Love Yourself to Succeed

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Radio. This is Beyond Confidence with
your host Dvaparnk. Do you want to

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live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve

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your personal, professional, and financial
goals? Well? Coming up on Diva

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Park's Beyond Confidence, you will hear
real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and

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achievers who have stepped into discomfort,
shanner their status quo, and are living

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the life they want. You will
learn how relationships are the key to achieving

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happen at the expense of your personal
or family life, or vice versa.

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Learn more www dot dvaparnk dot com
and you can connect with div at contact

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at dvapark dot com. This is
Beyond Confidence and now here's your host,

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Via Park. Good morning, this
is Divia and it's Tuesday, and love

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this day because I get to be
with you. So for each and every

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one of you who have got our
books, I want to thank you because

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together we can make a difference.
Partial profits from the book sales do go

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to Kiva dot org where we help
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women entrepreneurs. And if you're thinking
which books to get, both the Entrepreneurs

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Garden as well as expert to Influencer
are going to help you get what you

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want and live the lifestyle you deserve. And of course there are other several

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to keep it dot org. And I'm

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going to invite you, like always, to spend one hour of your time

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every month supporting someone without any strings
attached. Let's keep let's start this kind

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of circle and let's keep it going. And let's invite our guests and so

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welcome Anti League. Hello, wonderful
to be here. Thank you so much

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for having me. Oh it's a
pleasure having you were here. So tell

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us, Angelick, if you remember
a moment or a time or a person

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from your childhood that left a mark
on you. Oh wow. You know,

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it's so important that we take the
time to remember these things because those

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marks can affect us for the whole
rest of our life. And it was

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my grandmother and my other side.
My grandmother was a great cook, and

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she also used to garden, and
just the fact that she would take time

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to share what it is that she
really know and was important on her heart

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really made an effect on me.
What about you, Oh, great question.

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So I was very lucky to have
some really really good people in my

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life who left an impact. Although
I gotta say it the most impact,

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I mean that different levels of impact. There was this big, beautiful tropical

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tree in our backyard with strong,
sturdy limbs, and of course my parents

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didn't like it. There. I
would just kind of climb up and take

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my books with me and read it. You know. I would even sometimes

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take my blanket, and whenever my
parents tried to give me a time out,

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I would be climbing on the topmost
limbs and like sticking on it,

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and they'd be like, please,
okay, you're no longer in time,

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would just come down, So I
think so it was a fun time for

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me, but not so much as
for my parents. So as you kind

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of grew up under the influence of
your grandma, and she liked gardening,

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and so what would you say that
you took away from your association with her,

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You know, I would, I
would make that comparison to the way

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that you talked about the tree,
And I too, agree that trees give

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us a grounding, give us a
life force. They hold down our earth,

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and they bring us fresh air.
And people who are living in their

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presence, who aren't trying to be
something, who just truly are loving what

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they do and they're great at it. That's what she was and represented to

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me, and that's what trees do
for us every day too. They just

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be If we can all be the
tree, we'd all be the best person

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we can be. Right, absolutely, you said it. So as you

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continued growing, what did you interest
in you? My interests were always an

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understanding humanity. I felt like it
made a lot more sense to look outside

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into the nature and see how it
worked. But humans were a bit confusing

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to me. So I've always been
fascinated with the inner workings of how people

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made decisions and what decisions made them
happy and unhappy, and why they made

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them. So the psychology in such
has always been very important to me.

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Well, human beings are complicated.
You are so right. Human beings are

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really fascinating, just like any creature
of the planet. But human beings,

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being human beings with the brain that
has developed in comparison to way further ahead

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than any other species on the planet, definitely of interest. And I can

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relate to that because I was always
fascinated by how did the body work,

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how did the mind work? In
this sense, how is everything happening on

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its own? So that's where it
took me down the path of biochemistry and

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neural science. So that's said.
You mentioned that you know you were interested

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in psychology, So what were some
of your initial undertakings in your life.

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I went through school and I went
through college as well, and I have

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when I started studying psychology, I
admired it, but I found, at

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least for me and my perspective,
I always wanted applicable information and there's a

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lot of study about the mind,
but the actual application of how to use

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it and what works and what doesn't
is what I wasn't finding in psychiatry.

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So I do have a minor in
philosophy, and I've also gone to do

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intensive months long studies with folks like
cosmologists John Dobson, who's a mentor of

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mine, and other spiritual people who
knew how to actually apply the information and

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walk the walk, so to speak. So, my you asked about how

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it really manifested for me? How
did it how did it play out?

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I just continued along the path,
so I found things that worked and finding

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people who knew how to walk it. That's what makes it work. You're

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absolutely right on the spot that it's
you know, you could have the best

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intentions in the world, you could
have all the information in the world,

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and yet if you don't have that
implementation, that to implementation done the right

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way, then you're not going to
be able to bring that change or take

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Without that action, it just remains
a dream or always or a goal.

