Nov. 19, 2024

Leading Like a Navy SEAL

Leading Like a Navy SEAL

Join Divya Parekh and former Navy SEAL Christopher Lee Maher to explore what it takes to lead like a SEAL. Discover elite principles like mental toughness, resilience, and high-stakes decision-making, broken down for business, coaching, and personal...

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Join Divya Parekh and former Navy SEAL Christopher Lee Maher to explore what it takes to lead like a SEAL. Discover elite principles like mental toughness, resilience, and high-stakes decision-making, broken down for business, coaching, and personal growth. Learn how to build an unstoppable mindset, inspire others, and thrive under pressure. Tune in for actionable insights and lead with purpose!

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.

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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,

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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN

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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W four WN Radio.

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host w park. Do

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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you

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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,

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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

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who have stepped into discomfort, shatered their satus quo, and

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are living the life they want. You will learn how

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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen

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at the expense of your personal or family life or

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vice versa. Learn more at www Don't divpork dot com

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and you can connect with div ants contact Dants dvpark

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dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host,

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div Park.

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Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and I'm excited to be

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here with y'all. So I want to share a kind

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of story. So I usually walk at a nearby trail,

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beautiful trail, especially with autumn being here and during the fall,

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like in all the leaves have fallen, and then there

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are those some of those trees which have some of

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those leaves just kind of hanging out there and all

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that beautiful colors. So one of my neighbors, you know,

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I did not know she was my neighbor. So usually

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I'm not sure about y'all. But like you have like

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trail bodies, trail bodies in the sense that you see

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some people quite often and you wave with them, which

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them good morning. And similarly, this is one of the persons.

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Her name is Ina, beautiful person you know, wave goodbye

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and same morning and say have a good day and

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all of that good stuff. And today she stopped by

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and she told me she was so thrilled to share

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that she's one of my neighbors. And I didn't even know,

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and just the joy on her face that she had

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made the connection just made my day. So think about it.

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Bring that kindness to people. Just taking a moment, taking

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a minute and making that connection can go such a

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long way. I was delighted in the morning and it

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just made for a beautiful, beautiful start to the day.

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And I want to thank each and every one of

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you who have got Her books. We have several books,

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but especially we recommend the Entrepreneur's got In and Expert

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Influencer because those books will provide you with a lot

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of value. Not only that, as you purchase those it

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helps our listeners as well because some of our listeners

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are from qyo dot org and we share partial proceeds

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from that with q dot org. So think you think

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you thank you, and also just want to share I

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am in the process of writing another book, so I'll

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be sharing more about that as time passes. And let's

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bring in our guest.

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Welcome Christopher, thank you, and good morning.

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Good morning, and I want to thank you for your

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services because it's because of heroes like you that we

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celebrate our freedom and we have this beautiful country where

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we have the democracy. So Christopher we get started from

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childhood and do you remember a moment or a person

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that left a positive mark on you.

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Yes, mister bub Aikins was I went to boarding school

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growing up, the Milton Nursery School, and had a house parent.

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His name was Bob Akins, and Bub basically taught me

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that there's no need to complain. And I went up

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to him and I said, Hey, I don't really like

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doing this job that you had me doing it. It

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was buffing the laundry room floor. He was like, well,

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guess what. You're not here to like things. You're here

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just to get things done. Everyone has a job here

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and you have to control. And I was like, oh,

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oh okay. Basically, stop complaining and add value to the

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people that are around you, and everyone's responsible for their

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share of this collective experience.

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That's such a powerful story, and I'm sure that a

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lot of our listeners are going to be scratching their

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head and thinking, Christopher, the question that's probably coming to

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everybody's minds, because I don't know about you. Sometimes, at

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least including myself, I've heard a lot of people people

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saying that if the weather gets too hot, oh it's hot.

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If it gets too cold. We say it's too cold,

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So not sure if that would fall in the complaining category,

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or I hear people complaining about things everywhere like it's

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almost it has become a part of our social fabric.

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So what would you say to our listeners.

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I would say that I think the thing that bub

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was trying to get me to understand is because he

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was a cook. He was an army chef. You know,

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you can imagine it's always hot in the kitchen, right right.

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You know, when he was making food, he was making

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food for hundreds or thousands of people, So I'm sure

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his muscles were always tired, he was always sore, it

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was always hot, he was probably always dehydrated. And I

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think what he was getting me to understand is that

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there's many cooks in his kitchen, all working together, and

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if you get into the business of complaining, you're going

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to be bringing everyone else's mood down.

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Mm hmm.

