Women Can Fly

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The topics and opinions expressed on the
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Radio. This is Beyond Confidence with
your host Dvapark, Do you want to

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live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve

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your personal, professional, and financial
goals? Well? Coming up on Dvaparnks

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Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

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who have stepped into discomfort, shanner
their status quo, and are living the

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life they want. You will learn
how relationships are the key to achieving your

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aspirations and financial goals. Moving your
career business forward does not have to happen

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at the expense of your personal or
family life, or vice versa. Learn

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more at www Have you done divaparnk
dot com and you can connect with div

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d contact at divapark dot com.
This is beyond confidence and now here's your

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host a park. Good morning listeners. It's Tuesday morning and I'm thrilled to

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be here with y'all. So what
I want to share is that it's been

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an amazing ride with y'all. And
I want to share a story about a

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global entrepreneur that we helped in an
African country. We help them get a

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loan for their fertilizer and lo and
behold just hold back today from Kiva Kiva

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dot org that whole town has become
self dependent. And think about it,

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you do me think like, ah, you know, we're buying a book

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and partial profits from this book are
going to help someone. Every little bit

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it matters. It's almost think about
it. You know, when drops come

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together, it can form an ocean. So thank you, thank you,

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thank you for buying our books because
it works three ways. Not only it

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helps you, it helps me because
we are making an impact together, and

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it helps an entrepreneur across the globe
somewhere in little former shape. So if

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you have not gotten our copy,
please get either one of the copies either

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the Entrepreneur Garden or Expert to Influencer, because those books will change your life.

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I've poured my heart and soul into
them and they will help you become

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the best entrepreneur that's out there,
or even if you're not an entrepreneur,

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it will help you develop an entrepreneurial
mindset and become an influencer. That's a

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rising tide that lifts all boats.
It's not just about the likes and follows,

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It's about impacting people. And I
want to invite you to take an

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hour of your time every month and
help somebody with no strings attached. And

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when you do that, you're starting
that cycle of kindness. You'll never know

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that somebody will pass it on to
someone else. So find that time,

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whether it is ten minutes somewhere or
five minutes on a day, spread it

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out on that thirty days during a
month, and you'll find that you'll be

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able to help someone. So let's
invite our guests in welcome, Doctor T

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and Captain Mamma. How are you
all doing today? Wonderful? Thank you

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so much for having us on.
I'm so happy that I get to be

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with Captain Mama again. Oh thank
you. Also, yeah, thank you,

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thank you. We met at the
summit and we spent quite a bit

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of time on the phone after.
So this is wonderful of you to think

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of this pairing. Very grateful.
Thank you, absolutely so. We usually

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start out with a question from childhood
when you were a little girl, is

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there a moment or a person that
left a mark on you and that you

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remember even today? What about your
doctor? T ah, you asked.

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I didn't realize you asked different questions
each time about childhood. Let me think

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about that a person. When I
think about my childhood, I was I

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was born in New York City to
an immigrant mom and an unmarried immigrant mom,

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so it's just the two of us. We had a very small family,

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but my paternal grandmother was my only
living grand parent at the time.

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And when I think about my childhood, I think of all the love and

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nurturing that she would do, and
all the good food that she would make.

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She would make bana bread and make
apple pie. And I said,

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I still do. I still love
putting whipped cream on my hand and eating

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it. And so when I go
to her house, there was always ample

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cream. So I just still loved
and nurturing and good food from my grandmother,

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and that the one that's one of
my favorite people from my childhood.

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M what about you, Grassiello.
I'm having an entrepreneurial memory of my father.

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And what happened was we wanted to
like sell candy in our neighborhood.

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Like we had this idea that you
know, not everybody has parents that take

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them out for dinner or you know, doing things like this and then stop

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by the candy store. So we
thought, wouldn't it be fun if we

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had our own candy store in the
neighborhood and we could sell candy. And

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so my father supported this idea that
I had actually built a little candy store

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for us, like we've seen like
those Lukey cartoons to eliminate sands and eliminate

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flight stands. Ufy right. It
was like that. It was probably times

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wider, like two people could fit. We had actual candy inventory. And

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so I have this memory of a
supportive father of constructing our candy store because

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we were in a brand new neighborhood
and other houses are being constructed, so

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there's like piles of lumber that we
could use, and so I think that's

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it. It's like being encouraged to
do something different, to actually build it.

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And then of course we were like
the hub of the neighborhood once we

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started selling candy, and then we
also to buy candy for like two cents

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and sell it for a nickel.
Everybody's so happy that they could get their

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candy right there. So that's what
I thought of when you asked that question,

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is what that was like to have
that support for my father. He

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passed, remember twenty twenty. So
I think that's why I thought of him

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immediately. And when my mom hears
this, she'll be like, again,

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you're talking about your dad. But
they were both very supportive. But the

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memory is of that support with my
dad, with the little candy store.

