Speak Up: How to Captivate Any Audience

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W four WN Radio. This is
Beyond Confidence with your host w park.

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Do you want to live a more
fulfilling life? Do you want to live

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your legacy and achieve your personal,
professional, and financial goals? Well?

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Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders,

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entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped
into discomfort, shattered their status quo,

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and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are the

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key to achieving your aspirations and financial
goals. Moving your career business forward does

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not have to happen at the expense
of your personal or family life or vice

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versa. Learn more at wwdas don't
divpork dot com and you can connect with

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div ant contact at divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's

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your host, div Park. Good
morning listeners, and of course it's Tuesday

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morning and I love being here with
you. So starting out with the kind

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of story just last week when I
was traveling back from New York, get

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up in the morning, all packed, and the first message that I see

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is flight delayed. I'm like,
huh, half an hour. You know,

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it's not a big deal. Within
fifteen minutes, half an hour delayed.

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It just kind of kept on going
and I'm like, Okay. The

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next day I had to be back
because I had in person meetings. I'm

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thinking, okay, what are the
best ways? I call up Delta and

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the person was not so great,
and then I what I did was I

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decided to kind of call back again
to see if I could find another representative.

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It was early in the morning,
not sure if the person had had

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a rough night or whatever. So
now the second person that I call was

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phenomenal, and then she gave me
so many different options that it was mind

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blowing. She said that, okay, if you really have to get back

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today, So it looks like the
flight is when it is, I cannot

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predict. I cannot tell you a
whole lot more. Either I can get

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you a later flight, or I
can fly you out from LaGuardia at the

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time that your current flight was.
And it's just this little, tiny little

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thing for her, but for me
it was a huge thing. So remember

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when we are talking about keeping that
kindness circle going, if you just think

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about the other person, you can
change their lives. I mean that day

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she did everything, she changed it
out for me and my day went so

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beautifully. So here I was thinking
how I was going to get back on

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time. She had taken care of
my issue. So remember, sometimes you

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are just doing your job and thinking
about the personal tadled bit more can really

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make the day a good one.
So thank you for each and every one

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of you who are continuing to take
the kind of circle going. Remember just

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one hour every month. And also, if you have not bought our books,

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get up books, either one of
it Expert to Influencer or The Entrepreneur's

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Garden because they will change your lives. Expert to Influencer will help you become

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the authority, will help you become
the influencer that creates impact and the Entrepreneur's

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Garden is going to allow you to
strengthen all areas of your life, regardless

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where you're at, and you will
help us help with their entrepreneurs grow their

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businesses. Well, let's get started. Let's bring our guests in. Welcome,

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Adriana, good morning, Good morning. I know it's early for you,

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so thank you for joining us.
Oh it's my pleasure. So Adriana,

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tell us if you're a call a
moment from your childhood that still stands

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out for you today. Oh I
love this. I was thinking about this

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this morning, and the thing that
popped into my head was the day that

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I ran for class president my freshman
year of high school. And it sound

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really silly, but in that moment, I think a lot of things happened

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for me that led to where I
am now. And I just remember being

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fourteen, you know, it was
in the nineties. I was wearing my

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little, you know, dress from
Express or something wherever we bought clothes back

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then, and getting up on stage
in front of my whole class and giving

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this speech about why they should vote
for me for this leadership position. And

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I ended up winning. And I
think it was this moment where I realized

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really early on that leadership and communication
were intricately linked and that performance was a

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part of it. So I was
just thinking about that little green dress and

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just sort of, you know,
this mini Hillary Clinton figure up on stage,

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thinking, you know, I'm going
to lead this room of people and

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figuring out how to do it.
Oh, that's such an adorable story.

