Aug. 14, 2024

Empower your voice

Empower your voice

Join Divya Parekh, Laura Reid, and Jocelyn King to discover why finding your unique voice is crucial for personal and professional growth, and learn practical strategies to overcome the common fears associated with public speaking. Gain confidence,...

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Join Divya Parekh, Laura Reid, and Jocelyn King to discover why finding your unique voice is crucial for personal and professional growth, and learn practical strategies to overcome the common fears associated with public speaking. Gain confidence, authenticity, and the ability to connect deeply with your audience. Tune in for actionable insights and inspiring stories that will help you slay the stage and unlock your potential as a speaker.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.

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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,

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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN

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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W four WN Radio.

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.

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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvaparks Beyond Confidence,

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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

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who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and

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are living the life they want. You will learn how

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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen

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at the expense of your personal or family life or

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vice versa. Learn more at wwdas don't divpork dot com

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and you can connect with div at contact at divpark

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dot com. This is Beyond Confidence and now here's your host,

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div Park.

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Good morning listeners. It's my favorite day of the week

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because I get to be with you and today has

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we are talking about kind of story I want to share.

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One of her guests, Laura Read, is from Hawaii and

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it's four am for her and I.

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Want to share her story.

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So we were in a summit and Laura and Jocelyn

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were pitching their stories to me so that they could

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get on our show. And when I said that, like.

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Yep, I'd love to have both of you.

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And when I told Laura that, like, this is a

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live show and she was just so Perkin said, yeah, yeah,

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it's all right. I'll get up and I want to

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be here. So it's about showing up. And today that's

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our show going to be about, like you know, empowering

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you voice. So if you want to empower your voice,

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get a book. Entrepreneur has gotten other expert to influencer

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because both of them will help you not only empower

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your voice, but also empower other's voice. So let's bring

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in our guests. Welcome Laura, I welcome.

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Jocelyn, Hello, good morning. So great to be with you, Devia,

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thank you for having me on.

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Oh absolutely so, Jocelyn, share with us a moment from

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your childhood, and Laura, that'll be for you as well.

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There there was a positive moment or a positive person

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who left a remarkable impression on you.

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Well, because we're going to be talking about speaking, I

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was thinking about one of my earliest memories. I grew

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up in southern California. I live in Silicon Valley now,

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but I grew up in a Hollywood family and the

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one that particularly loved live theater and live performance, and

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I remember being encouraged. It's funny, one of my best memories,

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one of my worst memories are the same thing. It's

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getting up on stage. But I remember my best memory

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of getting up. It actually started as what I thought

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was going to be horrible. We were at a very

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large theater room and my dad called me up on

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stage to sing, and I did not want to go.

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I wasn't prepared. I mean, of course knew songs and

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I could do that, but I didn't know I was

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going to be doing it, and I was terrified. And

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I'm about twelve years old, and I got up and

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I was so nervous that I actually kind of blacked

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out and did not remember actually singing the song. And

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I came to in spotlight to a standing ovation and

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what was and what I got out of and I

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got so I had this adrenaline rush of fear right beforehand,

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and then I had this rush of a orphans after

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from being from having done well, and unfortunately I wasn't

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there to experience it. But because I literally came to,

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I just went into a spot of just being in

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the song and singing. But what I learned from that

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was that there's not a correlation between fear and doing well,

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and if anything, especially when you're on stage or performing,

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I learned that that fear is actually an energy and

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it's just like having a very powerful horse, you know,

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you if you have the reins, it's actually energy. Because

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if I'm not nervous at all, I'm not going to

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be I'm not going to be animated at all, and

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I'm going to be boring. So I've learned over the

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end of my career has taken me through right version.

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I learned that early on, and I'm so grateful I

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learned that and had that wonderful, wonderful yet terrifying experience.

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How about you, Laura.

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I love that story, Jesslyn. Going from fear to endorphins.

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What a feeling for me. You know, I grew up

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with a stutter, and you know, speaking, I was just

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terrified of speaking. But I found so much solace in writing,

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even as a very young child. I think I was

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like five or six when I wrote my first little story.

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It was a little horror story. I think I always

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loved ghost stories since I was a little girl. And

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my mom she'd loved to write, and she had this

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old typewriter, and really she was the one I'm realizing,

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just really in this moment when you asked that question,

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that used to type out my stories. And I remember

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when the first time she typed it out and I

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held it in my hand and it felt like it

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had been published, even though she just pulled it from

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her typewriter. And you know, she really empowered me to

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be creative, to keep writing, because when I wrote, I

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found that I could express myself however I wanted. And

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it isn't like in speaking, where I had all these

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things in my head, but they would get stuck in

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my throat when I would try to speak them out.

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So I think, you know, it's my mom, who I

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actually just lost in the end of Mark And so

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I really when you asked that, I'm like, oh, yeah,

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I got I gotta honor mom. And the typewriter I

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have behind me is you know, it kind of reminds me,

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reminds me of her as well. I think that maybe

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that's why I've always loved typewriters and they never crash,

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you know, it's it's kind of great.

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Sorry for your loss. And at the same time, as

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you mentioned that, you know you're honoring her memory. So

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beautiful stories. So, Jocelyn, you went from taking that energy

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of fear and transforming it into power, and Laura, you

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took it in form of writing. And here's the thing.

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So many of us think that speaking is the only

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way to express your thoughts. So that showing up and

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empowering your voice can be through so many different mediums.

