April 1, 2025

From High Stress to Higher Purpose—Reinventing After Layoff

From High Stress to Higher Purpose—Reinventing After Layoff

A layoff isn’t an end—it’s a new beginning. In this episode of Beyond Confidence, Divya Parekh explores how to navigate career shifts with confidence. Learn how trusting your gut, shifting your mindset, and embracing AI can help you turn setbacks into...

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A layoff isn’t an end—it’s a new beginning. In this episode of Beyond Confidence, Divya Parekh explores how to navigate career shifts with confidence. Learn how trusting your gut, shifting your mindset, and embracing AI can help you turn setbacks into opportunities and build a career that truly fits you.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W four WN Radio.

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.

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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals?

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Well?

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Coming up on dvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real

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stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,

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shattered their satus quo, and are living the life they want.

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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving

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your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward

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does not have to happen at the expense of your

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personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at

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WWDS You don't divpark dot com and you can connect

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with Diva at contact Dance divpark dot com. This is

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beyond confidence and now here's your host div Park.

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Good morning listeners. I cannot share with you like you know,

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so thrilled to be here with you all and not

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going to read it out, but one of my clients

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sent me a handwritten note and yesterday I was having

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a little difficult day, so just you know, a few

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things happening, and then I opened up my mail, so

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I want to give a shout out to Sharon. And

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when I read her note, it reminded me of my

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why why I do what I do. It's to make

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a difference and make an impact on other people's life.

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So never underestimate your presence and who you can influence.

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So be sure to do that kind act whenever you

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get a chance, because you never know who might be

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needing that. Also, thank you for those who have purchased

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our books, and if you have not, we invite you

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to purchase a books. It helps us in three ways.

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It helps you, it helps to get the message out,

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and thirdly, it also helps us to share part of

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the profits at QA dot org. So let's bring in our.

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Guest welling, he good morning.

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So we start out with a moment in your childhood

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or youth where it was an event, a person, or

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something that left a positive mark on you. Do you

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recall a moment or a person like that?

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Absolutely I would. I would have to say my father,

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And in the moment I didn't realize what a positive

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effect he had on me. He was a very strong man.

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He lectured us a lot, and it wasn't until later

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in my life that I realized that was his way

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of showing us that he loved us. It was he

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was always telling us what to do and sitting us

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down and lecturing for hours about everything of how to

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change the oil in your car, to how to cut

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the grass, you name it. But he was he was

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imparting his wisdom, showing us he loved us the only

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way he knew how So it wasn't until I got

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to be quite a bit older that I had that

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kind of epiphany.

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And here's the thing. A lot of people think that

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the parents didn't do good by them, and I'm not

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saying they don't, but it's also to kind of keep

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in mind that sometimes their generation they don't even know that,

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like Okay, you know, we got a tell our kids,

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express our love for them, appreciate them. So then you

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kind of like, you know, when you're talking about that,

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then you know that it was his way of supporting you,

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making sure that you know, y'all would be successful in

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your life. And it sounds like you learned a lot

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of things from him.

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Oh boy did we. And I realized when after he

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passed away that all the things he taught us, he

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was doing that so when he was gone, we would

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know how to, you know, get a bat out of

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a house, change your oil, fix a leaky faucet, and

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all those practical things so we could be more self sufficient.

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Mm hmm. And those are such important skills to have, and.

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Especially that, Yeah, it is.

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It is And one thing I'll share with to you.

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There are some things like you know, my parents have

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passed away and I'll in Steve and I'll remember them

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quite often, like, huh, you know what my dad would

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say something like that. My mom would say something like that,

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I wish I had taken advantage of that opportunity. And

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that kind of brings us is It's time is a fessence.

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Time is so important, Like it's so important to respect time,

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and most of us don't do that. So I'm glad

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that you know you walked away with a lot of approaches.

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So as you grew up, tell me what were your interests?

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But did you want your life to go?

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You know, I didn't have a much of our family

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was a family that never went to college. You went

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to school and then you started working right away, and

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there was no grand master plan. So I just gravitated

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towards things that were put in front of me that

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I could turn into something. So I graduated high school

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and went to work the very next day and never

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working until I was let go for my job in

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twenty three. But I think, well, it wasn't an intentional path.

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What I learned was to be open to and picking

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up on things that started become easy to me, and

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that kind of my life and my direction just kind

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of evolved. So it wasn't said. It kind of had

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this evolution.

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And that has its own power because so many people

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have this set path, but there is no one size

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that fits all, and then there is no right path,

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the wrong path. It is whatever works for you, So

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it's very powerful. You said that I graduated and from

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very next day I went to work, and a lot of.

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A lot of.

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Younger generation would be hmm, there was no get time

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in between there, So tell us a little bit more

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about that. And it's important to have time for yourself

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as well. So what was it that made you transition

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that quickly and you didn't even think about taking any

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time off in between.