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So be mindful of your audience because we have to

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keep everyone's spirits high. And you know, there's an old adage,

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if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say

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anything at all.

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Yeah, And it's a very very powerful adage that if

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you're down, don't bring everybody else down. And that makes

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perfect sense. So definitely that's a very profound lesson to

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learn at a young age. So as you grew how

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did you move into or how did you get attracted

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or how did you take the directions to going and

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joining navy?

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You know, and that we're having this conversation, I probably

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think bub had a lot to do with that sort

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of the way that he carried himself. He was already

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preparing me psychologically with always making sure I was on time,

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was making sure I was working hard, always making sure

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that I was disciplined. So when I left boarding school,

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I went to college, and in college there was basically

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no structure, and so I sort of floundered inside of

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an environment where there was no structure. At boarding school,

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of course, there was a place that I never really enjoyed,

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yet as I got older, I appreciated. So when I

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got an opportunity to go into the military and I

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got back into structure, it was very easy for me

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to cope and to relate because I had already been

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in sort of a fixed structure, right. There was what

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you call imposed discipline right right, And since I grew

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up underneath that type of structure as a child. It

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made it very easy for me to be in the military.

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And I think because I signed up for it as

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opposed to my grandmother putting me there without my permission,

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I was okay with it. So I had already learned

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the lessons of no complaining, no moaning, no whining. So

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I was always someone who was lifting everyone's spirits, and

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I already understood consequences because when I went to boarding school,

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if you were to get out of line, meaning if

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you were to do something that's unexpected and disapproved of,

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there was always a consequence that was relative to your

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measure of rebellion. So the purpose of that was to

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really get you to understand that when you do this,

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you get that, when you do that, you get this.

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So if you do things that are constructive, you're going

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to get bigger opportunities and have more freedoms, and if

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you do things that are deconstructive, then you're going to

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get less opportunities.

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Very true. So this is one side of the coin.

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And if we were to have a difficult conversation in

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the sense that now as we see as the current

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trends or the current winds are blowing. Usually it is recommended,

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especially with mental health and mental well being, that if

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you are not feeling well, so tell us, like you know,

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because feeling not well mentally and non feeling well physically,

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they're both on the part you're not feeling well, you're

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not feeling well well. So how can our audience differentiate

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between the true times, like you know, I'm not feeling well,

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I need to seek help, I need to do something

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about it, versus knowing that it's just completing. Yeah.

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I think as a professional who works with people who

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have been through difficult things, different levels of trauma, different

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levels of confusion, high states of anxiety, and a lot

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of physical discomfort, I think that if I were to

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give advice to people, I'd say, find one person that

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you really trust and begin to share with them what

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you're going through because if you keep things inside and

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I had to learn this the hard way, they amplify. So,

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meaning if you're stressed on Monday and something's really bothering

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you in your workspace or in your family life, and

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you swallow it and move on to Tuesday, well, the

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same thing is still going to be present in your

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environment and well now Monday and Tuesday have gone into Wednesday,

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and then it's this level of accumulation that causes challenges.

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And I would say the most important thing to do

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is to engage in two versions of honesty. One be

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extremely honest with yourself about what's actually happening. Right, and

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things are out of your control, which I had to

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learn in boarding school, which I had to learn in

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the military, which I had to learn as an entrepreneur.

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Things that are out of your control are out of

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your control. And so if you're having a problem with

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how things are being handled, then you're going to have

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to communicate clearly to either someone who is above you

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that can change the circumstance, or you're going to have

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to find a professional that you can speak to, or

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you're going to have to find a dear friend and

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someone you trust to be able to share your objections

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and how these things are bothering you. Right, And if

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you're willing to do that, you're telling in the universe

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that you're willing to be receptive and let other people in.

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And I think that's probably the biggest step, or the

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first step that someone could take.

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M and that's the distinction between not feeling well and complaining,

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because when we are talking over here that don't complain.

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It doesn't mean that being mentally tough means that you're

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not feeling well and you're not seeking help. So that's

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an important distinction to draw. Christopher, would you like to

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add anything to that.

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Yeah, wherever you're overwhelmed, you have to be honest with

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yourself about the level of overwhelm that you're dealing with.

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So let's say, for instance, your anxiety is a ten

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out of ten. Well, it doesn't get any higher than that,

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So that means if your anxiety is a ten out

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of ten, that means there's something going on either inside

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of you or outside of you where you feel extremely

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overwhelmed by either your internal environment or your external environment,

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and you have to invite someone in to that experience

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and simply getting things off your chest can be very productive.

