Transforming Trauma

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W four WN Radio. This is
Beyond Confidence with your host w park.

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Do you want to live a more
fulfilling life? Do you want to live

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your legacy and achieve your personal,
professional, and financial goals? Well?

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Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders,

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entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped
into discomfort, shattered their status quo,

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and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are the

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key to achieving your aspirations and financial
goals. Moving your career business forward does

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not have to happen at the expense
of your personal or family life or vice

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versa. Learn more at wwdas you
don't divpark dot com and you can connect

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with vat contact eddvpark dot com.
This is beyond confidence and now here's your

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host, Dvpark. Good morning,
It's Tuesday, and I'm here and excited

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to be with you. So I
when I share some exciting news. It

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came from one of our audience.
Yes, her name is Jenny. And

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what Jenny shed was that she had
never thought about going ahead and thinking about,

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like you know, just having a
designated one hour of kindness circle.

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So she decided to sign up for
a human for habitat. And she decided

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that, like you know, she
was going to go and learn about not

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only you know, how the houses
are pulled together, but be part of

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that. And here's what I want
to share. Jenny. I'm so so

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proud of you and thank you for
sharing your story. So she signed up

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for one and now she has signed
up to volunteer every month for several hours.

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So Jenny could as to you and
I'm so excited for you because Jenny

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also shared that she was helping to
build those houses. Now she can do

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so many things around her own house
that she is so thrilled and filled with

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joy. So thank you. So
that's the power of being in kindness circle.

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So as I always invite you,
be sure to take that one hour

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of your time and spread it out
over the whole month. Think about it.

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Even if fifty million people just in
the US alone were to do that,

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it would be fifty million hours.
Can you imagine the power of that

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move momentum that could bring and the
movement we could create. So here's the

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thing, folks, Do it and
then share your story with us, and

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if you're okay, give us your
first name, last name, we are

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happy to give you a shout out. Jenny asked us to keep her last

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name undisclosed, so we didn't share. But Jenny, I'm sure that as

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you listen, you are going to
be thrilled that you are inspiring so many

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other people and so many other folks
to do what you have done. So

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thank you to each and every one
of you who have got her books Expert

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to Influencer and the Entrepreneur's Garden,
because they are going to help you possition

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yourself as the person you want regardless
of where you are in your life,

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have that great relationship and bring that
joy in your life, and also become

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the influencer, just not an influencer
with numbers of likes or views or any

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of that sort, but an influencer
who impacts and leaves a lasting legacy.

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So if not got you our books, please do so. Help us support

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the message and let's spread the message. And also remember that the partial profits

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from these books do go to Keywa
dot org. And let's get started with

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our show today. Welcome Andrea.
Thank you. It's great to be here.

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Oh, it's awesome to have you. So usually we get started with

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a moment in childhood. Do you
recall any moment or a person from your

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childhood that's still is as fresh for
you as if it was yesterday. Well,

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I have several. Some impacted me
in a really great way, and

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some impacted me in a way that
created a low sense of self worth.

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So I think everybody has had that
experience, right. I had a family

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of origin where there was a lot
of conflict and a lot of shaming.

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But my grandmother, my mother's mother, who I saw maybe once or twice

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a year, was so unconditionally loving. And I remember one night when I

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was really struggling. I was twelve
years old. I was cleaning the dining

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room table after a family meal,
and my grandmother was helping me, and

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she said something along the lines of
Andrea, it doesn't matter you know what

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anyone else thinks or says. I
love you, I believe in you.

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And basically she just sort of sprinkled
magic in my heart by the way that

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she energetically showed up and the comments
that she made. It was beautiful.

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Wow, it's so beautiful, right, a few words, and it can

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be either a bomb to a kid's
heart and fill them with their hearts or

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for that matter, for anyone right
right, versus when you sprinkle that bitterness

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that can pull people down. Yeah. So, as you grew up,

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were there any desired dreams that you
have? I had the dream of being

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on stage like the Brady Bunch.
I wanted to be on stage. I

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wanted to be seen and heard and
affirmed, right, which is what all

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of the characters on The Brady Bunch
were, and which I didn't have going

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on in my family of origin.
I didn't feel seen, I didn't feel

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heard, and I didn't feel affirmed. So watching that family on TV,

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I felt compelled to be on stage
and it has impacted my life forever.