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So yeah, it was six days
of lung cancer to death. It was

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very fast, it was he was
very shocking, but he didn't suffer much

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at all. So that's the good
news. Yeah, so it never ceases

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stone over school. How when we
grow up a loose sight of what's important

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in life. And the reason I
ask this question is it illustrates that we

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don't remember expensive gifts. I've never
had been through hundreds of episodes of Neverhood

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of guests say that oh, you
know, this fantastic toy or anything like

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that. Those are the memories of
love and orchering and support. So it's

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so important that we bring back the
vision of what's important in life. So

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Gracie, tell me, as you
grew where did your life take you.

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I grew up in Colorado, That's
where all of this took place. And

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it was a kind of a neighborhood
of tract home, you know, just

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house house, house, house house, as they do, brand new school.

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So that was great. And as
I grew up and I started having

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friends. In high school, I
was on the volleyball team, the basketball

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team, and I played soccer as
in a marching band. So I got

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really into the student activities, like
it's very athletic, and I started hanging

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out with people who did not live
in my neighborhood, which of course then

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starts informing your worldview of other people
lived differently, right, And what I

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remember very well by age fifteen,
I remember I'd met a lot of friends

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on the volleyball team, for example, who had college educated parents. My

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parents were both from Mexico, so
immigrant family, just like doctor Dandy,

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and so we didn't have anybody in
my neighborhood who had been to college or

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knew anything about college, or we
talked about Attorney University. So hanging out

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with my friends, I started getting
this idea that, well, if I

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want to go to Austria like Claudia
in this summer, or Paris like Banjie,

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then I need to become a college
educated woman if I want to see

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the world. So I remember that
so clearly, and that was my only

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guide post that took me on to
the rest of my life. But it

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was that that mix of being on
musical people and being with the yearbook people

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and the different teams, that diversity
of experience I was having, This started

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opening my mind to what else could
be for me beyond high school. So

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that's how I want to answer your
question. And it was just like this

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intentional looking of what's possible outside my
block. Absolutely, and it's always hard

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because you know, we grow up
the curent perspectives and as we get exposed

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to different people, we start developing
new perspectives and it's so important to have

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those perspectives. And doctor T being
a child of single mom, I'm sure

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you had a very strong presence of
female leadership in your life. How did

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you get to the medical field.
It was a circuitous round. My my

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mom was when I was born.
My mom was a student. I'm always

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have been so proud of my mom. She Actually both of my parents were

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from Southern Africa, and they both
were granted scholarships to study in the United

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States because they were just that smart. And my mom went on to get

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her PhD. She was one of
the first women in her country, her

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small country at Swadini in Southern Africa, to get a PhD in educational psychology.

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And my dad, on the other
hand, went on to become a

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medical doctor. And so I guess
as the hybrid of the two of them,

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I became very interested both in psychology
and also in medicine. When I

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was in high school, over the
summers, I would work in my dad's

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office essentially as a medical assistant.
I would do EKG some people and check

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their blood pressure. And I just
got a chance to see my dad at

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work and see how he was able
to help people, and that may be

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interested. But I was also interested
in a lot of other things, which

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I still am, and so when
I went to college, I wasn't sure

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what I wanted to do. And
I ended up doing a which if there's

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any of your listeners who have college
age kids or are in college themselves,

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you can just what you're doing.
College doesn't have to define what you do

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for the rest of your life.
So, because I wasn't sure, I

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ended up doing a what's called a
post baccalaureate PREMIM program where I did all

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of my requirements for medical school after
I had graduated from college. But then

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even then I still didn't go to
medical school. After that, I ended

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up working at a at a job, and I was making money and I

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was living life and having fun and
the idea of going back to go of

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like whatever. But then eleven happened
and I had a quarter life crisis,

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and it was one of those moments
where it was like, what am I

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doing with my life? Is this
what I want to be doing for the

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rest of my life? And that's
time. I had a great job.

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I was working for a candy company. I literally had enough candy in my

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life to bring candy to all one
hundred and eighty of my medical school classmates.

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So but it was a great company. But I decepted that. On

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ninety eleven, I decided by the
next year, I would either be in

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medicool or I would be doing something
in the pharmaceutical industry. And I and

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by the next year I was enrolled
in medical school. So that's how I

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got to medical school. And how
did you decide? I know, there's

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so many different fields there. You
can go in medicine. You can go

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to being an AA doctor, or
you can be a physietrist, or you

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can be an eye surgeon rich you
are, and you can be a cardiologist.

