Nov. 19, 2024
Leading Like a Navy SEAL
Join Divya Parekh and former Navy SEAL Christopher Lee Maher to explore what it takes to lead like a SEAL. Discover elite principles like mental toughness, resilience, and high-stakes decision-making, broken down for business, coaching, and personal...
Join Divya Parekh and former Navy SEAL Christopher Lee Maher to explore what it takes to lead like a SEAL. Discover elite principles like mental toughness, resilience, and high-stakes decision-making, broken down for business, coaching, and personal growth. Learn how to build an unstoppable mindset, inspire others, and thrive under pressure. Tune in for actionable insights and lead with purpose!
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WEBVTT
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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not
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those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.
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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should
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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
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W four WN Radio.
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This is Beyond Confidence with your host w park. Do
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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you
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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
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who have stepped into discomfort, shatered their satus quo, and
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are living the life they want. You will learn how
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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
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at the expense of your personal or family life or
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vice versa. Learn more at www Don't divpork dot com
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and you can connect with div ants contact Dants dvpark
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dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host,
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div Park.
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Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and I'm excited to be
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here with y'all. So I want to share a kind
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of story. So I usually walk at a nearby trail,
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beautiful trail, especially with autumn being here and during the fall,
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like in all the leaves have fallen, and then there
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are those some of those trees which have some of
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those leaves just kind of hanging out there and all
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that beautiful colors. So one of my neighbors, you know,
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I did not know she was my neighbor. So usually
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I'm not sure about y'all. But like you have like
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trail bodies, trail bodies in the sense that you see
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some people quite often and you wave with them, which
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them good morning. And similarly, this is one of the persons.
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Her name is Ina, beautiful person you know, wave goodbye
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and same morning and say have a good day and
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all of that good stuff. And today she stopped by
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and she told me she was so thrilled to share
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that she's one of my neighbors. And I didn't even know,
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and just the joy on her face that she had
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made the connection just made my day. So think about it.
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Bring that kindness to people. Just taking a moment, taking
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a minute and making that connection can go such a
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long way. I was delighted in the morning and it
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just made for a beautiful, beautiful start to the day.
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And I want to thank each and every one of
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you who have got Her books. We have several books,
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but especially we recommend the Entrepreneur's got In and Expert
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Influencer because those books will provide you with a lot
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of value. Not only that, as you purchase those it
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helps our listeners as well because some of our listeners
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are from qyo dot org and we share partial proceeds
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from that with q dot org. So think you think
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you thank you, and also just want to share I
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am in the process of writing another book, so I'll
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be sharing more about that as time passes. And let's
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bring in our guest.
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Welcome Christopher, thank you, and good morning.
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Good morning, and I want to thank you for your
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services because it's because of heroes like you that we
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celebrate our freedom and we have this beautiful country where
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we have the democracy. So Christopher we get started from
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childhood and do you remember a moment or a person
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that left a positive mark on you.
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Yes, mister bub Aikins was I went to boarding school
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growing up, the Milton Nursery School, and had a house parent.
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His name was Bob Akins, and Bub basically taught me
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that there's no need to complain. And I went up
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to him and I said, Hey, I don't really like
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doing this job that you had me doing it. It
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was buffing the laundry room floor. He was like, well,
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guess what. You're not here to like things. You're here
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just to get things done. Everyone has a job here
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and you have to control. And I was like, oh,
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oh okay. Basically, stop complaining and add value to the
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people that are around you, and everyone's responsible for their
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share of this collective experience.
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That's such a powerful story, and I'm sure that a
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lot of our listeners are going to be scratching their
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head and thinking, Christopher, the question that's probably coming to
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everybody's minds, because I don't know about you. Sometimes, at
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least including myself, I've heard a lot of people people
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saying that if the weather gets too hot, oh it's hot.
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If it gets too cold. We say it's too cold,
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So not sure if that would fall in the complaining category,
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or I hear people complaining about things everywhere like it's
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almost it has become a part of our social fabric.
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So what would you say to our listeners.
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I would say that I think the thing that bub
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was trying to get me to understand is because he
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was a cook. He was an army chef. You know,
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you can imagine it's always hot in the kitchen, right right.
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You know, when he was making food, he was making
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food for hundreds or thousands of people, So I'm sure
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his muscles were always tired, he was always sore, it
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was always hot, he was probably always dehydrated. And I
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think what he was getting me to understand is that
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there's many cooks in his kitchen, all working together, and
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if you get into the business of complaining, you're going
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to be bringing everyone else's mood down.
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Mm hmm.
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So be mindful of your audience because we have to
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keep everyone's spirits high. And you know, there's an old adage,
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if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say
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anything at all.
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Yeah, And it's a very very powerful adage that if
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you're down, don't bring everybody else down. And that makes
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perfect sense. So definitely that's a very profound lesson to
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learn at a young age. So as you grew how
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did you move into or how did you get attracted
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or how did you take the directions to going and
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joining navy?
