WEBVTT
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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
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those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
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W four WN Radio.
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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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and financial goals?
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Well?
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Coming up on dvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
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stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,
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shattered their satus quo, and are living the life they want.
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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving
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your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward
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does not have to happen at the expense of your
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personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at
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WWDS You don't divpark dot com and you can connect
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with Diva at contact Dance divpark dot com. This is
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beyond confidence and now here's your host div Park.
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Good morning listeners. I cannot share with you like you know,
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so thrilled to be here with you all and not
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going to read it out, but one of my clients
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sent me a handwritten note and yesterday I was having
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a little difficult day, so just you know, a few
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things happening, and then I opened up my mail, so
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I want to give a shout out to Sharon. And
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when I read her note, it reminded me of my
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why why I do what I do. It's to make
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a difference and make an impact on other people's life.
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So never underestimate your presence and who you can influence.
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So be sure to do that kind act whenever you
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get a chance, because you never know who might be
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needing that. Also, thank you for those who have purchased
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our books, and if you have not, we invite you
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to purchase a books. It helps us in three ways.
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It helps you, it helps to get the message out,
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and thirdly, it also helps us to share part of
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the profits at QA dot org. So let's bring in our.
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Guest welling, he good morning.
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So we start out with a moment in your childhood
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or youth where it was an event, a person, or
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something that left a positive mark on you. Do you
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recall a moment or a person like that?
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Absolutely I would. I would have to say my father,
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And in the moment I didn't realize what a positive
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effect he had on me. He was a very strong man.
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He lectured us a lot, and it wasn't until later
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in my life that I realized that was his way
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of showing us that he loved us. It was he
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was always telling us what to do and sitting us
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down and lecturing for hours about everything of how to
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change the oil in your car, to how to cut
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the grass, you name it. But he was he was
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imparting his wisdom, showing us he loved us the only
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way he knew how So it wasn't until I got
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to be quite a bit older that I had that
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kind of epiphany.
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And here's the thing. A lot of people think that
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the parents didn't do good by them, and I'm not
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saying they don't, but it's also to kind of keep
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in mind that sometimes their generation they don't even know that,
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like Okay, you know, we got a tell our kids,
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express our love for them, appreciate them. So then you
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kind of like, you know, when you're talking about that,
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then you know that it was his way of supporting you,
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making sure that you know, y'all would be successful in
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your life. And it sounds like you learned a lot
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of things from him.
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Oh boy did we. And I realized when after he
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passed away that all the things he taught us, he
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was doing that so when he was gone, we would
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know how to, you know, get a bat out of
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a house, change your oil, fix a leaky faucet, and
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all those practical things so we could be more self sufficient.
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Mm hmm. And those are such important skills to have, and.
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Especially that, Yeah, it is.
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It is And one thing I'll share with to you.
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There are some things like you know, my parents have
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passed away and I'll in Steve and I'll remember them
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quite often, like, huh, you know what my dad would
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say something like that. My mom would say something like that,
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I wish I had taken advantage of that opportunity. And
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that kind of brings us is It's time is a fessence.
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Time is so important, Like it's so important to respect time,
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and most of us don't do that. So I'm glad
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that you know you walked away with a lot of approaches.
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So as you grew up, tell me what were your interests?
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But did you want your life to go?
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You know, I didn't have a much of our family
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was a family that never went to college. You went
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to school and then you started working right away, and
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there was no grand master plan. So I just gravitated
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towards things that were put in front of me that
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I could turn into something. So I graduated high school
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and went to work the very next day and never
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working until I was let go for my job in
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twenty three. But I think, well, it wasn't an intentional path.
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What I learned was to be open to and picking
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up on things that started become easy to me, and
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that kind of my life and my direction just kind
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of evolved. So it wasn't said. It kind of had
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this evolution.
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And that has its own power because so many people
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have this set path, but there is no one size
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that fits all, and then there is no right path,
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the wrong path. It is whatever works for you, So
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it's very powerful. You said that I graduated and from
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very next day I went to work, and a lot of.
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A lot of.
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Younger generation would be hmm, there was no get time
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in between there, So tell us a little bit more
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about that. And it's important to have time for yourself
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as well. So what was it that made you transition
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that quickly and you didn't even think about taking any
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time off in between.
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I think it was fun. As we grew up in
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so I was born in the sixties and when you know,
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my formative years were in the seventies, and our family
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that we were just blue collar workers, and so you
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just worked hard every day and there was no thought
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of taking care of yourself. There was. It really didn't
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come into play. Your work was your life. So the
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part time job I had all through high school, as
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soon as I graduated high school, I just it was
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a natural progression, just walking right into that. And it
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was never a thought in my mind that there was
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something other out there for me, whether it was rest
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or whether it was the opportunity to go to college.
