Beyond Clutter: Mind and Matter

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:03.399
The topics and opinions expressed on the
following show are solely those of the hosts

2
00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:06.639
and their guests, and not those
of W four WN Radio it's employees or

3
00:00:06.639 --> 00:00:10.919
affiliates. We make no recommendations or
endorsement for radio show programs, services,

4
00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:14.800
or products mentioned on air or on
our web. No liability, explicit or

5
00:00:14.839 --> 00:00:18.800
implied shall be extended to W four
WN Radio, its employees or affiliates.

6
00:00:18.920 --> 00:00:22.000
Any questions or common should be directed
to those show hosts. Thank you for

7
00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:28.760
choosing W four WN Radio. This
is Beyond Confidence with your host w park.

8
00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:31.640
Do you want to live a more
fulfilling life? Do you want to

9
00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:36.119
live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional, and financial goals? Well?

10
00:00:36.280 --> 00:00:40.439
Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders,

11
00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:45.280
entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped
into discomfort, shattered their status quo,

12
00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:49.079
and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are

13
00:00:49.079 --> 00:00:54.039
the key to achieving your aspirations and
financial goals. Moving your career business forward

14
00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:57.439
does not have to happen at the
expense of your personal or family life,

15
00:00:57.560 --> 00:01:02.200
or vice versa. Learn more at
WWDS. You don't divopark dot com and

16
00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:07.319
you can connect with div ants contact
ants dvpark dot com. This is beyond

17
00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:14.480
confidence and now here's your host div
Park. Good morning listeners. So how

18
00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:21.400
is that New Year's resolution coming along? Whether it is one or whether there

19
00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:27.120
are many. So usually there's this
buzz going around on social media, and

20
00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:33.280
it has been going around for multiple
multiple years. Actually I've been doing it

21
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:37.959
for I would say at least a
couple of decades. The key to know

22
00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:41.959
is that you can have more than
one word, because what happens is sometimes

23
00:01:41.959 --> 00:01:46.959
if you're just so focused on one
word, it's hard to stay committed to

24
00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:51.719
it. So for this year,
out of my top three words, one

25
00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:56.599
word is consistency. And of course, as you'll know, consistency is you

26
00:01:56.640 --> 00:02:00.959
know we are meeting you every week. So what I want to talk about

27
00:02:01.079 --> 00:02:07.919
is a few of my clients have
already fallen off the wagon and they've lost

28
00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:14.159
that modio for the New Year's resolution. So it's super super important that you

29
00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:23.680
remain focused on tiny, tiny little
steps that bring you to realizing and converting

30
00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:29.599
from your goals into reality. And
for just for that reason, we are

31
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:36.800
giving you a gift of Atomic Habit. Summary like you don't have to read

32
00:02:36.840 --> 00:02:38.439
the whole book. No, no, no, you just kind of take

33
00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:44.319
We are giving you the distillation no
more than twelve minutes, so check out

34
00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:54.000
the link and be sure to download
the free gift. So now let's move

35
00:02:54.039 --> 00:03:00.159
on and bring in on our guest, Malcolm Lisa, are you good morning?

36
00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:07.080
Good morning? So tell us if
you recall a moment or a person

37
00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:13.080
from your childhood that still stands up
for you even today. For me,

38
00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:17.560
person from my childhood, uh,
I, Well, first person that comes

39
00:03:17.599 --> 00:03:25.960
to mind is my social studies teacher
in I guess it was freshman year in

40
00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:32.840
high school. I don't know why
he came to mind. Yeah he was.

41
00:03:32.919 --> 00:03:37.960
He was. I have add and
I didn't know that when I was

42
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:44.639
in high school, and the way
he taught, I guess I wasn't a

43
00:03:44.759 --> 00:03:47.520
very bright, quick learner because it
took me. It takes me a long

44
00:03:47.599 --> 00:03:54.599
time to understand things because of my
add I believe and he I guess he

45
00:03:54.719 --> 00:04:00.719
I can't even I can't even put
it towards he demonstrated or he I'm a

46
00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:05.199
visual learner, so I think he
demonstrated and he acted things out and I

47
00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:11.639
was able to learn a lot better, and I remember he was years later,

48
00:04:11.719 --> 00:04:15.159
I actually transferred high schools. I
was a performer. I was a

49
00:04:15.240 --> 00:04:19.279
dancer my first career, and I
transferred, and I remember writing him a

50
00:04:19.319 --> 00:04:25.120
note my freshman year and saying,
thank you so much for teaching me,

51
00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:29.920
because you were one of my favorite
teachers. And then years later I was

52
00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:35.680
dancing in the Magic Flute in the
Chicago Opera House, the Opera House in

53
00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:42.920
Chicago, and he was one of
the singers, and it was crazy and

54
00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:45.959
I haven't had that thought. Thank
you so much for that thought, for

55
00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:48.279
that memory. I hadn't thought about
that in years. And I said are

56
00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:51.319
you and he yeah, yeah,
I mean we didn't look very different.

57
00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:57.079
It was probably five six years later, but yeah, yeah, that's the

58
00:04:57.120 --> 00:04:59.480
first person that came to mind.
I haven't thought of him in oh my

59
00:04:59.560 --> 00:05:04.120
gosh, long time. Wow.
And thank you for that. Yeah,

60
00:05:04.279 --> 00:05:10.399
no, thank you for sharing.
This brings us to a circle of kindness

61
00:05:10.399 --> 00:05:15.399
that you don't know a little thing
you may do for someone can change somebody's

62
00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:19.199
life or leave that impact. So
so many times, a lot of people

63
00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:24.279
as they're reading my book Expert to
Influencer, they'll be asking me, oh,

64
00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:27.560
Divia, you know you need to
have, you know, so many

65
00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:30.360
followers and all that. No,
no, no, no no, It's

66
00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:34.639
about bringing that kindness into your life, into every interaction, or at least

67
00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:40.920
as much as you can. So
you mentioned that you had interest in dancing,

68
00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:43.959
and sounds like you did some performances. So tell us about that part

69
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:47.399
of your life. You know what
got you interested in dancing. So I

70
00:05:47.399 --> 00:05:51.879
have three brothers, and my oldest
brother. Both of my oldest brothers were

71
00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:58.639
dancers on Broadway and all around the
world, and I did a little bit.