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So, like you mentioned that you
want and how did that year pan out

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for you? That was great.
I mean I had been an actor as

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a kid all the way from when
I was really really young, and then

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I went to high school, you
know, thinking I'm going to be a

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Broadway star and wanting to be a
post flower. I was always really interested

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in leadership too, so basically I
just got to do both. I got

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to be on the student government and
help lead the school and then also also

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continue to study theater pretty rigorously during
that time. So yeah, it was

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good. So that is fascinating that
you were both, and that again goes

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to say that who says you can't
be all of the things that you want

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to be? Of course you can't
have like, you know, fifteen things

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going at the same time. So
you mentioned that you had aspirations for being

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in theater. So how did that
work out for you? Did you want

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to how did you decide wich to
pursue out of the two patsions. Well,

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I started with theater. I mean
it was really where I felt like

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I could express myself. And I
mean I continued in leadership all the way

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through. By the time I was
sort of in mid high school, I

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realized that I really wanted to be
an artistic director. And that's really the

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boss of a theater company. So
it's the person who's the leader of the

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arts organization but also gets to kind
of set the chart, the course and

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set the mission for the institution,
but also be a creative artist. And

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I started directing, so I moved
from acting to directing, and that's where

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my background is. I studied theater
directing, arts administration all through college and

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graduate school. I have an MFA
in theater directing from Columbia University, and

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that was my career for a long
time. And I did get hired to

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be an artistic director of a theater
company. That's what brought me from New

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York to Portland where I live now, and that was really my pathway.

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And I studied leadership all the way
along because I think it's really interesting to

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be a student of leadership as well
as practicing it. And I was also

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really interested in transitional leadership, so
people, you know, moving from founders

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to the next person, or you
know, when you have one really prominent

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and charismatic leader and then a new
person comes in, how does that transition

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work? Which served me well because
I ended up taking over from a founder

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myself, and then I continue to
do that work for a long time and

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eventually decided to return to freelancing and
started doing public speaking coaching, and a

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lot of the people I work with
now are leaders, entrepreneurs, business owners

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in their own right who are wanting
to lead their organization or grow their business

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and also need to be standing up
on stage. So it's kind of that

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full circle moment of me as a
freshman in high school. We're doing that

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right. So when you talked about
being an artistic director, so many of

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us might not know about it,
Can you share with us what does it

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involve and what did you do and
what were the relationships. Yeah, so

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the artistic director of a theater company
is the person who sets the artistic mission

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for the company. So when you
think about and when I'm talking about this,

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it's the nonprofit regional theater here in
America, although there are artistic directors

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all over the world, but that
was my world. So when you think

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about a theater company, you know, your local company that does a bunch

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of plays, there's somebody at the
helm of that who is choosing what plays

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get produced. They're hiring all the
artists, they're fundraising. That's a huge

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part of it. It's you know, theater companies, mostly in this country,

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are nonprofits. So there's the whole
nonprofit world of relating with a board,

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having you know, being responsible to
your donors and your key stakeholders,

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and representing the organization out in the
community either through fundraising efforts or community building

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efforts. And then on the other
side, on the creative side, you're

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directing plays, You're hiring and casting
actors, you're working with designers. So

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you have kind of a dual focus. One is administrative and fundraising and minding

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budgets and all of that, and
the other is creative and artistic and doing

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the stuff that you see that you
think of when you think of a play

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or a theater, you think,
oh, I'm going to go to the

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theater, I'll sit in the audience, I'll watch the play, and then

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I'll leave. A lot goes into
making that experience possible. Mm hmm.

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That definitely makes sense that how you're
pulling things together. So it looks like,

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you know, you had to interface
with a lot of different people,

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like you know, from sounds like, from being the stakeholders to in the

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day to day interaction. So as
you were working with people, what we're

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one of the few or maybe one
to three lessons that you learned. Oh

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well, one of the things that
I think is really important and certainly goes

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into my coaching work now is that
and I pulled this from my experience directing

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actors, actually, is that every
person you talk to has a slightly different

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language that they speak. And I
don't mean English versus Spanish, although that's

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also true. I mean everybody needs
to hear words in a certain way that

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works for them. And so what
that looks like in a rehearsal room is

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I might I might need to give
the same note to multiple actors, but

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each of those actors might need to
hear that note in a slightly different way.

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Somebody might be more driven by an
emotional experience, or an intellectual experience,

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or a physical experience. So once
you get to know your people,

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you can start to translate your language
for those people. And what I realized

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is that this was really really important
when I was talking to my board of

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directors, because this was a really
diverse group of people coming from all kinds

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of backgrounds, none of them theater
artists. You know. We had bankers

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and real estate agents and you know, tech people and lawyers, and each

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one of those people needed the information
in a slightly different way. So one

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of the things that I think was
so important for me was to figure out

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how I could translate what I needed
to translate in a way that they could

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receive. You know, and we
know this from elementary school, right.