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I think it was fun. As we grew up in

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so I was born in the sixties and when you know,

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my formative years were in the seventies, and our family

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that we were just blue collar workers, and so you

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just worked hard every day and there was no thought

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of taking care of yourself. There was. It really didn't

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come into play. Your work was your life. So the

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part time job I had all through high school, as

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soon as I graduated high school, I just it was

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a natural progression, just walking right into that. And it

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was never a thought in my mind that there was

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something other out there for me, whether it was rest

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or whether it was the opportunity to go to college.

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It just wasn't even a thought.

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So given like you know, now you have had formation

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in the last century and this century, like you know,

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for people like you and I, what would you say,

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how could people bring that balance, like having that mindsetful

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work along with creating that balance between work and life.

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You know, there's so many people that say you have

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to have the work life balance, you have to have,

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and I the way I view it as you just

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have to have a life balance. And it's never going

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to be fifty to fifty, it's never going to be

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eighty twenty. It's one getting clear on your boundaries of

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what you can and cannot accept in your life and

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taking time and knowing that when you do need to

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break away and get quiet and kind of tune out

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what's going on, that's when that's when the magic happens. Honestly,

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I've gone through some kind of very stressful times in

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my life where I didn't give myself that that time

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and space, and it can. It looks different for everybody,

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and it's different phases in your life. It may look different.

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It may be, you know, getting away from the little

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kids when you're a young parent, but it may be

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personal connections with your girlfriends a little bit later in life.

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So that connection and that re energizing looks different based

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on where you are.

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M M. Yeah, And that's very powerful. What I like

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is when you mentioned about life balance, and it's very

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mature along the lines that I think, like you know,

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there is work life harmony because there may be a time.

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So for example, if you're an accountant and these three months,

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like when you're talking about January, February, March and April,

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you got to work it off because these are the

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high seasons. And as you mentioned that, it's just kind

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of finding that time. What you can what you cannot do.

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So actually, one of my clients is accountant and he

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decided to be in corporate and not have his own

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private practice and not go through that seasonal cycles. So

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that is really really critical, like knowing where are your boundaries,

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what are your priorities, and that really helps. So coming

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back to your journey, you mentioned that you know you

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stepped into that role, So tell us a little bit

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about your career journey.

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Tell you Alida, right, So you know, I coming out

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of taking that first job and growing and the first

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couple jobs in my life weren't They weren't super stressful.

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It was just learning who I was, what I was

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good at I worked for. I always had to have

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some kind of a purpose. The companies I had to

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work for I knew they had to do good and

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that kind of gave me this good sense of I

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was giving back, or you know, I was doing something

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that honored other people. But then as I got to

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a certain level, and at that point, I was going

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through a divorce, I had a six month old and

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a two year old, and then it kind of morphed

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in to Okay, this isn't just a job. This is

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I have to support my family as a single parent.

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And that that was a switch to say, Okay, I

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need to get more serious about dedicating myself to work

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so I can climb that ladder, so I can make

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more money. So I so and again at the time

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didn't realize it, but there was this since I was

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the one who initiated the separation, I kind of felt

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this guilt on myself that I didn't want my kids

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to want for anything because of my decision. So that's

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where I just started working more hours, climbing the ladder

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and just putting more and more pressure on myself. And

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at the time didn't realize it because I was so

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focused on earn, earn, earn, clime, climb, climb, and support

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the family. So that's kind of where that that whole

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the switch happened, and then I found myself in a

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company there was having some legal challenges that I needed

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to separate myself from because again I needed to be

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in a good environment during the day. And I took

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a job with a security company and I absolutely loved

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it because the purpose was there and that's the job

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I was at for twenty years, and that's amazing.

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So you mentioned about and there are a lot of parents

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or single parents, you know, whether there are men or women,

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you know, and single parenting is not that easy. So

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what were some of the lessons you learned from that

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time that you might tell some of our listeners who

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may be single parents right now. I'm raising young babies.

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You don't have to do it all yourself. Set the

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bar a little bit lower. I got super creative. That

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was a time in my life where I had to

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be super resourceful. I would go grocery shopping at lunchtime.

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Nowadays you can just order online and it's delive. But

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you had to get really resourceful and know that you

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didn't have to do it all. And at the time,

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I think one of the lessons in hindsight is I

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thought I was always kind of short changing my kids.

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Just keep in my head above water. But I focused

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on things that made me more resilient, and it actually

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taught them. I taught my kids how to be more

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resilient themselves. I didn't even realize it. I wasn't trying

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to do that. But later in life my kids have

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both said, you know, we could just kind of followed

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your lead, and we knew how to get ourselves up.

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We knew how to get ourselves breakfast, get ourselves off

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to school. I never had any of those issues because

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it was just the way of our family. And to

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not beat yourself up because and you can't compare yourself

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to the person next door because they have different resources

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and different priorities. So you just have to focus on all, right,

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is what's right in front of me that I need

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to get done, and it doesn't have to be perfect,

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never has to be perfect.