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It does not become reality or results. So you really said that, So

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as you travel through your life walking
with people who had already achieved it,

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and I'm really a fan of that
too, because I've done the same.

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And when you work with someone or
when you follow someone, I mean sometimes

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you can just be reading books,
consuming podcasts, you could be working with

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someone. When you take the learnings
of people who have already been through all

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of what you may go through,
you are getting a shortcut to where you

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want to go. So that's such
a great way of doing it. So

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yes, tell us more about where
did it finally lead you? Well,

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where it led me was to recognizing
that even people, though people were incredibly

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intelligent, like the doctors of psychiatry
and such I knew from also my research,

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having a background and degree in journalism
as well, but seventy percent of

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the people who are teaching these things, who are psychiatrists, don't actually apply

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it. They have the same problems
that they're teaching about. So for me,

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I realized that there really wasn't a
degree, so to speak, for

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walking your talk. And I found
that to be unsettling really in humanity,

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that we would be okay with a
facade of a degree that we don't know

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how to walk. And so I
decided I was going to create my own

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and just by doing my podcasts and
doing my studies and then only talking and

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speaking about things that I've actually applied, and I surround myself with other people

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who have also applied it, because
I believe that there's something that comes from

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studying with people who've applied it that
isn't just the knowledge that we're sharing.

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It's like what emanates out of the
tree. It's not just oxygen and not

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just beauty, but there's a presence
about the tree. There's a presence about

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being in with a master. It's
called SATs on. When you sit with

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someone who's actually embodying what it is
that we are seeking, that it emanates

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out of them and it seeps into
us like we're absorbing it like a sponge,

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and it's on an unconscious level.
And that's really important. We need

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more people who can embody their truth. M love that love that word presence,

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and it again kind of brings us
back to mindfulness and being present,

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being in the moment, and a
lot of people will question that, what

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does being in the moment even mean. It's been living the life, embracing

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wherever you are at and without the
past and the future, and of course

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everybody's definition can be different. It's
about accepting it as you kind of go

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back to the tree. I love
nature. Tree will not question what you're

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doing underneath it, or it will
not question anybody else. The nature knows

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how to live in harmony. And
that's so much more like we need to

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bring in not only non personal lives
but also as a humanity. What do

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you think of that? It's vital. It's vital because we need to accept

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no life, just like the tree. We need to We can accept beauty

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and people under it. We can
accept the winds, we can accept the

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rain and the weather. That doesn't
necessarily mean we always like all of it,

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but being in acceptance of it means
that we aren't causing stress for ourselves.

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And when we're not in stress,
we're also not causing stress for other

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people generally in addition to whatever they
create for themselves. Right right, So

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it's it's it's it's vital. Great
point. You put it beautifully. So

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now let me ask you this.
So here we are, we know what

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needs to be done, and we
know that like implementation is there. People

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know. Most people are aware of
things. So for example, one simple

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thing, oh, I gotta exercise, or I gotta eat healthy, or

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I gotta sleep eight hours a day, and yet what is it that stops

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them from implementing it? Well,
what I've found stops them is the same

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thing that stopped me, and that
is if we're not aware of what it

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is and we don't take time to
listen, we don't ever get to the

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bottom of it. We end up
chasing other people's issues and drama and addictions

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of any sort. So we need
to one be willing, because if we're

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not willing, that's the key.
If we're not willing, it's not going

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anywhere. Just try to teach someone
something they don't want to learn, it

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doesn't work. They have to be
willing. So that's the first step is

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if we're willing to ask ourselves important
questions like why am I doing this?

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And it can't be something that we're
blaming on life or our spouse or our

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job. It has to be really
coming from within because it's always co ownership.

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You know, sure, maybe our
spouse caused us a little stress,

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but what is it that's going inside
of us? What's going on in there

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that makes us think it's okay to
do things that are poisonous for us?

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For example, so you mentioned that
as it happened to me. Could you

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expand on that? Oh, sure, sure, I don't mind at all.