72
00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:03.079
I did the country, and we
the reason the story goes my oldest

73
00:06:03.079 --> 00:06:06.879
brother. They were in Chicago,
my mom, my dad, and my

74
00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:11.879
oldest brother, and there were no
kids in their neighborhood. And so my

75
00:06:12.160 --> 00:06:15.879
mom saw a dance studio and threw
my brother into dance, just so he

76
00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:18.399
would have you know, when he
was like four, three, four or

77
00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:25.839
five years old, before kindergarten.
I guess and loved it. And so

78
00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:29.519
my next brother came along, and
she threw him in class, and so

79
00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:33.319
she got a little time, you
know, to meeting other moms. And

80
00:06:33.399 --> 00:06:36.920
then we moved out to the suburbs. I came along. She immediately found

81
00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:42.040
a dance studio because my oldest brother, Drew and Paul wanted to dance.

82
00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:46.240
So then I got into dance,
and and then my youngest brother came along

83
00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:49.120
and we got in and we were
all dancers. We used to do a

84
00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:56.560
little family act when we were young. We'd perform at senior communities and you

85
00:06:56.600 --> 00:07:01.800
know, little luncheons and you know, things like that. And my oldest

86
00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:06.360
brother went to school at Indiana and
then he auditioned for a chorus line when

87
00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:11.160
he was I think of freshman in
college and got it and never looked back.

88
00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:14.480
And he toured the United States,
I mean the world, and went

89
00:07:14.519 --> 00:07:17.560
on Broadway, and so did my
older brother. I went to the performing

90
00:07:17.639 --> 00:07:21.800
arts high school that my oldest brother
paid for for me because my family couldn't

91
00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:27.399
afford it. And I danced,
and I was the count in Sesame Street.

92
00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:31.639
That's my big claim to fame on
a tour. And when I hit

93
00:07:31.800 --> 00:07:36.639
about twenty five, because I'd been
dancing since, you know, baby,

94
00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:42.000
we were also in sports. We
were in fitness and sports and gymnastics.

95
00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:45.879
We were very active kids. And
at twenty five, I said, you

96
00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:49.480
know what, I'm just not There's
a lot leading up to it, and

97
00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:54.480
actually in my book, I tell
a story about how I think a lot

98
00:07:54.519 --> 00:07:59.839
of it switched for me, and
I just said, it's just it's not

99
00:07:59.879 --> 00:08:05.079
for me anymore. It was very
unsettling. I was I call myself a

100
00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:09.600
professional waitress who danced and sang and
acted every once in a while. And

101
00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:15.680
so I took a year off and
I waitressed and I just enjoyed myself.

102
00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:18.720
There wasn't stress. And after a
year I said, you know what,

103
00:08:18.839 --> 00:08:22.639
I don't miss it anymore. It
was very difficult, and I don't think

104
00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:28.439
I loved it enough and had a
passionate and a confidence in myself to keep

105
00:08:28.480 --> 00:08:33.440
going. M you know all that
it was too much for me. Yeah,

106
00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:41.360
right now it makes sense because it
requires a lot of practice because it's

107
00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:46.120
it's it's a regorous career, not
all it is engaged. You have to

108
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:48.919
be mentally present because in a one
wrong move and everything looks out of sync

109
00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:56.639
exactly exactly lessons you learn from that
time because it's just like any other sport.

110
00:08:56.799 --> 00:09:03.759
It requires intense which I loved.
I really love when I enjoy something,

111
00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:11.360
I am all in and I think
my like I said, I looking

112
00:09:11.399 --> 00:09:13.200
back, you know that was forty
years ago, well not really when I

113
00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:18.399
quit, you know, thirty years
ago, and it was the constant.

114
00:09:20.679 --> 00:09:24.120
It didn't really matter how talented you
were. It was who you know,

115
00:09:24.759 --> 00:09:30.919
who you need, if you fit
the costume, if you you know that

116
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:39.279
sort of thing. And I,
like I said, I didn't believe I

117
00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:45.440
was good enough. So I and
this is a lesson I learned, which

118
00:09:45.519 --> 00:09:48.360
was very contradictory in my head when
I was young. So you want to

119
00:09:48.360 --> 00:09:50.879
fit in, right, you want
to get in the show. Let's go

120
00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:54.799
form my fitness, my theater career. You want to get in the show,

121
00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:58.039
right, So you want to look
like everybody to be actually just be

122
00:09:58.080 --> 00:10:03.559
in the chorus right, just to
get it. But to look like everyone

123
00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:07.519
else, You're not going to be
the star. Ah, So you have

124
00:10:07.559 --> 00:10:11.639
to you have to be different to
be the star and to set yourself apart

125
00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:18.039
from everyone else. So I had
conflicting goals in my head, I think,

126
00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:20.559
because I didn't have the confidence to
be the star. And yet I

127
00:10:20.720 --> 00:10:26.639
probably was as good as now looking
back, but I wanted to be in

128
00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:28.879
the show, so look like everyone
else, and I kind of did you

129
00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:33.639
know, I'm five to seven,
I'm average height, I'm average look and

130
00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:37.840
that was my that was my fame. That was one of my bad intentional

131
00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:41.799
words of the year was I'm average. I look like everyone else. Well,

132
00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:46.879
you can't be average and succeed in
my in my head, so so

133
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:50.639
it the auditions and the rejections and
that kind of just played on me a

134
00:10:50.679 --> 00:10:56.200
little too much and I wasn't enjoying
it. It was difficult. I love

135
00:10:56.320 --> 00:11:01.600
the the routine of going to dance
classes and going to voice lessons and acting,

136
00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:07.000
and I love that that that was
exciting for me. It was the

137
00:11:07.080 --> 00:11:11.960
work and getting the work that was
difficult. Yeah, it's a paradox,

138
00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:16.519
as you mentioned. And one of
the things I want to highly highly encourage

139
00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:22.320
our women listeners is that you don't
have to fit into any dress, you

140
00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:26.759
don't have to fit into any mold. You can step out just as you

141
00:11:26.840 --> 00:11:33.120
are and give yourself the permission to
be who you are because you are good

142
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:39.799
as you are, not even good, you're brilliant and you're amazing as you

