Sept. 9, 2025
The Lie That’s Shrinking Your Success
In this bold and timely episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh exposes what most leaders overlook: impostor syndrome isn’t just a personal struggle—it’s a silent business drain.
From missed promotions to underpriced services and lost innovation, the ripple effect is massive.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
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who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
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are living the life they want. You will learn how
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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
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at the expense of your personal or family life or
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vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com
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and you can connect with diva Ant contact dant divapark
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dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host,
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div Park.
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Good morning listeners, it is Tuesday morning and I get
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to be with you. So for past several weeks, I
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was having a working vacation and the beautiful thing about
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that was the house was right on the ocean and
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one of my cousins had invited to her place she
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had rented for summer. So just being there, being part
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of nature, it helps you connect with yourself and realize
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that where does life begin, where does life go? Is
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life take us? And it gets you to be a
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little bit more introspective. And today we're going to be
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talking about some tough things and think about the cost
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that no one puts on the balance sheet. That's what
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we are going to be talking about today. And yes, everyone,
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every one of us experiences it. And if you don't,
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more power to you. But I do want to share
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that that having coached thousands of people, having been in
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different areas, like you know, from being an associate professor
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or to being an entrepreneur to working in the corporate world,
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we all go through it at some point in time
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and now you might be curious, what is this cost?
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What is this hidden text that I'm talking about that
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none of us even put in our budget, We don't
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put it on our balance sheets. It is impostors syndrome.
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And I have been working on that for quite some time,
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including myself, so just a few probably, like you know,
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a few years back, I was thinking, hmm, what's on
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my bucket list? Let's think about doing the tech talk.
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So I've done keynote, speaking, I have done a lot
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of speaking engagements, and yet there is something about the
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tech talk where there needs to be brevity, where you
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need to take people on a roller coaster, like you know,
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you have to put your point across with clarity and brevity.
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So I kept on thinking, hmmm, maybe that's not my
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cup of da Maybe I'm not cut out for that.
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Maybe maybe maybe maybe, And that was the hidden texts
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I was paying And why do I say that? Because
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it kept me from realizing my potential, like, okay, let
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me go out and do that tech talk. I did
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do that, but I had to cross that barrier, and
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when I did, it was so liberating because I moved
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beyond that stretch zone. I moved beyond that comfort zone.
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I stretched a little bit, I experienced discomfort. But when
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I was on the other side, I didn't care how
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many people liked it, how many people applauded it. What
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mattered to me was that I did it. And that's
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the question to ask yourself. I'm going to ask you.
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I'm going to invite you to ask yourself, where are
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those hidden texas that you're pink And you keep on
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paying all those h in texas. And when you keep
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on paying all those hidden texas, what happens is that
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you keep on increasing the cost. And when I say
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it's increasing the cost, what it means is what is
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it costing you to not come face to face with it.
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Let me share with you another story. A client of mine,
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we'll call her Sarah, incredible leadership coach. Her clients just
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loved her, and she had testimonials a mile long. Yeah,
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And every time she would mention her price, she would say,
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like when she sensed hesitation on a potential client's face
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or some objection in the voice, and she would just
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kind of go and say, oh, you know what, but
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if that's too much, we can adjust. And guess what happened.
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Every client took the discount. Who doesn't like discounts. I
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like discounts. And why was she losing out? Not because
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she was not talented, not because she was not creating transformations.
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She was losing out because she was doubting her own
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worth in the moment, just as I had doubted myself
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my capacity, and then I could do it. And when
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we calculated with all the discounts that she had given
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to her clients, you want to take a guess, Take
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a number how much money she left on the table?
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Not ten thousand, not twenty, not thirty forty thousand dollars
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on the table just one year. So that's the imposture text.
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And it doesn't show up in your budget, it doesn't
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show up in quick books, it doesn't show up in
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different areas. But guess where it shows up. It shows
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up in lost revenue, lost authority, lost moment. And I
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could keep on going with stories after stories after stories.
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So I'm going to invite you to kind of think about.
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Where are you using.
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That you're not paying attention to that imposter syndrome. Check
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it out throughout the day. Is it that goal that
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you keep on putting off because guess what ninety two
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percent people fail to keep the New York's resolution. And
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why do I call it New York because you know
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the ball drops everybody knows and.
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Thirty feet December, right, we're all just up. You're ready,
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like you know, we're welcoming new Year and we are
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ready to go. You've got my long resolutions and only
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ninety two percent people fail, only ninety two percent, yes,
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but there are that eight percent that stay the course,
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that stretch themselves. I would say that most people fail
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almost one hundred percent. People fail sometimes in their lives
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and it's okay, but failing because things did not work
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out is different than failing because of imposter syndrome. So
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think about how much is it costing you? So that's
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one stat.
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I gave you another stat KPMG, Like you know, they
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do a lot of research, and what have they shared.
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That's seventy five percent, Yes, seventy five percent of executives
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admit to experiencing imposter syndrome at some point in their career.