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As a matter of fact, I
feel that if when we're at the

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point when we're ready to talk about
what it was that we were addicted to,

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we're no longer addicted. People who
are offended, like that's the first

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key. If we're offended by admitting
or having someone point out the fact that

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we have an addiction, we're probably
still addicted. You know, it's not

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an issue once we've gone beyond it. And I had an addiction at a

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young age to binge eating donuts.
I don't know if anybody there ever has

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anything that they can relate to on
that, but I tell you what I

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thought donuts could solve my problems because
I was raised in a situation where my

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mother was in deep depression for much
of my growing up years, and she

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also had a back problem, so
that left her bedridden sometimes. And then

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my dad was a workaholic, so
he was gone all the time, and

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that left me caretaking everybody really,
including my younger brother. And the only

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time I found that I could do
something that was only of my own volition

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or my own choice was at night
late at night after all the chores were

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done, so it was probably midnight, and I had my secret stash of

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my white box of Antonman's colors in
my room under my bed, and I

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could go grocery shopping. So I
was lucky enough to be able to be

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the person to have the donuts and
knew where they were, and it had

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my height my head stash. And
I got down to the bottom of the

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box of donuts. I'd eaten every
single ask frum. I mean, I'm

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holding the white container and the cellophane
is crackling a little bit, and I'm

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trying to stay quiet. And I
get down to the bottom and pull up

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my little crones and I'm nabbling.
And as I'm sitting there, getting started

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to get what they call it,
like the Jones is realizing I don't have

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any more donuts and I want more
donuts. I had two choices. Am

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I going to try to jump out
the window and go get myself some more

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donuts at the gas station? Or
am I going to sit here and give

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myself the opportunity to learn a little
bit like I am stuffed, I'm sick

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to my stomach. I'm sick.
I'm literally sick, and yet I still

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want more donuts. So I realized
it's not an hunger issue. I'm not

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hungry. So if I'm not hungry
and I don't really want donuts, that

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led to self wind cry what do
I really want? What do I really

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want? And I'm sitting there in
my bedroom and I'm a teenage, a

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young teenager. I don't know how
old I was, I don't remember.

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But also you are are still a
child. Oh yeah, still a child.

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And you know, at the time
when you were supposed to be playing

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out, you had all the responsibility
at home and you were taking care of

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your mom and you were taking care
of the younger brother. I don't know

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how many kids would do that and
not sneak out or shunned the responsibilities.

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And so it's yeah, it's important
to have compassion as well. So tell

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us, like, you know,
how did you even become a very I

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mean you are so young at that
time? Well I was, But yet

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at the same time, when you
have other people around you aren't responsible,

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we become over responsible, which actually
became a psychological problem. I mean I

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had hyper vigilance issues. I was
always wanting to make sure everything was okay,

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and everybody else was okay. But
as a child, in some ways

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it really helped me because I knew
I couldn't get help from either one of

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my parents, and the answer to
the question what do I really want was

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a really important answer. It led
to another question, but my answer was

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I really wanted love, which I
found is basically the answer to most every

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addiction I so far, I've never
met anybody and worked with anybody as a

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mentor with someone who that wasn't the
answer, And so that led me to

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it saying, well, I can't
get it to from my parents. I

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can't get love from them because they're
dealing with their themselves. So where can

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I get it? And how do
I experience love? And that helped me

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to learn some things that I could
do, even as a young child,

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to love myself. So that led
me to start a self love you movement.

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M So tell us when you're that
young child, when you realize or

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when did you become aware of that
there was something going on? And when

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did you question and what was the
result of it? Well, I think

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we can any of us can know
if how do we know we have an

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addiction? You know, we lie
about it. We say, oh,

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I don't have that problem, or
no, I don't need to have all

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those donuts, or or we might
pretend we don't eat donuts and we're in

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front of other people, we hide
them, like I hid my box of

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donuts. Or we deny, we
deny, you know that there's an issue,

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we just avoid the whole problem overall. So lying, denying, and

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hiding are three ways that we can
know that we have a problem. So

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I did that with donuts. But
there are more than one addiction. Usually

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people have two to three addictions.
When we have one, we have more

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than one because it's really not the
issue with the addiction. So if you're

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open to it, like you know, I love you here, like did

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you have any other addictions that you
would avail? Oh, yes, yes

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I did, and I had to
work through those as well. What I

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didn't know it was the more recent
overcoming of addictions was codependency. The one

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one in the middle of that that
I had worked out was workaholism. So

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I had done all those things really
as a source or way to be able

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to achieve the recognition for myself that
I felt that I needed because I couldn't

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get love from outside of me in
the way that I felt that I needed

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it and I couldn't succeed in my
love relationships with my family, so I

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thought, well, I can succeed
at work, so let's just keep doing

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that. M So, what I'm
hearing is that that workoholism, and we

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will explore that because so many people
are workoholics, and sometimes they even take

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pride in that. Oh yes,
guilty. I even like to be a

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workaholic. And if somebody's going for
work life balance, and it's like hmm,

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so of course, you know that's
the different generations and especially millennials and

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zigen up bringing, that change about
where having the time with family and time

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for oneself is really really important.
So when we talk about work coholism,

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So what's showing up for me is
that that vacuum which could be filled by

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love is being filled by work.
That Okay, if I work, you

