May 20, 2025

Ditch the Doubt: 6 Simple Shifts to Step Into Your Power

Show Notes
Transcript

Still feeling stuck after chasing confidence through books or events? Tune in as Karen Fabian, founder of Bare Bones Yoga, shares her practical 6-step confidence framework. In this powerful chat with Divya Parekh, you’ll learn how to build real confidence through simple daily practices.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host DV Park. Do

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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you

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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals?

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Well?

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Coming up on zvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real

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stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have steps into discomfort,

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shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.

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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving

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your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward

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does not have to happen at the expense of your

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personal or family life or vice versa. Learn more at WWWA.

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You don't divpork dot com and you can connect with

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TV ants contact eds gvpark dot com. This is beyond

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confidence and now here's your host, g w Park.

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Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and excited to be here

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with you. So it's it's just beautiful. And what I

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want to share with you is that we have a

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fabulous guest today and I'll be talking about the kind

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of circle somewhere in the middle of our conversation and

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so be on the lookout for that. And also I

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want to thank each and every one of you who

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have got our books Expert to Influencer, Entrepreneurs Gotten and

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many others that I've written in co authored, so really

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really appreciate you. For those of you who are still

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waiting in the wings, please get the box and I

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can guarantee you like you will get nuggets. Not only that,

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but the profits help us out to help entrepreneurs all

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across the globe through key a dot org. Malcolm Karen, thank.

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You so much. It's great to be.

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Here, fantastic and to have you so tell us do

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you recall a moment or a person from your youth

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or childhood who have to pause.

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And mark on you? Oh, gosh, I mean, the people

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that come to my mind are my mom and dad.

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You probably get that answer a lot, but I can

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definitely say, I mean, there are other teachers and influences

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I've had in my life, but my mother and father

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who are still alive. They're in their eighties and they're

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doing great, so I still have, you know, many conversations

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with them throughout the week. It's kind of funny because

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a lot of my business development and my entrepreneurship comes

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from my father, and my mother will say, oh, I

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see so much of your father in you. And then

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when I talk to my dad, I have a very

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big creative side and that comes from my mother, and

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he'll say, oh, I see so much of your mother

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in you. So they see each other in me, and

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I definitely when I reflect on my own background and

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skills and superpowers, I can definitely connect it to them.

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So as even growing up, what dreams did you have, like,

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you know, what did you want to become?

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Well, I can definitely say it was different than what

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I'm doing, and what I'm doing is perfect. So I

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just share that because I know a lot of times

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people may grow up with a certain vision that might

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not actually even be something that they want. It might

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even be something that they believe they have to pursue

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because of what they've been told or how they've been raised.

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And for myself, I envisioned when I was younger, I

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would go to college, I would get a good job,

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I would get married, I would have a family, and

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I would work in a job for somebody else, probably

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for my whole life. And that is definitely not what

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I'm doing. I did that for a while. I went

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to college, I went to grad school. I did work

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in both clinical health care and then corporate healthcare for

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about twenty years. And then I went to a yoga

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class in nineteen ninety nine and it changed my whole

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perspective on what I was supposed to be doing in

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the world. And while there's a lot that happened after

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that yoga clas in nineteen ninety nine, what I do

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now in the life I have now. I'm an entrepreneur.

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I run my own business. I support people all over

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the world with my teaching methodologies, and I would I'm

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grateful for the path I've taken, and at the same time,

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I would never go back to that other life. It's

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in my memory but it definitely is not doesn't look

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anything like the life I lead now.

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Got it, So kind of let's revisit your time during

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clinical and the corporate healthcare. So while you were working,

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what would you say were some of the highlights of

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your career that you enjoyed.

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Well, I've always been deeply interested in medicine and the

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body and movement and anatomy and all of the sciences.

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I was always very interested in that, and I originally

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thought I wanted to be a physical therapist. So when

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I went to undergraduate at Boston University I live in Boston,

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that's what I studied. And along the way, I decided,

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I don't think I want to just work with people's limbs.

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I think I want to work with the whole person.

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And so my initial clinical experiences were working in hospitals

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and rehabilitation centers as a social worker, a rehab counselor

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a discharge planner. And I loved that. I really thought

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that was my path, helping people who were injured or ill,

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helping them reach a higher potential. And I ended up

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getting recruited to work on the business side of healthcare,

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and I was really good at it. I was very organized.