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It can be through writing, It can be thrown so

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many different phases. So that's very powerful. So, Laura, tell

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us a little bit about your life journey as to

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what were you interested in and how did you get

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to be where you're at.

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I love you know what Jocelin said too about being

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on stage being like the worst moment and the best

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moment at the same time. And I think eventually that

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happened for me. I even though I went through years

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of speech therapy to help me be a more fluid speaker,

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the feeling of just this shame and embarrassment and humiliation

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of being bullied for having a stutter, and just feeling

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like even into my adult years, you know, that really

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stayed with me. And every once in a while I

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would still get stuck on words and that made me

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feel like I was living, you know, this imposter kind

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of life. I wasn't really who I thought I was

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because I was always trying to hide that part of myself.

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And it wasn't until it was about fifteen years ago

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and I was in a staff training and was a

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teacher at the time. My son was just two years old.

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It was my first job back after being home with

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him for a bit. I really needed that job, and

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we were in a staff training going around the room

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introducing ourselves. You know, I saw that word that I

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dreaded so much on any agenda at work, which was introductions,

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because I knew exactly what that meant. I would have

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to speak in front of people, and anytime I was

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put on the spot like that for whatever reason, that

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it made it so much worse. Like I might be

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fine speaking in regular conversation, but in those kind of moments,

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I had a lot of anxiety around it. And as

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I got closer and closer for my turn to speak,

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I started having all these symptoms. I got really nauseous,

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I got dizzy, the severe back pain, and I didn't

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really know it then, but I was having a panic

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attack just from the thought of having to say my

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name and introduce myself. It was about two people before

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it was my turn, and I couldn't take it anymore.

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I got up and I ran into the bathroom and

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I ended up going home sick, but really I went

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home ashamed, And I remember telling myself that day, like

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looking in the mirror, just kind of hating myself and

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realizing something really has to change. It was exhausting, like

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to live in that kind of fear. It's true, its energy,

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but I had made that choice to make it be

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this villain, you know, this huge negative energy in my life.

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And then one day I'm walking by, you know, walking

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downtown walking by a little, you know, outdoor mall, and

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there's a flyer for a storytelling competition, and it was

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just one of these serendipitous moments where I happened to

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notice it, and forever reason, I was just like, I

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have to do that. I have to enter that competition,

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even though it was like the scary thing in the

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world for me. So I entered that storytelling competition and

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I found this place of refuge that I never would

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have expected, which was on a stage in front of

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a microphone, sharing my story. And I won that competition

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and that did boost my confidence. But really I think

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the most impactful thing that happened from that experience was

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everyone that came up to me afterwards and said, Oh,

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because of your vulnerability, you know, you sharing your story,

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I'm inspired to share mine. I'm going to get up

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there and do the same thing. And because I'd gone

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through years of training myself to speak and tell stories

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and a million techniques to overcome public speaking fear, I

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realized I kind of had this obligation then to help

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other people. And that's when I really started, you know,

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leaning into the idea of helping people, coaching people, getting

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up on more stages and becoming a speaker.

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And Jocelyn you said something just kind of picking up

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back from Laura La. You said that your fear compelled you, like,

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you know, you had those one of those moments and

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then you face the fear. So we're hearing one strategy

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right here that if you're facing the fear, face it,

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and then you found refuge on public stage and in

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public speaking. So which is very interesting. So coming back

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to you, Jocelyn, you've talked about fear, tell us like,

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what are the reasons behind the fear of public speaking?

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Oh, that's a great question. And I love this because

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I've studied. I've coached a lot of you know, executives,

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CEOs of large fortune companies and founders of startups on

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taking the stage. And I've i ran pr for two

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years in Silicon Valley where I also prepped people for

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just when I won interview is like with the Wall

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Street Journal or or local television shows and what happens,

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fear comes up, and so I've not only experienced it

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personally looked at overcoming it, but I've helped coach people

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through it. And I think so much of the fear is,

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of course fear of failure. And I think as human

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beings we straddle, you know, these these two sides of

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the coin. One is we want to fit in and

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the other is we want to stand out. And so

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I think that a lot of the fear is we

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want to stand out in a good way. When you

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stick your neck out, take a stage, take a mic,

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take a typewriter or a pen, you are putting yourself

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in the arena to stand out, and the fear of

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failing comes up. And also I work with a lot

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of people as a coach where it's actually a fear

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of success, and that's that's even a little more interesting.

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But I think that fundamentally the fear comes from fear

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that something negative is going to happen. And I'm a

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certified neurosculptor, which is a fancy way of saying that

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I've studied a lot of neuroscience and how our and

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you know, when we get into fight or flight in

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our mid brain or a freeze reaction, Like personally, I

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learned that I was a freezer. I would just you know, freeze.

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But when you freeze or want to you know, fight

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or flight, what you are no longer in your prefrontal cortex.

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Your higher level thinking, the one that has the positive

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outcome is looking strategically, is thinking about, you know, what

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you can add value to And what I learned that

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I think would be great for your listeners to know

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is you can only feed one part of your brain

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or the other. It's a toggle. And so if you

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want to get out of fight or flight, you just

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need to engage your prefrontal cortex, or if you want

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to get into your prefrontal cortex, you just need to

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calm down your fight or flight. It's like a teeter totter.