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How did you pick your niche?
So I have always been passionate about

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women, women's empowerment, women's health. So I just knew that when I

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went to medical school, I was
going to do ob G i N,

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which is abstetrics think an ecology.
I was the student leader of the ob

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G i N student interest group.
I was all in with ob G i

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N. But as life sometimes happened, sometimes things happen that I don't always

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expect. And for the first time
in my life, a couple of things

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happened. For the first time in
my life, I needed to wear glasses

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and that was the first time that
I really thought on a personal level about

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the importance of sight. And then
another thing happened. I had this teacher

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who was amazing. She was just
one of the most amazing people that I

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had ever met, and she was
an optimologist and everybody loves her. And

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ironically now she's not even practicing optimology
seas an artist, but at the time

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she was an optimologist and I saw
she was so cool, and I loved

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the work that she was doing.
And then the third thing that happened is

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that I saw a patient get lasic
eye surgery, and in less than ten

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minutes, this person went from not
being able to see the alarm clock when

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they woke up to being able to
see. And I have never seen anybody

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seem happier in my life. And
when I saw how happy that person was,

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I said, I want to be
a part of that. So I

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pivoted. Which the wonderful thing about
life is that no matter where we are,

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no matter what direction that we are
headed in, we can always make

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a decision to pivot and making the
best out of it. So what I'm

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hearing is that it's so important to
be flexible. As you had mentioned,

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your life took a lot of different
journeys to get to where you are at,

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and it's being open that okay,
something you may show up, rather

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than getting fixated on one idea.
When you are open to different things and

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different possibilities, you can create your
own opportunities. And graci Ala, I

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know you did not have any exposure
to aviation. How did you end up

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in aviation industry and that to in
military? Yeah? Well yeah, I

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was gonna say, oh my goodness, can I please piggyback on this pivoting

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idea because that is the story,
you know. After looking around and saying,

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well, I want to be a
college educated person, I started asking,

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well, how can I be a
college educated person? As oldest of

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five kids born in Mexican immigrants,
And so I went to my high school

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counselor and she was saying and she
had an idea. She said, come

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to my house for dinner, meet
my husband and he will tell you what

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he did. Because her husband had
left Appalachia, he had eight siblings.

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I only had four, and come
learn what Wendell did. So that is

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how I learned about the Air Force
Reserve Officer Training Corps scholarship to go to

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college. And because of this mentoring, I got a scholarship paid for by

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the Air Force basically for four years
to go to Berkeley, and then my

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counselor helped me apply to Berkeley.
I'm not in California at the time.

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I'm in Colorado, so this is
a whole crazy journey. And why Berkeley

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because I had the number one architecture
school and I knew that's what I wanted

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to study architecture Air Force. But
the Air Force said, yes, here's

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a scholarship in architecture. I'm awesome. I guess they have architects in the

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Air Force, but they don't they
Two years later, when I'm already already

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committed to serve for four years,
that's when the Air Force takes us in

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the summer after our second year to
learn different careers, meet different officers,

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doing different things. And that's when
I learned that there were no architects in

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the Airforce and I would be filling
potholes in the civil engineering squadron. I

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would be like pouring as fault to
fill potholes on the base. And I

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was very sad, but I'm still
committed for four years because I have the

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scholarship. So then the very next
day began my pivot. They took us

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to a pilot training base in Arizona, and I got a flight with a

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lady captain who was a flight instructor, Captain Delsa, Dolly Delisa, And

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we went up and it was one
hundred and three in July and Phoenix,

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and we had the oxygen on our
face and we're flying and going upside down

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and she teached me to roll and
I'm having the best time ever. Keep

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in mind, this is my second
time on an airplane. The first time

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was the flight to get to the
base, and the second time is in

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this aerobatic military jet trainer. So
I'm having an amazing time flying and just

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eleven it is like better than roller
coaster. So we land and Captain Delisa

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says, you know, you're the
first person I took flying today who did

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not throw up. She says,
you know a lot of these guys coming

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they think they're going to be firepuds, but just you know, one time

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in a hot plane and they start
questioning that you know you could overcome your

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airsickness. That's okay, you had
a great time. This is something you

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can do, she said. And
I'm like, well, but I have

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a scholarship in architecture. I got
to go do civil engineering. I'm like

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saying all these ridiculous things. She
goes, no, no, no,

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stop, Cadet stop, this is
the Air Force. You have a scholarship.

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Go back and tell the staff you
want to fly. And so that's

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how it happened. It was this
opportunity and saying yes to the opportunity,

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like to take the orientation fly.
Not everybody did, but I was curious

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and so I went for it.
And then here she is mentoring me in

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the little five minute taxi back.
But it was the pivotal moment that told

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me that I could go fly,
which had ever happened in the two years

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prior, because I didn't have my
eye in the sky. I didn't have

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my eye on flying. I was
architecture, civil engineering. But that's how

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it happened. It was a moment
and I was like, well, I

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don't really want to go to civil
engineering anyway. So that's how it happened.