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You know, and that we're having this conversation, I probably
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think bub had a lot to do with that sort
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of the way that he carried himself. He was already
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preparing me psychologically with always making sure I was on time,
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was making sure I was working hard, always making sure
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that I was disciplined. So when I left boarding school,
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I went to college, and in college there was basically
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no structure, and so I sort of floundered inside of
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an environment where there was no structure. At boarding school,
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of course, there was a place that I never really enjoyed,
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yet as I got older, I appreciated. So when I
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got an opportunity to go into the military and I
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got back into structure, it was very easy for me
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to cope and to relate because I had already been
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in sort of a fixed structure, right. There was what
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you call imposed discipline right right, And since I grew
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up underneath that type of structure as a child. It
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made it very easy for me to be in the military.
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And I think because I signed up for it as
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opposed to my grandmother putting me there without my permission,
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I was okay with it. So I had already learned
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the lessons of no complaining, no moaning, no whining. So
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I was always someone who was lifting everyone's spirits, and
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I already understood consequences because when I went to boarding school,
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if you were to get out of line, meaning if
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you were to do something that's unexpected and disapproved of,
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there was always a consequence that was relative to your
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measure of rebellion. So the purpose of that was to
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really get you to understand that when you do this,
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you get that, when you do that, you get this.
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So if you do things that are constructive, you're going
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to get bigger opportunities and have more freedoms, and if
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you do things that are deconstructive, then you're going to
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get less opportunities.
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Very true. So this is one side of the coin.
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And if we were to have a difficult conversation in
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the sense that now as we see as the current
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trends or the current winds are blowing. Usually it is recommended,
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especially with mental health and mental well being, that if
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you are not feeling well, so tell us, like you know,
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because feeling not well mentally and non feeling well physically,
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they're both on the part you're not feeling well, you're
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not feeling well well. So how can our audience differentiate
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between the true times, like you know, I'm not feeling well,
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I need to seek help, I need to do something
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about it, versus knowing that it's just completing. Yeah.
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I think as a professional who works with people who
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have been through difficult things, different levels of trauma, different
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levels of confusion, high states of anxiety, and a lot
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of physical discomfort, I think that if I were to
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give advice to people, I'd say, find one person that
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you really trust and begin to share with them what
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you're going through because if you keep things inside and
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I had to learn this the hard way, they amplify. So,
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meaning if you're stressed on Monday and something's really bothering
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you in your workspace or in your family life, and
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you swallow it and move on to Tuesday, well, the
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same thing is still going to be present in your
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environment and well now Monday and Tuesday have gone into Wednesday,
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and then it's this level of accumulation that causes challenges.
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And I would say the most important thing to do
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is to engage in two versions of honesty. One be
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extremely honest with yourself about what's actually happening. Right, and
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things are out of your control, which I had to
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learn in boarding school, which I had to learn in
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the military, which I had to learn as an entrepreneur.
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Things that are out of your control are out of
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your control. And so if you're having a problem with
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how things are being handled, then you're going to have
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to communicate clearly to either someone who is above you
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that can change the circumstance, or you're going to have
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to find a professional that you can speak to, or
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you're going to have to find a dear friend and
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someone you trust to be able to share your objections
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and how these things are bothering you. Right, And if
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you're willing to do that, you're telling in the universe
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that you're willing to be receptive and let other people in.
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And I think that's probably the biggest step, or the
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first step that someone could take.
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M and that's the distinction between not feeling well and complaining,
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because when we are talking over here that don't complain.
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It doesn't mean that being mentally tough means that you're
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not feeling well and you're not seeking help. So that's
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an important distinction to draw. Christopher, would you like to
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add anything to that.
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Yeah, wherever you're overwhelmed, you have to be honest with
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yourself about the level of overwhelm that you're dealing with.
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So let's say, for instance, your anxiety is a ten
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out of ten. Well, it doesn't get any higher than that,
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So that means if your anxiety is a ten out
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of ten, that means there's something going on either inside
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of you or outside of you where you feel extremely
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overwhelmed by either your internal environment or your external environment,
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and you have to invite someone in to that experience
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and simply getting things off your chest can be very productive.
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M hmm. So now thank you for sharing that, and
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now going back to your journey, tell us what did
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it take. So how did you transfer from military into
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navy and how did you become part of that one percent? Right,
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because based on what you have shared that Navy seals
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make up less than one percent of the active duty
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Navy so how did your journey transpire and what did
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you learn along the way?
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What did I learn? You know, I think there's a
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lot of lessons, and I think at the time what
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I was learning is different than what I've learned in retrospect,
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because I think when you're a child. I went to
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boarding school when I was seven years old and I
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left when I was seventeen. So when you're a child
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and you're institutionalized, and so everyone understands who's listened, this
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wasn't an actual institution of calling an institution because it
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was an institution of learning. Right. You take on ideals
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and ideas when you're in a precognitive state of function
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and you don't really actually understand the fullness of what
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those things mean. And so when I was in the military,
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I didn't understand completely what some of the older guys,
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some of the leaders in sealed training, the instructors, and
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what the leaders at the Sealed team that I was
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at Seal Team five. I didn't fully understand the depth
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of what they were talking about. I was very young,
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and so I took on ideals and strategies that were
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limiting beliefs that I created to try to cope and
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fit in with the environment that was available in seal teams.
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And so one of those things is work hard and
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play harder. Well, when I was twenty two, I took
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work hard and play harder to mean, like, you go
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to work, you give everything you got, and then when
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you go out socially and you party, you do the
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