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M hmm. So now thank you for sharing that, and

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now going back to your journey, tell us what did

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it take. So how did you transfer from military into

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navy and how did you become part of that one percent? Right,

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because based on what you have shared that Navy seals

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make up less than one percent of the active duty

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Navy so how did your journey transpire and what did

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you learn along the way?

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What did I learn? You know, I think there's a

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lot of lessons, and I think at the time what

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I was learning is different than what I've learned in retrospect,

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because I think when you're a child. I went to

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boarding school when I was seven years old and I

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left when I was seventeen. So when you're a child

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and you're institutionalized, and so everyone understands who's listened, this

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wasn't an actual institution of calling an institution because it

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was an institution of learning. Right. You take on ideals

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and ideas when you're in a precognitive state of function

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and you don't really actually understand the fullness of what

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those things mean. And so when I was in the military,

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I didn't understand completely what some of the older guys,

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some of the leaders in sealed training, the instructors, and

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what the leaders at the Sealed team that I was

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at Seal Team five. I didn't fully understand the depth

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of what they were talking about. I was very young,

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and so I took on ideals and strategies that were

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limiting beliefs that I created to try to cope and

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fit in with the environment that was available in seal teams.

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And so one of those things is work hard and

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play harder. Well, when I was twenty two, I took

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work hard and play harder to mean, like, you go

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to work, you give everything you got, and then when

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you go out socially and you party, you do the

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same thing. And as I look back, because this morning

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I was writing down notes and you know, things that

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we would talk about, and the thing that struck me

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is when work hard but play harder came out, and

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I realized what they really meant was find something you're

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passionate about after work and put all your heart into

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that too. And I took it in the literal sense

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of work hard and play hard in relationship to partying.

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And I don't think the older guys meant that because

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those the older guys weren't out drinking every single night

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after work. And so in retrospect, what I've learned by

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play hard is find something that you're passionate about and

255
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pour all your heart into it that's the opposite and

256
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has nothing to do with your actual profession, and then

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by doing so, you'll have a few different passions. The

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other thing that I think is super important is find

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something that you love. Like when I was in Seal

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training and I was in the Seal Teams one, I'm

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someone who's extremely uncomfortable. I'm very comfortable with the unknown,

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and so find things that are difficult and put yourself

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in the middle of those things and learn to let

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go and learn from what the moment is attempting to

265
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teach you. Another important thing for me in Seal training

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and in the Seal Teams is you have to be

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comfortable with discomfort, and discomfort should never be a deterrent

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from you pouring in all of your heart into what

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you're doing. And so the more uncomfortable you are, the

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more you're learning. The less comfortable you are, the less

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you're learning. And so be comfortable with discomfort, be comfortable

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with pain. Because if you're a pleasure seeker, if there

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isn't pleasure available to you in that moment, you think

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you're bored by life. And when people are bored, what

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do they do? They do things many times that are nonproductive,

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and so I like to do things that are uncomfortable.

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So I keep a little bit of discomfort in my

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life at all times.

279
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That's very powerful Christopher. And here's the thing that people

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run away from discomfort, most of the people. So what

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you have shared is that when you lean into discomfort

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and lean into that fear, becoming familiar with the fear

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of failure, with the year of the unknown, and that's

284
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where the growth happens. It's not just a wall, it's

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a doorway to different opportunities that life can bring you.

286
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So how can somebody go from that discomfort like okay,

287
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I just don't want to do, to being comfortable with

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discomfort and building that mental toughness and resilience.

289
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You know, Yeah, that's a good question. When I was

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in boarding school, part of the process was all of

291
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the student homes were on a dairy farm, and so

292
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at you know, at thirteen, fourteen years old, I was

293
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getting up and going to barn and shoving manure and

294
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milking cows and working in the milk room and helping

295
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to bring calves baby cows into the world. And you're

296
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getting up early. And in Pennsylvania, you know, the fall

297
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in the winter very cold, right, So when you go

298
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down the barn, you know the windows are open, there's

299
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no closed windows in the barn, like it's freezing in there,

300
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and so you have to learn. I had to learn

301
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to enjoy the things that aren't comfortable constantly. So for

302
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someone who doesn't have that, who doesn't have an early

303
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morning barn routine, or lives in a temperate climate and

304
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you don't have the cold, I say, if it's winter

305
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time and you get an opportunity to go on vacation

306
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and choose a place that's cold, or choose a place

307
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that's super super hot, right, and rather then turn on

308
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air conditioning drive to work or be on vacation where

309
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it's really cold or super super hot. So, for instance,

310
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I was recently at Penn State University and I go

311
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up there and I work with the wrestling teams up there.