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know, I'll get recognized and that
external validation somehow replaces to some extent that

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love that you were seeking. Yes, and that is absolutely true. And

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in my case, I took it
even a step farther because my work was

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always about giving to other people the
same way it was in my family growing

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up, so I still wasn't.
I didn't I did not try to get

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validation from even the accolades. As
a matter of fact, I didn't want

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people to point out that I was
doing a good job because there were other

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issues growing up in my family where
it's just not a good idea to get

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praised by other people because there's jealousy
and competition and other things that I didn't

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understand that. And even doing what
I'm doing right now, it took a

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lot of personal inner work in order
to do what I'm doing right now with

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this was this is not my norm. I'm actually an introvert who does the

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extrovert thing just so that I can
accomplish sharing a message that I believe is

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vital and important so that someone out
there may or may not choose to inspire

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themselves. Now, thank you so
much for being open and vulnerable and sharing

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your story. Absolutely if that's the
only way that we can all really make

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a connection. And I want to
acknowledge you and give you a shout out

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for the work you've done yourself,
because that's one of the hardest things to

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do, and for not only do
the work and move beyond it but recognizing

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it that there was this cycle which
finish initiated in your childhood and then it

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continued because you were used to giving, giving, giving, and taking care

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of others. So how did you
realize that workoholism was a repetition and how

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did you overcome it? Because I'm
sure there's so many other people, men

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and women, a lie who could
benefit from your experience. Well, how

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I realized it may or may not
be similar to other people, But I

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have an several intuitive gifts, and
so I knew at a young age what

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ended up being confirmed to me by
other masters, and that is we pick

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up the sole issues of our parents. So at the time of our conception,

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we will pick up whatever issues our
parents have not healed within themselves.

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So I already knew my dad.
I started to reflect. Then I knew

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my dad had workoholism, and I
knew the issues that my mom had.

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So I just one by one started
analyzing myself and saying, where is what

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they have similar to what's going on
with me? And how am I seeing

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that playing out in my own life? So it came to observation, questioning,

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self inquiry, and observation to determine
where is this showing up like little

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sprouts or roots coming up from that
original issue of my parents, So you

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are able to notice yourselves. Let's
say there is somebody who's an alcoholic and

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yep, their spouse and their children, and it could be a man or

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a woman. I'm not happy with
them obviously because family wants their time all

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the looking for his time with them, and let's set this professional or an

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entrepreneur is not giving them. So
how can they get out of it?

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Well, when we look and recognize
what am I getting out of avoiding them,

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you know what am I getting out
of not allowing that connection. So

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in my example, what I was
getting out of choosing work over deeper connection

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with others is that connection with others
was always painful. Love was pain and

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growing up, so it wasn't safe
for me to connect with others that were

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close to me, like family or
people that were in my intimate relationships as

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well, because that always repeats itself
until we heal it. So it's really

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turning it back to ourselves. How
are we gaining by not connecting? And

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one other side note, you mentioned
that our family wants time with us,

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and it depends what kind of person
they are. You know, time is

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time, but quality time I don't
know that anyone actually defined that. And

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that's where it really gets real.
If we're actually able to connect with a

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child, even for a shorter period
of time, they can feel that they

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know that. Same with our spouse
or our other friends and relations. It

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doesn't take hours and hours of time
together when we're actually truly there and with

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us connected within, connected without.
Does that make sense? Oh? Absolutely,

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Like the quality of time is almost
a moment stollen in time. And

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I will share that there's so many
of my friends and I'm blessed to have

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quite a few friends like that that
we will not even talk for a few

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years. Time goes by, you
know, you're in different states, people

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are busy with their lives, and
when we connect, it's almost like the

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time stops and we pick back up
right where we had left. So I

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totally understand it's not the length of
time, it's the quality of time,

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because you could be with someone for
days and days together, and yet if

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you're not enjoying each other's company and
pinpointing, and there are flights and so

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what's the point of having that time
together? It's singing that joy and love

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back into those moments because those moments, once gone, are gone. Yes,

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beautifully said, And just for the
if there's anybody out there who is

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in a relationship with someone who's a
narcissist, that doesn't really apply. And

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I can speak that firsthand, because
you could spend all the time in the

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world with someone who has a narcissistic
personality disorder and you can offer all the

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connection you want to offer, but
you're never going to get the connection because

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they're not connected with themselves. So
you'll be seeking something in pain for years

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and feeling like it's all you and
that there's must be something wrong with you

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that you can't get in, that
can't get a connection or an equality time,

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no matter how much time you spend
with this person. So just yourself

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a break. If you don't know
what narcissistic personality disorder is, look it

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up and start to look into codependency
and enabling because being on the opposite side

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of that and being the enabler to
a codependent with addictions like serious addictions that

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cause themselves harm on bodily level as
well as others. You know, people

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who haven't done it don't understand it, but you can learn about it absolutely.