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And once you learn that and you realize, oh, the sugar,

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the prote everything that you're it's like a fuel pump,

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but you've only got one and you can easily start

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switching to being out of fear by your breath and

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I know Laura is really an expert at this as well,

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But by breathing, because when you're afraid, you're usually already

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in the future, like one minute from now, after I

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open my mouth, maybe I'll make a mistake an hour

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from now when the speech is over, maybe people won't

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think I'm good. If you can pull yourself back into

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the present moment, and go, well, right now I'm standing

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backstage or you know, I'm in zoom ready to go up,

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and you know, and you picture what it is that

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you want to be doing. What's your purpose? I created

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the clear method that I use for coaching because the

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first C is clarify and when you can get out

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of yourself and your own fear and start thinking what

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experience do I want the people who are going to

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hear me have?

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What where?

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You know? And it's bringing in your own form of

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service and it's bringing in your own your own mission

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and purpose into what you're there to deliver and being

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clear on what outcome you want. And when you focus

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on that and get into the present moment, into your

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body with your breath, the fear of one minute from now,

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one day from now, one hour from now goes away.

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You toggle it down and so you can really start

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playing with your brain almost in a gamifying way, and

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have fun with fear.

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Mm hm definitely. As you talked about the focus, and

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there is this myth about multitasking and that there are

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studies that have been shown so coming from a science background,

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I love knowing what new studies are coming out and

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that our brains can focus only on one task at

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a time. So, which fits in directly with what you're saying, Jocelyn,

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is that use the one that will give you the

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momentum to keep going and switch from that flight to

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being in fear and working through it. So, Laura, as

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we have talked about different fears and all that. So

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there are a lot of different people out there, whether

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they're executives, you know, whether you're in C suite, because

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it doesn't matter whether you're an incoming gen Z in

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the workforce, whether in an entreneur, whether you're a PTM mom,

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wherever you are at fear of public speaking is number

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one or number two right there. I don't remember exactly

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on the list of the fears. So somebody is just terrified.

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So Laura, from your experience, what are the first few

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steps that they can take that can ease them into

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public speaking?

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MM?

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Well too, I love that question and to kind of

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expand and what Jocelyn was saying about the importance of

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being present and having that clarity. You know, most people

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say that we need to break out of our comfort

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zone to grow, and what I say, especially when it

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comes to public speaking, is to get clear on what

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your comfort zone is because when we're in our comfort zones,

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we have that state of our relaxed brain. We can

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remember anything, we can recite poetry, We feel like we're

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our most authentic selves, and you know, we can be

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ourselves the minute that we say we're about to do

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this scary thing. And again it's so fear is so

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future based, so you know, based in that sense of

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dread because we don't really know what's going to happen, right,

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so we fear that so much. But when we tell

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ourselves we're breaking out of our comfort zone, I think

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it triggers that and our brains, you know, we get

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that nervous brain setting in where we can't remember our words,

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we blank out. All the nervous symptoms come up that

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we don't want when we're speaking. So one of the

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strategies that I use with my clients and with myself

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is to think about, Okay, how am I in my

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comfort zone and really sure what that is to you,

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whether it's being alone in nature in the woods or

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on your couch watching Netflix, or you know, whatever it

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is for you, and then come up with maybe at

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least three words that embody that feeling for you. You know,

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maybe it's peaceful, right and calm and relaxed, authentic, and

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set that as your intention before you're about to do

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the scary job, interview or take the stage, whatever it

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is that is coming up for you that you're a

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little anxious about. So instead of really breaking out of

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your comfort zone, you're staying in it, but you're expanding

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it out to include that scary thing you're about to do.

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And for me, when I stop telling myself I'm going

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to be you know, bold, kind of fake it till

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I make it and just force myself to break down

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my comfort zone and get up on that stage, I said,

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you know what, I'm just I'm just.

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Going to be me.

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I'm going to be relaxed, I'm going to be calm

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going into this. It was really a game changer for

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me and for those that I work with.

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M hmm.

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That definitely makes sense that having that calm, because when

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you're calm, you can see things clearly, and going back

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to what we have been talking about, that focus rather

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than even if you're focusing on future, rather than that

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you're going to fail, what if you succeed? So focusing

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on the positive and what that does is knowing that

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also one of the things that I've found, I do

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get the butterflies when I'm stepping on the stage, and

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then I'll just take a moment and think, like, you

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know what everybody puts on their pants, just likely everybody

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is eating, everybody's brushing their teeth, so you know what

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very human beings. And so what if I make a mistake.

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I make a mistake? And Lauren, really some good points

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are there, and Jocelin, like, you know, as you were

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talking about coming into that moment, what could people do

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to lean into it? So for example like yeah, how

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could they set the stage? Really like, Okay, I need

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to have a plan b that if I make a mistake,

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what I'll do. What advice could you give?

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Well, what I love about what you're talking about is

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you're you're touching on there's stress and there's U stress,

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EU S, t R, E S S and stress is

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the negative and that's like where the fear is you

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stress is excitement. So a quick there's a couple of

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quick hacks I think of right away that I've used

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and that I've helped you know in my coaching for

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other people to use is recognize is when you feel

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that fear before you're going on an interview or before

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you're going on a stage, you might be feeling afraid.

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But if you just recognize that feeling and go, oh,

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I'm excited. When you tell yourself you're excited, you realize

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that you're pumped up, you're not actually you know you're terrified,

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and you can actually your mindset really dictates a lot

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of how you behave. If you're reinforcing to yourself that

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you're afraid, you're going to start doing more behaviors of

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somebody who's afraid, you're actually you're actually kind of talking

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yourself into being afraid. Whereas if you tell yourself, I'm excited,

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I'm so excited to be here, that that really helps

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because you're telling your brain what that feeling is and

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being excited. Who wants to hear a bored speaker. You

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want to hear excited speakers because you want to hear

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people who are truly excited about what they're doing because

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they're inspiring and you know, and then you can have

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a transformational moment as a listener. So you want to

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be an excited speaker. So it's kind of that grab.