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And then I just followed the process, you know, to apply and

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then get selected. And the Air
Force chooses pilots, navigators and other rated

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officers to go train to get wings. And I was selected for the most

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mathematically challenging to be an Air Force
navigator and that's where I got trained,

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and that was a full year training
after graduating from Berkeley. Well, Graciella,

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what a story saying yes to yourself, saying yes to curiosity. And

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when you did that, it opened
up doors that you didn't even think about

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it. And I want to thank
you for your service because you are our

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heroes and heroes, so thank you
for your service. So tell us as

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you continue your journey. They didn't
take you. So at the end of

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the training, which I was the
only woman in a class of thirty two

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that started and twenty four that graduate, because there was always this electrician.

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After that journey, I selected the
Casey one thirty five aerial refueling pinker.

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So that's what you see here in
my virtual background. You see an airplane

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getting refueled in the sky and it's
an F one seventeen Stealth Fighter. That

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was one of my favorite planes to
refuel. But yeah, we refuel in

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the sky. We're a flying gas
station. So immediately where it took me

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was getting stationed up in Washington State, getting fully qualified with my crew and

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getting ready to deploy. And then
immediately I found myself in Saudi Arabia at

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the tail end of the Gulf War
when we started patrolling the southern skies of

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Iraq, the operation Southern Watch is
that they called it. And quick story

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about that. I was one of
the first four crews in country and we

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flew one, two, three,
four sorties a day, all combat air

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operations over Baghdad on the south to
Baghdad. And this is when Saddam Hussein

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was actually using his aircraft to basically
commit genocide against his own people. So

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we were there really to stop him
from flying his aircraft, and it was

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it was hostile and we got chased
by the Russian MiGs that he had every

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day. And so every day we
were flying combat air operations. And keep

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in mind, I'm a baby lieutenant, like this is my first deployment.

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I'm like this baby lieutenant over there. And of the first four crews,

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each tanker, each case they won
thirty five has four people. And of

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the four crews that sixteen air crew, I was the only woman there.

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All the other crews were all male. My crew was three guys in me

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and that matters because at the after
we fly I think twenty five or thirty

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sorties, the Colonel nominated all of
us for a metal, which is like

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a big deal and necessary for promotion
kind of thing. And so we got

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nominated because we already had like thirty
or forty sorties. And what happened was

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the Pentagon shipped back three packages with
four medals each and a letter to our

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crew addressed to my aircraft commander that
we could not receive an air metal because

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there was a female on the crew. And this was fifteen months before the

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law changed, so I wasn't even
supposed to be over there. Oops,

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but they needed me and I was
there, and so we did not get

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recognized with an air metal. And
while we were there, and when the

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law changed, the Pentagon sat on
it for a while, and eventually they

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kind of mailed our air medals to
us back to our base and I finally

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got my air metal. And I
actually learned during the pandemic. Thank you.

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It's a weird story, baby,
Lieutenant. First employment, I learned

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that I'm actually the first Latina Air
Force aviator to you ever earn in their

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00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:07.920
metal. Somebody asked the question as
who is their booking, right, So

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it's kind of a little weird footnote, But I'm very proud of that.

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I went back to Saudi Arabia three
or four times more after that, but

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nothing, nothing was like that first
appointment. That's just one of the places.

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It took me in went probably twenty
seven other countries to do other really

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00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:26.559
cool missions, but it was always
refueling and taking cargo and people. So

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it's good. Ten years. Well, I gotta tell you again, thank

302
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:37.240
you for your services. And how
powerful is that that women can fly?

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And folks, we're not literally just
talking here about literally flying, I'm talking

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about soaring in your lives and taking
those chances because look at these two power

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women. We have got two powerhouses
today. They have blazed those trails for

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00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:04.559
themselves, finding their paths where they
could create their own destiny and manifest what

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they wanted their opportunities. So what
a wonderful story, Graciela. And I'm

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00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:15.160
sure doctor t as you traveled in
your life journey like as an eye surgeon,

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00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:21.200
tell us how did you feel as
a woman going through And I know

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they're in comparison to aviation, there
are more women in medical history, but

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how what was it like? And
did you face any challenges? Yeah?

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I do, I there is any
sake that we expect women to work like

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they don't have children and mother like
they don't have a job right. And

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now in recent years of just within
the last twenty years, for the first

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time, we more female applicants apply
to medical or get accepted into medical school

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than male applicants. And similarly,
just in even more recent years than that,

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we've had more female optimologists get accepted
into optimology training. So what that

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means is that we have a lot
more younger female optimologists, but the people

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that have been there for for the
longest are still majority men. And still

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even in today's world, a female
ophthalmologist gets paid seventy five cents to the

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dollar that every male optimologist gets paid, and that's for doing the exact name

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work. So that's that's one challenge, really learning to under understand my worth

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and negotiate for my worth. Another
challenge is trying to juggle I have two

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00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:17.799
beautiful little daughters, so trying to
juggle motherhood and with employers who don't they

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00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:23.440
can't relate to I have to be
at daycare by six o'clock or um.