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Could you speak more to that,
because I'm sure there are a lot

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of women out there and a lot
of men as well, like whether in

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these toxic relationships where nothing they're being
together is not doing anything for one person

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or maybe doing it And as you
talked about the codependency and enabler, that'll

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be very helpful. Well, yes, it kind of goes back to what

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we spoke about earlier when I said, if we have an addiction to anything,

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even if it's enabling, even if
it's codependency, we have to ask

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ourselves what are we getting out of
that? That was the only way I

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knew how to give, because that's
the only way that I could give.

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In my family of origin, it
wasn't reciprocal because they couldn't connect with themselves,

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with my mom being depressed and my
dad being totally disconnected from his own

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emotions, having experiences in war and
just choosing to never disconnect with his emotions

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because he considered that weak. So, because that's all I ever knew,

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I felt like if I could just
eventually keep giving and doing what I'm doing,

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that someone that I would be in
connection with would be able to give

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back. But unfortunately, that's not
the way that life, God or whatever

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you want to call it, created
life. That's not the way it works.

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We actually have to see the cycle
of codependency and addiction in order to

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work ourselves out of it. It's
not going to work itself out by itself.

353
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Yeah, So is there a more
specific question you have about the codependency

354
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and narcissistic dynamic, because there are
so many things to talk about there.

355
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Yeah, let's just kind of look
at from two different perspectives. Like,

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let's say if there is a person
and their bosses like that and what could

357
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they do? Or there's an entrepreneur
and you know, they keep on attracting

358
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the same type of clients and then
they find because I had one of my

359
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clients like that, and that they
take on. They're initially like really really

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thrilled. Yes, you know,
I'm so excited and bringing on this client,

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and then they find that whatever they're
doing is not pleasing either the boss

362
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or the client. So something in
a situation like that, well, when

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we're in a codependent narcissistic relationship looking
to find any type of validation from them

364
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or agreement from them that anything we've
done is right or good, or acknowledgement

365
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that we're worthy or that we have
done enough where we can't look for any

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of those things from them, not
because we're judging them and saying you can't,

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you can't, but because there's a
deeper issue. Narcissists do not have

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a sense of self. What does
that mean? That means that if you

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don't have, for example, a
hand, and you say I want to

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open my hand, so I'm going
to take one finger and open it up,

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and then another one and another one. If we don't have a sense

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of self, which is the hand, there's nothing to open. They can't

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change because there's nothing there. They
haven't taken the time to find out who

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they are on a on a character
level, saying I believe in integrity and

375
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I'm only going to stand for integrity, I believe in honesty, I'm only

376
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going to speak honestlye etc. They
haven't done that. Why is that?

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Because they were probably raised by someone
who made them change in order to be

378
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acceptable, So all they know is
to be a chameleon. So they might

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argue for abortion in one discussion with
someone who believes in that, and then

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they might go five minutes later and
argue the exact opposite with someone else and

381
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speak at it as if it is
them, because it is them. They

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have no sense of interior, skeletal
soul self. They don't have a self.

383
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So it would take severe, cataclysmic
change if that, for them to

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change, because they can't see why
there's anything wrong with their behavior. And

385
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very often they will be very successful
in life and very charismatic, and then

386
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when they get home, it's just
like you flipped a light switch and they

387
00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:53.440
become their other personality and take it
out on you. And you'll see that

388
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:59.640
as a boss, like you talked
about working with someone who has narcissistic personality

389
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disorder, you have to ask yourself, why am I willing to accept this?

390
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Building up our self worth is the
only way to truly get out of

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the cycle. And we have to
do that ourself. No one can do

392
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it for us. That's really a
great point, that there is no sense

393
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of self, and if there is
no moral compass, then what is guiding

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them? There's nothing there to guide
them. Now, actually there is.

395
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There is what's guiding And I don't
mean to I just I want people.

396
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I want people to know this.
There is something guiding them validation, approval,

397
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power, control, money, sex, that's what's guiding them. It's

398
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:53.559
instant gratification in one way or another, and it's usually comes into a very

399
00:32:53.599 --> 00:33:01.640
attractive package. Yeah, and this
is this is important that you know you

400
00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:06.599
realize it that like, no matter
what you have done, it's not going

401
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:12.319
to make a difference. So recognizing
that and making a dissension. As you

402
00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:16.640
talked about, it's not only about
the intention, it's about the implementation of

403
00:33:16.680 --> 00:33:22.880
it and deciding whether to make a
choice or not. And you always usually

404
00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:27.559
you talk about some three you know, three to four tips on overcoming any

405
00:33:27.559 --> 00:33:31.839
types of addiction. Can you shed
light on that. Yes, whether it's

406
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codependency, whether it's workaholism, whether
it's food, whether it's strength, whatever

407
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:44.599
it is. If we can just
take five minutes when we're having that it'sy

408
00:33:44.759 --> 00:33:45.960
feeling of I've got to have it. I've got to have it, no

409
00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:51.279
matter what it is, whether it's
even just looking at our phones right and

410
00:33:51.400 --> 00:33:55.720
just checking what's going on there.
Take five minutes to sit outside, put

411
00:33:55.720 --> 00:34:00.559
your rear end on the ground,
take some deep breaths under that tree.