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It just wasn't even a thought.
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So given like you know, now you have had formation
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in the last century and this century, like you know,
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for people like you and I, what would you say,
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how could people bring that balance, like having that mindsetful
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work along with creating that balance between work and life.
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You know, there's so many people that say you have
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to have the work life balance, you have to have,
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and I the way I view it as you just
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have to have a life balance. And it's never going
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to be fifty to fifty, it's never going to be
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eighty twenty. It's one getting clear on your boundaries of
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what you can and cannot accept in your life and
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taking time and knowing that when you do need to
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break away and get quiet and kind of tune out
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what's going on, that's when that's when the magic happens. Honestly,
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I've gone through some kind of very stressful times in
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my life where I didn't give myself that that time
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and space, and it can. It looks different for everybody,
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and it's different phases in your life. It may look different.
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It may be, you know, getting away from the little
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kids when you're a young parent, but it may be
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personal connections with your girlfriends a little bit later in life.
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So that connection and that re energizing looks different based
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on where you are.
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M M. Yeah, And that's very powerful. What I like
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is when you mentioned about life balance, and it's very
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mature along the lines that I think, like you know,
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there is work life harmony because there may be a time.
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So for example, if you're an accountant and these three months,
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like when you're talking about January, February, March and April,
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you got to work it off because these are the
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high seasons. And as you mentioned that, it's just kind
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of finding that time. What you can what you cannot do.
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So actually, one of my clients is accountant and he
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decided to be in corporate and not have his own
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private practice and not go through that seasonal cycles. So
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that is really really critical, like knowing where are your boundaries,
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what are your priorities, and that really helps. So coming
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back to your journey, you mentioned that you know you
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stepped into that role, So tell us a little bit
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about your career journey.
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Tell you Alida, right, So you know, I coming out
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of taking that first job and growing and the first
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couple jobs in my life weren't They weren't super stressful.
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It was just learning who I was, what I was
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good at I worked for. I always had to have
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some kind of a purpose. The companies I had to
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work for I knew they had to do good and
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that kind of gave me this good sense of I
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was giving back, or you know, I was doing something
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that honored other people. But then as I got to
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a certain level, and at that point, I was going
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through a divorce, I had a six month old and
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a two year old, and then it kind of morphed
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in to Okay, this isn't just a job. This is
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I have to support my family as a single parent.
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And that that was a switch to say, Okay, I
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need to get more serious about dedicating myself to work
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so I can climb that ladder, so I can make
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more money. So I so and again at the time
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didn't realize it, but there was this since I was
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the one who initiated the separation, I kind of felt
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this guilt on myself that I didn't want my kids
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to want for anything because of my decision. So that's
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where I just started working more hours, climbing the ladder
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and just putting more and more pressure on myself. And
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at the time didn't realize it because I was so
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focused on earn, earn, earn, clime, climb, climb, and support
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the family. So that's kind of where that that whole
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the switch happened, and then I found myself in a
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company there was having some legal challenges that I needed
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to separate myself from because again I needed to be
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in a good environment during the day. And I took
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a job with a security company and I absolutely loved
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it because the purpose was there and that's the job
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I was at for twenty years, and that's amazing.
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So you mentioned about and there are a lot of parents
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or single parents, you know, whether there are men or women,
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you know, and single parenting is not that easy. So
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what were some of the lessons you learned from that
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time that you might tell some of our listeners who
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may be single parents right now. I'm raising young babies.
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You don't have to do it all yourself. Set the
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bar a little bit lower. I got super creative. That
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was a time in my life where I had to
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be super resourceful. I would go grocery shopping at lunchtime.
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Nowadays you can just order online and it's delive. But
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you had to get really resourceful and know that you
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didn't have to do it all. And at the time,
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I think one of the lessons in hindsight is I
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thought I was always kind of short changing my kids.
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Just keep in my head above water. But I focused
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on things that made me more resilient, and it actually
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taught them. I taught my kids how to be more
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resilient themselves. I didn't even realize it. I wasn't trying
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to do that. But later in life my kids have
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both said, you know, we could just kind of followed
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your lead, and we knew how to get ourselves up.
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We knew how to get ourselves breakfast, get ourselves off
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to school. I never had any of those issues because
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it was just the way of our family. And to
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not beat yourself up because and you can't compare yourself
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to the person next door because they have different resources
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and different priorities. So you just have to focus on all, right,
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is what's right in front of me that I need
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to get done, and it doesn't have to be perfect,
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never has to be perfect.
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I really like a couple of things that you pointed out.
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One was not to compare yourself with others, because you're