Beyond Clutter: Mind and Matter

0:00 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not those of W four WN Radio it's employees or affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio, its employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio. This is Beyond Confidence with your host w park. Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional, and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward does not have to happen at the expense of your personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at WWDS. You don't divopark dot com and you can connect with div ants contact ants dvpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host div Park. Good morning listeners. So how is that New Year's resolution coming along? Whether it is one or whether there are many. So usually there's this buzz going around on social media, and it has been going around for multiple multiple years. Actually I've been doing it

1:33 for I would say at least a couple of decades. The key to know is that you can have more than one word, because what happens is sometimes if you're just so focused on one word, it's hard to stay committed to it. So for this year, out of my top three words, one word is consistency. And of course, as you'll know, consistency is you know we are meeting you every week. So what I want to talk about is a few of my clients have already fallen off the wagon and they've lost that modio for the New Year's resolution. So it's super super important that you remain focused on tiny, tiny little steps that bring you to realizing and converting from your goals into reality. And for just for that reason, we are giving you a gift of Atomic Habit. Summary like you don't have to read the whole book. No, no, no, you just kind of take We are giving you the distillation no more than twelve minutes, so check out the link and be sure to download the free gift. So now let's move on and bring in on our guest, Malcolm Lisa, are you good morning?

3:01 Good morning? So tell us if you recall a moment or a person from your childhood that still stands up for you even today. For me, person from my childhood, uh, I, Well, first person that comes to mind is my social studies teacher in I guess it was freshman year in high school. I don't know why he came to mind. Yeah he was. He was. I have add and I didn't know that when I was in high school, and the way he taught, I guess I wasn't a very bright, quick learner because it took me. It takes me a long time to understand things because of my add I believe and he I guess he I can't even I can't even put it towards he demonstrated or he I'm a visual learner, so I think he demonstrated and he acted things out and I was able to learn a lot better, and I remember he was years later, I actually transferred high schools. I was a performer. I was a dancer my first career, and I transferred, and I remember writing him a note my freshman year and saying, thank you so much for teaching me, because you were one of my favorite teachers. And then years later I was dancing in the Magic Flute in the Chicago Opera House, the Opera House in

4:35 Chicago, and he was one of the singers, and it was crazy and I haven't had that thought. Thank you so much for that thought, for that memory. I hadn't thought about that in years. And I said are you and he yeah, yeah, I mean we didn't look very different. It was probably five six years later, but yeah, yeah, that's the first person that came to mind. I haven't thought of him in oh my gosh, long time. Wow. And thank you for that. Yeah, no, thank you for sharing. This brings us to a circle of kindness that you don't know a little thing you may do for someone can change somebody's life or leave that impact. So so many times, a lot of people as they're reading my book Expert to Influencer, they'll be asking me, oh, Divia, you know you need to have, you know, so many followers and all that. No, no, no, no no, It's about bringing that kindness into your life, into every interaction, or at least as much as you can. So you mentioned that you had interest in dancing, and sounds like you did some performances. So tell us about that part of your life. You know what got you interested in dancing. So I have three brothers, and my oldest brother. Both of my oldest brothers were dancers on Broadway and all around the world, and I did a little bit.

5:58 I did the country, and we the reason the story goes my oldest brother. They were in Chicago, my mom, my dad, and my oldest brother, and there were no kids in their neighborhood. And so my mom saw a dance studio and threw my brother into dance, just so he would have you know, when he was like four, three, four or five years old, before kindergarten. I guess and loved it. And so my next brother came along, and she threw him in class, and so she got a little time, you know, to meeting other moms. And then we moved out to the suburbs. I came along. She immediately found a dance studio because my oldest brother, Drew and Paul wanted to dance.

6:43 So then I got into dance, and and then my youngest brother came along and we got in and we were all dancers. We used to do a little family act when we were young. We'd perform at senior communities and you know, little luncheons and you know, things like that. And my oldest brother went to school at Indiana and then he auditioned for a chorus line when he was I think of freshman in college and got it and never looked back. And he toured the United States, I mean the world, and went on Broadway, and so did my older brother. I went to the performing arts high school that my oldest brother paid for for me because my family couldn't afford it. And I danced, and I was the count in Sesame Street.