242
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I really like a couple of things that you pointed out.

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One was not to compare yourself with others, because you're

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not walking in anybody else's shoes. You're not there, you

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don't know, so now can you compare yourself with yourself? Sure?

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Like you mentioned about being resourceful and not being perfect.

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It's and also understanding that kids are resilient and sounds

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like you gave them love, you were there for them,

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and they grew up really well.

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And you know what's funny is when I grew up,

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my dad would lecture us and tell us, and we

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became resourceful because he told us and taught us. But

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I look back and I look at my kids. While

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I didn't sit and lecture them, they learned based off example.

255
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So I kind of started thinking, oh my gosh, it's

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kind of history repeating itself, but in a different way.

257
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You mentioned that you know, you enjoyed working with the

258
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security company, So tell us about your career over there

259
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and what was about it.

260
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So what I loved about that was and I started

261
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out kind of in a marketing creative realm, and it

262
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blossomed into the company that I worked for. I'll be

263
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a little careful here because I don't want to divulge

264
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too much about the company because there are things that

265
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they do that need to be kept under wraps. But

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we basically worked with law enforcement in high pressure situations,

267
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and I came in on the front end of that

268
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chapter in the company and I grew with it. So

269
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it went from this very narrow focus. Over the years,

270
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it took on more and more and more and more.

271
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So you kind of grew up with this product, with

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this service, and you got fully ingrained in it and

273
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had a stake in what was happening, and it was exciting.

274
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You were doing good. It was like you could go

275
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home and know that I had this impact and it

276
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felt great. And the more the bigger that got, the

277
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more you took on, the better you felt. Now, in hindsight,

278
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I realized I was starting to identify myself as the

279
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job and I kind of lost sense of me as

280
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a person. But it felt good.

281
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Because you were making an impact exactly. Yeah, so you

282
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were working in a very high pressure job and you

283
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know you have shed that there was something like, you know,

284
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a couple of your colleagues died in three weeks of

285
00:16:42.919 --> 00:16:44.399
each other. Tell us about that time.

286
00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:49.320
Right, Yeah, So my job was I oversaw a twenty

287
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four seven department, so you can never really shut off.

288
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You woke in the morning and it was stressful. You

289
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came in on a Monday and it was like you've

290
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been on vacation every single week. So it was a

291
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lot of a lot of volume, very high paced, and

292
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I had two of my peer colleagues. One was headed

293
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towards retirement within a few weeks and one was headed

294
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to retirement a few years and both of them passed

295
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passed away unexpectedly. We got the phone call about my

296
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first colleague and it was a punch to the gut,

297
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you know. It was like she was so close to

298
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retirement and you know, unexpectedly passed. And three weeks later,

299
00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:34.119
get another call and my other colleague all of a

300
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sudden passed away, you know, without any warning. And here

301
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:39.720
I was. I felt like I was last man standing.

302
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And when you kind of turned out, yeah, you looked left,

303
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you looked right, and you're like, oh my gosh. They're

304
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the hours and the pressure that I was working under

305
00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.160
as well, and the realization of okay, something's got to

306
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give something, And that's you never want to have that

307
00:17:57.559 --> 00:18:01.839
intense of a wake up call, but sometimes it just

308
00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:03.839
happens that way and you need to listen.

309
00:18:05.559 --> 00:18:08.599
And as a result of that bakeup call, what changes

310
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did you make in your life?

311
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So I thought I had almost eighteen years in with

312
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this company at that time. I loved what we did

313
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as a company, absolutely loved it. Thought I would I

314
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would retire from that company, but I knew that the

315
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:26.960
environment I was in the department I was in was

316
00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:29.839
just a pace and a stress that I couldn't get

317
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away from. So I jumped departments, thinking that I was

318
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:38.240
going to something that would give me more balance. But

319
00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:41.839
I realized in hindsight, I was equated to the movie

320
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The Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts, when she says, I

321
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:48.920
realized I wasn't running towards something, I was running away

322
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from something. And what I realized was I wasn't super

323
00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:56.559
excited about the next job I was taking within the company.

324
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I was more excited about getting away from the page

325
00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:02.799
and the pressure that I had been in for so long.

326
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And it just wasn't the right, the right situation. So

327
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I stuck it out for two years, and then it

328
00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:13.359
just wasn't the right, the right situation, so we we

329
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:14.400
ended up departing.

330
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Mm hmm. And so when you ended up departing the company,

331
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that's a huge change because as you mentioned that, you know,

332
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out of high school and right there, like, you know,

333
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:28.559
being in the workforce for so long.