312
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They have two teams. They have the Nidney Lion Wrestling

313
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Club and they have the Penn State College Wrestlers. And

314
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it was cold and it was windy, and I had

315
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a chance to bundle myself up perfectly, and then I said,

316
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you know what, I'm going to go for a walk.

317
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It's cold and it's windy out. I'm not going to

318
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put much on because I haven't been in the cold recently,

319
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and I wanted to have that discomfort. I wanted to

320
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be in that, and so I went for a twenty

321
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minute walk in the cold and the wind, and it

322
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was very uncomfortable. And then when I got inside the building,

323
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I could appreciate the warmth and the coziness that was

324
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in the wrestling room. So that's a strategy of something

325
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that I will do on a semi regular basis to

326
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:13.559
get myself uncomfortable. Right Like I like to get into

327
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the sauna, and when you're in the sauna, there's a

328
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point where you get in and you're like, Oh, this

329
00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:21.839
is kind of hot, and then there's a moment when

330
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you're in the sauna where you're like, oh, this is

331
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a little too much. And whenever I have that feeling,

332
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that experience, that's when I say to myself, Okay, you're

333
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going to stay a few more minutes. Do I have

334
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to stay an hour? No? Do I have to stay

335
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thirty minutes? Now? All I need to do is stay

336
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a few more minutes past the place where I start

337
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to feel uncomfortable, and then I know that I'm creating

338
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really positive stress for my body. The difference here is this,

339
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if I was in the seal teams and I was

340
00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:58.240
in seal training, well, when we got uncomfortable, they would

341
00:24:58.359 --> 00:25:04.119
keep us in that discomforta hours. Okay, no one needs

342
00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:08.559
to do that in order to build inner strength or

343
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to build self esteem. Yet the moment you feel uncomfortable,

344
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staying a few minutes beyond that discomfort is really really

345
00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:23.759
valuable because guess what. You're going to be on plane rides,

346
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meaning you're going to be on flights, You're going to

347
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be on trains, you're going to be in taxis, You're

348
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going to be in places where it's raining, it's muddy,

349
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and it's dirty. And if you're testing yourself a little

350
00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:40.759
bit every day, when you get in those situations, it

351
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never pulls you out of your center because you're already

352
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used to a little bit of discomfort.

353
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Mm hm. Yes, that's very powerful. And this goes back

354
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to the mindfulness and neurotechniques because just like you have

355
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to go to the gym and then slowly increase the

356
00:26:05.599 --> 00:26:09.440
amount of weights that you can lift, similarly is the

357
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mental resilience is putting yourself. And this goes back again

358
00:26:14.279 --> 00:26:17.960
to the exposure to fear. That the best way to

359
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:21.720
overcome a fear is being exposed to it, and it

360
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:24.519
doesn't have to be like you said, it doesn't have

361
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to be ours. It can be done in baby steps,

362
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So it could be incremental goals zero to five percent,

363
00:26:30.799 --> 00:26:34.400
five to ten percent, and just like the interest compounds,

364
00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:40.400
you would see that similar that bounce back ratio from

365
00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:45.279
the tough times will be shorter, and finding that ability

366
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:47.920
to cope with different situations. So now this is again

367
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.240
I want to lean in. You mentioned that you went

368
00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:54.000
for a walk, So it's a choice, it's a decision.

369
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And so many times what happens is that so many

370
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of my clients and come across so many different people,

371
00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:07.480
people are hesitant to make decisions versus like when you

372
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:10.279
were a part of an AVCAL, I mean you were

373
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:12.640
in a situations probably like you know, life or death

374
00:27:12.759 --> 00:27:18.000
or whatever. Different scenarios or different backgrounds. There can be

375
00:27:18.039 --> 00:27:21.559
so many life threatening and even if it may not

376
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:24.480
be life threatening, it can be like let's say, for

377
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:28.559
us who are civilians, there is still high stakes decisions

378
00:27:28.599 --> 00:27:32.559
like okay, whether to something like you mentioned that you

379
00:27:32.599 --> 00:27:35.000
know something's not right, how do I go about it?

380
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:37.279
Do I have that tough conversation, I don't have that

381
00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:41.319
tough conversation, or okay, I'm struggling in this job. I

382
00:27:41.359 --> 00:27:44.519
don't like this job? Shall I like you in the market? Job?