143
00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:43.600
are. And that goes for men
too. And what happens is that for

144
00:11:43.679 --> 00:11:48.039
women, so many times it's societal
expectations. You got to be thin,

145
00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:52.519
you got to be doue and here's
I'm going to openly share and be vulnerable

146
00:11:52.639 --> 00:12:01.200
that after having kids and you know, like in the my C section wasn't

147
00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:07.159
the greatest, and you know,
before you had you have this tight tummy

148
00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:09.559
and like, oh wow, you
look good and all that, and then

149
00:12:09.639 --> 00:12:15.200
and it's not the same man.
For a few years, I would be

150
00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:16.919
wearing like, you know, very
loose tops and like, you know,

151
00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:22.279
trying it's almost like even trying to
hide it. And then and then as

152
00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:26.720
I grew, we all go through
it. We all at least don't about

153
00:12:28.200 --> 00:12:31.480
anyone else. I'm working progress and
I'm continuously growing. I'm continuously learning and

154
00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:35.080
growing. If you're not where do
you? Where are you? Right?

155
00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:45.679
It's now it's not that I don't
care. It's about I accept myself as

156
00:12:45.720 --> 00:12:50.159
it is. And there is no
one definition or one log that we got

157
00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:56.679
to look like that. The key
is that you love yourself, know that

158
00:12:56.759 --> 00:13:01.039
you are great because you know what
nature put us here. We don't question

159
00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:05.320
the trees around us, right,
And you're the only you there is,

160
00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:09.000
So who's to say what you're supposed
to look like? Yeah? I have

161
00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:13.840
a twenty year old and I mean
she's beautiful, she's smart, she's she's

162
00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:18.159
all that I wish I was when
I look at her when I was twenty,

163
00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:20.360
because she has more confidence and she
has a great mom. I have

164
00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:26.639
to say, you know, but
she is, she's really she's really wonderful

165
00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:30.960
in that sense. And you know, you don't have to be anybody.

166
00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:35.600
You know, you, you are
the only you, So you have you

167
00:13:35.679 --> 00:13:41.360
have play play you just be you. And yeah, but there's a such

168
00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:50.080
a high threshold not threshold standard that
is put out there for these young girls.

169
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.240
And I felt I felt it myself. My mother. You know,

170
00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:58.279
I've had and here's some transparency.
I've had eating I've had body dysmorphia.

171
00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:01.919
I have eating issues because it as
a dancer. And my mother had issues

172
00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:05.120
too. So it was all about
what you looked like. And you know,

173
00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:09.840
I grew up I'm fifty seven,
so I grew up in I was

174
00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:16.960
the only girl. Look cute,
be silent, don't show emotions, you

175
00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:20.480
know all of that, and what
does that mean? What does that mean

176
00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:26.159
to a five six, seven ten
year old? But like, stifle myself?

177
00:14:26.600 --> 00:14:31.919
How do I how do I be
me and not be me? You

178
00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:35.159
know? So it's a different it's
a different model, and I think I've

179
00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:39.000
learned, like you, I've accept
Yeah. I look in the mirror sometimes

180
00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:43.919
and I'm like, oh, you
know, but I'm not posing for any

181
00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:48.399
you know, GQ or Playboy or
anything coming up. So I think I

182
00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:50.360
look okay, I'm healthy, I
can move, I can work out,

183
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:54.399
I can talk to you, I
can do interviews. I can help my

184
00:14:54.440 --> 00:14:58.080
clients. I can help people.
And that's what it comes down to,

185
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.360
is that's what's important for me.
Like you said, what's your what's your

186
00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:07.519
two years? Resolution? Minds an
intention, minds to be peaceful, just

187
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:13.919
be peaceful with and and and happy
and just peaceful. You know, Yeah,

188
00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:18.399
I get it. Like you know, there are days and I always

189
00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:20.519
call myself, I don't know if
anybody has seen Jerry Seinfeld, like you

190
00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:24.480
know Kramer, or my hair kind
of goes like that. I don't know,

191
00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:28.519
and I'm like, cool, I
can relate to Framer. So there

192
00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:33.960
are days when you feel that way, and it's it's about reminding yourself.

193
00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:41.679
It's knowing that we all are perfectly
imperfect and it's okay. That is something.

194
00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:45.840
You may have those doubts. It's
just a matter of reminding yourself and

195
00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:52.559
giving yourself that permission. So once
you finished your dancing career and that you

196
00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.279
came to terms, which was hard
to let go of it, what was

197
00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:00.399
the next phase in your life.
Well, I went back to fitness,

198
00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:04.960
believe it or not. So we
were I was a gymnast, I was

199
00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:08.519
a track I was really quick.
I was a really fast runner, and

200
00:16:10.039 --> 00:16:12.600
probably because I had strong muscles from
dance. But we were also into,

201
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:18.840
like I said, into fitness and
sports. And so after a year,

202
00:16:18.039 --> 00:16:22.279
I had always been working out,
but I joined a gym and I,

203
00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:23.960
you know, started taking class and
I'm like, this will be fun.

204
00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:29.960
And my girlfriend had started fit working
out and fitness and a fitness company,

205
00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:33.000
and she's like, Lisa, come
and join my water rubt class. And

206
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:34.759
I said, okay, yeah,
I love water, you know good.

207
00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:37.919
And then she's like, you should
teach class. And I said okay,

208
00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:41.720
because I wasn't doing anything else.
So I got my certification started teaching.

209
00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:45.879
Then I started teaching like step classes
and aerobic classes. Because I was a

210
00:16:45.960 --> 00:16:49.840
dancer, so I knew rhythm and
I knew choreography. You know, it

211
00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:53.840
was easy for me to put together
a routine. Then some of the people

212
00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:57.320
in the class said, you know, I would love for you to train

213
00:16:57.399 --> 00:17:00.000
me. I was like, well, I'm not a personal trainer. So

214
00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:07.319
I went and got my personal training
certification through the National Association of Sports Medicine,

215
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:10.559
which was tough. But I love
anatomy. Like I said, if

216
00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:17.079
I'm interested in something, I'm all
in. And I was actually dating a

217
00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:21.079
medical student at the time, and
he took me in the cadaver lab and

218
00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:22.680
so it was it was, you
know, freaky at the beginning, but

219
00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:26.319
you know, I said thank you
to the bodies that we were working on,

220
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:32.440
and then it was amazing just to
see muscles and stuff. And so

221
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:36.640
I started my fitness company, which
was ever more fit, and we lived

222
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:41.359
in Chicago and I grew that pretty
quickly, had some people working for me.