334
00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:33.039
How did that send it to you? Oh? It was

335
00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:36.119
it was a gut punch. It was horrible because I

336
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:40.640
wasn't expecting the departure it happened. I think it needed

337
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:43.720
to happen. I had been toying in my mind with

338
00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:46.799
you know, I I probably should make a change, but

339
00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:49.119
I was scared to make a change, not having that

340
00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:53.160
college degree and being you know, so far into my career,

341
00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:57.920
knowing that, okay, I'm out of work. If I go

342
00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:00.440
back to the same type of work, I would be

343
00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:04.720
positioning myself against people much younger that have so much

344
00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:09.160
more college experience. They have college when I didn't, And

345
00:20:08.759 --> 00:20:11.480
it was really scary. It was very scary.

346
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Yeah, And here's the thing. A lot of people don't

347
00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:23.160
realize that experience is very important because so many times,

348
00:20:23.319 --> 00:20:25.880
even if you have had a good college degree, and

349
00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:27.440
when you go and look at the jobs, you know,

350
00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:30.079
there's sometimes any good jobs. I mean a lot of

351
00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:33.960
kids get hired directly from the colleges itself. Like now

352
00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:36.559
they're butt alumni programs and all that, But back then,

353
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:40.000
so many jobs you would take a look at it,

354
00:20:40.039 --> 00:20:43.720
they're requesting three years of experience, five years of experience,

355
00:20:43.799 --> 00:20:46.559
Like how do you get that? And one of the

356
00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:50.599
things I'll share is that I used to work for

357
00:20:50.759 --> 00:20:54.759
biopharmas you know, quite some time back in my previous life,

358
00:20:55.640 --> 00:21:04.000
and we had so many smart leaders who had not

359
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:06.400
gone to college, but who grew up in the company

360
00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:09.240
and then new and back and forth and had learned

361
00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:12.559
the nuances. And so the way I look at it

362
00:21:12.599 --> 00:21:18.079
is that, like you have gone through school of life, absolutely,

363
00:21:18.599 --> 00:21:20.279
what did you do with your fear?

364
00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:25.279
I sat in it first. I think there's a My

365
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:28.839
initial reaction was to try and hide it and laugh

366
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:32.839
through it, and it's done, like it didn't exist. But

367
00:21:34.279 --> 00:21:36.519
something I always tell myself is, you know a feeling

368
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:42.160
fully felt, it fades, so I had to kind of

369
00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:45.319
let it out. You can let it out, and in

370
00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:47.240
many different ways. Some people, you know, they go to

371
00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:50.079
a councilor or they talk to their spouse. I would

372
00:21:50.119 --> 00:21:52.960
go to my friend's house and brush horses for two

373
00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:56.119
hours and just kind of talk it through and hear

374
00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.960
myself talking, and that was my kind of It's very cathartic,

375
00:22:01.079 --> 00:22:03.240
and just talking about it over and over and playing

376
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:07.000
the worst case scenario game with myself and letting myself

377
00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:10.799
go to that place of Okay, what's the absolute worst

378
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:12.440
thing that could happen? And I would go to the

379
00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:15.200
place of I can never find a job again and

380
00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:17.079
no one will want to hire me, and I lose

381
00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:19.960
the house, I lose this, and I'm homeless. So I

382
00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:22.119
would let myself go there, and then i'd sit back

383
00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:24.960
and say, is that really going to happen? Yeah? Probably not,

384
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:28.440
But allowing myself to kind of go there and feel

385
00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:32.240
that was like, okay, and now I can I've dealt

386
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:34.240
with that, I've talked it through. Let's set that aside

387
00:22:34.279 --> 00:22:38.799
and get honest with myself about what could be next.

388
00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:42.440
And it was fantastic that you had that support. And

389
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.720
it's important to have that support in your life, whether

390
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:47.839
it's a friend or a counselor or whoever it is,

391
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:51.599
because when you're going through these tough times, as you mentioned,

392
00:22:51.640 --> 00:22:55.880
it's important to embrace those feelings, embrace those fears, and

393
00:22:55.880 --> 00:23:00.799
they're I'm just going to walk away any day, disappearance,

394
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:03.599
but you gotta sit through it, you gotta face it,

395
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:07.119
You've got to walk through the fire. So as you

396
00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:11.759
were facing your fears, how did you reinvent yourself and

397
00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:12.960
what direction did you take?

398
00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:17.240
Yeah, so I started once I dealt with all that fear,

399
00:23:17.319 --> 00:23:19.799
I started thinking Okay, I've done a lot of good

400
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.480
things over my career. And I started taking an inventory

401
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:26.480
of what are the things that I was super super

402
00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:29.559
good at, you know, and were where were the projects

403
00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:32.079
that I would lose track of time. I'd look up

404
00:23:32.119 --> 00:23:34.799
at the eight o'clock at night and I'm still at work,

405
00:23:34.799 --> 00:23:37.119
and someone picked up my kids for me. So I

406
00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:40.960
started getting serious on what were those things that I

407
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:43.720
did really well that made me special that people would

408
00:23:43.720 --> 00:23:46.519
come to me for for help. So I kind of

409
00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:49.440
wrote that down as one column, and then I was like, Okay, well,

410
00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:52.160
what are the things I love to do? And I

411
00:23:52.200 --> 00:23:55.559
started seeing these common themes through my life, and you know,

412
00:23:55.559 --> 00:23:57.720
I picked apart my different jobs about what did I

413
00:23:57.759 --> 00:24:00.240
love about that job? What I love about that job?