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Some kids are kinesthetic learners, some
kids are visual learners. Some kids,

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you know, can memorize things like
you've got to kind of teach to what

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is there. So that was one
really key key point that I carry with

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me still. And you make a
really good point over here, because here's

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the thing. We forget that we're
speaking to different people. Sometimes people are

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so much in their own head thinking, oh, what are they going to

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think of me? And don't think
about that. Then we transfer the focus

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from us to others and come with
openness and curiosity. Things open up.

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So, now as you took all
of this learning stepped into the public speaking

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area, tell us, you know, public speaking is right there as one

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of the topmost fears that people have. Why is that? Yeah, well,

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not surprisingly. I'm going to answer
that question by saying, for each

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person, it's a little bit different, right, And one of the things

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I think is super super important is
to figure out what it is for you.

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So, if you are a person
who has nerves around public speaking,

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and there's a there's a wide spectrum, right, We've got I'm a little

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bit nervous before I go out on
stage or I start a podcast, interview

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or whatever, it is all the
way to full on nervous systems shut down.

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You know, I'm panicking. I'm
completely terrified of public speaking. And

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I think a lot of people say, you know, oh, I'm afraid

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of public speaking, But that doesn't
necessarily mean that they are they have stage

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fright, or that they have that
kind of you know, clinically diagnosed fear

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fear right phobia. So you've got
to figure out what it is for you,

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So, is it my breathing gets
really shallow and I feel like I

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can't catch my breath. Is it
my words don't come out of my mouth

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the way they are in my head? Is it I don't know where to

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stand, how to hold a microphone, how to make my lighting look good,

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and so I feel at lost?
Is it that I'm insecure about my

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content? Or is it what you
just mentioned prior that you're afraid people are

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judging you. You're afraid of being
seen, you're afraid of being looked at.

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Right, once we figure out exactly
what order of things is freaking you

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out, then we can start working
on tools. Right. But a lot

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of this work, not surprisingly.
I mean, it's so much what you

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talk about, and it's so much
entrepreneurship and leadership is mindset, right,

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it's like what is it for?
What is it for you? In your

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mind? What is going on?
And self awareness is really really important,

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and so I think that's really the
first step is figuring out what it is

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for you that's happening. And sometimes
you have to go outside in to say,

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my breathing gets shallow, Okay,
great, Now we can figure out

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where is that coming from and how
do we address it. Really, that's

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a great point that you mentioned over
here, because if you go from outside

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in, you're seeing the outward experience, outward symptoms of what's going inside.

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And once you're listed out what is
it for you, then slowly, one

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by one you can tackle it.
And as you mentioned that, those butterflies

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don't go away. And I feel
the same way because regardless of how many

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times you've spoken, once you're getting
on the stage, you don't know who

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the people are, and that is
such a heavy contrast. Then we're working

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with people, whether you are in
a corporate job or you're an entrepreneur,

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or whether you're in pta or landscape
or wherever you are, you're dealing with

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people one on one. You know
them, and then you can adjust your

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communication. You can adapt your communication
to that. And when you are doing

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public speaking, there is like audience, whether it's ten, a group of

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ten people, or a room full
of thousand people. So that can be

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daunting. So now when you let's
say they've gone through what you mentioned,

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they've gone through, figured out what's
in the way, figure out how to

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overcome these or learn to work with
them. Now they're on stage so many

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times the question pops up as like
what do I need to sound? So

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for example, I might sometimes think
that my voice doesn't come out right,

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it can be little squeakies at times, or my words are not popping out

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right. So we all know what
are the things that's then in our way?

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So with that, what is one
general thing that they could tell our

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audience that could get them started?
Well, I want to I want to

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address two things that and something you
just said. So I think that one

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of the tips I would love or
the ideas I would love to leave you

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all with today is actually that I
think the most important question that you that

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any of us can act ask before
we do any speaking, whether that's on

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a podcast or on a stage or
one on one, is who am I

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speaking to? And sometimes we think, yes, there's a thousand people out

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there, we can't answer this question. We don't know. But actually I

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think you've got to decide. You
need to decide. Each one of us

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needs to decide or find out who
is it exactly that I'm speaking to.