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That's how you can grab the reins of that of

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that horse I was talking about. And I think the

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other thing is one thing that has really helped me

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and has helped others. If when you get when you

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get extremely self conscious, you know, and you're like, oh

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am I wearing the right thing? Oh I shouldn't have

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worn these this out there, or I should have done this,

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I should have done that, you're focused on yourself and

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you're putting a negative spotlight on yourself. And when you

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instead just start thinking of what do I What experience

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do I want these people to have? What takeaway do

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I want them to have? What experience do I want

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to give them? You know, like maybe you're going to

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tell a story that's going to make them feel feelings

399
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or something, so you can keep it as simple or

400
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more orchestrated as you would like. But when you focus

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on the audience, even when you come on a stage,

402
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to look around and see the audience and connect with

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them and try to meet them where they are. When

404
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you're thinking about them, you're not thinking about yourself anymore.

405
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And I find that that fear just kind of melts.

406
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Away absolutely, because what you're doing is you're shifting the

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fear from I to we Yes, I to the value

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that you're providing. And going back to that why as

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to why is it that you're on that stage.

410
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Yes, yes, a lot of Yeah.

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A lot of people are out there. Yes, you know,

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speaking does take your message from one to many. Yes,

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it's getting your message out there. Yes, it might be

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building your brain. But at the end of the day,

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most of the speakers, when they're sitting foot on that stage,

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it is about providing value. It's about touching those people.

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It's about sharing your message. But even if you want

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to share your message, the key thing is why. Why why?

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And it is that desire to impact. It's that desire

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to connect. So I love that, Jocelyn, like you know

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when you're saying that, make that connection, make that shift.

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So now we have talked about addressing the fear. The

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second part of public speaking is the content itself. And

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you could show up with great enthusiasm, great energy. Now

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the next thing that you've got to do is the

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delivery that you're providing value to people. So Laura tell us,

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as somebody stepping onto the stage, usually they say, you know,

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keep one idea or so as far as the content

429
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is concerned, tell us some few frameworks or some guidelines

430
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that can help, whether it's a professional or anything depending.

431
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I mean, of course, if you're an executive, then you

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are sitting down and focusing on your audience, like who

433
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the audience is, what you're presenting, are you presenting the

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data or are you in conference?

435
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It all depends.

436
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But are there any elements that are crucial to any

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good public speaking speech.

438
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Absolutely, And the first thing I'd share is what not

439
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to do, which is wing it. Yeah, some place we

440
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see really gifted speakers and it seems like they're speaking

441
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off the cuff. But you know, I think it was

442
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Mark Twain that said, you know, it takes me weeks

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to prepare an impromptu speech. You know, you have to

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put that work in. And the model that I really

445
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love to start with though, to really clarify your message

446
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is called think feel do. So first it's what do

447
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I want my audience to think about? And then what

448
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do I want them to feel? I want them to

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be inspired or motivated? And lastly the do is that

450
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call to action. And the call to action could just

451
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be you know, a mindset change. You know, what you

452
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want them to, you know, take those thoughts to and

453
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turn it into some kind of action. But if I

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start with that, again, it's a reflection on the audience.

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I'm starting with them and not really me. And then

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if I can tie that to my key message that

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I love to share with the world, and I do

458
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think it's good to kind of boil it down to

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the essence of what this this one singular message is

460
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and then stick to that and tie in stories to that. Right,

461
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And the more that we can share stories and anecdotes

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00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:14.119
in crafting our speech, of course, the more connected and

463
00:26:14.279 --> 00:26:18.599
engaged our audiences is going to be. And then I'd

464
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:22.240
like to just also not take ourselves so seriously. I

465
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:24.880
think when we're doing a speech and really looking at it, it

466
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:28.799
feels like this this huge task and it's very very serious,

467
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:33.279
very important. But you know, adding some humor in, you know,

468
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:36.359
thinking about the audience, what's going to be relatable human

469
00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:42.720
or relatable to that particular audience is really important. And

470
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:46.400
so crafting that into to have some laugh moments in there,

471
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:49.359
no matter how dark your topic might be, I think

472
00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:50.359
is really important.

473
00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:55.160
Definitely humor does that, and there's nothing better than laughing

474
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:58.799
at yourself because then what it does is it forms

475
00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:02.799
that connection between you and the audience, because I don't

476
00:27:02.839 --> 00:27:06.359
know about y'all. I've had very many funny moments where

477
00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:09.480
I've done all sorts of things that happen just like

478
00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:12.640
not up to par, but then when I look at them,

479
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:16.799
they become such beautiful stories to be told. And usually

480
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:19.720
one of the things that I've found out for myself

481
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:22.160
and for my clients is that when you share a

482
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:27.759
story that shows your human being and that you make

483
00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:31.599
mistakes just like anybody else, it forms that bond and

484
00:27:31.640 --> 00:27:37.400
that connection. So Jocelyn, coming to you, as you have

485
00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:41.039
mentioned that, you know you have coached people in the

486
00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:43.799
executive arenas, so let's kind of go there. Like so

487
00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:47.519
many times what happens is in the executives or in

488
00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:51.079
the professional area, people are so stressed out because there's

489
00:27:51.119 --> 00:27:53.680
this data they have to go through tons and tons

490
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:56.440
of those slides and those can be very, very boring.