414
00:24:00.359 --> 00:24:05.680
And this theme of personal connection and learning from each other.

415
00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:09.759
Those were kind of the common themes I loved. I'm

416
00:24:09.799 --> 00:24:14.319
super curious, always asking people about what their problems were

417
00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:16.119
or how did they think or how did they end

418
00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:19.799
up where they ended up and kind of getting clear

419
00:24:19.880 --> 00:24:21.640
on those. And then I had to figure out, Okay,

420
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.440
what do I do with all of that? And I

421
00:24:24.519 --> 00:24:27.880
used some technology I used AI to help me get

422
00:24:27.880 --> 00:24:32.160
clear on that and offer up some different career suggestions

423
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:35.240
and ideas, and that's how I found my way into

424
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:40.640
career transition coaching. So I actually am doing what someone

425
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.759
helped me with when I got let go from my job.

426
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:46.799
I'm now doing that for others and it honors the

427
00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:49.920
themes that have been all through my life about learning

428
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:52.039
from each other and then paying it forward.

429
00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:57.119
Yeah, that's very powerful. So, Jen, something you mentioned was

430
00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:03.400
taking inventory and seeing the patents, because always what happens

431
00:25:03.480 --> 00:25:06.759
is not always. It's most of the times that I've

432
00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:09.599
seen with my clients, especially if they're laid off or

433
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:12.480
if they're looking to transition into another career, they feel

434
00:25:12.519 --> 00:25:17.039
that they don't have experience, and it is about knowing

435
00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:22.799
and having that inventory of transferable skills. So if somebody

436
00:25:22.839 --> 00:25:25.920
is looking to transition, what are the first few steps

437
00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:27.200
you would recommend that they take.

438
00:25:28.839 --> 00:25:33.440
Well, I think that that inventory is important, but it

439
00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:36.720
has to come once you've settled and let the dust settle.

440
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:39.160
I think the folks that get laid off and then

441
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:42.880
they immediately jump into what's my first action, they miss

442
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:47.839
the magic. I always it's the magic that happens when

443
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:51.400
you unplug, even if it's for two weeks to get

444
00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:54.279
let all that. There's so much that happens once you

445
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:56.680
get laid off, and trying to do both at one

446
00:25:56.720 --> 00:25:59.519
time does it doesn't help you at all. So do

447
00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:02.519
all your process stuff, but then get clear with yourself

448
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:04.319
and get I like to kind of get away from

449
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:08.119
my environment, kind of get away from the house, away

450
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:10.960
from everything that's normal, get a new environment, and just

451
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:14.440
sit down and walk, do a lot of walking, to

452
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:19.039
talk to yourself about what went well, what didn't go well.

453
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:22.880
And a lot of people say that, you know, well,

454
00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:26.039
my job is toxic, my boss is toxic. It was horrible,

455
00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:31.960
It was horrible, But there's a lot of there's a

456
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:36.839
lot of wisdom in how did I contribute to that environment?

457
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:40.799
And I think that that was in my case. I

458
00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:43.279
had to get very clear with those last two years

459
00:26:43.319 --> 00:26:47.319
when I changed departments. Was it great? No, absolutely not.

460
00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:50.920
But I realized that the piece that I contributed to

461
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:55.799
that and every situation that you're in it was okay.

462
00:26:56.359 --> 00:26:59.359
Had I put up different boundaries around the work I did,

463
00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:02.160
I probably would have been in a different position. So

464
00:27:02.359 --> 00:27:06.039
taking stock of how you contributed to that situation as well,

465
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:07.880
and then what do you want it to look like

466
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:12.599
going forward, because too many people jump into that job

467
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:17.880
search trying to shoehorn themselves into the next opportunity versus

468
00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:20.000
getting clear with what they're good at and what they

469
00:27:20.039 --> 00:27:23.720
love and having the job fit into that. And it's

470
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:26.039
kind of a reverse way of thinking about it. But

471
00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:29.880
I find the people I work with that take that

472
00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:33.160
approach end up a bit happier. In the end.