7:27 That's my big claim to fame on a tour. And when I hit about twenty five, because I'd been dancing since, you know, baby, we were also in sports. We were in fitness and sports and gymnastics. We were very active kids. And at twenty five, I said, you know what, I'm just not There's a lot leading up to it, and actually in my book, I tell a story about how I think a lot of it switched for me, and I just said, it's just it's not for me anymore. It was very unsettling. I was I call myself a professional waitress who danced and sang and acted every once in a while. And so I took a year off and I waitressed and I just enjoyed myself.

8:15 There wasn't stress. And after a year I said, you know what, I don't miss it anymore. It was very difficult, and I don't think I loved it enough and had a passionate and a confidence in myself to keep going. M you know all that it was too much for me. Yeah, right now it makes sense because it requires a lot of practice because it's it's it's a regorous career, not all it is engaged. You have to be mentally present because in a one wrong move and everything looks out of sync exactly exactly lessons you learn from that time because it's just like any other sport.

8:56 It requires intense which I loved. I really love when I enjoy something, I am all in and I think my like I said, I looking back, you know that was forty years ago, well not really when I quit, you know, thirty years ago, and it was the constant. It didn't really matter how talented you were. It was who you know, who you need, if you fit the costume, if you you know that sort of thing. And I, like I said, I didn't believe I was good enough. So I and this is a lesson I learned, which was very contradictory in my head when I was young. So you want to fit in, right, you want to get in the show. Let's go form my fitness, my theater career. You want to get in the show, right, So you want to look like everybody to be actually just be in the chorus right, just to get it. But to look like everyone else, You're not going to be the star. Ah, So you have to you have to be different to be the star and to set yourself apart from everyone else. So I had conflicting goals in my head, I think, because I didn't have the confidence to be the star. And yet I probably was as good as now looking back, but I wanted to be in the show, so look like everyone else, and I kind of did you

10:28 know, I'm five to seven, I'm average height, I'm average look and that was my that was my fame. That was one of my bad intentional words of the year was I'm average. I look like everyone else. Well, you can't be average and succeed in my in my head, so so it the auditions and the rejections and that kind of just played on me a little too much and I wasn't enjoying it. It was difficult. I love the the routine of going to dance classes and going to voice lessons and acting, and I love that that that was exciting for me. It was the work and getting the work that was difficult. Yeah, it's a paradox, as you mentioned. And one of the things I want to highly highly encourage our women listeners is that you don't have to fit into any dress, you don't have to fit into any mold. You can step out just as you are and give yourself the permission to be who you are because you are good as you are, not even good, you're brilliant and you're amazing as you are. And that goes for men too. And what happens is that for women, so many times it's societal expectations. You got to be thin, you got to be doue and here's I'm going to openly share and be vulnerable that after having kids and you know, like in the my C section wasn't

12:01 the greatest, and you know, before you had you have this tight tummy and like, oh wow, you look good and all that, and then and it's not the same man. For a few years, I would be wearing like, you know, very loose tops and like, you know, trying it's almost like even trying to hide it. And then and then as I grew, we all go through it. We all at least don't about anyone else. I'm working progress and I'm continuously growing. I'm continuously learning and growing. If you're not where do you? Where are you? Right? It's now it's not that I don't care. It's about I accept myself as it is. And there is no one definition or one log that we got to look like that. The key is that you love yourself, know that you are great because you know what nature put us here. We don't question the trees around us, right, And you're the only you there is, So who's to say what you're supposed to look like? Yeah? I have a twenty year old and I mean she's beautiful, she's smart, she's she's all that I wish I was when I look at her when I was twenty, because she has more confidence and she has a great mom. I have to say, you know, but she is, she's really she's really wonderful in that sense. And you know, you don't have to be anybody.

13:31 You know, you, you are the only you, So you have you have play play you just be you. And yeah, but there's a such a high threshold not threshold standard that is put out there for these young girls. And I felt I felt it myself. My mother. You know, I've had and here's some transparency. I've had eating I've had body dysmorphia. I have eating issues because it as a dancer. And my mother had issues too. So it was all about what you looked like. And you know, I grew up I'm fifty seven, so I grew up in I was the only girl. Look cute, be silent, don't show emotions, you know all of that, and what does that mean? What does that mean to a five six, seven ten year old? But like, stifle myself?

