Sept. 16, 2025

The Taoist Way: Simplify, Strengthen, and Step Into Your True Power

In this soul-stirring episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh sits down with Taoist teacher and founder of the Niranam Method, Gerard Wouters, to explore how ancient wisdom can help us navigate modern leadership and life with radical simplicity.
You’ll learn how to release the mental clutter—fear, overthinking, and self-doubt—that blocks your natural strength.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen

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com and you can connect with tv ants contact dants

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divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's

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your host div Park.

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Good morning listeners. And today as I was walking, like

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you know, I met my old neighbor and we were

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walking back together and it was just so wonderful and

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we were talking about kindness and what she shared was

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that that she had been talking to someone and was

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not a lady, I mean, just a stranger like you know,

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passed by and her dress and her the dress color

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caught her.

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Eye and she just stopped by and said, like, you know,

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that is so beautiful. And what the lady responded in

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return was oh, her.

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Face lit up and it made her day. So when

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we talk about hindness, it's not just about doing big things.

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It can be little things and seeing what you can

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do for others doesn't take much energy and all of that.

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So thank you to each and every one of you

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who have got our books, and if you have not,

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get a chance and get our books from Amazon. You know,

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if you tap money in or go for expert to

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Influencer or the Entrepreneur's Garden, you will be supporting us.

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You'll be supporting yourself because I can definitely tell you

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that you will get a lot of actionable nuggets from

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out there, and also you will help us help entrepreneurs

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because we donate part of the proceeds to keey it

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out org. And let's bring in our guest, elir. I'm welcome, Jared,

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Thank you, thanks for you right, absolutely so, Jared, why

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don't you share with our listeners if you recall a

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moment that still stands out in your memory, whether you

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were a young child or in your youth, somebody left

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the positive mark on you.

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Well, my I was teacher mayor left a huge mark

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on me because at the age of thirty two, I

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was really depressed, felt really stupid and completely lost, and

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you know, I vividly recalled the lowliness I felt. And

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then at one moment, I met my teacher, my Towish

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teacher at the business meeting. No coincidence there, because when

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the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And I

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took him home with me and he explained to me

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after some talks, you know, we spent hours talking to

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each other, and then he suddenly said, you know what,

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You're not stupid. The issue is that You're not stupid.

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The issue is that you are very intelligent and people

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don't understand you. So you're not stupid, you're not an alien.

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They just don't get you. And you're very high sensitive too.

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And yeah, well for some people that is a problem

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because you can see how they feel. And yeah, well

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at that moment, a lot of drops landed in my mind.

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So at that moment, I understand. You know, there's no

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problem with being different, and I am different. There's nothing

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wrong with being different, but just a lot of people

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don't understand. And well, is that my issue or is

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that their issue? Yeah? You know in Taoist there's a

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saying when somebody offers you a gift and you don't

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accept it, then who is the owner of the gift? Well,

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it's obviously the person that is trying to give you

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the gift and the person that doesn't understand you. So yeah,

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that's what my teacher told me. You know, it's okay

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to be different, nothing wrong with being different. Yeah, but

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what is very important is understand who you are and

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what your value is. Know your worth. And that's what

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I've been teaching people for twenty eight years now. You know,

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nothing being different and we can't all be CEOs of

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from big company. We need genditers too, you know, And

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that's okay. Yeah, but a lot of people don't feel

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that way. The only the feeling that they are good enough,

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like I did once.

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And so what led to you feeling.

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That, Well, because of people don't understanding me. And because

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they didn't understand me, they yeah, put me down, you know,

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they downgraded me and they didn't value me like I

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was and yeah, well that made me feel really stupid.

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And the fact nobody gotn't got me. Yeah, And that's

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what I see with a lot of people. A lot

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of people have the feeling that they are good enough

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because they don't understand their value, they don't understand their

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place in this world. They're bothered with fear, feeling not

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good enough, overthinking and you know that doesn't help, It

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doesn't serve you, and it doesn't make you happy. And

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that's what it should be, you know, life should be

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in the flow. Yeah, and of course we all have setbacks.

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But you know, when you understand how to decipher setbacks,

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it becomes a message that you can work with and

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that gives you the choice to do things the other way.

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Around and when you do things in another way after

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understanding the setback, you'll see that you've come back in

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the flow again and that makes life a lot simpler.