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And you can't speak to a thousand
people, right like, that's too many

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people. You can't address everybody in
a room of one thousand. You can't

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address everybody in a room of fifty, right, that's too many people.

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So what I work with my clients
on, and this comes straight from the

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theater world, is to figure out
the very most specific answer to the question

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who am I speaking to? And
sometimes that means that you're making it up,

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You're making up a character. You're
like, there's a thousand people out

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here. I'm at this type of
talk. I can get general information from

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the conference organizer or whoever. You
have a general idea of who's out there,

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and then what you say is,
Okay, I'm going to create a

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character of a person that is the
exact right person for my message, and

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you deliver your speech or your message
to that specific character. Now, sometimes

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you're lucky and you actually know somebody
who's there, and you say, great,

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you know, Diviya is there.
I'm going to give my talk directly

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to her. She is my target
audience. Now, the thing that that

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does is it eliminates that feeling that
like, oh, it's a wash,

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it's a wall, it's a tsunami
of crazy, scary, bad judge people

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coming at me, and it turns
them into, to use a theater term,

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your scene partner. It turns it
into your communication partner in that moment.

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It also helps you specify your language, because you can't speak generally to

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everybody and have everybody receive your information. The more specific we get with our

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language, the better our message lands, even if the character we're talking to

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is not the person who receives the
information. And I can give you an

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example, it's pretty simple. So
say you're somebody who is giving a talk

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about your skincare business, and your
skincare product is really targeted toward women in

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their twenties, but your audience is
a bunch of is like mixed, right,

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it's all kinds of people. It's
maybe, I don't know, a

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TED talk or a community engagement opportunity
something. You can still decide that your

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audience is a twenty five year old
woman who looks exactly like your target client.

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The ninety percent of people in that
room who are not that person are

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still going to be able to clearly
see and hear your message because you're so

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clear about who you're talking to.
And I'm forty one, so I'm not

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your target audience. But I might
say like, oh, my younger cousin,

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this sounds like the perfect thing.
For her or my sister or my

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mom or nobody. But the next
time I think about you, I know

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exactly what you are and who you're
talking to. Right, So that specificity

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of who your audience is is a
major hack for dealing with all of the

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levels, right, your content,
your messaging, but also that nervousness that

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who who's out there? It feels
really a morphous And then you asked a

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really great question about what about when
I go out and my voice sounds funny

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or I don't you know all this
kind of technical stuff. The main thing

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that I work with people on to
deal with that is like pure skills building.

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And one key thing that I think
most people forget to do or don't

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even know that they should do,
is vocal and physical and breath warm ups

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before they go out to speak,
because all the examples that you gave,

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and I do this before, I
did this this morning, I do this

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before I'm going to speak on a
podcast or a TV interview or anything.

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Right, we are our own instruments. When you go to the symphony and

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the orchestra comes out on stage before
the performance, and the trumpet player is

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practicing scales and the violinist is practicing
little pieces of the thing that's them warming

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up their actual instruments. For us, our body, our breath, and

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our voice are our instruments. That's
how we're getting our message across. And

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we can get better through skills building
around all those things. But you know,

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I jumped onto this call at six
fifty five am. I hadn't spoken

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yet today, So for a few
minutes before I got on here, I

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did some breath work. I did
some vocal exercises to make sure that I

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could articulate words on this call,
right, And we don't think we were

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so in our heads, and especially
when we're on zoom or a box right

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right now, you can only see
my head and my shoulders, but there's

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a whole bunch more of my body
that's actually participating in my message giving.