14:26 How do I how do I be me and not be me? You know? So it's a different it's a different model, and I think I've learned, like you, I've accept Yeah. I look in the mirror sometimes and I'm like, oh, you know, but I'm not posing for any you know, GQ or Playboy or anything coming up. So I think I look okay, I'm healthy, I can move, I can work out, I can talk to you, I can do interviews. I can help my clients. I can help people. And that's what it comes down to, is that's what's important for me. Like you said, what's your what's your two years? Resolution? Minds an intention, minds to be peaceful, just be peaceful with and and and happy and just peaceful. You know, Yeah, I get it. Like you know, there are days and I always call myself, I don't know if anybody has seen Jerry Seinfeld, like you know Kramer, or my hair kind of goes like that. I don't know, and I'm like, cool, I can relate to Framer. So there are days when you feel that way, and it's it's about reminding yourself.

15:35 It's knowing that we all are perfectly imperfect and it's okay. That is something. You may have those doubts. It's just a matter of reminding yourself and giving yourself that permission. So once you finished your dancing career and that you came to terms, which was hard to let go of it, what was the next phase in your life. Well, I went back to fitness, believe it or not. So we were I was a gymnast, I was a track I was really quick. I was a really fast runner, and probably because I had strong muscles from dance. But we were also into, like I said, into fitness and sports. And so after a year, I had always been working out, but I joined a gym and I, you know, started taking class and I'm like, this will be fun.

16:23 And my girlfriend had started fit working out and fitness and a fitness company, and she's like, Lisa, come and join my water rubt class. And I said, okay, yeah, I love water, you know good. And then she's like, you should teach class. And I said okay, because I wasn't doing anything else. So I got my certification started teaching. Then I started teaching like step classes and aerobic classes. Because I was a dancer, so I knew rhythm and I knew choreography. You know, it was easy for me to put together a routine. Then some of the people in the class said, you know, I would love for you to train me. I was like, well, I'm not a personal trainer. So I went and got my personal training certification through the National Association of Sports Medicine, which was tough. But I love anatomy. Like I said, if I'm interested in something, I'm all in. And I was actually dating a medical student at the time, and he took me in the cadaver lab and so it was it was, you know, freaky at the beginning, but you know, I said thank you to the bodies that we were working on, and then it was amazing just to see muscles and stuff. And so I started my fitness company, which was ever more fit, and we lived in Chicago and I grew that pretty quickly, had some people working for me.

17:41 Worked a lot with seniors, and I love working with seniors, and actually in my business now work a lot with seniors and older people, which actually twenty years ago are people my age now, so I'm working with who I was working with then and loved it. And I loved fitness. I loved helping people starting with what they didn't know and teaching them and having them find things about their bodies and do things and either lose weight or get stronger so they can lift their grandkids up, and you know, and just the growth people were making literally literally and figuratively, you know, and committing to something that they didn't think they would do. I started saying to my clients when I would teach classes, is impress yourself. Do something a little bit more than you thought you could do, like you didn't think you could do it. Impress yourself. This is not to compete with anyone else in the class or the weights or how many rep just impress yourself do something more.

18:45 So that career, my second career lasted about twenty years. Again, about fifteen years or so, and then I got married, had my daughter and she was six months old, and my husband got a job at AOL, so we transferred to Virginia. So I'm in Virginia, Northern Virginia now just out of DC for the last twenty years. And then I started teaching some classes here, but it wasn't the same. I didn't know anyone, and just it just the fitness didn't work for me. I took classes and taught a couple of classes at the YMCA and a couple couple clubs, but I wanted to be a mom, and luckily I was able to, you know, stay at home with my daughter and teach when she was in school.