383
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:47.680
Market is bad? Shall I go out and just go

384
00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:51.640
after something that I want to do? And so many

385
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:56.279
times what happens is that people linger in that state

386
00:27:56.440 --> 00:28:03.200
of overthinking and analysis, pres that they stay in mediocrity

387
00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:08.279
and going from that ordinary to becoming extraordinary, you know,

388
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:13.640
that little piece that extra is missing. So what can

389
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:16.480
you share from your experience that will help people to

390
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:22.799
make those starting from small decisions to high stakes decisions.

391
00:28:22.920 --> 00:28:25.519
You know, when you go into seal training, it's a

392
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:32.119
great question. And you walk through the corridor and you

393
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:34.960
get out into what's called the PT area. It says

394
00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:39.559
black top section. Off to your left is a building

395
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:43.440
and there's a sign up there and it's in blue

396
00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:48.319
and yellow letters. Okay, actually it's in blue letters with

397
00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:52.200
a yellow background, and it says the only easy day

398
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:58.359
was yesterday. And when you see that sign, you start

399
00:28:58.359 --> 00:29:03.000
to understand very very quickly that every day they're going

400
00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:05.839
to pile on a little more stress, right, they're going

401
00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:09.119
to make it a little more difficult. And for most

402
00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:12.599
people it's a nine month a year long program. I

403
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:14.039
know for me it was about a year and a

404
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:20.319
half long program. So when you have that mindset and

405
00:29:20.359 --> 00:29:23.799
they're direct and upfront and you know what to expect,

406
00:29:24.519 --> 00:29:29.880
I think it's easier to be able to cope with

407
00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:35.359
increased amounts of difficulty every single day. And it comes

408
00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:37.880
back to what something we started to talk about a

409
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:45.359
little bit earlier, and I think people have to understand

410
00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:54.079
that life is always changing, okay, and that growth is

411
00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:59.039
meant to have some difficulty in it. And if you're

412
00:29:59.079 --> 00:30:03.279
looking to have a good time all the time, then

413
00:30:05.079 --> 00:30:09.559
you're missing out on the opportunity to understand that a

414
00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:15.680
real good time is filled with many phases. And the

415
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:22.359
first phase is ignorance. Okay. I was ignorant in the

416
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:29.240
sense that I heard about seal training through a biannual magazine,

417
00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:32.519
and my favorite sport grown up was track and field,

418
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:38.720
in cross country and swimming. So when I saw these

419
00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:43.160
guys on the front cover of this magazine running down

420
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:48.720
the beach with telephone poles over their shoulders, seven guys

421
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:53.279
to a telephone pole right next to the ocean, like,

422
00:30:53.799 --> 00:30:59.400
everything came together for me. But what I never really

423
00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:06.759
consider was how much and how often we were going

424
00:31:06.839 --> 00:31:12.599
to be doing things that were difficult, And so every

425
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:20.079
exercise in steel training has some level of difficulty to it.

426
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:26.680
And when you refuse to do your research, meaning ask

427
00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:32.519
questions to other professionals, to other entrepreneurs, to other seekers

428
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:35.039
about what it is you want to get into, you're

429
00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:39.599
going in their blind And because I was comfortable with

430
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:47.200
the unknown, I never asked enough questions. And because of

431
00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:52.240
my lack of investigation, I think steal training in a

432
00:31:52.279 --> 00:31:54.839
certain way was a little bit more difficult for me

433
00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:58.079
in the beginning because I was unprepared. When I showed up,

434
00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:04.680
everyone else showed up pretty fit. Okay, I showed up

435
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:07.640
to seal training, no working out before I got there.

436
00:32:09.119 --> 00:32:14.079
So my first ten eleven, twelve weeks, oh, I was suffering.

437
00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:20.000
Like I swam enough to pass the test, I ran

438
00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:24.480
enough to pass the test. I did enough push ups

439
00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:27.039
and sit ups and pull ups to pass the test.

440
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:34.799
But I never really got into that grinding mindset because

441
00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:39.720
I never investigated or asked anyone, Hey, you're a Navy

442
00:32:39.799 --> 00:32:43.599
seal or you've been through seal training, what should I expect?