412
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:07.039
Like our wonderful host expressed the joy
of being with a tree and ask yourself

413
00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:17.679
the question what do I really want? And don't be afraid to just breathe.

414
00:34:19.360 --> 00:34:22.280
You don't have to have an answer, and you don't need to go

415
00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:25.320
searching in your mind for it either. You can't think your way to the

416
00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:29.920
answer. The answer is just going
to come to you out of your heart.

417
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:35.079
And if you think that I'm sounding
ooey gooey and impossible when I say

418
00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:39.159
things like this, you just have
to try it, because until you do,

419
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:43.360
you will be using your mind to
get to your answers for everything,

420
00:34:43.480 --> 00:34:46.280
and logic will not take you there. Check with any of the masters,

421
00:34:46.599 --> 00:34:51.519
you can do your research online.
Thinking will not take you to those deep

422
00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:55.360
kind of answers. Ask yourself,
what do I really want? It is

423
00:34:55.679 --> 00:35:00.400
getting in touch with your intuition and
letting the answer come to you. And

424
00:35:00.440 --> 00:35:06.639
if it doesn't come in once you've
talked about acceptance, being accepting of the

425
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:10.559
thing in the situation, and you
have mentioned something really very powerful over here

426
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:16.559
is taking that pause. And while
you're taking that pause and learning to understand

427
00:35:16.599 --> 00:35:22.920
yourself, and when you understand yourself
as the saying ghost and all thyself,

428
00:35:23.719 --> 00:35:31.880
it makes options more options available and
It also allows you to make choices,

429
00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:37.280
even if it is in tiny,
tiny steps. So tell us, like

430
00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:42.440
you know how you have taken this
knowledge and combined in your books, because

431
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:46.360
I can definitely see it in the
background. Well, thank you after I

432
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:51.440
had come to that tip. I
also work with a physician, doctor what

433
00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:57.679
Quita Callaway, who endorses this tip. She has worked since nineteen ninety in

434
00:35:57.679 --> 00:36:02.079
her private practice, but she also
studied it at emery, and she knew

435
00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:10.559
that she wanted to go into private
practice because medical and other type of conventional

436
00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:17.039
medicines go after symptoms. They're trying
to treat a symptom. They don't treat

437
00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:22.360
the root cause. This tip that
I just mentioned, asking yourself what do

438
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:28.079
I really want? Goes after the
root cause. And think of how powerful

439
00:36:28.119 --> 00:36:32.079
that is that you can ask yourself
the question that is the root cause of

440
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:37.639
why you do that thing that is
harming you, and you are the only

441
00:36:37.719 --> 00:36:40.599
one who can answer that question.
Very powerful, and that's what these books

442
00:36:40.639 --> 00:36:45.039
also do behind you. I've created
thirteen different styles of books. I've got

443
00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:49.639
eleven journals that are on the bottom
self. I've got two different books for

444
00:36:49.719 --> 00:36:53.199
affirmations, one with a journal and
one without it's a copytable book and my

445
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:58.800
deck of cards as well. And
these affirmations are affirmative words that are used

446
00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:02.760
to both challenge some of your existing
beliefs that may not be helpful to you,

447
00:37:02.800 --> 00:37:07.159
that could be limiting, and also
encourage you in your growth and self

448
00:37:07.199 --> 00:37:15.880
worth. Oh that's powerful. So
tell us you have shared, you have

449
00:37:16.039 --> 00:37:22.840
written extensively, and you also have
a deck of cards. What would you

450
00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:29.840
say are some of your favorite affirmations? Oh goodness, my favorite is to

451
00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:35.119
be able to provide affirmations for others. Actually that's the that's the honest answer.