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00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:29.720
They're going to call the police to
come get my daughter because they had wives

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00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:36.279
who were taking care of the child's
rearing for their family, so there's a

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whole. And then then that's then
I'm looked at as having a poor work

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00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:49.720
ethic, right because I'm not staying
later or and because i have boundaries around

330
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what I can do because I have
a family and I have little people to

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raise. So that's um been a
child. And then even just with the

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biases that the public has about what
a doctor is supposed to look like,

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what a surgeon is supposed to look
like. Even the other week, I

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00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:21.039
had to I work in an office
and there's a male there's a male doctor

335
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and me, and I've heard because
I can hear the front desk, and

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00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:30.920
I've heard patients day that I've never
seen by the way they're saying, I

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00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.240
don't want to see that the girl
doctor. I just want to see the

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00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:47.039
man. It's it's fascinating that the
can see things like that. And I

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00:28:47.240 --> 00:28:52.400
know that you're also serving as a
military officer, can you also tell about

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00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:56.559
that? And then when you throw
that and it just makes things work.

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00:29:00.039 --> 00:29:03.880
But again, and one of the
things that I'm learning in life is this

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idea of a flow versus force,
And if you have a river, if

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you flow. If you just float
down the river. They say, there's

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no such thing as straight lines in
in nature. Every there's there's always bends.

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And so if you flow, if
you just lie on your back and

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00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.279
flow with the river, the river
will take you downstream. Right. But

347
00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:33.240
if you try to draw a line
between this point on the river and then

348
00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:37.559
downstream on the river, and you
try to take the shortest point, that's

349
00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:40.680
going to require you to dig a
hole. It's going to require you to

350
00:29:40.759 --> 00:29:45.799
do all kinds of acrobatics to do
that same to do that same thing that

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00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:49.400
if you just relax and flow went
with the flow, you would get to

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00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:53.680
the same point. And so that's
one of the lessons that I have learned

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00:29:53.799 --> 00:30:03.640
and part of my flow that came
and a few things had happened I had.

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00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:10.119
I was I did my residency,
my optimology training at Howard University Hospital

355
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in Washington, d C. And
as part of our training, we would

356
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:18.680
rotate at the it's now known as
well Teride. At that time it was

357
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:25.359
as the nables would we would rotate
there and we would take care of the

358
00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:32.559
soldiers. And that was my first
experience with the reality of war. It

359
00:30:32.799 --> 00:30:37.880
is one thing to watch the news
and here, Okay, five soldiers killed,

360
00:30:38.839 --> 00:30:44.839
two hundred injured. It is a
different experience to be in the room

361
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:49.759
where you see a twenty one year
old boy or man with his leg blown

362
00:30:49.839 --> 00:30:55.640
off and his mother crying on the
in the chair on the side. That

363
00:30:55.799 --> 00:31:02.599
just it just changed my whole perspective
of what the real personal impact of war

364
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:07.400
is on many families. And I
wanted to be a lot of people that

365
00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:14.759
end up joining A lot some people
joined the military because of a legacy and

366
00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:17.880
desire to serve, but a lot
of people joined the military because that's the

367
00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:22.279
only choice that they have, that's
the own that's their way out of a

368
00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:29.359
difficult situation. And I wanted to
be a part of serving that community.

369
00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:33.599
And then another thing that seems like
totally random happened. I was staying in

370
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:41.680
the sky and he was kind of
a jerk. He broke up with me.

371
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:48.279
He was moving, he was relocating
to Houston, Texas, and I

372
00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:51.000
was supposed to help him pick out
a house. But by the time we

373
00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:55.119
broke up, I still had my
ticket. I couldn't change my ticket,

374
00:31:55.160 --> 00:32:01.839
so I who ended up stranded in
Houston right orb But at the time I

375
00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:08.240
was really into Joel Oastein. I
was watching Joel Ostein the Preacher who has

376
00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:14.440
a huge church in Houston all all
the time, and so I said to

377
00:32:14.519 --> 00:32:17.119
myself, well, you know what, if I'm stranded in Houston, might

378
00:32:17.160 --> 00:32:22.519
as well go to his church.
Yeah. I took myself down to lake

379
00:32:22.599 --> 00:32:30.640
Wood Church that names church and at
Beach after the service. If you're new

380
00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:35.480
and you want to meet him.
Now, his church isn't a it's like

381
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:38.640
a football stadium. It's a huge, humongous but if you want to meet

382
00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:44.480
him, you can go wait in
a line to meet him, and the

383
00:32:44.599 --> 00:32:47.960
line is really long. It's really
long because a lot of them are So

384
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:52.319
I'm standing in the line and I
am a Chatti hathy. It turns out

385
00:32:52.680 --> 00:33:00.720
I am standing next to a military
recruiter and his wife and I ended up

386
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:07.000
having this long conversation about all the
benefits and the great things about joining the

387
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:14.759
military, and by the end of
the conversation I got to meet Jolos,

388
00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:22.400
which is cool. But then I
became really excited about exploring joining the the

389
00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:27.279
military, and I explore the different
branches, and the Army was the one

390
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:31.799
that made sense. So two days
before my birthday in two thousand and eight,

391
00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:37.039
I joined to the United States Army. Well, thank you for your

392
00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:42.880
services. How fortunate we are to
have two of our childs over here.