19:36 But that was fantastic. I loved I loved doing that. I loved teaching. Well, that's beautiful. And there's so many times women are thinking, oh, I got to have my career, you know, from putting it on hold. So a couple of things that are emerging for me is that your skill sets never go to said bas because what you had experienced in your dancing career, you could definitely and transfer it. Yes, of course, there's always some roads that you've got to take. You're not just going to be able to like, yeah, you know, take it from here and then transfer it easily. You were able to transfer your skill sets, So don't imagine like, oh, gosh, I'm changing my careers and I can't do anything about that in your skill sets and then it's okay to be a mom because here's what I can share that being a mom is the best job on the face of the earth, and I can personal experience, and so many times we can't. There is this sort of a snap foo around it, or even a taboo like, oh, if you don't have a career, then you've not achieved anything in life. And here's what I want to raise a toast, an imaginary toast to moms who staying home care of kids, because guess what, you are raising our next generation leaders. So do

21:07 not ever underestimate yourself. No, it is tough. It's a tough job. It is a tough job. So kudos to you for doing that. And as you said that, your daughter is now confident young ladies, she's a great kid. Yeah, so it goes to show. So then you mentioned that, and it was not the same in Virginia, didn't what happened? So I was on playdates with girlfriends and you know all that, and I we would just be sitting around and the kids would be playing, and a couple of my girlfriends would say, oh my gosh, my garage is such a mess, and I would say, well, let's organize it.

21:48 Or the kitchen was a mess, and oh, let's organize it. No, you don't want to do that, Yeah I do. I love organizing. And it was it was easy. It was just easy for me. Things made sense. Like like I said, I had ad D, so my brain works differently. I see things in categories and solutions for things. Now. When I was younger, before I knew how to do this, I would just do it for my mom and she would think that, oh, the house is dirty, or she thinks I'm you know, I'm judging. No Mom, it was and I didn't realize this, and we've talked. I mean, she's passed away, but we talked after I found out, and I said, I realized I used to do this to calm myself down. It wasn't because the house was messy. It was because I was uncomfortable somehow in my body, in the space. So doing this with girlfriends, they would say, wow, you're so good at this. And one of my girlfriends said we were doing she said, will you help me with my basement? We wanted to redo it, and you know, I don't know where to start. I was like, yeah, let me have it.

22:52 And her place was just filled and we went through it and it was so great, and she said, Lisa, you really should do this as a business. And again I said, this isn't a business. This is just something I'm good at. So back to confidence, right, how could something I'm really good at be worth it, you know, as a business or for someone else to benefit from it or you know, because it was just something I did, right, It just came naturally to me, and I thought, well, I'm going to do a little research and lo and behold, almost two decades ago, it's it's a business. And so I said, okay, well I had a business. Evermore fit was a business.

23:33 I needed insurance, I needed a name. I need to get incorporated, I need all of that stuff because I'm going to be in people's homes and I'm going to be touching their stuff and what if something breaks and all of that. So I started my company in two thousand and eight and didn't know the name. But you know how you start a business and you look at all the words and the things, the meanings and what you want out of it, and it came at the first company. The name of my company was leave It to Lisa, because I wanted people to just leave it to me. Let me help you, let's figure this out together. Leave it to Lisa. And so that was the name of my company when I first started, and it was just me, and then I started hiring some people. And I remember my daughter, so that was two thousand and eight, she was five, So I think about five. No, probably about seven or eight nine years old when I started hiring people because I got busier.

24:33 Just word of mouth, no advertisement, no, you know, I put magnets on my car maybe and just friends and friends would tell people and she said, Mommy, you're going to have to hire all Lisa's if you, you know, continue hiring people. And I said, what do you mean, Well, leave it to Lisa. And it's funny because people used to say and I'd say, well, one of my organizers will come and help you. Oh, Lisa's not coming. And I thought, oh, that's interesting, you know, it's interesting. So after what was it to twenty fifteen, I really thought about what I was doing for my clients, and yes, we were helping them with their stuff, but we were really mentoring our clients. And going back even to that, you know that teacher in high school, he mentored me, you know, he taught me how to do something better than I thought I could. And so I thought, that's what we're doing for our clients, because I truly believe if you want to be you can be organized. And even we work with not high end like high on the scale of orders, but even people that have way too much stuff and are considered orders are organized. It's organized chaos and it's a lot and sometimes it doesn't make sense, but to them it does. So it's it's I'm saying organize, very gen role and very you know, thinly

26:03 right. And I thought, what what are we doing? What are we doing for our clients? And we're mentoring them. So that's why I changed it to my the name of my company to the Organizing Mentors. I wanted to leave it. I wanted my name out of it. I wanted my you know, my personal name out of it so I could grow. And then I changed the tagline from what was it for leave it to Lisa, I don't know, you want your stuff is too much? Something like that, And so I changed it to the Organizing Mentors Reclaim your space mentally and physically, because that's what I thought clients were getting from me, and that's what my clients had told me was you know, you're helping with more than just my physical stuff. So that and that's where we're at now. Oh that's a beautiful story. So when you say that you're mentoring people, and so many times it happens, is I think so most of us are backgrads, and we hold on to things. Oh so for example, it could be something from all your child you know, Oh, this is so cute.