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I ended up starting to be in
front of the camera when I was fourteen

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yearsyears old and I worked as an
international fashion model all over the world starting

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at age sixteen for a decade,
and it was interesting because I do work

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with families and the lack of getting
what we need as children can often drive

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us to the careers we choose,
to the relationships we're in, the way

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we parent, the way we show
up for ourselves, and in this case,

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for me, not feeling seen,
heard and affirmed as a child,

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being in front of the camera on
stage was what I did to nurture that

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part of me that didn't get my
needs met as a kid. And it

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wasn't always in such a positive way
either. I mean being in that industry

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as a fashion model at age sixteen
and traveling all over the world by myself

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was it tunity for all sorts of
crazy things to happen, and they did.

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So tell us how did you get
into the fashion because at a tender

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age of fourteen, so many young
girls have got no clues where they want

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to go. I do, yeah, yeah. So while when I was

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twelve years old, I was in
a photography class at my school. I

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was in seventh grade, and I
chose to be the model, not the

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photographer, And when the photographs came
back, I looked at myself and I

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had never really seen myself as a
model. I didn't even necessarily know what

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one was. I just knew that
what I saw on print looked good to

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me. And over the next two
years, I started playing with makeup and

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wearing my mom's clothes. And then
the conflict in my family home was so

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great, especially between myself and my
father, that I had been put in

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therapy and was medicated at age twelve. By the time I was fourteen,

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the conflict was so great that even
my therapist didn't object to me leaving home,

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and the world outside of my family
home felt safer to me than the

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world inside my family home. So
I ended up moving in with a girlfriend,

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and I used to take the bus
after school to a modeling agency where

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I worked as a receptionist at age
fourteen, and then I met a makeup

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artist who was He liked to dress
in women's clothing, and he taught me

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how to dress and to model and
to do my hair and makeup, and

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as a result of that, I
put together a portfolio with the help of

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some photographers that were local, and
he put me on a greyhound bus when

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I was fourteen years old to Chicago, where I auditioned and got the cover

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of a beauty magazine when I was
fourteen, And that was what really launched

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me, was his belief in me, was my desire to be seen and

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heard and affirmed, and that launched
me into a career where at age sixteen,

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I got a contract to go work
and model in Asia. And then

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after that I lived in Manhattan and
worked there for almost a year, and

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then moved to Paris and worked there
for a year, and then came back

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to the United States and lived and
operated from the Chicago area where there was

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a lot of catalog work, and
ended up in Los Angeles, eventually working

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toward an an acting career. Wow, that is impressive. So on one

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hand, I'm sorry that you went
through what you went through, and on

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another hand, it just makes me
so proud of that fourteen year old which

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took the matters in her hand and
carved it life out of it. Was

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like meths, you know, she
made I will my goodness, that is

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just amazing. Thank you for sharing
that and being so vulnerable. Yeah.

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So, Henria, like you know, you said that. I mean,

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on the outside, it looks like, oh, you had it, you

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got it, and you did it. You mentioned that there were some things

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that could go orrie, So would
you be open to sharing that what it's

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some things that could go wet?
Did you say? You know, you

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mentioned that that some things could go
in the wrong direction, they could take

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a wrong turn. Yeah. Then
you are so young and outside. So

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there may be young girls right who
may be hearing about this and like,

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oh, yeah, I can do
that. So it's also important for them

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to see what can be the other
side. Absolutely. I started self medicating

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at a very young age with substance. I started smoking weed and engaging in

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cocaine I had. I was a
lingerie model, primarily I worked with Elite

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Models, which is a very well
known agency, and I was needed to

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be very slender, have that hour
glass figure. And so as a young

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person, I didn't you know,
I didn't feel like I was I felt

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like I could do anything right,
and so I did. I stayed up

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late and partied. I dated rock
musicians. I dated the bass guitars from

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Pink Floyd. I worked, you
know, and I worked, and I

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partied hard, and it wasn't until
I was twenty one years old and my

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younger brother died of a drug and
alcohol related car accident that I started to

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change my ways. I made a
commitment to myself to give up the drugs

