Feb. 17, 2026

What Are Leaders Not Trained to See Until It’s Too Late?

this episode, Divya is joined by Chuck Marting, leadership performance strategist, author of Mastering the Impairment Code, and a professional with decades of experience across law enforcement, education, and corporate environments.

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.

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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals?

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Well?

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Coming up on Dvaparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real

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stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,

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shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.

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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving

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your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward

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does not have to happen at the expense of your

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personal or family life or vice versa. Learn more at WWWA.

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You don't divpork dot com and you can connect with

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diva ants contact dants divpark dot com. This is beyond

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confidence and now here's your host, div Park.

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Good morning listeners. I am so thrilled to share with

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you all. My book is out and is doing very

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well because my clients had asked me to write it

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because artificial intelligence is everywhere and it's hard, i know,

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like wait to start what to focus on. So if

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you all are interested, you can go to Amazon and

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grab a book a copy of the book which is

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The AI Agency. And today we we'll be talking about

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something a little harder conversation and just stay on to

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listen to it.

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Welcome Chuck Oh, I appreciate it.

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So glad to have you on our show track.

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Thank you.

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Share with us. If you recall a moment in your

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youth there a person or an experience left a positive

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mark on you.

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Well, you know that's that is a very good question.

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And there is something that left a very positive mark

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on me. It could have turned out totally different, and

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that is you know, when I was twelve years old,

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I had somebody that was high on drugs that attempted

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to abduct me off the street and the person that

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did that was the police found him and then they

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arrested him and they took him in the custody. But

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you know, that's not what changed my life. What changed

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my life was when the officer came back to my

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home to check on me, to make sure that I

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was safe and that I was okay, and to reassure

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me of that.

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It changed my life.

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It gave me a different perspective of what policing was,

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what protecting people was, and that really gave me a

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glimpse into what I wanted to accomplish in my life.

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Was to be able to have the ability to make

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somebody else an impact like that in their lives. To

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know that they mattered, that they care, that someone cared

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about them, and that they want them to be protected.

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That is such a powerful statement that creating that impact,

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letting even if it's one person, known that they matter

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and they're important. So when you grew up, tell us

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about your journey, what direction did it take?

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Well, because of that, I eventually became a law enforcement

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officer myself, and later during that time of being a

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law enforcement officer, I spent twenty years in that career.

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Eighteen of those years was as what they call a

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drug recognition expert. So I was an expert witness and

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court going in and testifying as far as what impairment

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looked like. And I think that's something that I was

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able to cling onto because of not only the experience

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I had when I was younger, like I just mentioned,

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but because I felt drawn to that to protect people.

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I started seeing a lot in the workplaces. I started

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seeing a lot with individuals. You know, the most dangerous

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blind spot that I see in leadership is confusing silence

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with compassion. A lot of times it's because we don't

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know what to look for or how to react to it.

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M huh. That's that's really important point, confusing silence with

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compassion before we go to it. I'd love to hear

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what for your learnings throughout your journey. You know, you

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took the learning and experience you had as a child

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and became a law enforcement officer. So during your journey,

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because it's such a hard place to me, you're seeing

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a lot of tragedies and a lot of lost opportunities

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and young lives or for that matter, what did you

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bring home?

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You know that was one of the hardest things to do,

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is to be able to separate the things that you

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experience in that career and then go home to your

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family and try to block out those things. I did

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the best that I could. Sometimes those things did carry over,

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but I was wise enough to be able to recognize

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that I had a really good relationship with my wife.

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She's been she and I've been married for thirty five years.

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She went through a lot of this stuff with me.