393
00:33:43.119 --> 00:33:50.880
What a story and what a joaney. And here's the thing, this is

394
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:54.559
such a great example for women.
Yes, you can store in life,

395
00:33:54.799 --> 00:34:00.640
you can create opportunities, you can
go, but nobody has gone before.

396
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:07.359
And think about it, just a
simple visit to a church and a change

397
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:13.039
the trajectory of your life. So
be curious, be open. So Graciela,

398
00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:17.360
as you kind of moved through your
life, tell us very all right

399
00:34:17.440 --> 00:34:28.280
now and what's happening. Yeah,
So the trajectory from the airplane changed radically,

400
00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:34.760
as things do in life for women
like us who like change. I

401
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:37.840
decided I was right before my major's
board, so I think I was about

402
00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:42.960
six months away from a major,
so that would be the fourth rank.

403
00:34:44.440 --> 00:34:47.639
I was looking ahead and if I
got selected to be a major, They're

404
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:52.159
going to move me to an Air
Force base in Illinois to headquarters to do

405
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:58.639
planning and basically desk stuff. And
I was like, no, I don't

406
00:34:58.679 --> 00:35:01.679
want that because I I'm in the
Air Force to fly. I've already stayed

407
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:06.960
beyond my commitment. So now I
really like I have the power to decide

408
00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:10.159
to stay, to make major,
to go do the staff things that they

409
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:14.960
do, and then Pentagon blah blah
blah, or I can say this was

410
00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:16.960
great, thank you for the college
scholarship. I stayed a year and a

411
00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:21.079
half beyond my commitment. Love the
flying, and I'm going to go do

412
00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:23.760
something else, and that's what I
did. So preparing for that transition,

413
00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:31.599
I finished my master's degree in International
and Business Management marketing to pivot into technology

414
00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:37.760
and I really wanted to work in
Silicon Valley. So with the new credential

415
00:35:37.880 --> 00:35:44.000
of a master's degree paid for by
the way by association American Association of University

416
00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:47.760
Women. So for all women and
all parents with daughters, please know there's

417
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:52.840
this awesome organization that's one hundred years
old that funds the education of women from

418
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:58.039
all over the world. Okay,
they're big office in DC. So AAUW

419
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:02.480
funded it became a few and they
funded my as a career development grant.

420
00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:07.960
So it's like a grant to transition. So I finished that while I was

421
00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:10.440
on active duty in flying and deploying. So it's kind of hard to get

422
00:36:10.679 --> 00:36:15.320
everything done while coming and going.
But that opened the door now for me

423
00:36:15.559 --> 00:36:22.800
to explore a new career. The
problem was persuading people to interview me for

424
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:29.559
a technology marketing job when I'm coming
out of a military carrier plane. So

425
00:36:29.960 --> 00:36:36.559
I got to practice the art of
informational interviews, of intriguing people, of

426
00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:44.400
marketing my relevant skills going forward.
And I had a big community, including

427
00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:47.719
women veterans, who helped me.
So I popped over to Silicon Valley.

428
00:36:49.239 --> 00:36:52.280
I got my personal network from Berkeley
hooked me up with an interview. A

429
00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:55.280
saxophone player from the Marching Band,
in fact, somebody had been in the

430
00:36:55.320 --> 00:37:00.079
band with interviewed me. And I
got hired by ZS, the German company

431
00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:06.239
to work in San Jose, and
so I got to do this crazy transition.

432
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:08.599
So this is why I believe that
we can just keep reinventing ourselves.

433
00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:13.559
This is why I believe that any
career you want can be yours. You

434
00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:16.159
just have to plan for it,
and then you know, really have that

435
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:20.599
professional network to open doors for you. And then you have to just keep

436
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:23.440
asking that how can I question that
got me into college in the first place,

437
00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:28.519
on the scholarship, how can I
work at Silicon Valley. How can

438
00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:31.559
I become a marketing manager? How
can I break into tech? So I

439
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:37.559
did that, and then after ten
years of marketing, launching products, briefing

440
00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:44.719
media, briefing executives in English and
Espanol because I'm bilingual, there was a

441
00:37:44.800 --> 00:37:49.320
layoff. Okay, so I got
to do that and really get a solid

442
00:37:49.400 --> 00:37:52.239
foundation of business skills. And then
there was a sudden layoff. And remember

443
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:57.079
the two thousand and eight two thousand
and nine time period, so when all

444
00:37:57.079 --> 00:38:01.400
the layoffs happened, they actually closed
this office and moved everybody into remote offices

445
00:38:01.880 --> 00:38:07.880
the German headquarters did during the recession. So then I was like, okay,

446
00:38:07.960 --> 00:38:10.760
I get to do a new thing
now. And I'd already been doing

447
00:38:10.760 --> 00:38:14.960
a lot of writing and public speaking, you know, kind of on the

448
00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:20.199
side, and so I very very
quickly decided this is the moment where I

449
00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:22.639
want to have my own business,
and so I started Gracefully Global Group.

