 00:31:01.319
Pull So yeah, the last time he might have and

589
00:31:01.960 --> 00:31:05.160
before you share those where can people connect with you?

590
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:10.960
Well, the best way is probably on either email, which

591
00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:13.839
I you know, have my email, I think you my

592
00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:15.240
Gmail account.

593
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:17.839
That's can you read it out?

594
00:31:18.359 --> 00:31:23.359
It's p A D like David E. L one two

595
00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:26.759
three four five at gmail dot com.

596
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:27.920
Mm hmm.

597
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:32.759
And I also did a startup and I'm winding that

598
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:35.039
down because I didn't get funded. I admit to that

599
00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:37.880
it didn't get enough funding. And it's so in my

600
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:42.480
LinkedIn profile, it'll see it says boomers boomer surf dot

601
00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:46.240
com because that was my startup to help people with technology.

602
00:31:46.559 --> 00:31:50.000
Now I need help, you know, the boomers. But it's

603
00:31:50.039 --> 00:31:52.920
still there and I still get the information from there,

604
00:31:53.039 --> 00:31:56.680
so the LinkedIn it's possible. My Facebook account is under

605
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:03.200
my oh gosh, it's under my name Paula brill Ailemen.

606
00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:06.559
So that's where it differentiates me from any there are

607
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:10.799
other Paula Aielman's and I've also I haven't put a

608
00:32:10.839 --> 00:32:13.160
lot of my pictures up, but I like photography and

609
00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:16.440
I have some pictures up on Instagram. But everything is

610
00:32:16.519 --> 00:32:18.480
really under my name, and if there's any problem, they

611
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:20.319
can reach out to me with email and I can

612
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.039
steer them in the right direction if they want to

613
00:32:23.079 --> 00:32:26.799
really reach out to me. For any opportunities that you know,

614
00:32:27.319 --> 00:32:32.359
people have, or questions that you know better children or whatever.

615
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:36.920
Any last neute thoughts you might have for our audience.

616
00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:43.079
Well, I just think that if people can just believe

617
00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:46.279
more in themselves and their goals and what they want

618
00:32:46.359 --> 00:32:51.240
to do, I think it's and the children not to

619
00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:53.480
put them in a million activities right now. This is

620
00:32:53.640 --> 00:32:58.839
very tempting, but it's I think it's something that we

621
00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:04.720
all can improve on the way we present ourselves and

622
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:07.640
sometimes we don't have patience and we say well or

623
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:10.880
even learning to breathe, you know, I do the five

624
00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:13.519
two seven, you know, breathe in five, hold the two

625
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:16.000
and then let it out seven. And I have a

626
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:18.839
hot tub, and I think a lot of these things

627
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:21.640
have helped. And I still swim. And I think that

628
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.839
some of these things, as you get older, they keep

629
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:29.119
you younger and they allow you to keep moving forward

630
00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:32.319
no matter what age you are. And I don't, And

631
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:35.200
I think you have to value your own self worth

632
00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:39.160
and go after the things you are passionate about.

633
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:44.799
Beautiful, thank you for joining us, Paula. I enjoyed our

634
00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:52.640
conversation and wonderful audience. It's about showing up. It's about

635
00:33:54.119 --> 00:33:59.119
not putting your dreams on hold. It's about building that character.

636
00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:03.119
It's about going after your dreams. We talked about a lot,

637
00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:07.039
so we would love for you to share it out

638
00:34:07.640 --> 00:34:10.719
because we want to build a community where people.

639
00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:13.079
Can live the life they want and the deserve.

640
00:34:14.039 --> 00:34:17.559
Thank you on for making the show technically possible. He's

641
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:21.760
a tech vizard, and be well, take care and show

642
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:23.760
for yourself. I'll see you next time.

643
00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:27.880
Thank you, Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence

644
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.039
with your host, d V Park, we hope you have

645
00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:32.559
learned more about how to start living the life you want.

646
00:34:33.039 --> 00:34:35.760
Each week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real

647
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:39.320
people who've experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building

648
00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:44.000
meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Vpark shares what happened to

649
00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:46.239
her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to

650
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:49.320
work directly with people across the globe. She not only

651
00:34:49.400 --> 00:34:52.760
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform

652
00:34:52.840 --> 00:34:56.599
relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live

653
00:34:56.639 --> 00:34:59.039
the life they want. If you are ready to live

654
00:34:59.079 --> 00:35:01.880
the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more

655
00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:06.119
at www dot wpark dot com and you can connect

656
00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:10.159
with w at contact at dwpark dot com. We look

657
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:11.840
forward to you're joining us next week.