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She's my rock, and I think that's really important too,

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is having somebody that is going to understand when I

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came home, there was times where I just needed to

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be by myself, to power down a little bit and

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getting a different frame of mind. One of the things

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that I did do early in my career is I

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intentionally lived about forty five minutes to an hour away

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from where I worked. And I did that because I

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didn't want anything that I did in my professional life

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to affect my family. I wanted to be able to

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go to a restaurant and that run into people that

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I may have had to had dealings with or had

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to arrest or things like that. It was very important

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for me to try and keep that separate. Not that

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my family didn't know a lot of the things that

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I saw because we talked about it. I think that's

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one of the most important things that you can do

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in any type of a leadership position when you go

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through things that could be traumatic or things that are

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very life changing, or they can affect you in your

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mental health as well, is to have the ability to

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talk to somebody that you can get those things out.

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And that was an important part of my life. My

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wife went through a citizen's academy, and a lot of

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police departments offer that not only for community leaders, but

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for also officers families, so they can go and experience

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or see some of the things that officers have to

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do every day in their life. So when that officer

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does come home and they're having a bad day, they

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kind of understand maybe something is going on with this,

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and there's a little bit more empathy and compassion to

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be able to address that within the family and to

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keep it from affecting you and your family.

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That's the biggest thing.

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So as we kind of talk about it, and you

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talk about empathy and compassion, how did you bring it

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to yourself. Because as it is important to bring compassion

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to others, it's also important to bring compassion to yourself,

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because I'm sure there were times when you are not

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able to help people and you're exactly direct, like, what

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could I do more?

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You know, that's an interesting question that you're bringing up,

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because I think that in law enforcement there comes a

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point in time that you have to make some decisions

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because you get to a point where you see so

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many bad things and you don't have the time to

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just work through all of those things, and you're going

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from one call to the next and to the next.

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I was very blessed to be able to be called

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into be a school resource and that totally changed my career.

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It was the ability to make a difference with not

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only the community, but with those kids. You know, I

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may have had to take an incident report with a kid,

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or I may have even had to issue the ticket,

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and in some cases may even had to arrest a

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kid because of things that happened there in the school.

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But what was the most powerful thing for me was

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to be able to see that kid the next day,

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that student, to be able to build that relationship with them,

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to let them know and understand, look, part of life

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is making mistakes. It's what you do with that that counts.

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Are you going to learn from it? Are you going

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to be able to change and to be able to

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develop that with them, to give them a different perspective.

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I think that's very important because there's a lot of

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perceptions in public right now as to how police officers

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are and how they interact, and that they are very

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enforcement oriented. When I was in the schools, I had

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a lot of leniency as far as deciding with the

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school is in the best interest of this student in

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their family to pursue something, because, to be honest with you,

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sometimes the discipline in the things that the school could

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do were far better than me putting a kid in

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a jail cell or issuing them a ticket. So I

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was blessed to have that because it changed my perspective.

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I was able to start showing that empathy that we're

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talking about, to understand that, you know what, people are

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going to make mistakes, but you have to give them

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grace and be able to help them to get through that.

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To understand it. I still have students to this day

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that still contact me and thank me or doing the

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things that I did with them. So you don't understand

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really the impact that you can have by acting in

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that way, especially with kids. It also gave me a

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better perspective being a father going home and dealing with

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my own kids that were going through school and having

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compassion and empathy for them in some of their situations.

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And it was probably the best thing that I ever

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did for my marriage and for my family because it

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gave me that opportunity to get into a different mindset

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in law enforcement, I think I had a far more

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impactful ability being a school resource officer than just a normal,

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everyday police officer. Not that that job isn't important, It's

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very crucial, but there's no closure. You go from one

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call to the next to the next, so you really

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don't get to see the back end of whatever happened

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to this individual. Where in my situation in the school,

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like I said, I got to see that student every

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day and see them develop and see them change. So

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it was very rewarding.

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And you have talked about quite a few students whose

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life you impacted while keeping the confidentiality. Could you share

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a story as to where they were and when you

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met them, and then where they ended up.

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You know, I had a student that Emilia came to

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mind when you said that, because I was in the schools.

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I was in the schools as a school resource officer

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for ten years.