473
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:38.119
It makes sense because think about it, if you're jumping

474
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:41.599
straight into it your emotions and that's very even talking

475
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:45.759
about having that resilient mindset. Then if you start out

476
00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:48.720
with the right mindset, then you're looking at things objectively

477
00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:52.680
and one of the key things that pops out is

478
00:27:53.319 --> 00:27:57.880
directing it back towards yourself. Yes, situation outside is going

479
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:01.440
to be horrific, like you said, sometimes it can be

480
00:28:01.480 --> 00:28:07.759
a very toxic boss, but it's what could I like

481
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:10.160
you mentioned, you know, what did I contribute or what

482
00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:15.119
could I learn from that? So taking those lessons else,

483
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:17.480
you bring that perspective like Okay, what is it that

484
00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:20.880
I want to do next? So that's bringing that self

485
00:28:20.880 --> 00:28:25.480
accountability is a very very key piece because then it

486
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:29.079
allows you to even trust yourself. And you talk about

487
00:28:29.079 --> 00:28:31.200
trusting your gut tell us a bit more about that.

488
00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:35.720
Yeah, so where I ended up now, So I did

489
00:28:35.720 --> 00:28:37.960
pretty much one hundred and eighty degree change from what

490
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:40.519
I had been doing to what I'm doing now, And

491
00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:45.519
those some folks that were in a very kind and

492
00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:48.960
loving way asking if that was the right step, because

493
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:52.559
it was so different. And every time I had I

494
00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:56.759
had to realize that when folks would question my next choice,

495
00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:00.119
my next career for one reason or another, I had

496
00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:02.359
to realize that they were most of them were coming

497
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:06.680
from a place of concern and love, and that I

498
00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:10.039
had to thank them and push it to the side.

499
00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:13.839
And I just had. I kept coming back to that list,

500
00:29:13.880 --> 00:29:17.839
the inventory list, and the priorities, and I even went

501
00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:20.680
so far as to you know, there's an exercise about

502
00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:22.680
what are your big rocks? What are the most important

503
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:26.200
thing to you? And I'm a rock collector. Wherever I

504
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:28.720
go walking or the beach or vacation, I bring rocks back.

505
00:29:28.759 --> 00:29:33.119
And I put myself together a jar that has big rocks,

506
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:35.119
little rocks, and I have written on them what's most

507
00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:37.240
important to me, and I would keep it on my

508
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:39.720
desk and just refer back to it. You know, when

509
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:43.960
I was making decisions or considering different paths. I always

510
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:46.599
would look back and say, does that align with what

511
00:29:46.680 --> 00:29:49.720
I've already declared as the most important things? And if

512
00:29:49.720 --> 00:29:53.279
it doesn't, that I gave myself permission to set it

513
00:29:53.319 --> 00:29:56.319
aside and refocus on what was important to me, not

514
00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:56.960
someone else.

515
00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:02.799
Yeah. Visual reminders definitely get you going. And it's sometimes

516
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:06.079
what happens is we're working so much on automation, and

517
00:30:06.599 --> 00:30:10.519
brain does work on automation because brain is designed to

518
00:30:10.680 --> 00:30:14.599
just suffice, not optimize. So when you're doing that, I

519
00:30:14.720 --> 00:30:18.599
think that reminder can be so meaningful because you mentioned

520
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:22.880
that that walk walk, walk, so as you're walking and

521
00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:25.799
as you're picking up rocks and now there is a reminder,

522
00:30:25.880 --> 00:30:29.279
So there's it's almost a reinforcement of the decision or

523
00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:31.240
the conversation you had with yourself.

524
00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:37.519
Absolutely yeah, and a reminder of like, okay, trust yourself,

525
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:40.799
and yes, other people will come from a place of

526
00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:44.039
concern and love, and yet you're the one who's.

527
00:30:43.799 --> 00:30:47.279
Living your life. And you also mentioned that you took

528
00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:51.880
help of some AI, so let's talk about that, because

529
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:55.000
I can definitely say that there are a lot of

530
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:58.000
assessments that can help you with the career choices and

531
00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:01.519
all that. So what of tools did you use and

532
00:31:01.759 --> 00:31:03.599
if there a need that you would recommend.

533
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.839
Yeah, So primarily what I love to start out with

534
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:10.440
and what I did to myself. And I use this

535
00:31:10.519 --> 00:31:13.960
exercise with some other folks in transition that I work with.

536
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:17.359
Is I use that exercise that I did about priorities.

537
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:20.640
I said, what am I super good at? That's bucket

538
00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:23.359
number one. I put down three or four bullet points

539
00:31:23.359 --> 00:31:26.319
super specific about what I really enjoy doing. In the

540
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:29.039
second bucket, I put down what are the things that

541
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:32.559
so I'm super good? What do I really enjoy doing?

542
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:35.759
But then the third bucket has to do with priorities

543
00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:40.559
and values what's important to you from like for career transition.

544
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:42.559
There are some folks that say I want to stay

545
00:31:42.599 --> 00:31:45.599
in the pharma industry, or someone else may say I

546
00:31:45.640 --> 00:31:49.440
need I must work remotely because of whatever. But whatever's

547
00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:51.400
for me, I had to work for an ethical company,

548
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:54.279
something I felt good about giving back. So when I

549
00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:57.640
took all those buckets and I would leverage AI even

550
00:31:57.680 --> 00:32:01.599
like a chat g can tee and there is when

551
00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:03.400
you're working with it, you have to tell it who

552
00:32:03.440 --> 00:32:05.839
to be, you have to give it a persona first.