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So you talk about being in the flow. What is

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being the flow mean for you?

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Well, being a flow means that everything is going like

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it should be. You know, life is not is not

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supposed to be a struggle like many people experience it,

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and that's not a flow. You know. The flow is

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that everything is going to come in your way. Everything

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that is meant to be for you is coming your way.

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And that doesn't mean that we all have to be millionaires,

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but it means that you have to be happy and

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successful in the things that you do. You know, everything

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has to go. As soon as you find find some

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resistance somewhere, then there's something that you're doing wrong. And

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when you decipher that setback, you will understand what you're

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doing wrong and you can do it in another way.

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You can make other choices and do things in another way,

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and then you will find that you come back in

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the floor again.

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M So tell us about your journey. You you're not

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feeling that self ward, So what was going through your mind?

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And tell us a possession.

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I was constantly trying to prove myself to everybody, prove

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myself worthy. But you know what, that only creates the opposite,

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because people don't like people who are proving themselves because

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they want to show their worth themselves too, And yeah,

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it doesn't work.

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So yeah, And if you say that, like, you know,

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you are trying to prove your word that the manifest

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and your behaviors and feelings.

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Wow. Yeah, wow, I'm trying to push things and I

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was working far too hard, crossing my boundaries, trying to

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please everybody. But you know what, in the end, I

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was pleasing anybody and especially not myself. Yeah, because you know,

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the only one that you have to please in life

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is you. And that doesn't mean that you have to

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be wrong to people, but it means that you have

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to put yourself first. Eccentric about it, you know.

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So a lot of people take that belief and take

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it differently that you know, I need to put myself first.

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And some of them also believe that it's okay to

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put somebody down, to disregard other people. What would you

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say to them, Well.

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You know what, when you pull people down, that's says

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everything about you. Because people who know who they are

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and have confidence don't go put people down. They lift

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people up. Mm hmmm yeah, and.

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That is the key, right, and you can focus on yourself.

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So how can you find that balance? Like they're still

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thinking about themselves, like you know, when they're lifting other people,

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it's also too important to figure out they're not putting

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themselves down, they're not putting themselves. Yeah, how can people

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figure out whether they're pleasing and how can they find

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that balance?

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Well? By unlearning some things, but I do. Mostly it's

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unlearned and unlearned fear, learn overthinking because it's not serving you,

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and unlearned their feeling that you are in a good

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because that feeling is placed upon you by people who

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themselves feel not good enough. And as soon as you

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realize that, you can turn it around. Yeah, because there's

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so many people out there who have the feeling that

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they are good enough and they're afraid that people see

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it and they start overthinking or how can that change it?

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And how can I show people then when they don't

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worth it and blah blah blah, you know, stop it. Yeah,

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stop going out, start going in and understand who you are.

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And there's nothing wrong with being putting yourself first, because

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when you're not happy, the people around you are not happy.

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You know. I once said a chat with somebody, a woman,

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and he says, sheid, no, when my children are happy,

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I'll be happy, And I said, what are you kidding?

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That's completely the other way around. You know, when you

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are happy, your kids will be happy because you are

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the one who has to give the example. And she

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was completely flabbagatid. It was completely the other way around,

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you know, And that's that's we learned so many things

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that they are not correct, that don't serve us anymore. Yeah,

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like putting everybody first. Now put yourself first, because when

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you are happy, it shows. Yeah, when you're self worth,

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it shows, It shows in your aura. Yeah, like like

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when your people, when you give people a compliment, you

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know what a lot of people do, they start explaining

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themselves making issueses don't. Yeah, because when you get a compliment,

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you've probably earned it, So why start excusing yourself such

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a waste as I'm when you get a compliment that

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you've earned it, and when you understand that, you don't

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have to excuse yourselves for getting a compliment. Yeah, So you.

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Talk about unlearning and overthinking. So like people know, most

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people know about these principles, they kind of know that,

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and yet they keep on doing it. So how can

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they unlearn overthinking and fear?

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Well, you know, we we developed our thinking to learn

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new things, to understand new things, and to control new things.

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But you know what, that's what you do once percent today.

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So why should you think twenty four seven day such

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a waste of time? You know, because ninety nine percent

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of the things you do every day you have been

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doing for the past decades every day, So I think

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about that. You know. It's like learning to drive a car.