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I chose to be there that long because I had

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such a great opportunity and the ability to make change

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that I didn't have a desire to go anywhere else.

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But I met a family that they themselves. The parents

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had kids that they adopted, they were able to have

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children themselves, and some of these kids came from backgrounds

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that were very abusive and bad, and they were on

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a journey with these kids to try and change it.

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And one of those students was a student by the

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name of David. And you know, David was a good kid.

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He made mistakes, just like.

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Any other kid.

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And I remember a time that he and a group

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of boys were caught in the restroom smoking marijuana and

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all of the students, all the other boys, admitted to it,

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except for David. He was adamant he hadn't done anything wrong.

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And when I came in contact with him, I could

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tell that he was really tense. And he looked at

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me and said, no way, Officer Martin, you know me,

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no way, I didn't do this. And you know, on

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the surface, that really does make sense, you know, because

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I developed that relationship with him, and most people would

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just said, all right, let's just keep moving on. But

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marijuana impairment can leave subtle physical changes that unless you

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know what to look for, you're going to miss it.

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And that's what I did with David is I did

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an evaluation with him, and I saw that his eyes

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were dilated, his eyes were tremoring when he closed him

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and when I checked for convergence where he's able to

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follow an object in, his eyes wouldn't come together. In fact,

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one of his eyes drifted outward, which is a key

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sign of impairment. With that, and to be able to

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not only talk to him about that and then him

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finally admitting to it, and the bottom line is is,

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of course, he didn't want to get in trouble at school.

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He really didn't want to disappoint his parents. But we

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had the opportunity to bring his parents in and talk

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and we were able to share what was going on,

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and there was a little bit deeper personal issues that

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were going on that he felt that this was the

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best way to cope with it, and so he and

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his family were able to make that change. And you know,

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the last time that I saw David, he was doing well.

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He often when we did have communication outside of school afterwards.

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You know, you got to figure that I did this

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fifteen years ago when I retired, and so most of

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these kids that I dealt with in middle school are

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now adults themselves, and so they recognize me, but they've

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had so much development change. A lot of times I

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don't know who they are until they talk to me.

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And David, it was a pleasure getting to talk to him,

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and he got to meet my wife, and he thanked

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me for taking the time to understand that his emotions

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at that point were very fragile and to show empathy

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and concern.

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I could have wrote him a ticket.

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I could have done a lot of different things, but

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I chose to go with the school and to be

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able to do some counseling and some help with him there,

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and to involve his family. That was one of the

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more rewarding things that I that I got to do,

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and I got to do that on a continual bases.

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It just wasn't David, it was other students as well.

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We live in a society that we have so many

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different things. The school that I was in, it was

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primarily in a low income housing area. So I had

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a lot of different dynamics in that cases where you

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had single family, single families that were having kids in

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the school, where there was nobody home when these kids

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came home, and so how do you keep those kids

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out of trouble when mom and dad are at work

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trying to get through things. So it was an opportunity

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to help work with the community and to gain their

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trust to be able to help them in their leadership

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journey with their kids, to help leadership in the school

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be able to more effectively deal with issues that a

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kid was involved in that they may not have really

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known about themselves. But because of my ability to check

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into the backgrounds and things that are going on, I

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was able to bring something to the table that was

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really needed for them to be able to make the

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best decisions involving these kids.

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Yeah, I know, and thank you. Thank you for your

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services and supporting our younger generation because they have the leaders.

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As you mentioned that it's been a while and that

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the leaders of today and you talk about leaders missing

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out on those like having blind spots. Can you tell

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us a bit more about that.

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Yeah, you know, we were so used to hearing people

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say leaders when they end up dealing with impairment or

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even other issues for that matter, saying well, you know

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we have a zero tolerance policy, Well what does that mean?