553
00:32:06.279 --> 00:32:08.400
If not, it's going to answer you as a generalist.

554
00:32:08.519 --> 00:32:11.160
So I always tell my folks to start off with

555
00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:14.640
a good persona. Is you're a career transition consultant or

556
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:17.720
you're a career coach, you've got twenty years experience, give

557
00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:21.519
me ten jobs or titles that leverage the following, and

558
00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:23.480
you can copy in your three buckets. And then I

559
00:32:23.519 --> 00:32:26.880
always also tell folks to type in, you know, ask

560
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:30.079
me any questions for clarity before you begin, because then

561
00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:35.960
you're asking the AI bot to refine your request before

562
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:39.519
it answers. And if the more specific you are about

563
00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:43.519
your three buckets, the better response you're going to get.

564
00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:46.720
And it could be something that's totally out of left

565
00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:49.119
field that you never even thought about. And the beauty

566
00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:53.279
about using AI is it's very simple to grab the

567
00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:57.000
second result from the list and say, dig in, tell

568
00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:00.240
me more about that career, and then dig into what

569
00:33:00.359 --> 00:33:04.000
companies hire that type of career, what skills are needed.

570
00:33:04.079 --> 00:33:07.599
So it's a great kind of intentional bunny trail, if

571
00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:09.799
you will, where you start with one idea and you

572
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:13.799
could just keep digging deeper and deeper. It's been super,

573
00:33:13.880 --> 00:33:15.960
super helpful for a lot of folks that I've worked in.

574
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:21.599
Oh. Absolutely, And rather than considering a as your enemy,

575
00:33:21.640 --> 00:33:25.200
you know, you can use it as your executive assistant.

576
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:28.160
I mean, it can be your team, make it work

577
00:33:28.200 --> 00:33:35.559
for you. So, in your experience as a career transition coach,

578
00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:39.319
what are some of the teams that people like you

579
00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:41.839
know who have been successful in lending their jobs versus

580
00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:45.039
people who have struggled in lending their jobs.

581
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:50.359
Yeah. So the folks that I find that are successful quicker,

582
00:33:50.400 --> 00:33:53.759
I call them landing when they land in their next opportunity.

583
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:58.519
Quicker is one They're open minded, They're open to talking

584
00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:01.759
to people, and I think networking gets a really bad

585
00:34:01.799 --> 00:34:04.680
wrap these days because folks are very narrow minded on

586
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:07.400
what that means. And it's honestly, it's just a connection.

587
00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:11.480
I call it connect working. You're connecting with people on

588
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:16.440
It can even be just a random conversation. But that's

589
00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:20.159
so important is being open minded on declaring what you

590
00:34:20.280 --> 00:34:23.119
want and why you want it, but being open to

591
00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:26.199
how that happens. And then it's through conversations a lot

592
00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:31.119
of times that opportunities will surface that you aren't expecting

593
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:34.719
and giving running down that road at least far enough

594
00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:37.519
to rule it in or rule it out. So many

595
00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:41.440
folks that I find don't land quickly or they end

596
00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:44.320
up somewhere that they're not happy. Is they have their

597
00:34:44.360 --> 00:34:48.639
specific endpoint in mind and they're not open to any

598
00:34:48.679 --> 00:34:53.639
other opportunities, so you know again, and they're not willing

599
00:34:53.679 --> 00:34:57.199
to talk to people and have those curious conversations. So

600
00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:00.519
it's super important these days. You're not asking for a job,

601
00:35:00.559 --> 00:35:05.000
you just asking for connection and letting the jobs will come.

602
00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:07.480
The jobs will come. But is that connection that you

603
00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:07.960
need to have.

604
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:12.639
Absolutely, And that's such a powerful thing because at the

605
00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:15.559
end of the day, it is still people hiring people.

606
00:35:15.639 --> 00:35:19.039
And in my experience, what I've seen is that when

607
00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:21.639
you have warm connections, you can reach out to them.

608
00:35:21.719 --> 00:35:25.199
They're happy to introduce you to other people, they're happy

609
00:35:25.239 --> 00:35:28.079
to recommend you or even learning, like you know what

610
00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:32.119
the company's like, or even learning as to what their

611
00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:35.039
experience is if that's the job that you want to pursue.

612
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:43.000
Networking can bring so many valuable assets and relationships. I mean,

613
00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:46.199
for me, relationships are iceless.