443
00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:48.920
And so I showed up unprepared. And I think, if

444
00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:51.279
you're going, if you're that type of person like me,

445
00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:56.880
it would behoove you to at least get familiar with

446
00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:04.279
what the expectations are and never idealize a photo right

447
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.960
without figuring out what you're really getting into. And I

448
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:13.559
had no idea what I was really getting into. You know,

449
00:33:13.640 --> 00:33:17.880
I saw the movie, you know, Navy Seals with Charlie Sheen,

450
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:22.200
and but I don't think I really understood the energetic

451
00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:28.160
demands of what was going on. So the lesson there

452
00:33:28.200 --> 00:33:33.960
for me and the walk away is move out of

453
00:33:33.960 --> 00:33:40.160
ignorance by getting informed and be well informed right, call

454
00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:43.559
people up who are who have attempted to do the

455
00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:50.079
thing that you're attempting. Ask yourself the deeper questions, is

456
00:33:50.119 --> 00:33:52.359
this going to be fun for me? Is this going

457
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:54.759
to be something that I actually love? Is this something

458
00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:58.799
that I enjoy? Because if you ask those deeper questions

459
00:33:58.839 --> 00:34:03.000
of yourself, you're going to find out really quickly if

460
00:34:03.039 --> 00:34:06.279
it's something that resonates with you. Because anything you devote

461
00:34:06.319 --> 00:34:09.199
your life to is your time, and as you know,

462
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:15.000
time is a very precious commodity, and a lot of

463
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:18.360
people think that time is the most precious commodity. But

464
00:34:18.559 --> 00:34:21.440
in my belief, I believe that love is the most

465
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:25.719
precious commodity. And if i'm doing something that I love,

466
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:27.119
then my time can never be.

467
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:32.760
Wasted because that is the precious time that you look

468
00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:38.360
out for and time that you cherish. So you brought

469
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:43.360
up a really good point. And as the Prato's law goes,

470
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:47.440
it's eighty percent preparation and twenty percent execution. So it's

471
00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:50.599
important that if you're prepared, then you can get in

472
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:56.679
that mindset. And if you're in that mindset, then another

473
00:34:56.719 --> 00:34:59.039
thing that you brought up was if you love what

474
00:34:59.079 --> 00:35:03.360
you do, So it goes back to leading with purpose

475
00:35:03.519 --> 00:35:07.360
and knowing your why. If you know your why. So

476
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:10.480
for me, it's about impacting other people and helping other

477
00:35:10.519 --> 00:35:14.360
people and that's what got me moving from corporate into

478
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:19.559
coaching arena. And there are unknowns. There are times as

479
00:35:19.559 --> 00:35:22.960
an entrepreneur and you don't know what's going to come next,

480
00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:26.440
and that's where knowing your why helps you get through

481
00:35:26.519 --> 00:35:30.119
your what and the how, because sometimes you can be

482
00:35:30.119 --> 00:35:34.079
best informed and yet the how may be very different

483
00:35:34.199 --> 00:35:37.800
than what you expected. So going back to what you

484
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:41.639
said is that love is most important. If you love

485
00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:44.920
what you do, then it will pull you through the

486
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:50.199
grind and the difficult times. So you also mentioned that

487
00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:58.079
the stress leaves a lot of imprints in the body

488
00:35:58.119 --> 00:36:01.280
as well. So can you share what you mean by

489
00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:07.559
that and how can people leverish that to heal themselves.

490
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:16.360
Yeah, stress, you know, there's there's two basic types of stress.

491
00:36:16.599 --> 00:36:21.159
I mean, it's interesting to me that everyone that's an

492
00:36:21.199 --> 00:36:25.079
adult is aware that stress is something that impacts then

493
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:30.039
and people basically know two things. There's positive stress and

494
00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:34.920
there's negative stress, right, And that's the very beginning to

495
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.519
that doorway. And the thing about stress imprints is that

496
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:46.760
you need an intense amount of unresolved stress in order

497
00:36:46.840 --> 00:36:51.920
to create a tiny bit of physical tension. So think

498
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:56.639
about that. You need a massive amount of unresolved stress

499
00:36:57.199 --> 00:37:02.679
to transform into a tiny bit of physical tension. Well,

500
00:37:02.719 --> 00:37:05.960
when you think about you know people who are white

501
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:09.760
collar workers, right, they sit under butts all day, right, right,

502
00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:12.440
And you think about blue collar workers where they're out

503
00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:17.159
moving all day, right. And so when you're a white

504
00:37:17.239 --> 00:37:20.199
collar worker and you're sitting on your butt fourteen sixteen

505
00:37:20.199 --> 00:37:24.400
hours a day, well, guess what happens year after year,

506
00:37:24.519 --> 00:37:29.039
decade after decade. Your body starts to hold a massive

507
00:37:29.039 --> 00:37:33.079
amount of tension. And you need a massive amount of

508
00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:37.440
tension to create a tiny bit of distortion, and distortion

509
00:37:37.639 --> 00:37:41.119
is what creates pain. Right, So if you look at

510
00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:44.360
emotional we started a conversation off today, it's sort of

511
00:37:45.559 --> 00:37:51.639
with some questions around mental wellness, right, and emotional wellness. Well.