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and I did. It was but
it was six years before that that I

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was really, you know, doing
a lot of drinking and drugging and it

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wasn't healthy at all for sure,
you know. I mean there are girls

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that don't do that who are models, Girls like Cindy Crawford. She and

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I did some lingerie modeling together for
a company called I Magnin, which is

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a very old but well known and
well loved department store, and it was

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nationwide and she was constantly in that
catalog. And I used to go work

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with her at Victor Scrubnewsky's studio and
she would be doing her homework. She

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was going to college, and she
had a whole different mindset, a very

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business minded woman, and we can
see her successes today that you know,

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she made the decision to take care
of herself. And she had a very

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strong family as well, which was
helpful, I think to guide her.

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I think she was really encouraged to
put school first, even though she was

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making it big as a model,
which was great for her. Very big

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contrast between the two of us.
I'll tell you, well, your turn

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a drown, that's what matters.
And what would your message be for the

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young ones? If you feel compelled
to self medicate, to party, to

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use drugs and alcohol, to in
a way that makes you feel at ease

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and more comfortable socially and with your
peers, that is a sign that there

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are some some there's a need for
you to get some emotional support, to

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go and talk with a professional about
what it is that makes you feel like

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you can't socialize without those substances.
A lot of times, when we grew

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up in homes where we are not
affirmed and we are not acknowledged, where

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it's not safe to feel vulnerable,
it's not safe to talk about our feelings,

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we don't feel secure, and we
end up believing that we don't have

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a lot of self worth and it
might not be conscious right. For instance,

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my dad told me when I became
an adult and we ended up having

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some conversations about what life was like
for me as a child, he said,

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well, you were the most confident
woman a young person. Excuse me,

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and had so much high self esteem. And I said, no,

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Dad, I was driven by the
sense of not being good enough to prove

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that I was, that I was
desirable, to prove that I was wanted

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to basically fit into somewhere, you
know, because I didn't fit in at

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home. It had nothing to do
with self esteem, you know. And

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he said, well, you traveled
all over the world, and I said

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yes, because I was seeking a
place to belong, not because I mean,

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it was a combination, right,
Like, there was a part of

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me that definitely loved the excitement and
the glamor and all that stuff. But

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I think under it all, I
was driven by this sense of I don't

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feel safe in the world. So
I did self medicate. I don't feel

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safe with other people because I didn't
feel safe with my main family of origin,

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so why would I feel safe with
other people emotionally, and so self

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medicating for somebody is often a sign
of or it is a sign of having

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trauma, emotional trauma. You know, there's different kinds of trauma, right

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Sometimes people think of trauma as big
T trauma where you know, there's been

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serious physical violence or sexual violence,
which is very common in our world.

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Unfortunately. But at the same time, just regularly being told, you know,

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shame on you. How could you
with these critical tones of voice and

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eye contact that you know, the
way people see us when we're children causes

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our mirror neuron if people understand what
that is. But we do have something

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called a mirror neuron in our brain, and the way that we're looked at

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physically by other people tells us a
lot about what our value is, right,

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and so we have work to do. If we're self medicating, it

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just simply means that we need to
go in and heal the part of us

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that feels unworthy. M No,
you hit a point that's close to many

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many people. And here's the thing
that regardless wherever you are in your life,

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whether you are ten, fifteen,
twelve, sixty seventy five, our

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self worth is important. And as
you mentioned, it's important to be seen,

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heard, and affirmed. And at
the same time, as you mentioned

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that, if you're experiencing any of
the things, it's important to seek help

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so that you can anchor within yourself, that you can create that grounding so

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that you are able to live the
life that you deserve. So now as

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you grow up, you know you
had a turning point. What followed later,

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Well, the turning point again was
my brother's passing, and it I

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reevaluated the life I was living in
Chicago and decided that I was going to

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go back to Asia and model because
for some reason, I felt like I

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was at home there. I felt
loved there. When you're a Caucasian young

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person in Tokyo, you are revered
to some degree, and I felt really

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revered while I was there. So
I left Chicago, went back to Tokyo,

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hung out with the bass guitars of
Pink Floyd, who was doing the

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Wall tour at the time, at
the Buddhican, and I was really excited

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to see him there. And then
when he and I both returned at separate

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times to the United States, he
asked me if I would fly out to

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LA and meet him there because he
was doing bass guitar on one of Madonna's

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albums, and I said yes,
So I came out to LA and after

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he left, I just decided I
could never go back to Chicago. I

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was in love with the temperature and
the beauty out here, and I've been

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out here ever since. So that
was the beginning of a huge turning point.