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We need to treat our bodies like
the tools and the instruments they are and

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actually do that homework. And it
can be really fast. It can do

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you know, just a few minutes
or even one minute if you don't have

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any other time, can make a
big difference. Absolutely, some good points

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over there, and what you're sharing
is absolutely right on the mark that if

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you always share with my clients as
well that if you are an entrepreneur,

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you have your ideal client avatar.
So similarly, if you're doing public speaking,

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think about, as you mentioned,
who is your ideal avatar in that

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in the sense that why are they
there for the conference, for the event,

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what might they be looking for,
what is it the outcome that they

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want? And then focusing on one
person as you mentioned, and then what

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happens is as you narrow it down
from the broad spectrum down to the knowing

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it to one person, Definitely,
people will connect with little pieces of your

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talks. It may not resonate entirely, but they will connect. Then they'll

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be able to relate to it.
Now, coming to the vocal exercises that

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you mentioned, can you share a
couple that people can do quickly right before

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they're a meeting or because so many
times when people are in meetings and they're

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scared to speak up. Mm hm
yes, So I will share a few,

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and then I also have a ton
of free videos of each of these

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things. So if you're listening on
the podcast and you're not watching us,

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you may need the visual help on
some of these, So you can go

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to my website and there's free tools
and a link to my Instagram page where

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I post a lot of of video
tutorials about how to do this stuff.

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So prefacing that, but let's just
try a couple and yeah, especially if

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it's visual, because so this way, you know, people are not figuring

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it out while listening to it.
Yeah yeah, okay. So the first

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is the most simple, and this
is a breathing exercise that you've probably heard

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of. This is it's called square
breathing or box breathing. Oh yeah.

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And the reason I love this as
a warm up, there's three reasons.

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One is it has the added benefit
of downregulating your nervous system. So if

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you're somebody who's nervous or feeling any
kind of anxiousness, this is a great

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tool to let your body and subconscious
know that you are safe and calm.

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The second thing is it helps you
connect with your breath, and of course

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the voice does not exist without the
breath, so we first always have to

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start with breathing. And the third
thing is you just mentioned being in a

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meeting and speaking up. This is
something you can do at any time,

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anywhere, and no one will know
that you're doing it, So it's kind

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of like my little secret superhero tool. And so it's really really simple.

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All you do is you inhale.
So the way I teach it is account

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of four. So you inhale for
account of four, hold your breath for

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account of four. Exhale for account
of four, hold your breath for account

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of four. So it's a box. So I'll just do it with you,

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and as you're listening, you can
do it along with us. So

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we go inhale two three four,
hold two three four. Exhale two three

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four, hold two three four,
And that's it. And you can do

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that. That takes about sixteen seconds
or less. You can do it four

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times. It takes one minute,
and already you've done all of the work

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that I just mentioned just by breathing. I always encourage people to inhale through

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their nose and exhale through their mouth
because that's where our voice comes from.

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So it's reminding your breath, your
brain, and your body to connect together

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that we inhale support and we exhale
it or message it out of our mouths.

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So I really encourage you to practice
that now. For me, I

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will say sometimes that holding breath after
the exhale is really hard, So just

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make it work for you. Even
if you just inhale and exhale and even

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measure, it will do that work
for you. The second one I really

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really love, and this is the
one I did this morning because it's really

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simple and easy to do, is
called horse breath. And this is where

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I sometimes think the video can be
really helpful. But what I describe it

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as is it's blowing air through your
lips, kind of like you're a horse

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or blowing bubbles underwater. So it
looks like it, right, So you'll

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notice if you ever think of like
a frustrated little kid or even yourself when

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you're annoyed at traffic and you just
go puah, often what happens. And

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this is a total subconscious thing that
just is again a nervous system and subconscious

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awareness thing. Our bodies release nervous
energy that way. The reason why I

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love it for public speaking is it
is a way to warm up your vocal

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cords without putting any strain on them
at whatsoever. So what we first do

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is we just inhale through our nose
and then we horse breath out our mouths

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and yeah, yeah good. I
love it. If you do it,

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you know, you try to do
it as long as you can, the

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exhale as long as you can.
Most people notice that their nose starts itching,

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and that's a good sign. That
means you're doing a great job.

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So if that happens, you're doing
it right. Then the next thing that

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I'll do so I'll just do that
really easy, just you know, Oh

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that's a simple one. Yeah,
because I fright some warm up exercises and

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there's so long that I end up
not doing it. Ah, these are

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why I like the short stuff.
So the next thing you can do with

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horse breath is you just vocalize up
and down your your range, your vocal

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register. And again, this doesn't
put any strain on your vocal cords.