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When you learn to drive a car, you have to

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think because everything is new, and that's okay, it's logic.

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But when you've been driving for twenty years, you don't

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have to think about it anymore. It becomes an automatism.

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And that's how our thinking should work. You'll learn something

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something new, you think about it, and when it becomes

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an automatic purpose, you start thinking about it. Yeah, when

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you drive a car, the only thing you need to

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think about is where am I going? And that's it

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and that will only take five seconds.

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Yeah, people want to do that, but they're not able

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to do it. What is stopping them?

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Well, it's because everybody does it, but that doesn't make

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it right. That's an issue in this world. There's a

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lot of things that we learn every day and we

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all think it's normal, but it's not. Like, fear is

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not normal. Overthinking is not normal, you know, because it

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keeps you away from your authentic self. Yeah, you learn

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fear every day, but realize that the people that are

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teaching you fear are the people who are trying to

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control your life. And it's not okay, you know. Yeah,

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And when you fear some things, you were attracted automatically.

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You know, when you were afraid of spiders, you will

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attract it your house being filled with spiders. And that's

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the you know, that's the lesson. The lesson is understand

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that what you fear is not okay, you know, it's

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it's learned behavior from the people around you who often

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share the same fear.

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What framework did you use that helped you aligne with

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your nature restore yourself word, Well, my time with teacher.

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Are taking a lot of things and made me made

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me experience all kinds of things, you know, like a burnout.

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He created with energy, a burnout with me and said,

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you know what, I'll give you a month show me.

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And in three weeks I was out of it. And

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then you came to me and I said, okay, okay,

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explain what is it and how did you get out

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of it? Well, it was very easy. It was the

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feeling of being good enough and overstepping all my boundaries,

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trying to please everybody, trying to show everybody that I'm

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worth it, and nobody did until I stopped. And the

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moment I stopped, everybody started to value date me, compliment me.

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You know, that's the simplest funny thing in this world

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because when people are confident, we put them on a

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huge pedestal. But that that says that we find it

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normal not to be confident, and that's completely the other

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way around, you know, So why should we admire people

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who are themselves? Because that says that we find it

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normal that we are not ourselves And that's a bit

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of strange. But everybody thinks that way, and that's what

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I do learned because it's not okay, you know, it's

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not correct. We're okay to admire people, but don't forget

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that you are worth it too, you know, That's what

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I said. Not everybody can be a CEO or IBM

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or whatever. You know, we need janitors to because if

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we don't have jepitors, it will come a mess. Yeah.

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Lou Rols had a beautiful song about it, clean it up. Yeah,

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you know what the sound. Yeah, we need everybody, you know,

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and everybody has his place in this world. Yeah, and

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that's okay. Realize as you are adding value to the

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world by being who you are.

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Right, So, what are some of the shifts that people

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can implement? What would you like, you know, give people

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some practical tips that they can walk away to work

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through this.

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Well, let me tell you about southear. You know, there's

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a very good film After Earth. I don't know if

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you heard it. It's with Will Smith and his real son.

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In the film, it's his son, but it's life in

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real life it's his son too, and he says something

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very good that nobody understands. He says, you know what

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to his son in the movie. He says, you know,

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danger is a reality, but fear is a choice. And

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he's right. Is that He's very right? Fear is a choice,

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you know, Like I said, one of your colleagues I

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had an interview with somebody I won't call the name, Okay,

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and she says, yeah, but I live in Colorado where

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we have huge snakes. And I said, do you realize

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that a snake doesn't use his eyes and he's almost blind?

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And she said what I said? Yeah, you know, a

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snake doesn't use his eyes because he's almost blind. He

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uses his stun to takete this environment. And when you

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meet a snake, yeah, because you're in Colorado, yeah, jungle

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bush bush, because you will meet snakes. But a snake

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sees two tree stemps. Yeah, and when you stay still,

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you stand still, the snake will just move on, yeah,

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because he just sees two three stems. But when you move,

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people feel attacked, and then you will attack you. So

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understand that a snake doesn't see you. He sees two

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three stamps. And when you realize that, you'll see that

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you will overcome your fear and you will never see

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a snake again in your life. Because that's how it works,

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That's how the universe works. You are always confronted with

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your fear because you need to unlearn. You need to

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unlearn that fear. You know, like spiders, you know, a

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spider is only this big. He's completely harmless. So why

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be afraid of a spider? Well, a lot of people

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and a lot of women are afraid of spiders until

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they realize that a spider is so small it never, never, never,

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ever harm them mm hmm. And when they realize that

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they will never see a snake ever again in their life,

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because that is our universe works, Yeah, unconsciously.