223
00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:45.200
Worked a lot with seniors, and
I love working with seniors, and

224
00:17:45.240 --> 00:17:48.799
actually in my business now work a
lot with seniors and older people, which

225
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:53.680
actually twenty years ago are people my
age now, so I'm working with who

226
00:17:53.720 --> 00:18:00.400
I was working with then and loved
it. And I loved fitness. I

227
00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:07.079
loved helping people starting with what they
didn't know and teaching them and having them

228
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:11.880
find things about their bodies and do
things and either lose weight or get stronger

229
00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:15.559
so they can lift their grandkids up, and you know, and just the

230
00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:22.359
growth people were making literally literally and
figuratively, you know, and committing to

231
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:26.920
something that they didn't think they would
do. I started saying to my clients

232
00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:33.039
when I would teach classes, is
impress yourself. Do something a little bit

233
00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:36.359
more than you thought you could do, like you didn't think you could do

234
00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:40.200
it. Impress yourself. This is
not to compete with anyone else in the

235
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:45.480
class or the weights or how many
rep just impress yourself do something more.

236
00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:53.160
So that career, my second career
lasted about twenty years. Again, about

237
00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:59.079
fifteen years or so, and then
I got married, had my daughter and

238
00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:03.759
she was six months old, and
my husband got a job at AOL,

239
00:19:03.880 --> 00:19:07.519
so we transferred to Virginia. So
I'm in Virginia, Northern Virginia now just

240
00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:14.359
out of DC for the last twenty
years. And then I started teaching some

241
00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:18.279
classes here, but it wasn't the
same. I didn't know anyone, and

242
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:23.160
just it just the fitness didn't work
for me. I took classes and taught

243
00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:27.839
a couple of classes at the YMCA
and a couple couple clubs, but I

244
00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:30.160
wanted to be a mom, and
luckily I was able to, you know,

245
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:34.759
stay at home with my daughter and
teach when she was in school.

246
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:38.759
But that was fantastic. I loved
I loved doing that. I loved teaching.

247
00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:48.839
Well, that's beautiful. And there's
so many times women are thinking,

248
00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:52.640
oh, I got to have my
career, you know, from putting it

249
00:19:52.680 --> 00:19:56.119
on hold. So a couple of
things that are emerging for me is that

250
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:03.920
your skill sets never go to said
bas because what you had experienced in your

251
00:20:04.000 --> 00:20:08.319
dancing career, you could definitely and
transfer it. Yes, of course,

252
00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:12.240
there's always some roads that you've got
to take. You're not just going to

253
00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:15.759
be able to like, yeah,
you know, take it from here and

254
00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:18.759
then transfer it easily. You were
able to transfer your skill sets, So

255
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:23.720
don't imagine like, oh, gosh, I'm changing my careers and I can't

256
00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:30.880
do anything about that in your skill
sets and then it's okay to be a

257
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:38.200
mom because here's what I can share
that being a mom is the best job

258
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:44.759
on the face of the earth,
and I can personal experience, and so

259
00:20:44.839 --> 00:20:49.759
many times we can't. There is
this sort of a snap foo around it,

260
00:20:49.920 --> 00:20:53.480
or even a taboo like, oh, if you don't have a career,

261
00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:57.240
then you've not achieved anything in life. And here's what I want to

262
00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:03.799
raise a toast, an imaginary toast
to moms who staying home care of kids,

263
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:07.480
because guess what, you are raising
our next generation leaders. So do

264
00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:11.400
not ever underestimate yourself. No,
it is tough. It's a tough job.

265
00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:15.079
It is a tough job. So
kudos to you for doing that.

266
00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:21.079
And as you said that, your
daughter is now confident young ladies, she's

267
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:25.039
a great kid. Yeah, so
it goes to show. So then you

268
00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:27.200
mentioned that, and it was not
the same in Virginia, didn't what happened?

269
00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:37.319
So I was on playdates with girlfriends
and you know all that, and

270
00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:42.440
I we would just be sitting around
and the kids would be playing, and

271
00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:45.559
a couple of my girlfriends would say, oh my gosh, my garage is

272
00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:48.400
such a mess, and I would
say, well, let's organize it.

273
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:51.880
Or the kitchen was a mess,
and oh, let's organize it. No,

274
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:55.519
you don't want to do that,
Yeah I do. I love organizing.

275
00:21:56.200 --> 00:21:59.799
And it was it was easy.
It was just easy for me.

276
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:04.599
Things made sense. Like like I
said, I had ad D, so

277
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:11.640
my brain works differently. I see
things in categories and solutions for things.

278
00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:17.119
Now. When I was younger,
before I knew how to do this,

279
00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:19.880
I would just do it for my
mom and she would think that, oh,

280
00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:22.240
the house is dirty, or she
thinks I'm you know, I'm judging.

281
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:26.079
No Mom, it was and I
didn't realize this, and we've talked.

282
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:27.960
I mean, she's passed away,
but we talked after I found out,

283
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:32.160
and I said, I realized I
used to do this to calm myself

284
00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:34.799
down. It wasn't because the house
was messy. It was because I was

285
00:22:34.880 --> 00:22:41.880
uncomfortable somehow in my body, in
the space. So doing this with girlfriends,

286
00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:44.680
they would say, wow, you're
so good at this. And one

287
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:47.680
of my girlfriends said we were doing
she said, will you help me with

288
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:49.519
my basement? We wanted to redo
it, and you know, I don't

289
00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:52.799
know where to start. I was
like, yeah, let me have it.

290
00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:57.480
And her place was just filled and
we went through it and it was

291
00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:00.359
so great, and she said,
Lisa, you really should do this as

292
00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:04.599
a business. And again I said, this isn't a business. This is

293
00:23:04.680 --> 00:23:10.200
just something I'm good at. So
back to confidence, right, how could

294
00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:14.160
something I'm really good at be worth
it, you know, as a business

295
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:17.720
or for someone else to benefit from
it or you know, because it was

296
00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:21.240
just something I did, right,
It just came naturally to me, and

297
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:25.839
I thought, well, I'm going
to do a little research and lo and

298
00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:30.279
behold, almost two decades ago,
it's it's a business. And so I

299
00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:33.799
said, okay, well I had
a business. Evermore fit was a business.