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So if you've got a sore throat
or you're just really it's you're really tired,

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or it's early, just and you
just try to play. A nice

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thing too about doing that is that
it reminds you you have a high range

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of your voice. You also have
a low range of your voice, and

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as you're getting to know your instrument
better, you'll start, you know,

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especially if you're working with somebody who
can give you some reflection, you'll start

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to notice that you have a wider
range of speaking volume and of speaking tone

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then you might normally speak and we
usually only use, you know, twenty

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percent maybe of our vocal range.
We kind of stay right in the middle

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where it's comfortable. But when we
want to make points, sometimes you want

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to drop down and make that point. Sometimes you want to get excited and

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share something up here, right,
So when you do the vocal warm up

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exercise that's just up and down your
register, it just again kind of opens

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up the possibility. So those are
my two favorites to get started. I

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always start with their no matter what
I'm doing, and then we add things

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depending on what kind of speaking it
is. You know, I've got a

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microphone six inches from my face today, so I don't have to do a

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lot of worrying about volume or projection
today. But if I was going into

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a theater, I would and that
would be a different set of tools.

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But I'm really of the mindset that
you can come up with a five minute

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max vocal and physical warm up that
works for you and just use it every

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time. It doesn't have to be
a big deal. Well, those are

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simple, easy, I'm definitely going
to try it. Out, and I'm

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sure that our audience will be trying
it out as well. So you mention

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often that one of the ways to
remove the fear of speaking is having a

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structure, and that there are three
dates. Yes, okay, so this

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is my favorite thing to teach about, which is the concept that within structure

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there is freedom. I really really, really really believe that by creating outlines

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and creating structure, scaffolding, a
frame, whatever visual works for you,

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once you have that structure figured out, you can have an incredible amount of

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creative freedom and freedom to respond in
the moment to what is happening around you.

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And so what that might look like
is, for example, for almost

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this is this is funny considering that
I started as a theater director working exclusively

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with scripted material eight percent of the
time. I want to tell public speakers

398
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to not memorize their scripts and instead
to work from a list of bullet points

399
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or a direction that they are headed. And the visual that I love to

400
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use for this is a map.
So because we're in the US, all

401
00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:24.360
let's I will use a map of
the US, but insert your favorite country

402
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here. That if we were going
to use the map as a visual metaphor

403
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for our speech, or our presentation
or a message. I would say,

404
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So I'm up here in the Pacific
Northwest. Let's say I was going to

405
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drive to New York. Along the
way, I'm going to stop in Denver,

406
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Dallas, and Chapel Hill, North
Carolina, going the long way,

407
00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:57.119
right, So I know that I
have five places that I am going to

408
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go. I'm starting here, I've
got three places in the middle, and

409
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I'm ending in New York. Now
I'm going to set off and my first

410
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:07.239
destination is Denver. Well, I
could drive however I want to Denver.

411
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:09.639
I could go north, a little
bit, south, a little bit,

412
00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:13.599
I could stop at a museum for
a day, but I know that I'm

413
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:19.519
heading to Denver and so on from
there. So same thing in your speeches.

414
00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:23.159
You know your key points. You
can if you know where you're headed,

415
00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:28.559
you can pretty much handle everything.
You can handle them dropping a tray

416
00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:31.119
of coffee cups in the back corner. You can handle people laughing in a

417
00:36:31.159 --> 00:36:37.920
place you didn't expect, right.
You can handle forgetting what point you were

418
00:36:37.960 --> 00:36:43.199
trying to make because you know where
you're headed next. So that is really

419
00:36:43.239 --> 00:36:47.679
really key. And I think a
lot of people think that if they create

420
00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:53.679
too much structure, they're not going
to be creatively interesting, but it's actually

421
00:36:53.719 --> 00:37:00.000
not, it's the opposite. Actors
are working with scripts that's a huge amount

422
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:04.480
structure. They're working within the confines
of a stage. They're working within the

423
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.440
confines of their character. And yet
we would never say, Wow, they're

424
00:37:07.480 --> 00:37:13.880
not creative or they're not interesting.
Right, so they have all these rules

425
00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:17.480
and structures around them that allow them
to then show up. It has authentically

426
00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:21.440
them. And I know that you
know, authentic is a big word for

427
00:37:21.519 --> 00:37:28.559
you, right, and we can't. I really have seen that it is

428
00:37:28.599 --> 00:37:34.440
almost impossible to show up authentically and
show up as ourselves when we don't have

429
00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:40.519
a little bit of sort of scaffolding
in place to help us with that.