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So what about you know you've talked about fear that, Okay,

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you'll unload it, work through it. But some people, they

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go through a lot of tragedy, they go through trauma,

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and trauma is a way of coming back quite often.

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So what would you recommend for them?

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Well, you know, there's always light on the end of

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the tunnel, and when you get setbacks, when you get

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trauma stuff like that, realize that there's a lesson out there. Yeah,

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there's always a lesson. This life is one big unlearning experience. Yeah,

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and you know I've been through trauma. Tell me about it,

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you know, I can tell you once small thing. You

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see here a picture of my little girl. I have

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a seven year old, but that's not the only child

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I have. You know, I have two other daughters. Who

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I am for thirty one years old? Yeah, talking about traumas,

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you know, I haven't seen them thirty one years. I'm sorry,

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but you know what, life goes on m hmm. And

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of course you have pain, you know when I see

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children at television, of course it hurns. But you know what,

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that's a part of life, you know. Life. The English say,

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have a very funny saying about it life speech, and

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then you die. And English women have one that's even funnier.

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They say life supposit and then you marry one. Very funny.

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But that's the way I think.

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Interesting. Yeah, we all.

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Get challenges in our life. Yeah. You know, I did

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a group session once and there was one woman. He says, yeah,

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you know what, I had a little girl and she

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died at six. What does that mean? Well, I said,

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you know what, and this may sound very strange to you,

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but the child was ready. The child has learned everything

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it needed to learn, and it was ready and it

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happened to you. Sorry to say so, because you can

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handle it. And she says, yeah, that's how I feel too. Yeah,

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And I said, you know what, be glad that you

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uh enriched her life for six years? Yeah mm hm

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you know, things happen in life. Yeah, you know, it happens,

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you know, but that doesn't mean that your life has

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to still stand still. Mm hmmm, we have to move on.

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Yeah, no, it's that that definitely makes sense. And you

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talk about leadership and bone out crisis there, and of course,

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like you, I've seen a lot of my clients also

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sharing that to feel the bone out. So can leaders right,

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because they have like a fast paced life. They need

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to have the speed and they need to sometimes deliver

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things on time. So what can they do? Like, I know,

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you have a method of like a Taoist method. Do

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you want to walk us through that? Well?

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The most important with people, and especially managers have been

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one for twenty one years, is to maintain your inner peace. Yeah,

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that's the most important issue, you know. And keep your

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inner peace. Don't let yourself, don't let people or situations

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get the best of you. You know. I can give

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you an example. Once I was a manager of sixteen

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people and we had an apartment. You had a you know,

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garden with all kinds of desks, you know, I'm eran.

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I think that's the American way. And a guy from

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another apartment, other department I met him at the hallway

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and he was completely stretched out. He says, I said,

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what's wrong with you? He says, well, panic because this

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bank account is empty and we need to transfer four

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hundred million euros or got deal doctor that account and problem.

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I said, is that a problem? Yeah, that's a very

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big problem. I said, well, you know what, it's not

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to you. It's a problem, but I'll have it fixed

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in ten minutes if you want. It's impossible. Nobody can

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do that like that. I says, you know what, but

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take a piece of paper, put down the two bank accounts.

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Tell me which bank account has to put the four

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hundred million in that bank account and I'll have it

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fixed in ten minutes. Impossible, Well do it. You want

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to be done, write it down. So he wrote it down.

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I caught my agent at the main bank. I said, sweetie,

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I've an issue, and she says, well, tell me about it.

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I said, you know what, I need to transfer four

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hundred million from this account to the account and she says, well,

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no problem. When should it arrive? I said five minutes ago.

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She said, well, we will be there in ten and

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i'll see the paperwork, right. I said, you know you

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know who I am, right, of course you'll see the paperwork.

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No problem there. So I took a piece of paper,

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a special order. I went up to the president of

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the company. He signed it without even looking. Everybody signed

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four hundred million, right, he signed it out even watching.

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Anybody signed, And I went down to the desk of

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the person who was better thinking, and I said, you

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