512
00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:55.400
In order to be mentally or emotionally unwell, you have

513
00:37:55.559 --> 00:37:59.599
to have mental pain or emotional pain in order to

514
00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:02.360
have to physical pain like joint pain or I woke

515
00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:05.800
up today my neck is stiff, or my back is tight,

516
00:38:06.199 --> 00:38:10.119
or the top of my foot is uncomfortable when I

517
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:13.440
put too much weight on my right leg, like whatever

518
00:38:13.719 --> 00:38:22.000
level of physical, emotional, psychological, or energetic discomfort. Right, people

519
00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:25.239
wake up and they feel exhausted, and they got it.

520
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:28.320
They have to get out of bed because they have work. Well,

521
00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:32.000
guess what that's energetic pain. Right when you wake up

522
00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:35.360
and your eyes are super super heavy and you're reaching

523
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:39.119
for that snooze button three or four more times. Well,

524
00:38:39.880 --> 00:38:42.480
in order to get to that place, if we reverse

525
00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:45.119
engineer it, what's the thing that we have to have first?

526
00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:48.679
We have to have a massive amount of stress in

527
00:38:48.840 --> 00:38:51.519
order to get to a tiny bit of distortion that

528
00:38:51.599 --> 00:38:57.719
creates discomfort. And so these imprints, you have to figure

529
00:38:57.760 --> 00:39:00.639
out what sort of really works for you in order

530
00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:06.280
to dissolve imprints. Some people they're into breathwork, and breath

531
00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:09.840
work is their thing. They breathe, they light up their cells,

532
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:13.880
they get very energetic, and they feel better. Other people

533
00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:17.920
are more comfortable with something like sound healing. Other people

534
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:21.800
are going to be more comfortable with yoga and pilates.

535
00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:25.199
Other people are going to be more comfortable with meditation.

536
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:29.639
And you've got to really figure out, like what's more

537
00:39:29.639 --> 00:39:32.400
of your go to Are you a movement based person,

538
00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:38.079
are your breath work person? Are you a vibrational healing person?

539
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:46.639
Or are you a meditation type person? And get involved

540
00:39:47.519 --> 00:39:52.119
in some way in the place where you're comfortable, Like

541
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:54.079
you'll find a lot of meditators. You're never going to

542
00:39:54.119 --> 00:39:56.519
find those people at the gym. You can find a

543
00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:58.159
lot of people that go to the gym every day.

544
00:39:58.199 --> 00:40:00.000
You're never going to find them in a yoga class.

545
00:40:00.840 --> 00:40:03.000
You have people to go to yoga class, You're never

546
00:40:03.039 --> 00:40:05.360
going to find them in a breath work class. Right,

547
00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:08.320
And yet it's more likely that they would do that

548
00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:12.639
because they're more into Eastern practice. But what I would

549
00:40:12.719 --> 00:40:17.760
say is be aware of what it is you like

550
00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:23.119
to do and then find someone in the world who's

551
00:40:23.239 --> 00:40:29.480
really good at one of those disciplines okay, top notch, right,

552
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:33.639
like top five on the planet, or at least someone

553
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:38.199
who knows more than you do, and get involved in

554
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:45.039
shedding and reducing your lifetime accumulated stress loads, or at

555
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:50.719
least be consistent enough to deal with your daily accumulated stress.

556
00:40:52.199 --> 00:40:56.559
Because yeah, because if you continue to avoid dealing with

557
00:40:56.599 --> 00:41:01.519
your daily accumulated stress, that's going to eventually turned into

558
00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:08.000
some level of discomfort or pain or disease or you know,

559
00:41:08.239 --> 00:41:14.639
worst case scenario, some very complex disease. And so if

560
00:41:14.679 --> 00:41:18.599
you stay on top of it on a semi consistent

561
00:41:18.679 --> 00:41:26.840
basis and it works for your lifestyle, you need to

562
00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:30.960
be able to be honest with yourself one about the

563
00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:35.239
amount of stress that you're under on a daily basis.

564
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:39.239
And then the way you're going to know whether or

565
00:41:39.239 --> 00:41:42.559
not you're being successful is when you wake up the morning.

566
00:41:42.599 --> 00:41:47.719
If you wake up tired, you're failing at reducing your

567
00:41:47.800 --> 00:41:52.280
daily accumulated stress. If you wake up and you're refreshed,

568
00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:57.000
you're winning at dealing with your daily cumulated stress. Which

569
00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:02.199
means you have to have a lifestyle that promotes self healing.