27:07 We gotta hold on now. So, as you have mentioned, like you know, you're helping people declutter their minds as well. So what is it that makes people hold on to things? There are many, many reasons. I myself and one of them. And I grew up with a family who kept things, who collected things, right. We you know, we didn't have much money. My parents' parents definitely didn't. And their parents and generations who don't have money, they don't pass on money. And even people who do, they pass on their stuff. And if you think about it, I'm Polish and Italian. They made their furniture, so I have handmade furniture because they couldn't afford, right, That's what they did. They built things, and so you pass those on? What do you do with them?

28:04 This is my great grandfather's He built this table. What am I supposed to just throw it away? You know? Like you know right, you keep that sentiments associated sentimental Oh my gosh, Like I love touching things in old houses and things like where did who touch this? You know? Like the energy behind things, and it's it's amazing, right, so you think, oh my gosh, my great grandfather touched this. He you know, he cut down the tree in his yard to make you know, how can we just get rid of this? You know? Or it's it's worth so much, right, not necessarily monetarily, And it doesn't matter monetarily if it means something to you, if there's sentimental, if there's a motion behind it, there's family, there's it's you know, it's been in your family.

28:56 You're the keeper of the stuff that it's a lot. That's a lot to bear, right, So we have responsibility. You asked about reasons we have responsibility. We have guilt. Well, I don't want it. It doesn't fit in my house, you know. Like my daughter, she's an only child. I don't want her to feel responsible for any of our stuff. If she wants it, you take it right. If you don't, we will get rid of it. Don't know. Stress And because I don't, I ask this one of my clients too. And I know my add takes me on little tangents, but I ask this on clients. Like you said, we keep things because they're emotional. Oh my child wore this or this and that. Right, the stuff that we keep that our parents, we think our parents want us to keep. I ask do you think your mom, your parents, your grandparents want if you feel a burden holding onto stuff, do you think they want you to feel that? And some people I do talks all the time and one person always say, oh, yeah, my mom did almost because their mom probably wanted them to feel it. And then my next question, yeah, right, because it makes sense, like think about it, like this is like go by it, like you know, thinking about my mom. My mom was like, oh, you know I have this from your grandma and I wanted to be passed down. So you're so there is that attached. So then what do people do in that situation? Because it's about letting go it was to have the expectations from your

30:30 parents. Yeah, so I then there's sentimental value. So how do you like bring this together and let it go guilt free? Mm hmm. My next question to people is do you want your children or your loved ones to feel that burden? Mm hmm. And most people ninety nine percent of the time will say no. But then the question to you is then what do I do with it? Right? My line that I ask people. And I love this and I just came to me during meditation once years ago, was the stuff about your stuff is not about your stuff, right, So the stuff we make up about our stuff, Like you just said, Mom wants me Mom, that's a story we tell ourselves because we've heard that story.

31:18 Right. It's not about the stuff itself. It's about the stuff. It's about what we tell ourselves. I'm not saying that's easy. That's just another tool to use. So you ask the what you need to what people need to ask. And this is what I talk about in my book, my clients and my friends and talks and all. This is if it's important to you, you'll keep it. If you can keep it, you'll keep it. The question is, what does it even mean? A lot of people don't even know why they're holding onto something. I have been viviot and right behind this wall is our storage space. My husband and I are thinking about moving. I keep stuff, right, I'm very sentimental. We have to go through it because I've just put things in bins for Oh someday I'll go through it. Yeah, guess what some days coming up because we want to move. You know, I always say someday is not a day of the week, so when is it? So the questions you have to ask yourself are do I want to hold on? Why am I holding onto this?