450
00:38:22.679 --> 00:38:24.960
I know, right, I wasn't
planned to do it at that moment,

451
00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:30.679
but that's how it happened. And
I started Gracefully Global Group, which is

452
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:36.639
a independent publishing and marketing communications company. I started it then and I just

453
00:38:36.760 --> 00:38:40.320
kept doing marketing work for people.
But then very quickly I began to do

454
00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:45.400
the publishing that I wanted to do, not only with the trade journals and

455
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:50.519
all the articles I was doing as
a freelancer, but now I actually got

456
00:38:50.719 --> 00:38:54.320
entered by a publisher in San Francisco
on how to become a publisher after she

457
00:38:54.480 --> 00:39:00.760
published my book. So it was
really a big moment of switching over to

458
00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:05.599
the creative work to create the company. And it happened because of that layoff.

459
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:10.639
So is that opportunity that presented itself. Congratulations, what an achievement.

460
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:17.920
Thank you, And we just celebrated
twelve years last fall. We have published

461
00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:27.159
through like eleven esbns now and the
I chose this virtual background because of your

462
00:39:27.199 --> 00:39:30.800
theme of women comply that unusual story
that I told you about flying for the

463
00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:36.239
Air Force. There one more one
day, but that's not as interesting to

464
00:39:36.320 --> 00:39:39.280
me as inspiring lots of children in
English and Spanish, and so this is

465
00:39:39.400 --> 00:39:46.599
my Captain Mama children's aviation book series, directly inspired by my aviation service,

466
00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:51.920
and it's the first ever children's book
series in English and Spanish where Mom's plan

467
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:58.960
the airplane all fantastic and where can
people find those Captain mama dot com is

468
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:00.920
the easiest place. They're also on
Amazon, but I don't like to send

469
00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:04.639
people to Jeff Bezos as much as
I like to send them to our own

470
00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:08.719
e commerce sites. So yeah,
Mama dot com is the place. Absolutely

471
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:15.199
what a journey and doctor t tell
us of your journey to now and where

472
00:40:15.239 --> 00:40:22.199
can people find you? My journey's
come now. It's It's interesting what I

473
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:30.840
thought medicine would be like. It's
very different than what it actually was the

474
00:40:30.920 --> 00:40:34.360
reality of it. I thought that, you know, I would be the

475
00:40:35.880 --> 00:40:43.199
superhero with the cake that come down
and say everybody and help everybody. And

476
00:40:43.880 --> 00:40:51.119
what I found is that oftentimes it's
my patients that helped me more than I

477
00:40:51.960 --> 00:40:58.519
helped them. What I found is
that oftentimes even with my best effort,

478
00:40:58.639 --> 00:41:04.440
like um, one of the things
I specialize in is glaucoma, which can

479
00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:10.039
cause irreversible blindness, and if it's
treated, you can stop the progression.

480
00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:15.480
But one of the things that broke
my heart are people who, especially the

481
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:20.880
ones that have already come blind in
one eye, sot me go blind.

482
00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:23.519
It's just a theoretical risk, right, you know, the doctors just talking

483
00:41:23.559 --> 00:41:28.400
at I may or may not believe
her. But now that you've lost vision

484
00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:34.159
in one eye, you know that
this can happen. But then they still

485
00:41:34.760 --> 00:41:42.519
don't do what they need to do
for their other eye, and there's sometimes

486
00:41:42.559 --> 00:41:46.360
there's nothing that I can say that
will help to shift them. And I

487
00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:53.079
had to come I had to come
to a point of peace and myself and

488
00:41:53.400 --> 00:41:57.199
say that you know, it's not
it's not my job to save everybody.

489
00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:01.039
It's my job to care for everybody. It's my job to love everybody.