491
00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:01.640
So how can they bring those elements in their meetings

492
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:05.920
that not only they're influencing people, at the same time

493
00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:10.920
they're holding the attention and getting the point across and

494
00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:13.440
getting the buy it. I know that's a lot of

495
00:28:13.480 --> 00:28:14.400
asks here for you.

496
00:28:15.079 --> 00:28:18.599
No, that's great, and it reminds me. It reminds me

497
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:22.200
of a great lesson I learned through a forcing function.

498
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:26.960
I was presenting a multimillion dollar proposal to the executive

499
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:32.440
team at a large Silicon Valley company and I I

500
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:38.720
was given five minutes and two slides a budget, and

501
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:41.240
I had my whole deck that I had been shopping

502
00:28:41.319 --> 00:28:43.480
around to the you know, with the it and you

503
00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:47.119
know and all the marketing and sales, all the different groups,

504
00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:48.680
and it had all the data in there. And what

505
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.240
I learned from that was how to synthesize down. So

506
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:54.519
what I did, as I said, you know, and I

507
00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:58.279
followed a formula what what's the ask, what's the why?

508
00:28:58.759 --> 00:28:58.960
You know?

509
00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:01.920
And and you know? And then like a who and

510
00:29:01.960 --> 00:29:05.359
when kind of story because it was a proposal and

511
00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:08.920
a project. But what I did was I realized that

512
00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:13.160
my putting all these other slides about the benefits, what

513
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:15.880
our competitors are doing and all that stuff was my

514
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:20.640
wanting to overcompensate and justify why I was asking for

515
00:29:20.720 --> 00:29:24.599
what I was asking for. And so when you realize

516
00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:26.880
and so what I did was I put ten slides

517
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:30.880
in the appendix, and I came in and I said,

518
00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:34.000
here's the problem. Statement, you know current current view, and

519
00:29:34.039 --> 00:29:36.319
then here, but here's what we could have. I painted

520
00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:39.440
the picture of the nirvana state you know that we

521
00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:42.279
could have if we if we invested this time and

522
00:29:42.359 --> 00:29:45.519
money into doing this, and what the benefit was going

523
00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:48.279
to be to the customers and the company, and kept

524
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:50.960
it very simple and what because my tendency was I

525
00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:52.480
want to give them all the data and all the

526
00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:56.200
data to prove why you know this is a reasonable request.

527
00:29:56.599 --> 00:29:59.799
By having it all in the back, it actually made

528
00:29:59.799 --> 00:30:03.839
it such a more interesting conversation because it created a

529
00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:07.960
conversation instead of a monologue. Because guess what I got

530
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:10.720
forty five minutes at the executive team. They pushed other

531
00:30:10.759 --> 00:30:13.480
people out to the following week who were supposed to

532
00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:17.400
be behind me, And I went through all ten slides

533
00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:20.200
in the appendix, through the Q and A because an

534
00:30:20.200 --> 00:30:21.480
executive as well, what about this?

535
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:21.799
Yeah?

536
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:24.119
But what but the timing? Well, but what are our

537
00:30:24.119 --> 00:30:26.920
competitors doing? That was on slide five, That was on

538
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:30.359
slide twelve. I got to get through all my content

539
00:30:31.160 --> 00:30:34.559
because they wanted to see it. And I realized the

540
00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:41.119
power of having a presentation be a conversation. You put

541
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:45.279
up your the premise and the why and something compelling,

542
00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:48.319
and then you engage through question to the answers and

543
00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:51.920
nobody forgets your proposal or your project, and they become

544
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:55.440
advocates because they're bought in because they were asking you

545
00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:58.319
why you weren't pushing data up in front of them.

546
00:30:58.759 --> 00:31:01.000
Where they're sitting there thinking I need to get cat food,

547
00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.079
I want you know, I got to get to the gym.

548
00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:06.000
They are actually thinking, well, why this, why that? How

549
00:31:06.039 --> 00:31:09.279
would this work? And you're answering them. So the power

550
00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:14.160
of having short slides and a large appendix, a short ask,

551
00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:18.880
and a benefit a problem statement, and then having the

552
00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:21.319
recipe in the back. One of two things that's going

553
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:22.920
to happen. You're either going to have a much shorter

554
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:26.319
meeting or you're going to have a very longer meeting

555
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:29.400
with very rich content. Either way, you're still going to

556
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:32.960
be memorable. So it's a very powerful approach that I

557
00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:36.160
found mm hmm definitely.

558
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:42.799
And in the arena of the corporate world, what would

559
00:31:42.839 --> 00:31:45.599
you say are two to three elements that are necessary

560
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:49.799
when you're not present? Like the example you gave was

561
00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:54.359
about a proposal, but let's say they are starting out

562
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:56.240
with an initiative and they need to get a buy

563
00:31:56.319 --> 00:32:00.599
in from the stakeholders. Just go ahead.