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And what happens. It may be a mispromotion. It maybe
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you're not speaking up when you could have taken that initiative,
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missed opportunities and when you have missed opportunities. It can
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have long term ramifications because remember, a decision not taken
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is a choice. A decision taken is a choice. An
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action not taken as a choice, an action taken is
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a choice. So what happens is that we are thinking, oh,
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this is fearful, I'm not going to take that step,
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and I'm staying comfortable, yes, in my cocoon. But I
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want to tell you you that unless that butterfly really
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breaks that pecoon, that helps it strengthen its wings because
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if it did not push through it, if it did
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not feel that discomfort, its wings wouldn't strengthen and it
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wouldn't fly and it would drop dead. So yes, we
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feel that is comfort. Yes, we have this impostor syndrome.
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What would you like to call it, Let's call it
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a gremlin. Gremlin impostor. It shows up and it holds
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you back. So going to share another stat with you,
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another Deloitte study. So Deloit is a consulting farm and
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then they do a lot of research and a lot
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of surveys and all that. So they have done a
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thorough study and linked imposter syndrome with underpricing, missed opportunities
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and stall promotions. These are just a few things. So
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all right, imposter syndrome is there. So now you've taken
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a moment, you've taken a stock of your life, and
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you have seen where am I holding myself back? What
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am I not doing? What opportunities am I missing out?
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Is it because I have evaluated everything? Is it because
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I've made informed decision? Or is it because I am
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contracting and not expanding? Are you shrinking from success? So
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the key is you've got to ask yourself are you
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keeping silent? Are you hesitating? Are you overworking? Where are
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all of these It's costing billions when we total it up,
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and it's in thousands of dollars probably to you and
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billions to the companies. So I'm going to go back
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to one of my other clients, Jason. He worked for
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a tech company, mid level manager. You know, he had
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been there for at least four or five years, and
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he had been doing good. He was getting kudos, and
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yet there was something that he was not getting promoted.
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He went through two cycles of promotion, but one of
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his peers got promoted, and his boss kept on telling him,
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you got to prove, you got to show some innovation.
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You got to look around, because that's where when we
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were sitting in the calibration room, and when we were
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in the calibration meeting, we were looking let's call him Jason, Jason,
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we were looking at your performance review, and let's call
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the other person John. When we were looking at John.
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The difference between the two of you was then John
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had done something innovative. John had done something to improve
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the processes that he was working on, and that helped
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a lot of other people, and it helped cut down
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on the cost. Of course, it just put him in
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another category. So Jason comes to the coaching we explore
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and he says, you know, I don't think so Devia.
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I'm able to see things. I just don't have it
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in me. Here's what I want to tell you. Just
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like Jason had it within him, you have it too. Yes,
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you do, because I sincerely believe every person, yes, every
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person on this planet has unlimited potential. You have the
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answers within you. You have that potential. It's about looking
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within and finding that impostor gremlin and facing it through.
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So he comes and we work through it, and I'm
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going to share with you some tips how to work
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through it. So let's just fast forward his story. One day,
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he comes to me and says that as we have
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been working through this, I've been looking at the process
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that I'm working on and how could we cut costs
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and speed up the delivery timelines. And there was this
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innovation meeting. Even after him being prepped and all that,
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he just froze and couldn't speak. He said like, oh,
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I'm not just senior enough to say this. He stayed quiet. Yeah,
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And then they had another consultant because they needed to
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improve the processes. The consultant came and pitched almost exactly
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the same idea. Guess what at hundreds of thousands of dollars.
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Of course he wouldn't have got that, but he would
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have got a very hefty chunkin pay, raise and title
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which would have amounted to be calculated almost two hundred
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thousand dollars with price stocks and all that. And then
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he came back and said, that could have been me.
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So what happened here? Innovation died in that silence. And
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then they got to it. We said, and I'll come
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back to Jason's story, and also I will come back
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to Sarah's story. It's not done yet. But I want
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to show you what can happen when you give into
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that gremlin, impostor so. And let's look at it. Why
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does this gremlin have so much power? Right? It's like
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these people know they're capable, they're ambitious, they're already outperforming.
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Why does it strike more and more and harder and harder.
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Here's the thing. The higher you rise, the more you're scrutinized,
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and the more visible you become, louder that grammar and
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whispers you don't really belong here, Jason Sarah, you don't
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belong here? What if they find out? And here's what
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I'll share with you that neuroscience has shown that what
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happens is like there is fear, there is stress. Our
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lizard brain amygdalah boom boom boom boom boom. What it
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does it do? It fires off on arms, Yes, alarms, alarms,
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alarms that oh gosh, it's pressure. So when it's pressure,
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you're going to make mistakes. And even if you have
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made few mistakes in your life, see, there is that
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proof and proof that you're not worth it. There is
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that proof you're not capable. So what happens is that
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when there are high stakes moments, even high powered executives,
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even experienced at leaves, even people who have done it,
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they get struck by it. So remember, as Aristotle said,
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courage is the first virtue because it makes everything else possible.
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So you could say, like, all right, the monster gremlin
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impostor showed up. I'm going to let my knowledge sit idle,
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I'm going to hide my talent. I'm going to shrink mythority.
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So that's not going to work. And why is that?
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Who are people missing out on this? Because they're going
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with the wrong solutions. And here's what I'll show it
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to you. They're waiting like, oh, and I'm confident, I'll
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speak up, I'll log in more hours, I'll collect more certifications.
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And I'm not saying those certifications cannot bring that to you.
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