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I could present well, I could sell stuff. I understood software.

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So I worked my way up the corporate ladder in

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a consulting firm, and I enjoyed that. I really enjoyed

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managing a team. I enjoyed helping, you know, businesses reach

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their goals. I enjoyed the presentation side of things. The

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one thing that was missing, though, is I didn't always

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feel aligned with the goal of the company. And that

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was something that I really aspired to, but I didn't

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quite know how to. Did I just need to switch

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a job? What? What was What was my path to

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find that alignment?

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So this is a tough question, you know, So what

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if question? What if you knew what you're doing right now,

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do you think you would have left the corporate life

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earlier than when you left?

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I I don't, I don't know. I mean I probably

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would have. I don't don't know if that's the answer

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you expected, but I probably would have.

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It.

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Really, the spark that really lit the flame was going

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to a yoga class. I had never gone to a

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yoga class before, and because of my medical background, my

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clinical experiences, my experiences on the business side of healthcare,

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when I went to take a yoga class. It was

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this perfect blend of all these different things I had done,

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but for that class I probably didn't even I mean,

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this was nineteen ninety nine when yoga was not as

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popular as it is in the United States, and I

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really had just experiences in the gym, and so when

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I saw this person teaching this yoga class and I

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saw it was this whole blend of movement and psychology

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and empowerment and confidence building, I thought, this is what

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I want to do. And honestly, if I had been

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exposed to that earlier, probably would have left earlier.

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So that is a very insightful statement. There's so many

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clients who kind of come to me as I do

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leadership and executive coaching. They will say that they want compensation.

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A lot of millennials and gen zs. Gen Zs are

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quite a bit of self starters. They want compensation and

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they want meaning as well, because they're very much a

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line like, you know, I've got everything, I've risen to

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the letter in the management, but I'm finding that something

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is lacking. What would you tell those millennials and gen

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zs how to blend the two.

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Yeah, well, I can approach it from the practical day

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to day and I can approach it from sort of

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the spiritual or part centered approach. Let's start with the

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spiritual or heart centered approach. I think it's important for

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people to identify what their vision is for their life,

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and that's usually connected to their values. And it's difficult

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sometimes to feel connected to a company's mission if you

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don't actually know yourself what's important to you, what are

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things that you value, what are and in those values

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that helps define who you are. The other piece of that, though,

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is spending time to think about what kind of impact

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do I want to have in the world. And a

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lot of times we get caught up in the day

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to day and we lose sight of, you know, kind

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of the Stephen Covey begin at the end in mind

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kind of mindset. So that's one part. The other thing

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I think about, especially for the kind of person you're describing,

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is is there when you do that work and you

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identify maybe some difference between what you're doing now and

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what you want to do, is there a way that

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you can start to feed that part of you while

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you're working your full time job, to start to experiment

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with feeding that part of you that wants something different,

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rather than thinking I need to completely quit the lifestyle

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I'm in and completely shift to this other lifestyle. There's

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a lot to be said from a practical standpoint, but

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even from a spiritual, heart centered standpoint to experimenting on

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the side with something else and keep the full time

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gig going. Yeah, oh, I can't hear what you're saying.

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That's definitely very powerful because what happens is I've seen

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a lot of my clients kind of just got caught

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in the moment of passion and purpose, you know, that's

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what they think, and when they go and when the

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reality hits, it's it's a hot and a bitter pill

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to swallow. So starting something on the side and experimenting

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with it makes so much easier to explore and not

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have that pressure. Because if you just jump all in,

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nothing wrong with jumping in. I mean there's no right

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or wrong. People can go whatever works for you as

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long as as you mentioned right, you're aligned with your

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values and you're willing to do what it takes. If

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you make an informed decision, it takes the pressure off

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because now you're so aligned with your why that the

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what and how don't matter. So yeah, I.

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Was just going to add one little piece too. It

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sparked from what you said. A lot of times people

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have this vision of what they think they want to do,

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and until the experiment with it on the side, they

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don't realize, you know what, this isn't quite it. So

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that's just another advantage to trying something out rather than

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ripping the band aid off and going to test out.

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Is this really a good fit for me?