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But I ended up working here as
an actress and as a model,

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and I met the father of my
children. He was forty years old and

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I was twenty seven, and he
was exciting and charming and handsome and successful.

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But what I didn't realize was that
he was somebody who was struggling with

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substance use disorder, and that didn't
come out, and I didn't even realize

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what substance use disorder was. Even
though my brother's accident was related to drugs

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and alcohol, there it was never
acknowledged. It was just a car accident

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that he died from. But it
wasn't until I was in my own recovery

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that I recognized, Oh no,
for over a year, he had been

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struggling with cocaine himself and alcohol from
the time he was fifteen or sixteen,

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and he passed when he was seventeen. So when I met my husband,

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the father of my children, I
just thought he was just this charming,

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gregarious, fun guy right who liked
to enjoy wine. And it wasn't until

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I saw him black out, drink
drink and black out that I recognized there

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was a problem. But I still
didn't know anything about addiction, and it

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wasn't you know until I went to
therapy and found out, you know,

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that that's what he was dealing with. And in fact, when I started

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going to the twelve step rooms of
alan On, I worked that program,

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the allan On program, and I
actually think it contributed to the destruction of

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my family and my relationship with him. I work a totally different approach to

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family recovery. I don't believe in
letting our loved ones hit bottom. I

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don't believe in letting them and detaching
from them. It's not a program that

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helps to heal the family unit.
It actually causes polarization and conflict. And

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we can't afford to do that these
days, especially with fentanyl being in the

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works, because letting your loved one
hit bottom, when you know ten minutes

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from now they could go out and
smoke weed that was laced with fentanyl,

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is a death sentence. You can't
afford to do that. But even back

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then, we're talking nineteen eighty nine
or nineteen ninety, the listening to the

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anger in those rooms and I went. I actually went for five years to

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alan On because that's what I was
told to do by my therapist and if

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I could go back and wave a
magic wand I would undo all of it,

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because today I have a great relationship
with my former spouse, and we've

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been divorced for thirty years or thirty
two years, and I know that if

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I had, if I had use
the tools that I have today, things

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would have turned out differently because he
is sober today and we've been a close

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family for at least a decade,
even though we're no longer together. And

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that's what comes. You know,
you have had a rough time. I

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can't even imagine being twenty one and
hearing about your brother, and it's really

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sad what you went through, and
it's your brother inspired you to kind of

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turn around. And life is all
about learning and finding opportunities in those obstacles.

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So as you continued, what were
some of the lessons you learned from

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your acting and modeling and your time
with your expouse. Hmm, let's see.

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Well, some of the lessons I
learned were unhealthy. For instance,

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I learned that as long as I
looked good on the outside, and I

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think I learned that from my mom
originally, because she always, you know,

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was just very well dressed and well
made up. But you know,

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I learned to put on a pretty
face, if you will, and just

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pretend that everything was okay when nothing
felt okay. Inside, nothing felt okay,

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you know. And my former spouse
ended up because I was so critical

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and shaming toward him and his substance
use instead of applying kindness and compassion and

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learning and educating myself about the fact
that he was also somebody who was terribly

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traumatized as a young man in his
family of origin. If I could have

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come to understand that he was somebody
who really needed a lot of compassion and

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love, and so did I.
You know, our inner children, the

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two of us together were really traumatized, and we traumatized each other as adults

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operating from the wounded children inside of
us. And I guess, looking back,

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you know, I can now see
those were lessons I learned, But

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I didn't learn the lesson until I
found a healthy way of recovering right,

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And so I didn't learn the lessons
at the time. You know, he

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ended up having an affair with somebody
who was twenty four years younger than him

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and left me and my two daughters, our children for that relationship because he

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was driven by this wounded part.
And when I attacked him for what I

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felt was his choosing alcohol over me
and the kids, it was almost like

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I felt like he was having an
affair with the alcohol, and I was

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constantly berating him and shaming him.
And again, wish I would have known

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what I know now. Right,
of course he was going to go have

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an affair. Of course he was
going to leave. Of course he wasn't

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going to stick around for feeling attacked
and shamed, which is what his little

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boy felt from his family of origin
because his mother was very mentally ill.