32:24 And sometimes, like I said, we don't even know why. And those questions are hard and difficult to ask and difficult to answer because you really have to be honest with yourself. And that's where I love working with my clients and people is let's find out the reasons. Why why are you holding onto this? What is the reason? So let's say our listeners are listening right now, So what would be a simple process for them that they could go and do it for themselves? It's doing theirs and this is the time if you're talking about achieving our goals. So one of the habits to do is, like you know, creating that clutter in your mind. So tell us two things. One, how can they create the clutter in their mind?

33:14 And how can they transfer that to things outside? Create the clutter in their mind or really cluttering mind, de cluttering the mind. Well, I wish I had a magic wand and a magic you know, bullet for for all of these answers. But it's very individual, just like it's just like a fitness program. Right, it's it's like everything. Uh, so leave it to Lisa is. Uh, there's an acronym. And as a person with a d D, I love acronyms because I remember things that way. So leave it to Lisa is l I T L And I created the little system l I T L. And it is four steps. Is actually two steps to make any decision in your life. So I'll teach your I'll teach your viewers right now, really really quickly. But they have to do the work right. The first Yeah, the first l is let it go.

34:13 Ahh, So what are the things like if I if you're looking at a bookshelf, right, what are the books you know you don't want instantly? You know I don't want this one. I don't want this one. It's the stuff you know you don't want instantly. Right, Yeah, you look at a closet. I'm going to go in those bins, right, I'm going to open one bin. Okay, this doesn't have marine my daughter's name is Marina, doesn't have the year she painted this, It doesn't have a signature. I can get rid of that. It's the stuff you know you don't want. So if their goal. If your viewer's goal is to declutter, first of all, how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time? Right, they're looking at their whole house, Right, you're looking at a whole project one bite at a time. It takes a long time.

35:04 It's like they used to say, you're pregnant. It takes you nine months to get that to gain that weight. Give yourself time. Right, you've been in your house fifty years. You're not going to get it done over the weekend. And that's stressful. Right, So one bite at a time, So let it go, go through each area in your house, because that's the easy step. That gives you confidence, that helps you declutter that the cluttered brain, right, declutter your brain and that mental I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it. It gives you confidence, Oh I can do this. Wow, I'll help. I'll let people like I want everything in my kitchen and I end up with, you know, a minivan full of stuff they don't want from their kitchen, because you don't know until you start asking the questions. Okay, so the I L L is intentional. What are the things you know you don't want?

35:49 Let it go. And then there's stuff, Oh gosh, this is grandma's. This is what my mom wanted me to keep. What am I going to do? And that's when you sit and you ask the questions and you get honest with yourself. This is also, oh that dress, Oh my gosh, I really want to fit back into that dress. We all have those. Or I spent so much money on that outfit and I never wore it. I had to do this with my closet. Just this weekend. I said, I haven't worn these sweaters. I'm not going to wear them. I spent a lot of just get rid of them. They're just taking up mental clutter, right. So those two steps simple, not easy, but those are the steps you take to make any decision in your life.

36:31 And we work with a lot of therapists, they refer us a lot. I say this all the time. You make those steps. You take those steps to make any decision in your life. We were at a restaurant the other day. My daughter is going to Milan for going study abroad next week. She's leaving. Well, I'm gonna have a lot of pasta. I don't want pasta for dinner. I just got back from Texas had a lot of seafood, so I think I'm gonna have steak. So she used the Little System to make even a decision on her menu. She started with what she knew she didn't want. The T is transform, so l L so you've transformed your space, You've transformed your confidence. Oh I can do this. Wow, I've made a little I've made a little change. And then the L the last L is love it and live it. So the letter live it. Oh that loving the space you're in and living in a clearer space. And they can go to my website and download the Little System for free so they can print it and put it on their you know, on their refrigerator or something. It just just a reminder, you know, to take those steps. So I hope that helps. So this thank you for sharing that and listeners, this is for you if you want to get immediately started. But let's say you know there are people who want to do a deep dive. How can they go about that? I know you've mentioned that you have a book. Where can they find details and if they want to work with you? Sure? Yeah, we do virtual well we are in north of Virginia, but we do virtual sometimes it's difficult, but we

38:04 do FaceTime. Like over COVID we realized, oh, we can actually work with people virtually right just like this, you get on a zoom call or you get on Facebook, I mean FaceTime, and you can do it. If the person's physically able to do the work and be moving things, that's, you know, that's the problem. If not, I have an association. I'm a certified Senior and Specialty move Manager through NASSAM, and I can hook them up with someone in their area. So I love that. I love having that, you know, that almost like matchmaking surface. Yeah. And my book is called Seventeen Spatulas and the Man Who frieda an Egg, and it is it's a compilation of twenty years of working with people and the stories they've told me about why we hold on to stuff physically and mentally.