452
00:37:35.320 --> 00:37:38.360
Would you like to have get an
affirmation today? Yeah? Absolutely,

453
00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:45.159
Okay, I've got to go right
back here to my deck of cards,

454
00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:50.360
so you get it's a nice hardcover
box and it's the amur Realists flower that's

455
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:52.960
on the top, and amurialis is. I don't know if anybody under or

456
00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:59.559
knows the floral information of what there's
a meaning behind flowers, and flowers were

457
00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:05.840
actually used medicinally before any type of
pharmaceuticals, so there is an element of

458
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:12.719
easing disease that the amaillists can offer
to us. So you might want to

459
00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:16.480
look up those those qualities of the
amarellists if you have any issues with anxiety,

460
00:38:16.599 --> 00:38:25.599
depression or addictions. So I've got
seventy two cards here, and I'd

461
00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:30.079
love it if you would think of
a question in your mind that you might

462
00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:37.039
like to have an answer or affirmation
to, and think of a question that

463
00:38:37.079 --> 00:38:40.320
you don't mind sharing later for others, if you would, so that you

464
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:45.039
can share that, and then you
tell me when to stop shuffling, and

465
00:38:45.079 --> 00:38:52.360
that'll be your card. Go ahead, stop it, okay. So the

466
00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:59.639
photographs on these cards, there we
go. The photographs are meant to connect

467
00:38:59.719 --> 00:39:05.920
with your subconscious mind because they evoke
feelings. So I'd like for you to

468
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:12.679
feel the feelings within your whole body
when you look at this card. What

469
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:22.119
feelings do you feel? Harmony?
Harmony? That's lovely. Now what about

470
00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:27.960
within your body? Are you can
you sense what's happening within your body?

471
00:39:30.239 --> 00:39:36.039
Yes? Calm, calm, okay, wonderful. All right. Now,

472
00:39:36.039 --> 00:39:38.480
I'm going to flip the card over
and it's going to have words on it.

473
00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:52.400
And that's amazing. It's that's right
in with me. So to share

474
00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:58.440
with us how that fits with what
it is that you asked to Well,

475
00:39:58.559 --> 00:40:01.440
the question was that how can I
bring more of nature in my life?

476
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:07.239
And what I've started doing is just
this week past week, is I'm going

477
00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:15.679
out and sitting in my backyard more
as long as it's not a you know,

478
00:40:15.320 --> 00:40:21.840
podcast or where I'm doing because here
the cardinals, the cardinals are very

479
00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:27.079
very chirpy right now, or the
dogs barking. I don't know how the

480
00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:30.519
audience would take that. So calls
where you know, I'll ask for people's

481
00:40:30.559 --> 00:40:35.280
permation. Are you good if I
go back? So I'm taking some of

482
00:40:35.320 --> 00:40:40.639
my meetings in my backyard and also
trying to like fully charge my computer and

483
00:40:40.679 --> 00:40:45.360
go out there and work. So
that's what's the question. Very good,

484
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:50.599
So that ties in perfectly what it
is that you're asking. And people can

485
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:53.199
use the decks of cards and affirmations
like that, And for example, you

486
00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:58.000
might have a card that card and
just put it up as a reminder maybe

487
00:40:58.039 --> 00:41:01.639
in your bathroom mirror or your desk, so that it's a visual not only

488
00:41:01.719 --> 00:41:07.599
to confirm it on a subconscious level
for you that you heard you that you

489
00:41:07.639 --> 00:41:09.679
want to spend more time in nature, and that you're paying attention, you're

490
00:41:09.719 --> 00:41:15.880
not ignoring your inner needs and inner
wants. And it's also just a little

491
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:19.360
tip, like something to say,
hey, when you look down at it

492
00:41:19.360 --> 00:41:23.639
and see it, it's time to
go outside. Absolutely, Oh, what

493
00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:30.920
a fascinating exercise. Yes, and
you can use the journals as well with

494
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:36.719
that, And so for example,
when you were listening to your inner your

495
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:40.920
body messages, you could ask yourself
how do I feel and write that in

496
00:41:40.960 --> 00:41:45.639
the journal. And then you could
ask yourself what do I think and write

497
00:41:45.639 --> 00:41:50.480
that in the journal, and then
ask yourself what do I want? And

498
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:53.280
some of those questions you might not
have answers to, but just by asking

499
00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:57.079
the question, it'll start to stir
some things up and you'll get to know

500
00:41:57.159 --> 00:42:01.239
yourself even better, if that's possible
for someone like you. Oh, I

501
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:06.800
am at the lowest rung of the
ladder, Lotti, so much more to

502
00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:14.440
learn. Life is a continuous learning
journey and always Yeah, and that was

503
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:21.239
beautiful. So if you were to
part wait some tips or share any of

504
00:42:21.239 --> 00:42:25.880
your other wisdom nuggets as we wrap
it up, please go ahead. I

505
00:42:25.880 --> 00:42:31.599
would just encourage you. You know, there are things we might be afraid

506
00:42:31.639 --> 00:42:38.679
of that are underneath what it is
that we're doing that's harming us. But