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And so, you know, I
learned, like I said, to just

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look pretty and shut up. And
then when I got into alan On and

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started vocalizing what I was hearing in
those rooms and attacking him, he left.

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And I, you know, I
went through seven years of being a

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single mom, which was really hard, and I and the wounded child in

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me who was so afraid of being
abandoned and was abandoned right by my husband.

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I didn't have the capacity to be
emotionally available for my own daughter's emotional

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needs, which were huge, right
because their daddy left. And now and

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Mommy feels insecure because I didn't have
a formal education. And that's another thing

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I would tell a young girl,
is go ahead and get yourself a formal

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education, even if you become an
actress or a model, because that gives

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you a sense of stability in her
stability. And you mentioned a few minutes

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ago feeling anchored, Oh my gosh, I spent my entire life not feeling

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anchored, bless you. And it
wasn't until my oldest daughter, who became

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a heroin addict and then was facing
six years in prison by the time she

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was nineteen. It wasn't until she
looked at me one day and she said,

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Mom, you know, I might
be the heroin addict, but you're

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the one with the problem. And
she was right, and it was it

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was her. It was her going
to the extreme that she went that caused

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me to finally pay attention to what
my broken wound itself was doing, which

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was hurting myself and the people I
quote unquote loved. Right, But I

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didn't even know what love was.
I didn't feel love for myself. I

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felt neediness, you know, toward
other people and engaged in relationships from a

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needy point of anchoring. So you
know, it wasn't until my daughter got

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sober and she's been sober for thirteen
years now. Bless her soul because she

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helped. Definitely, congratulations. I'm
sure you're very proud of her. Yeah.

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You brought up really a good point
that regardless, it's not just physical.

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Well, let's focus on emotional trauma. And there's so many people who

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experience that. How can they recognize
first of all, that they have emotional

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trauma? I know you one time
you did say for the young girls,

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But let's say people are adults,
right, and what can they do to

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overcome it and heal it? Well, that's a great question. And so

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I never realized that I had emotional
trauma. And it really wasn't until I

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started doing this work with a therapist
and a family recovery coach that I started

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to recognize that. Hmm. Maybe
there's maybe I am the common denominator here.

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You know, maybe my relationship as
a sister, my relationship as a

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wife, and my relationship as a
mom of people who struggled with substance use

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disorder indicates that I have a problem, you know it? And I think

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that we can identify that we are
struggling by internally like there we are experience,

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we have experienced emotional trauma. When
we look at our life, is

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it chaotic? Are our relationships chaotic? Do we feel emotionally safe inside?

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Are we hyper reactive to people?
Do we have a hard time tolerating other

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people's emotions? Because all of these
are symptoms of not feeling safe with our

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own emotions. People like, for
instance, my father who shut me down

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emotionally. He was very dictatorial,
but that was a protector inside of him.

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That was a protective part because he
didn't feel safe with his own emotions.

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And how could he tolerate somebody else's
emotions, his little girls when he

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didn't feel good about having strong emotions
himself because he also was shut down as

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a child from his parents, right, And so these are generational patterns that

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get passed along. And I did
the same with my children. My children

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didn't feel safe emotionally with me.
So is that does that answer your question?

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Like how you can identify I can't
hear you for some reason what happened.

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Let's explore a little bit more about
how people can be safe with their

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emotions, because you mentioned that when
you're not able to tolerate other people's emotions,

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then other people's emotions make you uncomfortable, So tell us a little bit

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more about not being safe with your
own emotions. It's it's a process of

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there's a process of being able to
identify. Paying attention to when when I

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feel triggered is really important, and
then and having tools to emotionally regulate myself

353
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is so important. When I feel
when I go off the handle, when

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I fly off the handle at somebody, and I'm much better at that today

355
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than I've ever been. It's a
sign that when I lose patience with other

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people, it's a sign that I
am not emotionally regulated. Because our natural

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state of being is to be calm. It's you know, we were birthed

358
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into this life experience with a sense
I think of wonder and a sense of

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curiosity. And when we don't have
that sense of wonder and curiosity, we

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tend to be reactive to other people. We tend to judge them, even

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children. Like I know I was
impatient with my children because I expect them

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to just fall in line, But
that's not who children are, and they're

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curious and they're and they want to, you know, have time to be

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who they are. And so when
when we are not able to tolerate other

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people's emotions. It's a sign that
we are not able to emotionally regulate ourselves.