300
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:37.079
I needed insurance, I needed a
name. I need to get incorporated,

301
00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:41.680
I need all of that stuff because
I'm going to be in people's homes

302
00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:45.720
and I'm going to be touching their
stuff and what if something breaks and all

303
00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:52.720
of that. So I started my
company in two thousand and eight and didn't

304
00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:56.599
know the name. But you know
how you start a business and you look

305
00:23:56.640 --> 00:24:00.559
at all the words and the things, the meanings and what you want out

306
00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:03.920
of it, and it came at
the first company. The name of my

307
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:08.759
company was leave It to Lisa,
because I wanted people to just leave it

308
00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:15.400
to me. Let me help you, let's figure this out together. Leave

309
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:18.200
it to Lisa. And so that
was the name of my company when I

310
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:22.160
first started, and it was just
me, and then I started hiring some

311
00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:25.720
people. And I remember my daughter, so that was two thousand and eight,

312
00:24:25.799 --> 00:24:30.160
she was five, So I think
about five. No, probably about

313
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:33.480
seven or eight nine years old when
I started hiring people because I got busier.

314
00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:37.920
Just word of mouth, no advertisement, no, you know, I

315
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:41.839
put magnets on my car maybe and
just friends and friends would tell people and

316
00:24:41.880 --> 00:24:45.039
she said, Mommy, you're going
to have to hire all Lisa's if you,

317
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:48.839
you know, continue hiring people.
And I said, what do you

318
00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:52.799
mean, Well, leave it to
Lisa. And it's funny because people used

319
00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:56.039
to say and I'd say, well, one of my organizers will come and

320
00:24:56.079 --> 00:24:59.279
help you. Oh, Lisa's not
coming. And I thought, oh,

321
00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:04.039
that's interesting, you know, it's
interesting. So after what was it to

322
00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:11.319
twenty fifteen, I really thought about
what I was doing for my clients,

323
00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:17.799
and yes, we were helping them
with their stuff, but we were really

324
00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:22.640
mentoring our clients. And going back
even to that, you know that teacher

325
00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:26.079
in high school, he mentored me, you know, he taught me how

326
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:30.440
to do something better than I thought
I could. And so I thought,

327
00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:33.680
that's what we're doing for our clients, because I truly believe if you want

328
00:25:33.759 --> 00:25:38.000
to be you can be organized.
And even we work with not high end

329
00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:42.720
like high on the scale of orders, but even people that have way too

330
00:25:42.839 --> 00:25:51.279
much stuff and are considered orders are
organized. It's organized chaos and it's a

331
00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:56.920
lot and sometimes it doesn't make sense, but to them it does. So

332
00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:03.240
it's it's I'm saying organize, very
gen role and very you know, thinly

333
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:07.559
right. And I thought, what
what are we doing? What are we

334
00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:11.720
doing for our clients? And we're
mentoring them. So that's why I changed

335
00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:15.880
it to my the name of my
company to the Organizing Mentors. I wanted

336
00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:18.240
to leave it. I wanted my
name out of it. I wanted my

337
00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:21.680
you know, my personal name out
of it so I could grow. And

338
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:27.640
then I changed the tagline from what
was it for leave it to Lisa,

339
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:32.480
I don't know, you want your
stuff is too much? Something like that,

340
00:26:32.920 --> 00:26:37.599
And so I changed it to the
Organizing Mentors Reclaim your space mentally and

341
00:26:37.640 --> 00:26:42.119
physically, because that's what I thought
clients were getting from me, and that's

342
00:26:42.119 --> 00:26:47.359
what my clients had told me was
you know, you're helping with more than

343
00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:52.799
just my physical stuff. So that
and that's where we're at now. Oh

344
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:56.599
that's a beautiful story. So when
you say that you're mentoring people, and

345
00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:00.599
so many times it happens, is
I think so most of us are backgrads,

346
00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.440
and we hold on to things.
Oh so for example, it could

347
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:07.599
be something from all your child you
know, Oh, this is so cute.

348
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:11.960
We gotta hold on now. So, as you have mentioned, like

349
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:17.319
you know, you're helping people declutter
their minds as well. So what is

350
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:22.599
it that makes people hold on to
things? There are many, many reasons.

351
00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:29.880
I myself and one of them.
And I grew up with a family

352
00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:33.559
who kept things, who collected things, right. We you know, we

353
00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:40.400
didn't have much money. My parents'
parents definitely didn't. And their parents and

354
00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:45.960
generations who don't have money, they
don't pass on money. And even people

355
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:51.640
who do, they pass on their
stuff. And if you think about it,

356
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:56.039
I'm Polish and Italian. They made
their furniture, so I have handmade

357
00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:00.319
furniture because they couldn't afford, right, That's what they did. They built

358
00:28:00.359 --> 00:28:04.720
things, and so you pass those
on? What do you do with them?

359
00:28:04.839 --> 00:28:10.200
This is my great grandfather's He built
this table. What am I supposed

360
00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:12.759
to just throw it away? You
know? Like you know right, you

361
00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:19.279
keep that sentiments associated sentimental Oh my
gosh, Like I love touching things in

362
00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:25.240
old houses and things like where did
who touch this? You know? Like

363
00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:30.599
the energy behind things, and it's
it's amazing, right, so you think,

364
00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:33.400
oh my gosh, my great grandfather
touched this. He you know,

365
00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:37.880
he cut down the tree in his
yard to make you know, how can

366
00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:41.720
we just get rid of this?
You know? Or it's it's worth so

367
00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:48.039
much, right, not necessarily monetarily, And it doesn't matter monetarily if it

368
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:52.519
means something to you, if there's
sentimental, if there's a motion behind it,

369
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:56.960
there's family, there's it's you know, it's been in your family.