38:52 And it's not about it's not a how to book, even though the system, the little system is described in it, but it is how to ask the questions why, which is kind of our theme today is how do you start asking those questions to move through that clutter? And if that's my goal this year to get through it, give yourself a year, you know, if you're not planning on moving, go through each each you know, room in your house a month and go through it slowly. Make those decisions because sometimes, like you said, they're very emotional and they're difficult. So if it's difficult, put it on the side. You know, sometimes I say, get your drink of choice, you know, glass of wine, a cup of tea, and put the TV on and go through that box of pictures or those papers from you know, a friend that passed away or whatever it is, because those are difficult. Those are difficult, and it's good.

39:47 You know, a lot of people have a lot of fear going through old memories. They believe that they're going to feel the same thing. They're going to feel that hurt, even a divorce or a death of a family member or a child or friend. And it's proven, you know, through therapist. You're yes, you're going to be emotional, You're going to feel those feelings, and it's good to do it because it's very cathartic. But you're not you're a different person than you were when they passed away or when the works happened. And there's a lot of grief that like another reason grief, you know, people don't go through things because of grief and the fear. We often we're afraid of even opening a box because our brain is already telling us what the story is about that box. So the fear we're creating is greater than opening that box. And that's the mental box also and the physical box. And that's where your book comes in, because, as you mentioned, it's about asking those questions, creating that safe space for yourself.

40:55 Yeah. There you allow that emotions to get processed and more through it and find you're not alone. And find you're not alone. That's what a lot of people said about reading the book, and that was one of my goals, Divia, was you're not alone. People read the book and they say, it sounds like you were in my closet or you were in my house, because that's exactly what they're going through, right. You know, I've worked with hundreds of clients over two decades, and yes, every story is unique, but they're all similar. They're all this, you know, similar in some way, you know, And so hopefully I have summarized enough for people to say, oh, okay, you know, my husband, this is amazing story that I try to tell any interview I'm my daughter's boyfriend is twenty and he read my book and he said, Marina, tell your mom that he has a difficult relationship with his dad and that I'm rethinking my real relationship with my dad because of her book. Yeah, as of something he's holding on, right, it doesn't serve him. And that's one of the reasons we keep stuff because it serves us in some way until it doesn't.

42:12 But you have to ask the questions why. M Yeah, it's asking the questions rather than answering it, letting the answer come to you. And sometimes it takes time, giving yourself the grace to have that time. So no, this was very powerful. Thank you Lisa for sharing it with some Thank you and do you have any quick last words before we wrap up the show. Well, you started the day the talk with Okay, it's you know, the middle of January. Maybe you haven't made your intentions or your you know, New Year's resolutions. Today is another day. Today is the first day the rest of your life. It's not a fall, it's a trip.

43:06 So just get back up because you're the only one that can do it for yourself. When it comes down to it. I can tell my daughter people can tell me I can have mentors. It comes down to me wanting to change, and it's hard. Change is hard, you know that. But if you really want it, you have to do it. I said that to myself this morning. I said, Lisa, you know you can't have bread at every meal because I went to bed with a stomach ache. I love bread, but I can't, you know, if I really want to get healthy, healthier, you know it just okay. So I had it yesterday, I didn't do it yesterday. Whatever it is, do it today absolutely, and remember everything is hard before it becomes easy. So listeners, you know, thank you so much for joining us, and you are amazing because you are the life and solo of our show. Reach out to us, let us know. How can we be of suppose to you?

44:00 How can we serve you to live the life you deserve and you want? So Thank you one for making the show technically possible. Be well and take it intill next time. Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host v Park, we hope you have learned more about how to start living the life you want. Each week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Vpark shares what happened to her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly with people across the globe. She not only coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life they want. If you are ready to live the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www dot dvpark dot com and you can connect with dvat contact at dvpark dot com.

44:57 We look forward to you joining us next week