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And so the key is is to
find a program, work with a

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coach For myself. It was working
with two coaches, one was a therapist

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coach and one was a family recovery
coach to learn breathing techniques, to learn

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00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:43.039
emotional freedom technique, which is a
tapping you know, protocol to help calm

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myself down so that I don't take
my emotions out on other people and damage

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the relationships and damage my I have
five grandchildren, and I know for sure

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that there are times when I want
to react and snap at them because old

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programming lives inside of me. But
thankfully I can catch myself and breathe through

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it, or excuse myself and go
have a conversation with myself in the bathroom

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if I need to, about the
fact that they're just being kids and I

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am needing to be a really safe
adult for them so that they grow up

377
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with a sense of feeling affirmed and
a sense of well being. Very powerful,

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00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:30.719
you said that emotions are not just
going to go away because we are

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naturally programmed to have emotions, it's
what you do with them is what it

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00:34:36.760 --> 00:34:40.159
comes. So can you share with
this couple of breathing techniques that people can

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00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:45.079
use to tackle those. So like, first thing you said, figure out

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whether you need help. Second is
like you know, once you know,

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00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:54.400
become mindful of them. And thought, let's listen to some of the techniques.

384
00:34:54.679 --> 00:35:00.880
Well, so one thing is called
square breathing, and are navy seals

385
00:35:00.920 --> 00:35:05.039
are taught This technique's breathing, Yeah, breathing, Right, So you breathe

386
00:35:05.119 --> 00:35:08.559
into account of four, you hold
for account of four, you exhale for

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00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:15.519
account of four, and that's the
technique, and you do it four times,

388
00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:19.159
right, breathe into account of four
and you hold empty. Excuse me,

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So you breathe into account of four, hold for account of four,

390
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exhale for account of four, and
then hold empty for account of four,

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00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:29.119
and you repeat that four times.
And my coach used to say that she

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would do it before she even got
out of bed in the morning, just

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so that she centered herself and prepared
herself sort of for the day from a

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calm place. So that's a really
powerful technique. Another technique is tapping,

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and there is a protocol for tapping. You can learn it on YouTube.

396
00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:59.239
Actually it's emotional freedom technique. There's
basic emotional freedom technique videos on YouTube and

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it's a pattern of tapping certain points
on your face, neck and underneath your

398
00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:09.840
arms and on your hand that our
Navy seals and are actually our military is

399
00:36:09.920 --> 00:36:17.599
trained with emotional freedom technique because it's
been proven that it reduces trauma, anxiety,

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depression, physical pain, and it
will calm the autonomic nervous system.

401
00:36:23.320 --> 00:36:30.800
So I highly recommend that people seek
those training videos. That's powerful. So

402
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:37.760
tell us sounds like your daughters are
doing great, you have got grandchildren and

403
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:43.519
yeah, so where are you at
right now and what's next for you?

404
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:50.239
Oh? Well, thank you.
I am currently rewriting my book which is

405
00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:55.199
called Revelations of a Bad Mom,
which is really the journey of my own

406
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:04.400
recognition of what I wish I would
have done differently as a parent and prior

407
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.559
to becoming a parent. But I
interject a lot of the stories from my

408
00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:13.519
own childhood and how they shaped my
belief systems about my value and about who

409
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I am. And so that's what
I'm working on. But I'm also working

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00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:22.639
on a one woman's show which is
called revelations of a bad mom as well.

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And I work as a crisis case
manager for companies that hire me,

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but also private individuals who have a
lot of crisis going on in their lives

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and who are dealing with addiction or
mental health issues in the family and want

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to come from a kind, compassionate
approach and want the family to the family

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system to heal. So I work
with families for that purpose. I also

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am an intervention intern for the Arise
Intervention program and that's a beautiful, gentle

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kind way of doing an intervention on
families and on individuals who are struggling with

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addiction. And I am a family
recovery coach for families who want long term

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strategies to communicate in ways that create
connection rather than create polarization. MM.