370
00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:00.720
You're the keeper of the stuff that
it's a lot. That's a lot to

371
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:04.720
bear, right, So we have
responsibility. You asked about reasons we have

372
00:29:04.759 --> 00:29:10.480
responsibility. We have guilt. Well, I don't want it. It doesn't

373
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:12.440
fit in my house, you know. Like my daughter, she's an only

374
00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:17.039
child. I don't want her to
feel responsible for any of our stuff.

375
00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:21.279
If she wants it, you take
it right. If you don't, we

376
00:29:21.319 --> 00:29:25.440
will get rid of it. Don't
know. Stress And because I don't,

377
00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:27.440
I ask this one of my clients
too. And I know my add takes

378
00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:30.960
me on little tangents, but I
ask this on clients. Like you said,

379
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:36.279
we keep things because they're emotional.
Oh my child wore this or this

380
00:29:36.359 --> 00:29:42.200
and that. Right, the stuff
that we keep that our parents, we

381
00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:48.200
think our parents want us to keep. I ask do you think your mom,

382
00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:52.400
your parents, your grandparents want if
you feel a burden holding onto stuff,

383
00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:56.400
do you think they want you to
feel that? And some people I

384
00:29:56.440 --> 00:29:57.839
do talks all the time and one
person always say, oh, yeah,

385
00:29:57.880 --> 00:30:04.400
my mom did almost because their mom
probably wanted them to feel it. And

386
00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:08.160
then my next question, yeah,
right, because it makes sense, like

387
00:30:08.279 --> 00:30:11.599
think about it, like this is
like go by it, like you know,

388
00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:15.799
thinking about my mom. My mom
was like, oh, you know

389
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:21.240
I have this from your grandma and
I wanted to be passed down. So

390
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:25.799
you're so there is that attached.
So then what do people do in that

391
00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:30.920
situation? Because it's about letting go
it was to have the expectations from your

392
00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:34.799
parents. Yeah, so I then
there's sentimental value. So how do you

393
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:41.000
like bring this together and let it
go guilt free? Mm hmm. My

394
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:45.279
next question to people is do you
want your children or your loved ones to

395
00:30:45.400 --> 00:30:51.119
feel that burden? Mm hmm.
And most people ninety nine percent of the

396
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:55.319
time will say no. But then
the question to you is then what do

397
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:59.559
I do with it? Right?
My line that I ask people. And

398
00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:03.799
I love this and I just came
to me during meditation once years ago,

399
00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:10.599
was the stuff about your stuff is
not about your stuff, right, So

400
00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:15.000
the stuff we make up about our
stuff, Like you just said, Mom

401
00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:18.599
wants me Mom, that's a story
we tell ourselves because we've heard that story.

402
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:22.039
Right. It's not about the stuff
itself. It's about the stuff.

403
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:26.039
It's about what we tell ourselves.
I'm not saying that's easy. That's just

404
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:34.079
another tool to use. So you
ask the what you need to what people

405
00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:37.599
need to ask. And this is
what I talk about in my book,

406
00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:41.359
my clients and my friends and talks
and all. This is if it's important

407
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:45.839
to you, you'll keep it.
If you can keep it, you'll keep

408
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:49.559
it. The question is, what
does it even mean? A lot of

409
00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:55.599
people don't even know why they're holding
onto something. I have been viviot and

410
00:31:55.960 --> 00:31:59.759
right behind this wall is our storage
space. My husband and I are thinking

411
00:31:59.759 --> 00:32:04.680
about moving. I keep stuff,
right, I'm very sentimental. We have

412
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:08.839
to go through it because I've just
put things in bins for Oh someday I'll

413
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:13.880
go through it. Yeah, guess
what some days coming up because we want

414
00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:15.599
to move. You know, I
always say someday is not a day of

415
00:32:15.640 --> 00:32:20.240
the week, so when is it? So the questions you have to ask

416
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:23.839
yourself are do I want to hold
on? Why am I holding onto this?

417
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:27.960
And sometimes, like I said,
we don't even know why. And

418
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:32.319
those questions are hard and difficult to
ask and difficult to answer because you really

419
00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:38.400
have to be honest with yourself.
And that's where I love working with my

420
00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:45.200
clients and people is let's find out
the reasons. Why why are you holding

421
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:51.799
onto this? What is the reason? So let's say our listeners are listening

422
00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:55.920
right now, So what would be
a simple process for them that they could

423
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:01.400
go and do it for themselves?
It's doing theirs and this is the time

424
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:07.400
if you're talking about achieving our goals. So one of the habits to do

425
00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:10.079
is, like you know, creating
that clutter in your mind. So tell

426
00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:14.480
us two things. One, how
can they create the clutter in their mind?

427
00:33:14.559 --> 00:33:20.640
And how can they transfer that to
things outside? Create the clutter in

428
00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:27.640
their mind or really cluttering mind,
de cluttering the mind. Well, I

429
00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:30.640
wish I had a magic wand and
a magic you know, bullet for for

430
00:33:30.759 --> 00:33:35.359
all of these answers. But it's
very individual, just like it's just like

431
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:39.319
a fitness program. Right, it's
it's like everything. Uh, so leave

432
00:33:39.319 --> 00:33:45.160
it to Lisa is. Uh,
there's an acronym. And as a person

433
00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:47.279
with a d D, I love
acronyms because I remember things that way.

434
00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:52.680
So leave it to Lisa is l
I T L And I created the little

435
00:33:52.759 --> 00:34:00.559
system l I T L. And
it is four steps. Is actually two

436
00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:04.720
steps to make any decision in your
life. So I'll teach your I'll teach

437
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:07.079
your viewers right now, really really
quickly. But they have to do the

438
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:12.679
work right. The first Yeah,
the first l is let it go.

439
00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:17.159
Ahh, So what are the things
like if I if you're looking at a

440
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:23.119
bookshelf, right, what are the
books you know you don't want instantly?

441
00:34:23.599 --> 00:34:27.239
You know I don't want this one. I don't want this one. It's

442
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:32.920
the stuff you know you don't want
instantly. Right, Yeah, you look

443
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:36.719
at a closet. I'm going to
go in those bins, right, I'm

444
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:38.840
going to open one bin. Okay, this doesn't have marine my daughter's name

445
00:34:38.880 --> 00:34:43.000
is Marina, doesn't have the year
she painted this, It doesn't have a

446
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:45.519
signature. I can get rid of
that. It's the stuff you know you

447
00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:51.400
don't want. So if their goal. If your viewer's goal is to declutter,

448
00:34:51.880 --> 00:34:54.159
first of all, how do you
eat an elephant one bite at a

449
00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:59.719
time? Right, they're looking at
their whole house, Right, you're looking

450
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:04.159
at a whole project one bite at
a time. It takes a long time.