430
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:46.360
That definitely makes sense, And because
think about it, as you mentioned about

431
00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:51.639
if you know that you're going to
Colorado, you know where you're going to

432
00:37:51.719 --> 00:37:59.039
take orn halls or rich hotels to
book on your way, what food places.

433
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:05.320
Just kind of having those destinations lets
you know where you're going. And

434
00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:10.239
I really agree with you about not
memorizing the script, because if you memorize

435
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:14.519
the script, then you will sound
more like robotic because I did that in

436
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:19.159
one of my first speaking engagements.
I gotta be perfect, and I gotta

437
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:25.119
And then what happened was, after
I was done speaking, somebody came and

438
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:31.840
said, oh my god, it
sounded so mechanistic. It didn't it didn't

439
00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:37.400
seem like it was you. And
so that was a good learning lesson for

440
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:40.599
me is that if you have points, it's key to remember that your audience

441
00:38:40.599 --> 00:38:44.119
doesn't know what point you're going to
make. So if you miss, you

442
00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:49.360
miss, as long as there is
continuity and flow to it. So you've

443
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:55.119
mentioned three, So one is structure, what else is sure? So so

444
00:38:55.159 --> 00:39:00.239
the three kind of areas that I
think are really important to focus on.

445
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:07.000
And when you kind of address all
three, I think you can kind of

446
00:39:07.039 --> 00:39:12.679
speak to anybody anywhere at any time. The first, and I think about

447
00:39:12.679 --> 00:39:16.079
this in kind of concentric circles coming
from me at the center and out from

448
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:21.000
there. So the first is the
first, and you can think of them

449
00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:24.039
as buckets or circles. So the
first bucket is me, right, is

450
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:30.599
my voice, my body, my
my words, my how do I hold

451
00:39:30.599 --> 00:39:34.960
the microphone? And where are my
feet? Where am I in space?

452
00:39:35.159 --> 00:39:38.840
So it's all of those things.
The things that are like the skills building

453
00:39:38.880 --> 00:39:43.559
around vocal warm ups. Right,
it's everything that's the closest to your body,

454
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:46.239
your voice, your breath. Then
the second circle, and this is

455
00:39:46.280 --> 00:39:52.079
where I think entrepreneurs generally are the
strongest and leaders are the strongest. And

456
00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:57.480
that's content. That's the actual words
that you're saying. That's your message,

457
00:39:57.800 --> 00:40:02.440
that's your you know, your slide, your examples, right, that's all

458
00:40:02.840 --> 00:40:07.719
the words piece your mission. And
then the third which we've talked about,

459
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:14.440
is the audience. Who are you
talking to where? And also where are

460
00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:19.320
they physically in this room? Because
that's a thing that people often miss is

461
00:40:19.639 --> 00:40:23.480
they think about public speaking as just
themselves on the stage or themselves in the

462
00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:29.679
front of the room. They don't
think about what that space in between them

463
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:31.559
and the back of the room,
which is where all the people are.

464
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:38.960
So there's some considerations about the audience
physically, about the audience energetically, and

465
00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:43.760
about the audience sort of emotionally in
what they're giving back to you or not

466
00:40:43.880 --> 00:40:50.440
giving back to you. And so
when each of those three areas is thought

467
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:55.480
about and tended to, that's kind
of the combination that gives you the public

468
00:40:55.519 --> 00:41:04.320
speaking success. People are stronger at
one or two, and then what they

469
00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:07.039
need to do is that, you
know, as we talked about the beginning,

470
00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:12.480
that self identification piece where they figure
out what where are where am I

471
00:41:12.599 --> 00:41:16.559
strongest? And how do I bring
those other areas up in strength as well.