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Absolutely, because recently I have to share this story about

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this young gentleman. He did very well financially, you know,

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at a very secure place, and now he doesn't have

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the freedom to do what he wants to do because

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he's in the leadership position and you've got to like

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account for the finances and all that. And then he

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decided to go to a startup. But now he's used

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to making decisions right, and in the startup he was

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being driven by somebody else in his life. Yeah, gosh,

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what did I end up doing? And that's exactly like

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going back to the point that you shared, is like,

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you know you're not going to know, Yeah, grass is

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always green on the other side, So experimentation is so powerful. Now,

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what would you tell people and they have these doubts

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whether they're in the right job, whether they're in the

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right path.

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And then, well, what I've found in working with people

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I work with my primary area of expertise is training

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yoga teachers in a very specific way. The focus is

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helping them build their confidence, and that's a blend of

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skill based methodology and mindset, and this sort of thing

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comes up a lot in the context of that. What

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I've found in working with people, and this even harkens

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back to when I worked as a social worker and

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reob counselor, is the beliefs that we have about ourselves

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often drive the doubts we have. And oftentimes the beliefs

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we have about ourselves aren't necessarily something that we created.

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It's something that was borne out of maybe a negative

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experience we had or something we were told. And so

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in a way, there's sort of a reclaiming of your

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power that becomes possible when you conquer a self doubt.

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It takes though self inquiry and introspection, and really I

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find working with someone because when anyone has self doubt,

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it's sort of this cycle of thinking and acting and

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being that is hard to break unless you have someone else,

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not even giving advice or sharing perspective. It's not that

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it's about someone else asking you questions about how you're

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viewing yourself in the world, and without that outside voice,

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it can be very difficult to break the cycle. It's

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almost like on a neuroscience level, there's like this sort

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of loop, this neural pathway that it's just ingrained in

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your brain. And that's why for myself and my own

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personal growth, I've had the biggest advances or breakthroughs when

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I've worked with a coach because it's someone else to

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ask me questions about how I'm operating in the world.

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Well, that is so true, and you're absolutely right on that,

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because that's the first thing. Like when I took my

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first coaching class, Angela, like you know, my teacher first class,

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and she said that, like, listen, just because you're going

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to become a coach doesn't mean that you don't need growth,

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that you don't need guidance, Like you have blind spots today,

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you'll have blind spots thirty years down the road. And

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so I took that too, Hart And even today I've

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got my own coaches because who'll set me straight? So

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it's not just important to have somebody who's going to question,

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but it's also about somebody challenging you because, as you mentioned,

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with the brain, right like, we get so caught up

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in the comfort zone that we don't want to knock

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on the door of discomfort and brain loves to avoid

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the pain. So we talk about six part framework for

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building continents. Do share?

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Yes. So over the years, when I've been working with

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against primarily yoga teachers in my program, I've found that

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there are different patterns of thinking, different common belief structures

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that people have. And most of the people I work

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with are women, and most of them are i would say,

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between the ages of maybe thirty five and sixty five,

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So just to kind of give you, give you an

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age and kind of an avatar of sorts. And the

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interesting thing is a lot of the challenges that they

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face really aren't necessarily just about teaching yoga. It's something

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about teaching yoga that brings out these limiting beliefs. So

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earlier this year I set down and I thought, there's

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a common thread here that I'm finding and working with

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people that really transcends the yoga teaching and really is more,

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as you're saying, a confidence framework of sorts. So I

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started to create and here's what I came up with.

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If the idea is to move through your life feeling

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more confident, what I've found is there's a number of

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different practices that you can integrate into your life to

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begin to build and boost your confidence. And I call

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it a practice because it really is a practice, because

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every day we might have something that triggers us into

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feeling less than or feeling like we can't do something.

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So it really is just like a yoga practice. It's

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a confidence practice that we're practicing every day to be

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the kind of person who fill in the blank. So

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the first part is having some sort of daily yoga

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or movement practice. And I'm not going to say it

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has to be yoga. It could be anything. It could

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be going for a walk every day. There's so much,

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and I can go into it, but we probably don't

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have time. There's so much from the perspective of what

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happens in the body on an endercin level, a cardiovascular level,

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so many different systems of the body benefit from daily

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exercise and that affects our mood. So if I want

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to be the kind of person who is more confident,

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I must have some sort of daily movement practice not

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only to affect my inner biology, but also to affect

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my perception of myself, which is part of how I feel.