451
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:06.800
It's like they used to say,
you're pregnant. It takes you nine

452
00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:09.760
months to get that to gain that
weight. Give yourself time. Right,

453
00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:13.039
you've been in your house fifty years. You're not going to get it done

454
00:35:13.079 --> 00:35:15.599
over the weekend. And that's stressful. Right, So one bite at a

455
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:20.000
time, So let it go,
go through each area in your house,

456
00:35:20.239 --> 00:35:22.960
because that's the easy step. That
gives you confidence, that helps you declutter

457
00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:27.679
that the cluttered brain, right,
declutter your brain and that mental I can't

458
00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:29.719
do it, I can't do it, I can't do it. It gives

459
00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.400
you confidence, Oh I can do
this. Wow, I'll help. I'll

460
00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:36.320
let people like I want everything in
my kitchen and I end up with,

461
00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:38.280
you know, a minivan full of
stuff they don't want from their kitchen,

462
00:35:38.800 --> 00:35:42.920
because you don't know until you start
asking the questions. Okay, so the

463
00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:49.400
I L L is intentional. What
are the things you know you don't want?

464
00:35:49.800 --> 00:35:52.719
Let it go. And then there's
stuff, Oh gosh, this is

465
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:57.639
grandma's. This is what my mom
wanted me to keep. What am I

466
00:35:57.679 --> 00:36:00.079
going to do? And that's when
you sit and you ask the questions and

467
00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:04.880
you get honest with yourself. This
is also, oh that dress, Oh

468
00:36:04.920 --> 00:36:07.360
my gosh, I really want to
fit back into that dress. We all

469
00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:10.960
have those. Or I spent so
much money on that outfit and I never

470
00:36:12.039 --> 00:36:15.400
wore it. I had to do
this with my closet. Just this weekend.

471
00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:17.119
I said, I haven't worn these
sweaters. I'm not going to wear

472
00:36:17.159 --> 00:36:21.320
them. I spent a lot of
just get rid of them. They're just

473
00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:25.840
taking up mental clutter, right.
So those two steps simple, not easy,

474
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:30.280
but those are the steps you take
to make any decision in your life.

475
00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:34.519
And we work with a lot of
therapists, they refer us a lot.

476
00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:37.800
I say this all the time.
You make those steps. You take

477
00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:40.719
those steps to make any decision in
your life. We were at a restaurant

478
00:36:40.760 --> 00:36:45.719
the other day. My daughter is
going to Milan for going study abroad next

479
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:47.280
week. She's leaving. Well,
I'm gonna have a lot of pasta.

480
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:52.400
I don't want pasta for dinner.
I just got back from Texas had a

481
00:36:52.440 --> 00:36:54.920
lot of seafood, so I think
I'm gonna have steak. So she used

482
00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:59.679
the Little System to make even a
decision on her menu. She started with

483
00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:05.880
what she knew she didn't want.
The T is transform, so l L

484
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:08.679
so you've transformed your space, You've
transformed your confidence. Oh I can do

485
00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:12.800
this. Wow, I've made a
little I've made a little change. And

486
00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:15.599
then the L the last L is
love it and live it. So the

487
00:37:15.719 --> 00:37:22.559
letter live it. Oh that loving
the space you're in and living in a

488
00:37:22.760 --> 00:37:25.440
clearer space. And they can go
to my website and download the Little System

489
00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:29.199
for free so they can print it
and put it on their you know,

490
00:37:29.559 --> 00:37:31.920
on their refrigerator or something. It
just just a reminder, you know,

491
00:37:32.039 --> 00:37:37.559
to take those steps. So I
hope that helps. So this thank you

492
00:37:37.599 --> 00:37:43.519
for sharing that and listeners, this
is for you if you want to get

493
00:37:43.559 --> 00:37:45.880
immediately started. But let's say you
know there are people who want to do

494
00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:52.280
a deep dive. How can they
go about that? I know you've mentioned

495
00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:55.400
that you have a book. Where
can they find details and if they want

496
00:37:55.400 --> 00:38:00.480
to work with you? Sure?
Yeah, we do virtual well we are

497
00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:04.679
in north of Virginia, but we
do virtual sometimes it's difficult, but we

498
00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:07.000
do FaceTime. Like over COVID we
realized, oh, we can actually work

499
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:12.119
with people virtually right just like this, you get on a zoom call or

500
00:38:12.159 --> 00:38:15.320
you get on Facebook, I mean
FaceTime, and you can do it.

501
00:38:15.639 --> 00:38:20.480
If the person's physically able to do
the work and be moving things, that's,

502
00:38:20.599 --> 00:38:22.400
you know, that's the problem.
If not, I have an association.

503
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:28.039
I'm a certified Senior and Specialty move
Manager through NASSAM, and I can

504
00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:30.480
hook them up with someone in their
area. So I love that. I

505
00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:37.159
love having that, you know,
that almost like matchmaking surface. Yeah.

506
00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:39.559
And my book is called Seventeen Spatulas
and the Man Who frieda an Egg,

507
00:38:40.320 --> 00:38:47.679
and it is it's a compilation of
twenty years of working with people and the

508
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:52.360
stories they've told me about why we
hold on to stuff physically and mentally.

509
00:38:52.920 --> 00:38:57.960
And it's not about it's not a
how to book, even though the system,

510
00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:01.280
the little system is described in it, but it is how to ask

511
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:05.840
the questions why, which is kind
of our theme today is how do you

512
00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:09.960
start asking those questions to move through
that clutter? And if that's my goal

513
00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:14.000
this year to get through it,
give yourself a year, you know,

514
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:16.760
if you're not planning on moving,
go through each each you know, room

515
00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:22.880
in your house a month and go
through it slowly. Make those decisions because

516
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:28.559
sometimes, like you said, they're
very emotional and they're difficult. So if

517
00:39:28.599 --> 00:39:31.280
it's difficult, put it on the
side. You know, sometimes I say,

518
00:39:31.559 --> 00:39:34.960
get your drink of choice, you
know, glass of wine, a

519
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:37.360
cup of tea, and put the
TV on and go through that box of

520
00:39:37.400 --> 00:39:42.719
pictures or those papers from you know, a friend that passed away or whatever

521
00:39:42.760 --> 00:39:46.960
it is, because those are difficult. Those are difficult, and it's good.