472
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:28.480
H Absolutely, this is so much
value that you have provided, so

473
00:41:28.519 --> 00:41:31.079
thank you for that. If people
wanted to get in touch with you,

474
00:41:31.320 --> 00:41:35.519
what's the best way to do that, and if you want to share a

475
00:41:35.559 --> 00:41:44.519
gift. Yeah, So I have
everything under the umbrella of Claim center Stage.

476
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:50.559
That's the name of my business and
you can find me and the organization

477
00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:54.719
at Claim center stage dot com.
On claim center stage dot com. If

478
00:41:54.719 --> 00:42:00.360
you click on free tools, there
are a few free downloads. One of

479
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:05.800
them is a guided grounding meditation,
So for those of you who are having

480
00:42:05.800 --> 00:42:09.800
a hard time with nerves, like
we talked about right at the beginning,

481
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:14.920
that would be the one for you. It's just a five minute grounding meditation

482
00:42:15.039 --> 00:42:20.360
to use before any speaking event.
And I've also got a few other freebies

483
00:42:20.440 --> 00:42:24.599
and tools on the website and links
to a bunch of stuff there, including

484
00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:30.280
how to get in touch with me. Thank you for sharing that. Do

485
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:36.599
you have any one or two tips
that you'd like to share. Yeah,

486
00:42:36.760 --> 00:42:45.679
I would say one thing that I
always like to leave people with is this,

487
00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:52.320
You can speak like a human and
people will listen. So there is

488
00:42:52.559 --> 00:42:59.400
no need for you to come up
with a public speaking personality or play the

489
00:42:59.519 --> 00:43:04.239
character of somebody else, or pretend
to be somebody or not in order for

490
00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:09.559
people to lean in and listen.
This is what I tell introverts who are

491
00:43:09.719 --> 00:43:15.239
who think that they can't be good
at public speaking. They absolutely can be

492
00:43:15.239 --> 00:43:17.679
because they're showing up as themselves.
And when you show up as yourself,

493
00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:24.079
we love flawed people. We love
real people being real in front of us.

494
00:43:24.559 --> 00:43:30.360
That's why we watch TV and movies
and plays. So if there's one

495
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:34.239
thing I want to leave people with, it's just the knowledge that that is

496
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:37.800
what makes you interesting. It is
what makes people lean in, and it's

497
00:43:37.840 --> 00:43:46.199
what makes people want to hear more
of your story. M Absolutely that is

498
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:57.280
beautiful, and remember their audience that
we're all perfectly imperfect, and it's okay

499
00:43:57.400 --> 00:44:02.480
to own it up because we would
not be able to evolve and become better

500
00:44:04.239 --> 00:44:12.559
if we were totally perfect. So
just show up as yourself and we love

501
00:44:12.599 --> 00:44:16.440
you and reach out to us let
us know how can we support you,

502
00:44:16.719 --> 00:44:22.159
how can we help you achieve your
goals and make your dreams a reality?

503
00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:27.239
So thank you Adriana. Thank you
to your audience for being part of our

504
00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:30.800
lives because without you, the show
would not be possible. And think you

505
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:35.920
on for making the show technically possible. Take care and be well until next

506
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:38.639
time. Thank you for being part
of Beyond Confidence. With your host,

507
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:43.039
Diva Park, we hope you have
learned more about how to start living the

508
00:44:43.159 --> 00:44:46.039
life you want. Each week on
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real

509
00:44:46.079 --> 00:44:52.920
people who've experienced growth by overcoming their
fears and building meaningful relationships. During Beyond

510
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:57.039
Confidence, Divpark shares what happened to
her when she stepped out of her comfort

511
00:44:57.119 --> 00:45:00.320
zone to work directly with people across
the globe. She not only coaches people

512
00:45:00.360 --> 00:45:06.880
how to form herd connections, but
also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as

513
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:09.280
they strive to live the life they
want. If you are ready to live

514
00:45:09.320 --> 00:45:15.960
the life you want and leverage your
strengths, learn more at www Dotwpark dot

515
00:45:15.960 --> 00:45:21.440
com and you can connect with vat
contact at Dwpark dot com. We look

516
00:45:21.480 --> 00:45:22.199
forward to you joining us next week,