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So yoga or daily movement is one. Number two is

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experimenting and giving yourself daily challenges. This has to do

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with what you're saying before these doubts, bumping up against

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these doubts. So let's say you're the kind of person

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who never thinks she could go to a movie by

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yourself or go out to dinner by yourself. But there's

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a brand new movie and you can't find anybody to

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go with you, and you say to yourself, you know what,

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I'm going to go to this movie by myself, and

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I don't care that it's something I don't typically do.

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That's an experiment and an experimenting. We bump up against

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these beliefs and we challenge them in real life with

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real experimentation and see what the outcome is. It's not

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to say we have to have it be a great experience,

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but just in the act of doing it, we start

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to chip away and dismantle those beliefs. Number three is

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self inquiry. Being the kind of person who's curious all

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of what we're talking about. When you were mentioning before,

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you know, kind of these neural pathways and the brain

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likes comfort. That's the sort of thing, especially if you

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want to feel more confident, that can hold you back.

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So having a sense of self inquiry where you're naturally

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curious about what would be possible if I fill in

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the blank. Number four is meditation. And I know people

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are going to hear this and say, I can't meditate.

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My brain's too busy. So if the word triggers.

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You, that's very true. As we kind of continue the conversation,

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I'm going to kind of take a stop there and

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ask you. You said that meditation I can do it,

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and I hear that from so many different people. What's

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your you said, like experimentation and self inquiry? What would

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you like, you know, guide them, what would you tell

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them like, you know, even if it is like faminutes

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or some tricks of the trade that would help our audience.

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Yeah, So I would say limiting the time is probably

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the best thing you can do if the concept concerns you,

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alarms you, doesn't brings up thoughts that you can't do it.

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So meditation Number one doesn't need to be something that's

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twenty minutes. It could be ten deep breaths. If the

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word is something you associate with something you can't do.

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What if you went for a walk without your phone,

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Like what if you drove home from work without any

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podcast on in the car, any music or anything. Like

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what if you lay in bed and the first moment

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you open your eyes, you just noticed your body. There's

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other context for meditation that don't have to match that

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person sitting cross legged for twenty minutes. It's a place, yeah,

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place to start. It's a pose to start.

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And so what I'm hearing is at finding that silence

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because I'll share it to you. Usually I do take

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my phone with me. I make a point and not

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look at anything. But sometimes if it call comes through,

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or if it's the time, you know, I kind of

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break it out. I break off my walk into like

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segments that, Okay, there are friends, like sometimes you just

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don't have time to catch up with so you know

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that time you kind of catch up with them, and

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then twenty twenty five minutes is to just commune with nature.

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So one day it just so happened, like driving my

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car and it says that oh, we cannot connect your phone.

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I'm like, huh, what happened? Why it's not connecting? And

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then it struck me, oh, I don't have my phone

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with me, So it was my first instinct. It's amazing,

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like even though I'm an evid meditator for multiple, multiple years,

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and still my first instinct how our brains are trained,

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was like, oh, let me go back and get my phone.

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And then I said, you know what, this is such

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a good experiment. I'm just going to go yeah, And

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it was very interesting to see how many times, like

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you know, as I'm walking, like it has just become

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a habit, you just kind of check whether the phone

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is in your pocket or like but you know, the

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I don't know what is it called that the belt

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or the little pocket thing that you kind of put

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it on your waist when you're going out with you

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to put in your phone and your keys and all

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of that. So that was very interesting and now I

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just kind of do it. I do have the phone,

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I leave it in the car and sometimes I'll take it,

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but I make a point not to just touch it.

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And it's amazing how we can train our brain and

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become comfortable with it.

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Yeah, I think you know. Again, as a yoga teacher,

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I can say silence is probably one of the most

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powerful spaces for people to be in. From a nervous

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system standpoint, We're constantly stimulated with so much noise and

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so much stuff that to simply be in silence is

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for so many people something they very rarely experience. And

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whether it's by half instance, like what you describe, or

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whether it's something that maybe they don't have control over,

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like they're sitting in a waiting room in the doctor's office,

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or they come to a yoga class and the teacher's

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Ditch the Doubt: 6 Simple Shifts to Step Into Your Power

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