522
00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:51.119
You know, a lot of people
have a lot of fear going through

523
00:39:51.280 --> 00:39:57.960
old memories. They believe that they're
going to feel the same thing. They're

524
00:39:57.960 --> 00:40:00.360
going to feel that hurt, even
a divorce or a death of a family

525
00:40:00.400 --> 00:40:05.880
member or a child or friend.
And it's proven, you know, through

526
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:08.039
therapist. You're yes, you're going
to be emotional, You're going to feel

527
00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:12.320
those feelings, and it's good to
do it because it's very cathartic. But

528
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:15.599
you're not you're a different person than
you were when they passed away or when

529
00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:21.079
the works happened. And there's a
lot of grief that like another reason grief,

530
00:40:21.639 --> 00:40:24.079
you know, people don't go through
things because of grief and the fear.

531
00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:34.400
We often we're afraid of even opening
a box because our brain is already

532
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:38.079
telling us what the story is about
that box. So the fear we're creating

533
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:45.599
is greater than opening that box.
And that's the mental box also and the

534
00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:50.719
physical box. And that's where your
book comes in, because, as you

535
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:53.960
mentioned, it's about asking those questions, creating that safe space for yourself.

536
00:40:55.079 --> 00:41:01.199
Yeah. There you allow that emotions
to get processed and more through it and

537
00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:05.320
find you're not alone. And find
you're not alone. That's what a lot

538
00:41:05.320 --> 00:41:07.280
of people said about reading the book, and that was one of my goals,

539
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:13.880
Divia, was you're not alone.
People read the book and they say,

540
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:16.840
it sounds like you were in my
closet or you were in my house,

541
00:41:16.880 --> 00:41:21.559
because that's exactly what they're going through, right. You know, I've

542
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:27.800
worked with hundreds of clients over two
decades, and yes, every story is

543
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:32.239
unique, but they're all similar.
They're all this, you know, similar

544
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:37.480
in some way, you know,
And so hopefully I have summarized enough for

545
00:41:37.559 --> 00:41:42.280
people to say, oh, okay, you know, my husband, this

546
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:46.719
is amazing story that I try to
tell any interview I'm my daughter's boyfriend is

547
00:41:46.760 --> 00:41:52.639
twenty and he read my book and
he said, Marina, tell your mom

548
00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:59.920
that he has a difficult relationship with
his dad and that I'm rethinking my real

549
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.639
relationship with my dad because of her
book. Yeah, as of something he's

550
00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:07.079
holding on, right, it doesn't
serve him. And that's one of the

551
00:42:07.119 --> 00:42:12.800
reasons we keep stuff because it serves
us in some way until it doesn't.

552
00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:17.679
But you have to ask the questions
why. M Yeah, it's asking the

553
00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:22.000
questions rather than answering it, letting
the answer come to you. And sometimes

554
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:28.599
it takes time, giving yourself the
grace to have that time. So no,

555
00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:31.960
this was very powerful. Thank you
Lisa for sharing it with some Thank

556
00:42:32.159 --> 00:42:43.599
you and do you have any quick
last words before we wrap up the show.

557
00:42:45.280 --> 00:42:51.119
Well, you started the day the
talk with Okay, it's you know,

558
00:42:51.199 --> 00:42:54.320
the middle of January. Maybe you
haven't made your intentions or your you

559
00:42:54.360 --> 00:42:59.679
know, New Year's resolutions. Today
is another day. Today is the first

560
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:04.760
day the rest of your life.
It's not a fall, it's a trip.

561
00:43:06.119 --> 00:43:08.000
So just get back up because you're
the only one that can do it

562
00:43:08.039 --> 00:43:12.159
for yourself. When it comes down
to it. I can tell my daughter

563
00:43:12.280 --> 00:43:15.039
people can tell me I can have
mentors. It comes down to me wanting

564
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:19.239
to change, and it's hard.
Change is hard, you know that.

565
00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:22.320
But if you really want it,
you have to do it. I said

566
00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:24.239
that to myself this morning. I
said, Lisa, you know you can't

567
00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:30.119
have bread at every meal because I
went to bed with a stomach ache.

568
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:32.639
I love bread, but I can't, you know, if I really want

569
00:43:32.679 --> 00:43:37.960
to get healthy, healthier, you
know it just okay. So I had

570
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:40.159
it yesterday, I didn't do it
yesterday. Whatever it is, do it

571
00:43:40.199 --> 00:43:49.719
today absolutely, and remember everything is
hard before it becomes easy. So listeners,

572
00:43:49.719 --> 00:43:52.119
you know, thank you so much
for joining us, and you are

573
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:57.920
amazing because you are the life and
solo of our show. Reach out to

574
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:00.320
us, let us know. How
can we be of suppose to you?

575
00:44:00.599 --> 00:44:05.239
How can we serve you to live
the life you deserve and you want?

576
00:44:06.199 --> 00:44:10.440
So Thank you one for making the
show technically possible. Be well and take

577
00:44:10.440 --> 00:44:15.320
it intill next time. Thank you
for being part of Beyond Confidence. With

578
00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:17.719
your host v Park, we hope
you have learned more about how to start

579
00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:22.760
living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories

580
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:28.079
of real people who've experienced growth by
overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.

581
00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:31.599
During Beyond Confidence, Vpark shares what
happened to her when she stepped out of

582
00:44:31.639 --> 00:44:36.679
her comfort zone to work directly with
people across the globe. She not only

583
00:44:36.719 --> 00:44:40.960
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial

584
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.039
partnerships as they strive to live the
life they want. If you are ready

585
00:44:45.079 --> 00:44:50.519
to live the life you want and
leverage your strengths, learn more at www

586
00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:55.920
dot dvpark dot com and you can
connect with dvat contact at dvpark dot com.

587
00:44:57.119 --> 00:45:04.199
We look forward to you joining us
next week