490
00:42:01.119 --> 00:42:06.840
It's my job to make sure that
everybody is empowered with the information and the

491
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:12.280
tools and strategies that they need in
order to do well for themselves. But

492
00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:17.599
they have to choose it for themselves. So I had this moment where I

493
00:42:17.719 --> 00:42:23.800
just it's hard to describe. It's
almost like a yearning or an edge or

494
00:42:23.880 --> 00:42:29.519
something like there was something else that
I need to do, but I wasn't

495
00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:36.199
quite sure what it was, but
there was something that there was something else

496
00:42:36.440 --> 00:42:38.280
for me, That's the best way
I can describe it. And I had

497
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:40.800
that feeling for years, and then
finally I said, you know what,

498
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:45.760
I'm just gonna start. I'm gonna
start throwing things on the wall and seeing

499
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:50.199
what sticks. I'm just gonna start
paying attention to what things do I do

500
00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:53.599
that make me feel passionate? What
things do I do that make me come

501
00:42:53.760 --> 00:43:00.119
alive? And it just so happens. The woman I was working for she

502
00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:04.199
had to have surgery and she had
been invited to speak to this group of

503
00:43:05.079 --> 00:43:07.920
low people with low vision, and
she couldn't go, so she sent me

504
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:14.840
in her stead. And it's very
interesting. I like using lots of visual

505
00:43:15.320 --> 00:43:19.880
aids to present, but when you're
dealing with people who can't see you,

506
00:43:20.079 --> 00:43:23.400
to get into the fight with you, right, So you ended up being

507
00:43:23.440 --> 00:43:30.920
a speaker. Yeah, That's when
I realized that I was really passionate as

508
00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:35.639
I was encouraging him. When I
could see them really being encouraged and connecting,

509
00:43:35.679 --> 00:43:37.440
and I was connected, and I
realized, oh, there's something here.

510
00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:44.519
So and then the second thing that
happened is that I watched Tony Robin's

511
00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:52.079
documentary on Netflix, I'm Not Your
Group, And in this is a documentary

512
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:57.400
where he has his signature event called
Date with Destiny. He has five thousand

513
00:43:57.480 --> 00:44:02.679
people come and in my days he
changes the life of five Oh wow,

514
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:07.639
so I know, doctor T like, this sounds so fascinating. And will

515
00:44:07.719 --> 00:44:14.000
definitely continue the conversation, So if
you could kind of give us a reefortun

516
00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:20.599
as to where you landed that basically
that took me to my new career,

517
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:28.400
that is by growing as a speaker, author and transformational coach. So fantastic

518
00:44:28.559 --> 00:44:31.400
and I'm sure both of you are
making such a huge difference in people's lives.

519
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:37.639
And how can people connect with you? I can be reached at Happy

520
00:44:37.800 --> 00:44:45.320
doctor Mom at gmail dot com.
And don't you have a book coming out

521
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:47.360
soon? I love the title of
your book. Can you please drop the

522
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:52.920
title of your coming book? It's
a great title. Yes, so wait,

523
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:58.079
let me just do so happy it's
happy and spelled out h appy and

524
00:44:58.199 --> 00:45:02.199
doctor full Ward d oct your mom
mm at gmail dot com. Yes,

525
00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:09.079
And if anybody is interested in being
on the list for my upcoming book,

526
00:45:09.079 --> 00:45:17.639
which is Confessions of a Female Surgeon, please definitely send me a message.

527
00:45:21.079 --> 00:45:28.559
So powerful, very very powerful.
Thank you both for sharing your wisdom and

528
00:45:28.880 --> 00:45:35.599
listeners. I'm sure that you all
had several moments where you were sitting down

529
00:45:35.679 --> 00:45:40.199
and taking notes as to what can
you do in your lives and live the

530
00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:50.920
lifestyle you deserve, So reach out
to these phenomenal and wonderful powerhouses. Thank

531
00:45:51.000 --> 00:45:55.039
you Doctor T and Graciela, Captain
Mamma, and thank you listeners for joining

532
00:45:55.159 --> 00:45:59.920
us, because without you, the
show would not be possible. You are

533
00:46:00.679 --> 00:46:05.280
the soul and story of our show. Reach out to us and let us

534
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:10.639
know if how we can support you
and who can be brain so that you

535
00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:17.159
can be the best version of yourself
and impact others. And last, thank

536
00:46:17.239 --> 00:46:22.639
you one for making this show technically
possible. Until next time, be well

537
00:46:22.679 --> 00:46:27.760
and take care. Thank you for
being part of Beyond Confidence. With your

538
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:30.239
host Divia Park, we hope you
have learned more about how to start living

539
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:35.039
the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of

540
00:46:35.159 --> 00:46:39.920
real people who've experienced growth by overcoming
their fears and building meaningful relationships. During

541
00:46:39.960 --> 00:46:44.840
Beyond Confidence, Divia Park shares what
happened to her when she stepped out of

542
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:47.880
her comfort zone to work directly with
people across the globe. She not only

543
00:46:47.960 --> 00:46:53.159
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial

544
00:46:53.239 --> 00:46:58.239
partnerships as they strive to live the
life they want. If you are ready

545
00:46:58.320 --> 00:47:02.039
to live the life you want and
Richard Strengths, learn more at www dot

546
00:47:02.360 --> 00:47:07.920
dvapark dot com and you can connect
with Diva at contact atdiviyapark dot com.

547
00:47:08.360 --> 00:47:10.400
We look forward to you joining us
next week