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That's beautiful, right. You know, unification of families can as you mentioned

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that, I still see that.
Like you know when you mentioned about Cyndy

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Crawford that she made her career as
a business and she had good, strong

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family support. So having that strong
family support can make a huge difference in

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anybody's life. So like that,
in sort of polarization, bringing the unification,

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how can people get in touch with
you and where can they find you?

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Okay, so people can go to
my website. There's a link there

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for anyone who's interested in having a
forty five minute talk with me, who

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are seriously wanting recovery for themselves and
their family. And my my website is

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Andrea Arlington dot com. And yes, and there's a way of contacting me

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00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:30.400
through email on the site as well. And do you have any one or

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two last listen nuggets for audience?
Yes, And that is you've got to

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get support, you know. I
tried for years to navigate the challenges I

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was having with my daughters and my
husband from from my own wisdom, which

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I didn't have any experience dealing with
substance use disorder, didn't even know what

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00:39:55.400 --> 00:40:02.800
it was. But when I finally
got support from professionals who specialize in family

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00:40:02.840 --> 00:40:07.239
recovery and addiction recovery, my whole
life turned around, My daughter's lives turned

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00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:12.280
around. Don't try to do this
on your own and as a parent,

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00:40:13.400 --> 00:40:17.960
thinking that I could just sort of
shame to tame my children if I just

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00:40:19.719 --> 00:40:27.559
demand demanded them to behave and perform
in ways that I thought would work related

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00:40:27.559 --> 00:40:32.480
to their substance use was not helpful. I really needed help, and like

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00:40:32.559 --> 00:40:37.159
I said, it wasn't until I
got help that everything turned around. And

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00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:44.679
it is possible because when we do
the work ourselves, everything in our lives

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00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:51.239
gets better. Well, thank you
for sharing your journey and being vulnerable.

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00:40:51.800 --> 00:40:55.880
Appreciate that. Thank you for having
me. I appreciate you. Oh absolutely,

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00:40:57.719 --> 00:41:01.079
Thank you listeners, and I'm sure
that some of the stories have resonated

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00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:09.079
with you. Know that we all
are perfectly imperfect. There is no perfect

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00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:16.800
in anyone. So wherever you are
at, pick up right where you are

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00:41:16.840 --> 00:41:22.039
at. There's no wrong time,
there's no right time. The right time

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00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:25.559
is when you start. And remember
it's okay to fall, it's okay to

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00:41:25.639 --> 00:41:30.559
fail, it's not okay to give
up on yourself because life is precious and

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00:41:30.599 --> 00:41:38.800
it's a gift that deserves to be
honored. So reach out to us,

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00:41:38.960 --> 00:41:43.920
let us know how we can support
you and continue the kind of circle.

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00:41:44.679 --> 00:41:49.360
Let us know your stories and we'll
keep on sharing. And thank you one

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00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:52.679
for making the show technically possible.
So be well and take care until next

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00:41:52.679 --> 00:41:57.360
time. Thank you for being part
of Beyond Confidence. With your host d

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00:41:57.480 --> 00:42:00.679
Via Park, we hope you have
learned more about how to start living the

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00:42:00.760 --> 00:42:04.639
life you want. Each week on
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real

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00:42:04.679 --> 00:42:09.239
people who have experienced growth by overcoming
their fears and building meaningful relationships. During

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00:42:09.239 --> 00:42:14.280
Beyond Confidence, Vpark shares what happened
to her when she stepped out of her

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00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:17.599
comfort zone to work directly with people
across the globe. She not only coaches

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00:42:17.639 --> 00:42:23.239
people how to form hard connections,
but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships

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00:42:23.320 --> 00:42:27.679
as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to

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00:42:27.719 --> 00:42:31.320
live the life you want and leverage
your strengths, learn more at www dot

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00:42:31.639 --> 00:42:37.519
dwpark dot com and you can connect
with vat contact at dvpark dot com.

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We look forward to you joining us
next week.