564
00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:03.279
One thing I did that I like to do too,

565
00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:07.680
and I've helped other people in putting together presentations. You've

566
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:09.640
got different types of people in the audience. So again

567
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:12.720
back to the audience. You've got your data driven people,

568
00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:15.759
You've got your big picture people. So this is the

569
00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:18.160
kind of formula I used. I would do four slides

570
00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:21.599
that are key and very clear. There's a who slide,

571
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:25.839
there's a what slide, there's a why slide, and there's

572
00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:29.519
one slide. And literally, when I would pre shop any

573
00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:33.079
presentation to get some feedback, depending on who I was

574
00:32:33.079 --> 00:32:35.799
showing it to, I would give it, you know, like

575
00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:38.359
like our our CFO was more of a big picture

576
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:41.440
why person, So I started with the why with him,

577
00:32:41.519 --> 00:32:43.440
and then the what and then and when I would

578
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:45.160
show it to other people who were very in the

579
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:48.839
weeds about the schedule and the cost and the detail,

580
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:51.640
I would say that, you know, here's here's here's the

581
00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:54.240
here's the outcome. And I'm not talking about a proposal

582
00:32:54.359 --> 00:32:56.799
right now. I'm talking about like, Okay, here's a project status,

583
00:32:57.240 --> 00:32:59.960
here's a status, here's where we are this. They want

584
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:02.200
to know are we on schedule, on budget, so I

585
00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:05.799
get to that more quickly when I'm in a general

586
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:07.960
meeting with like let's say you're presenting to a lot

587
00:33:07.960 --> 00:33:10.519
of people, you have to put it in the right

588
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:12.640
order or flow. But I found that by breaking those

589
00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:16.400
slides and you get everybody's attention because you're giving everybody

590
00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:21.039
something instead of trying to appeal to everybody on every slide,

591
00:33:21.079 --> 00:33:23.559
You're not going to keep their attention. But if I'm

592
00:33:23.559 --> 00:33:25.440
a data person, I'm going to see that data and

593
00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:28.559
gravitate to your graph. If I'm the why big picture person,

594
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:32.400
I'm going to gravitate to that benefit if you know I.

595
00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:36.359
And so if you can give everybody something to be

596
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:40.319
engaged again that those are memorable moments and you're going

597
00:33:40.359 --> 00:33:44.240
to get all the different personality types and brain types

598
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:48.759
engaged and bought in to your presentation when you give

599
00:33:48.799 --> 00:33:51.960
them make their slide, you know, and it'll really sing to.

600
00:33:51.920 --> 00:34:01.839
Them definitely, And those principles as you talked about, and

601
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:07.000
adding that where those principles are uniformly spread across like

602
00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:09.760
whether you're talking like you know, creating that report, whether

603
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:12.599
it's technical writing, or whether you're doing that public speaking

604
00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:15.880
or creating a point across or doing an influence or

605
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:20.199
writing a book, And those are very powerful questions because

606
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:23.760
when they're used, you're thinking about the audience and it

607
00:34:23.800 --> 00:34:25.920
goes back to what we were talking in the beginning

608
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:30.679
of our conversation, shifting the focus from you to them

609
00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:32.280
and the value that you're delivering.

610
00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:33.280
Absolutely.

611
00:34:33.559 --> 00:34:38.639
Yes, So, Laura, now if we just talk about in

612
00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:43.920
the realm of as a universal public speaking, what would

613
00:34:43.960 --> 00:34:46.360
you say? Would be the questions? And it would be

614
00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:49.599
dependent on the audience, But what would be the questions

615
00:34:49.719 --> 00:34:52.280
or are there any other frameworks that our audience could

616
00:34:52.320 --> 00:34:54.280
take and implement them today?

617
00:34:55.079 --> 00:34:58.280
Yeah? Absolutely. You know, I think the beginning and the

618
00:34:58.400 --> 00:35:02.480
ending of your presentation, or you know, your conversation really

619
00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:05.360
that you're having with people is the most important. It's

620
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:07.599
kind of like, you know, you're the pilot of a

621
00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:10.400
plane and the takeoff in the landing. You know, that's

622
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:13.280
what people really care about. When you're up in the air.

623
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:15.280
You know, you can take a ticke, a little nap,

624
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:18.360
have some peanuts, whatever, But that the beginning and the

625
00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:21.119
end is so important. And I think a powerful way

626
00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:24.559
to begin a presentation can be with a question. I

627
00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:27.960
would say, what not to do is start your presentation

628
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:31.320
with what everyone expects, because again, you know, you want

629
00:35:31.360 --> 00:35:34.800
to capture everyone's attention right from the start, really hook

630
00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:38.320
and lure them, lure the audience in to to you know,

631
00:35:38.800 --> 00:35:42.000
alert them that you're going to be sharing something really

632
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:46.719
interesting with them. So a word that I'd love to

633
00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:48.800
start with and that I share with my clients is

634
00:35:49.079 --> 00:35:51.760
if you can think of the word imagine, like just

635
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.320
have the word imagine and then expand that out to include,

636
00:35:55.480 --> 00:35:57.599
you know, a theme of what your talk and your

637
00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:01.079
topic is going to be as your question, that could

638
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:04.880
be really powerful way to begin. So imagine if you know,

639
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:07.400
one day and then whatever it is, one day you're

640
00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:10.800
on stage and you're not feeling fear, you know, only

641
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:14.679
excitement or whatever whatever it is, we can't help it,

642
00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:17.880
our brains can't help it, start to visualize and answer

643
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:19.760
that question in our minds, so you kind of have

644
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:23.800
them hooked in Another way that I would love to begin,

645
00:36:24.119 --> 00:36:26.559
that's not quite a question, but it would be with

646
00:36:26.599 --> 00:36:29.920
a framework that I love of a story, and they

647
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:32.599
are really simple frameworks out there. One that I have