614
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:49.519
Yeah, And I like to I like to tell when

615
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:52.480
I'm talking to FoST especially introverts who are really afraid

616
00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:55.840
of making connections. I always tell I call it the

617
00:35:55.880 --> 00:35:58.800
Safari strategy. You never want to go with them directly

618
00:35:58.920 --> 00:36:01.880
right right. I met people from the side, and that

619
00:36:02.039 --> 00:36:04.960
means don't always make it just about a job, and

620
00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:07.800
I have to network with three people. If there's someone

621
00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:10.960
in your sphere, find something that you can feed them,

622
00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:14.639
because it's all about give and take. So find a podcast,

623
00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:17.599
find a ted talk, find an article that you can

624
00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:20.159
send over to him and say, hey, I just tripped

625
00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:22.320
across this ted talk. You were the first person I

626
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:25.239
thought of, wonder how you're doing. Can we catch up

627
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:27.880
sometime in the next two weeks, because then you're making

628
00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:30.280
about a thing, you're not making it about you, and

629
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:34.519
you're not asking for something you're giving, and then it'll

630
00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:35.320
come back around.

631
00:36:36.199 --> 00:36:40.800
Absolutely some great pointers there, So Jen share with us.

632
00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:44.840
You know where people can connect with you. What do

633
00:36:44.880 --> 00:36:50.079
you offer if you have any books? Everything about yourself?

634
00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:55.440
Sure? Absolutely well. My website is Jendashford dot com and

635
00:36:55.679 --> 00:36:59.360
I have started since I did get let go from

636
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:02.360
that position. I also started a book series. It's called

637
00:37:02.360 --> 00:37:05.039
the Wisdom and Warnings book Series, and in the past

638
00:37:05.119 --> 00:37:08.159
nine months I've published four books. Right off the bat

639
00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:10.719
and It is from a collection of over my life,

640
00:37:10.760 --> 00:37:15.800
those curious conversations talking to people, gathering all this wisdom,

641
00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:18.320
and then I've kind of curated all that into different

642
00:37:18.360 --> 00:37:21.960
life milestone categories. So I've put together a book on

643
00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:25.559
from Divorce, Mess to Happiness all the lessons learned about

644
00:37:25.639 --> 00:37:28.519
that season. And also I just put out a book

645
00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:31.960
Tips from the Quad, all the wisdom about that. You

646
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:34.840
didn't did you want to give your kids about going

647
00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:37.880
to college? But they're going to roll the rize. So yes,

648
00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:41.039
I've started this Wisdom and Warning book series and then

649
00:37:41.079 --> 00:37:42.920
some career coaching and you can find all that at

650
00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:44.239
gendashboard dot com.

651
00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:47.079
And where can people find your books.

652
00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:51.000
You can find them on Amazon and you can just

653
00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:53.920
search Wisdom and Warnings or off my website. They're all linked.

654
00:37:54.559 --> 00:37:58.719
Okay, fantastic. Any last words, any last words.

655
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:03.840
You'd like to thoughts is be kind to yourself, give

656
00:38:03.880 --> 00:38:09.159
yourself some grace, trust your gut, declare your why. I

657
00:38:09.159 --> 00:38:11.039
think you were talking about your why in the in

658
00:38:11.079 --> 00:38:13.760
the very beginning of this episode. Getting clear on your

659
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:17.000
why and then your next step. They're going to unfold

660
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:20.559
as you as you walk. It's just be kind to yourself.

661
00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:25.599
Yes, that's a beautiful way to circle it back. Be

662
00:38:25.719 --> 00:38:31.800
kind to yourself and thank you Jen for being with

663
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:35.360
us and sharing your wisdom so openly, and.

664
00:38:36.719 --> 00:38:38.639
Thanks for having me. I greatly appreciated it.

665
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:43.400
Keep making the difference that you're making and I'm sure

666
00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:45.079
a lot of people are going to benefit from you.

667
00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:46.920
Fantastic you too.

668
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:51.159
Thank you, Thank you well, Thank you wonderful audience for

669
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:53.480
being with us, because without you, this show would not

670
00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:56.320
be possible to reach out to us. Let us know

671
00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:59.159
how we can serve you and support you in your life, Johnny,

672
00:38:59.199 --> 00:39:02.800
so that you can live the life you deserve. And

673
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:05.239
thank you one for making the show technically impossible.

674
00:39:06.199 --> 00:39:08.599
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your

675
00:39:08.599 --> 00:39:11.280
host Via Park, we hope you have learned more about

676
00:39:11.280 --> 00:39:13.920
how to start living the life you want. Each week

677
00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:17.000
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've

678
00:39:17.039 --> 00:39:21.199
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.

679
00:39:21.559 --> 00:39:24.960
During Beyond Confidence, Divapark shares what happened to her when

680
00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:27.400
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly

681
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:30.480
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people

682
00:39:30.519 --> 00:39:34.000
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to

683
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:37.440
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life

684
00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:39.880
they want. If you are ready to live the life

685
00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:43.599
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www

686
00:39:43.679 --> 00:39:47.599
dot dvpark dot com and you can connect with dvat

687
00:39:47.639 --> 00:39:51.159
contact at dvapark dot com. We look forward to you

688
00:39:51.280 --> 00:39:52.360
joining us next week