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A lot of times leaders know they have it, but

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they don't know exactly what it does or how it

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can help in that situation. And what I've really concentrated

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on with leaders is just that's what I call blind spots,

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having a thirty second check in with somebody, being able

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to look somebody in the eyes, being able to ask

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someone how they're doing and then actually listen for an answer.

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Are they able to have that coherent conversation, Are they

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able to communicate well with you? And then being able

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to check somebody's normal baseline. Are they off balance? Are

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they you know, stumbling? Are they stuttering? Are they having

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issues that when you see them every day, this is

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totally new, There's something going on. I think a lot

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of times we're in such a rush to do things

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because we have time constraints, we have things that we

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need to do. But if you can just take thirty

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seconds as a leader just to check in with somebody,

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you're going to be able to find out in that

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thirty seconds just by looking at their eyes, seeing if

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they could communicate whether or not they have a change

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in their normal baseline. You're going to know whether you

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need to continue that conversation with them to figure out

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what's going on, or within thirty seconds everything's good, we

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can move on. I think that's the most important thing

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that we need to do. And active listening actually hearing

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what they're having to say to you and showing that

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you care.

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Yeah, and you.

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Said that that we are in a rush, especially everything

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is you know, go go go, go, go, get it done,

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get it done, and finding that time so that just

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thirty seconds can make a huge difference. And you talked

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about active listening. Do you have any deeper tips in that.

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You know? Active listening is so crucial. I learned this

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early on as a police officer. You know, I often

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tell people as a police officer, I had this, even

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administration in the school come to me and they say,

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how did you get that kid to tell you this?

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How did you know?

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And I looked over and I had a candy jar

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in my office and I sawved more incidents in that

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school with a candy dish than I ever did with enforcement.

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Because when kids would come into my office, or even

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school administrators or even teachers for that matter. A lot

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of times they were guarded. Sometimes the kids felt like

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they were going to get punished. And you know what

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I would do is I would slighte a Snickers bar

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across the desk to somebody and something would usually shift

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and then people would get comfortable and I would listen.

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And one of the things that I've taught my own family,

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my kids in general, and they if they were here,

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they would tell you this was a big thing with dad,

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is when I would communicate with them, and sometimes we

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want to be hurt. Everybody wants to be hurt. They

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want to be listened to. I would be in the

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middle of talking, and even in this well, I'll be

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millile of the talking, and they would stop me and

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they want to put in their two cents or what's

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going on. And I would look at them and I said,

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are you listening to react? Are you listening to hear

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what I'm asking you or saying to you? And when

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you had that reset with people, you would be amazed

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how different that conversation would be because one, now they

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know I'm listening. Number Two, they know that I care

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because I want to hear what you have to say.

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But you know, it's kind of like my father told

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me as a kid. He said, Look, we can sing together,

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but we can't talk together.

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We have to have turns.

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We have to listen and understand so that we can

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figure out the best way to react and to help

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each other. So I know that active listening is such

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a crucial part of leadership for parents, for anyone just

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taking the time just to listen. You'd be amazed how

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many people will come to you and thank you when

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you really didn't say much in that conversation, but you

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allowed them the opportunity to say what was in their heart,

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what was happening in their mind, and then showing them

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the compassion and care and concern that you wanted to

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be able to help. I deal with people coming into

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my facilities every single day, and one of the things

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that I've taught my team is that look compassion in

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active listening or crucial, and when somebody comes in, even

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if even if you don't care, pretend that you do

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and watch what happens. And because of that, we've had

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less incidents of misunderstanding. We've had people come back and

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thank us. It's amazing what happens just through the ability

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to show somebody that you care and you want to

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hear what it is, they have to say.

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Yeah, no.

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And that's powerful because what you're talking about is not

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only listening but also creating that space where you're bringing

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in that empathy, empathy and compassion. And when you do that,

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people know that you are creating that time you're sitting

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there with them. It's not about the rush. And you

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have talked about earlier on in our conversation about silence,

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compassion and empathy.

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