648
00:36:32.719 --> 00:36:35.840
in my book is, you know, just follows a very

649
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:39.119
simple story arc. But it's really just to fill in

650
00:36:39.159 --> 00:36:43.039
the blank. And what I love too about storytelling is

651
00:36:43.079 --> 00:36:45.960
we think there has to be something that really creative

652
00:36:46.039 --> 00:36:48.440
and we have to be writers are very creative people

653
00:36:48.440 --> 00:36:52.039
to tell good stories. But really it's very scientific and

654
00:36:52.119 --> 00:36:55.199
anyone can be a great storyteller. I given a presentation

655
00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:58.360
to some data scientists who gave a lot of talks

656
00:36:58.360 --> 00:37:01.840
and just wanted to be less bored. That was their words,

657
00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:05.320
and I taught them this simple framework. They all worked

658
00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:07.320
on it and came back and shared, and I'll never

659
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:13.079
forget this one one scientist and his framework filled in

660
00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:17.039
the framework and it started out once there was an algorithm,

661
00:37:17.639 --> 00:37:20.360
and the algorithm became the hero of his story, and

662
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:23.159
we're all so enthralled, like I couldn't wait to find

663
00:37:23.199 --> 00:37:26.559
out what happened to this algorithm, and it was just

664
00:37:26.639 --> 00:37:30.199
following this really simple framework. So I do think it's

665
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:33.239
you know, there are methods and things out there. You know,

666
00:37:33.239 --> 00:37:35.519
I have in my book all of the models and

667
00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:38.360
frameworks that I love. But if you can find a

668
00:37:38.440 --> 00:37:41.320
storytelling one that really works for you and come up

669
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:44.119
with some great questions, you're going to have in a

670
00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:45.559
much more engaged audience.

671
00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:50.639
M H. So Laura, you didn't mention about the ending.

672
00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:54.559
What are a couple of things that and you've also

673
00:37:54.599 --> 00:37:57.119
mentioned called to action before? What are a couple of

674
00:37:57.159 --> 00:37:59.599
things that people can end with?

675
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:00.559
Damn?

676
00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:02.880
This is one of my pet peeves with speakers. Sometimes

677
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:05.679
we tend to throw away the ending, you know, and

678
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:08.559
just like, well that's all I got, thanks, you know,

679
00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:11.599
and we've given this really powerful speech. But then that's

680
00:38:11.639 --> 00:38:14.639
what they're left with. So the ending, you really want

681
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:17.880
to wrap it up, maybe tie to the beginning, re

682
00:38:18.119 --> 00:38:20.559
ask that question and maybe they're going to answer it

683
00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:23.760
in a different way, but leave them with something really

684
00:38:23.840 --> 00:38:25.039
strong there at the end.

685
00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:25.559
You know.

686
00:38:25.599 --> 00:38:28.119
Another mistake that a lot of speakers make is we

687
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:31.760
end with the questions. So when you end with the questions,

688
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:34.199
you're kind of giving away some of your power with that.

689
00:38:34.679 --> 00:38:37.400
And I think questions can be really important, but stay

690
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:41.199
in control as the speaker, and you could say I'm

691
00:38:41.199 --> 00:38:43.760
going to spend you know, four or five minutes taking

692
00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:46.320
questions right now, and then I want to share with

693
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:49.719
you one last final message or you know, make sure

694
00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:51.920
it's like back to you, so you can end with

695
00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:55.039
that that call to action or that powerful statement to

696
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:58.159
remind them, you know, so it's top of mind as

697
00:38:58.239 --> 00:39:01.599
they're leaving, you know the impact of what you shared.

698
00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:07.199
Powerfol So there can our audience find you and connect

699
00:39:07.239 --> 00:39:08.559
with you.

700
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:11.000
You can go to my website which is the Speech

701
00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:15.079
Slayer dot com and there you can find my book.

702
00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:17.920
It's also on Amazon and Barnes Andnoble dot com. But

703
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:20.199
if you go to my website, I also offer just

704
00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:23.280
a free talk story call, and I'd love to just

705
00:39:23.320 --> 00:39:26.960
share some of my tips with any of your listeners

706
00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:30.000
that have an upcoming speech. I'm happy to just share

707
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:31.960
with them in that twenty minute some things that hopefully

708
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:35.760
they can walk away with and will help them.

709
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:39.599
Thank you, Thank you for sharing that. And Jocelyn, how

710
00:39:39.679 --> 00:39:42.119
can people connect with you?

711
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.159
So they can go to Joscelyn King dot com jo

712
00:39:46.280 --> 00:39:50.320
c E l y N King dot com and you

713
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:52.840
can sign up for a couple of things I have.

714
00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:59.920
I really love sharing the simple steps to get un

715
00:40:00.119 --> 00:40:03.599
stuck and live a life you love. And I also

716
00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:06.599
have a background in cybersecurity, so I sprinkle in some

717
00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:09.440
life safety tips because if you don't feel safe in

718
00:40:09.480 --> 00:40:13.400
what you're doing, you aren't going to be building, you know,

719
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:16.559
your dream life, So I do both at my site

720
00:40:16.599 --> 00:40:18.880
and love to have people sign up and I could share.

721
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:22.400
I love to put out free tips and free and

722
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:24.960
clear tips on my clear method, and I'd love to

723
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:27.800
have people engage with me and help them in any

724
00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:29.360
way I can well.

725
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:33.199
Fantastic, So as we bring the show to a close,

726
00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:37.519
do y'all have any last tips that you'd like to

727
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:38.519
share with her audience?