507
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:47.320
there's nothing to be truly afraid of
except staying stuck. Because when we're stuck,

508
00:42:47.400 --> 00:42:52.639
nothing is ever going to change.
And if that's good enough, you

509
00:42:52.639 --> 00:42:55.920
can stay there. But if you
want something better, don't be afraid to

510
00:42:57.000 --> 00:43:00.039
take the time to look within.
It's like we don't want to be afraid

511
00:43:00.039 --> 00:43:02.519
of it, Like we're afraid of
the dark when we're a child, and

512
00:43:02.559 --> 00:43:07.320
we are afraid that there's something under
the bed. The monsters under the bed

513
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:10.440
are only things that we're imagining.
Now. I'm not saying that there aren't

514
00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:15.360
things out there that are harmful.
I'm just saying that what's in your mind

515
00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:19.199
isn't something that ought to scare you. If you had just shut the lights

516
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:22.480
out and listen a little longer and
ask yourself some questions, you'll find that

517
00:43:22.519 --> 00:43:30.159
the entire world will open up for
you with them and without beautiful. Thank

518
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:34.800
you for sharing that, and thank
you for joining us today. And where

519
00:43:34.880 --> 00:43:38.719
can people find you? And thank
you so much for asking us? Thank

520
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:43.360
you, thank you. I'd love
to be able to meet anyone in person.

521
00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:47.360
I have my company will You as
an inspirational multimedia company that provides personal

522
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:54.400
growth, adventure, travel tours and
unconditional tips for love so with that said,

523
00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:59.000
you can go to willugrow dot com. You could join me in the

524
00:43:59.079 --> 00:44:02.119
Smoky Mountains of East Tennessee to go
on a tour up in the Smoky Mountain

525
00:44:02.199 --> 00:44:07.360
to take a beautiful hike and do
meditation up there, or in South Carolina

526
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:10.840
on Hunting Island. We'll also have
some other two ravel tours coming up over

527
00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:15.159
the years, So just keep checking
back to will you Grow dot com.

528
00:44:15.280 --> 00:44:17.320
Or if you have a personal question
you'd like to reach out, feel free

529
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:22.519
to go to my website and just
drop me a line there. You can

530
00:44:22.559 --> 00:44:27.599
also see my YouTube channel, will
you Grow Adventure Love So hope to see

531
00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:32.599
you soon. Absolutely, and where
can they find your books and will you

532
00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:37.280
grow dot com? There's a section
there that has my books and and also

533
00:44:37.320 --> 00:44:40.039
if you'd like to sign up for
free affirmations in your inbox once a week,

534
00:44:40.280 --> 00:44:44.599
there's a spot there right up at
the top of the home page where

535
00:44:44.599 --> 00:44:49.559
you can click on that and get
a free delivery of a happy affirmation message

536
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:53.880
in your inbox every Monday morning.
Oh fantastic. Thank you so much Aniley

537
00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:59.360
for sharing you, thank you yes
and joining Thank you. I enjoyed our

538
00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:04.239
conversation. Oh thank you so much, and your stories about the trees are

539
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:10.559
inspirational and very heartwarming for sure.
Oh, thank you and thank you listeners

540
00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:15.840
so blessed to have you in our
lives because we love you and without you,

541
00:45:16.199 --> 00:45:21.639
the show would not be possible.
So reach out to us with any

542
00:45:21.719 --> 00:45:27.679
questions you have and who can we
bring so that you can live the life

543
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:34.800
you deserve and you get the tools
and strategies and inspiration. So reach out

544
00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:37.639
to us as you always do,
and I'm super thankful for that and let

545
00:45:37.719 --> 00:45:40.760
us know. And last, but
none the least, thank you one for

546
00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:45.840
making the show possible. So until
next time, be well and take care.

547
00:45:47.400 --> 00:45:51.760
Thank you for being part of Beyond
Confidence. With your host Devia Park,

548
00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:53.920
we hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you

549
00:45:53.960 --> 00:45:59.199
want. Each week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've

550
00:45:59.239 --> 00:46:04.880
experienced grew by overcoming their fears and
building meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence,

551
00:46:05.039 --> 00:46:07.760
Divia Park shares what happened to her
when she stepped out of her comfort zone

552
00:46:07.760 --> 00:46:12.880
to work directly with people across the
globe. She not only coaches people how

553
00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:17.440
to form hard connections, but also
transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they

554
00:46:17.480 --> 00:46:21.800
strive to live the life they want. If you are ready to live the

555
00:46:21.840 --> 00:46:27.320
life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www dot dvapark dot

556
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:31.519
com and you can connect with Diva
at contact at dvapark dot com. We

557
00:46:31.639 --> 00:46:34.519
look forward to you joining us next
week