570
00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:03.239
Mm hmm.

571
00:42:04.039 --> 00:42:06.719
So the key is what I'm hearing is that figure

572
00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:11.039
out what works for you, yeah, and then follow that.

573
00:42:11.800 --> 00:42:15.559
And then secondly, the key is that don't wait like, oh,

574
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:18.079
I'm going to go on vacation or I'm going to

575
00:42:18.119 --> 00:42:23.519
do this in two months time. Involve yourself and day

576
00:42:23.559 --> 00:42:26.440
to day activities and whether it's like you know, five minutes,

577
00:42:26.519 --> 00:42:31.920
ten its wherever, you know, start out small and do

578
00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:36.280
that reset every single day. So, given all of this, Christopher,

579
00:42:36.440 --> 00:42:39.079
share with our listeners a little bit about your book.

580
00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:41.840
Where can they connect with you? How can they find you?

581
00:42:43.800 --> 00:42:45.840
The name of my book is called Free for Life,

582
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:50.239
the US Navy seals path to Inner Freedom and Outer Peace,

583
00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:56.360
meaning that when you have attained inner freedom, you're at

584
00:42:56.440 --> 00:43:01.320
peace with everything that's going on outside of you okay,

585
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:07.000
meaning you're never complaining or whining or moaning or interceding

586
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:11.360
into other people's lives with judgment or criticism or disapproval.

587
00:43:12.400 --> 00:43:16.199
You're okay with everyone's level of evolution at the pace

588
00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:21.000
that they want to go right. And you can easily

589
00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:23.840
find my book on my website at true Body intelligence

590
00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:27.920
dot com if you like to be inspired each day

591
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:33.039
or you want a little hit of education around stress.

592
00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:36.960
You can follow me on Instagram at Christopher Lee maher

593
00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:41.440
m AhR and every other day I always post something

594
00:43:41.480 --> 00:43:46.119
that's thirty to sixty seconds long to help continue to

595
00:43:46.199 --> 00:43:50.280
inform and educate you on some level of stress and

596
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:53.599
some type of action that you can take that will

597
00:43:53.639 --> 00:43:59.280
help you reduce your daily accumulated stress. And almost all

598
00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:02.639
the advice that I give never requires you to spend

599
00:44:02.679 --> 00:44:07.679
any money, and in an economy that's had a downward spiral,

600
00:44:09.159 --> 00:44:11.599
I think it's important to be able to give people

601
00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:16.960
solutions and action oriented steps that they can take to

602
00:44:17.079 --> 00:44:22.719
at least, at very least to question themselves around what

603
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:27.039
it is they're doing to manage their lifestyle, either positively

604
00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:27.760
or negatively.

605
00:44:29.440 --> 00:44:34.800
Absolutely, and I'm positive that people are definitely going to

606
00:44:34.840 --> 00:44:38.840
seek you out. Thank you so much for sharing these

607
00:44:38.880 --> 00:44:45.800
powerful nuggets your story and insights. We appreciate you joining

608
00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:51.039
us today, and thank you, dear audience and listeners for

609
00:44:51.159 --> 00:44:55.159
joining us and for being part of our show, because

610
00:44:55.239 --> 00:44:57.639
without you, the show would not be possible. Reach out

611
00:44:57.639 --> 00:45:00.719
to us, let us know how can me support you,

612
00:45:01.400 --> 00:45:04.119
whose stories you'd like to listen to and how can

613
00:45:04.199 --> 00:45:07.880
we help you live the life you deserve and want,

614
00:45:08.559 --> 00:45:11.679
and thank you one for making the show technically possible.

615
00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:14.199
Be well and take care until next time.

616
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:17.599
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host,

617
00:45:17.639 --> 00:45:20.000
d v Park, we hope you have learned more about

618
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:22.639
how to start living the life you want. Each week

619
00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:25.719
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've

620
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:29.920
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.

621
00:45:30.280 --> 00:45:33.679
During Beyond Confidence, Divpark shares what happened to her when

622
00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:36.119
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly

623
00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:39.159
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people

624
00:45:39.239 --> 00:45:42.719
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to

625
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:46.159
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life

626
00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:48.599
they want. If you are ready to live the life

627
00:45:48.599 --> 00:45:52.360
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www

628
00:45:52.440 --> 00:45:56.039
dot dvpark dot com and you can connect with vat

629
00:45:56.360 --> 00:46:00.320
contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward to winning

630
00:46:00.360 --> 00:46:00.960
us next week.

631
00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:07.880
M hmm