728
00:40:42.039 --> 00:40:46.639
Go ahead, lor okay, can go. My biggest tip is

729
00:40:46.679 --> 00:40:50.079
to know and realize that really what you fear will

730
00:40:50.119 --> 00:40:53.039
ultimately set you free. When you can really look at

731
00:40:53.079 --> 00:40:55.480
your fears and what they are, they can help direct

732
00:40:55.519 --> 00:40:58.079
you into what you need to work on in your life.

733
00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:02.000
And you know what stage is My await you and

734
00:41:02.039 --> 00:41:04.400
not let fear really get in your way, but see

735
00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:07.039
it as a friend that's going to be holding your hand,

736
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:09.760
leading you to where you need to be to not

737
00:41:09.760 --> 00:41:12.159
only change your own life, but change the lives of

738
00:41:12.199 --> 00:41:12.920
others as well.

739
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:17.960
That's great, beautiful, Yeah, go ahead, j Just I want

740
00:41:17.960 --> 00:41:23.480
to I'm going to actually focus on having your listeners

741
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:26.840
think about not just coming up with what they want

742
00:41:27.039 --> 00:41:29.320
in their life or what they want in their talk,

743
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:32.440
or what they want in their business, but actually envisioning

744
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:34.920
it one of the most powerful things I learned in

745
00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:38.199
studying our brains is that what you see with your

746
00:41:38.199 --> 00:41:41.960
eyes and what you imagine in the movie screen in

747
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:47.559
your head, there's no differentiation. And so that's why you

748
00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:52.400
can terrify yourself with a thought just almost maybe even

749
00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:54.440
more so than you might be scared of something that's

750
00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:57.840
actually happening in real life. And the power of that

751
00:41:58.559 --> 00:42:02.679
is that when you envision your own success, if you're

752
00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:05.159
about to, if you're doing something in your business or

753
00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:07.199
in your life, or you have any kind of a goal,

754
00:42:07.719 --> 00:42:10.880
maybe you get clear on what you want, You clarify

755
00:42:10.920 --> 00:42:13.400
what you want, you list out the actions you should do.

756
00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:17.400
But before you start doing something, envision your own success.

757
00:42:17.440 --> 00:42:20.679
That's why I made the e and clear envision before

758
00:42:20.719 --> 00:42:24.599
you execute, because when you envision your own success in

759
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:30.599
your talk, in your business conversation, in your personal life,

760
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:33.280
in whatever you want. When you envision your own success,

761
00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:37.559
your brain then works twenty four seven to help make

762
00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:40.119
sure that happens. So put your brain to work for you.

763
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:43.800
Let your brain do the multitasking in the background for you,

764
00:42:43.960 --> 00:42:47.840
so you can live the life you love and have

765
00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:50.880
every success in every area of your life that you

766
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:54.199
want so envision your own success, be your best advocate,

767
00:42:54.679 --> 00:42:59.199
and put your brain to work for you very powerful.

768
00:43:00.039 --> 00:43:03.440
Well, thank you, Jocelyn, and thank you Laura for joining us.

769
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:09.119
Your shared some very powerful tips that our listeners and

770
00:43:09.239 --> 00:43:12.280
audience can take it with them implement in their lives.

771
00:43:13.920 --> 00:43:16.559
Thank you so much. This has been so fun. I'm

772
00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:19.360
going to be going back to bed, but with lots

773
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:21.679
of good feelings of that, so thank you so much.

774
00:43:22.440 --> 00:43:25.039
Debia, thank you you have such a wonderful show and

775
00:43:25.079 --> 00:43:31.639
such great listeners. I love engaging with everybody. And Aloha to.

776
00:43:31.639 --> 00:43:35.960
Laura, thank you, thank you, Aloha, Helloha Laura you.

777
00:43:36.800 --> 00:43:41.480
Thank you again both of you, and thank you wonderful family,

778
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:44.840
because without you, the show would not be possible. Reach

779
00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:47.360
out to us, let us know how can we serve you,

780
00:43:47.519 --> 00:43:51.760
how we can support you, because the show is for you.

781
00:43:52.239 --> 00:43:55.039
It is so that you can live the life you want.

782
00:43:55.719 --> 00:43:59.119
It is so that you can have the joy and

783
00:43:59.239 --> 00:44:04.280
freedom and love that you deserve. And thank you one

784
00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:08.360
for making the show technically possible and we'll see you

785
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:11.400
next time. Be valuntike Care, thank.

786
00:44:11.239 --> 00:44:13.599
You for being part of Beyond Confidence with your host

787
00:44:13.840 --> 00:44:16.239
v Park, we hope you have learned more about how

788
00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:18.800
to start living the life you want. Each week on

789
00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:22.360
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced

790
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:26.599
growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During

791
00:44:26.599 --> 00:44:29.840
Beyond Confidence, Divpark shares what happened to her when she

792
00:44:29.920 --> 00:44:32.320
stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly with

793
00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:35.440
people across the globe. She not only coaches people how

794
00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:39.239
to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually

795
00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:42.800
beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life they want.

796
00:44:43.199 --> 00:44:45.079
If you are ready to live the life you want

797
00:44:45.239 --> 00:44:49.599
and leverage your strengths, learn more at www dot dvpark

798
00:44:49.679 --> 00:44:53.320
dot com and you can connect with vat contact at

799
00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:56.559
dvpark dot com. We look forward to you joining us

800
00:44:56.599 --> 00:44:57.159
next week.