WEBVTT
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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not
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those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.
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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN
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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should
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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
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W four WN Radio.
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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W. Park.
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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on ZVO Parks Beyond Confidence,
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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
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who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
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are living the life they want. You will learn how
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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
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at the expense of your personal or family life or
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vice versa. Learn more at WWWA. You don't divpork dot
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com and you can connect with div ants contact dantsdvpark
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dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your
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host TV Park.
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Good morning listeners. It's Tuesday morning, and I'm so thrilled
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to be here with you all. So I have a
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beautiful kind of story for you. So in our neighborhood,
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we have two beautiful ladies expecting and so they are
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you know, in the heat. It is like really really
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hot and all of that. So as I was saying, like,
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you know, one of the ladies was walking down the
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street and she seemed, you know, it's very uncomfortable and
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just kind of waiting, and then one neighbor just brought out,
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like you know, a glass of water, so a little bit,
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and it was just fascinating to see, like, you know,
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one little act can go such a long ways, and
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the smile broke. And as the smile broke, the beauty
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of that was that human connection goes such a long ways.
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So basically that's our story for the kind of story
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for this week. And another thing I want to share
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with you is that if you have got our books,
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think you think you thank you for supporting us. And
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also I'm excited to share. My next book is in works.
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There are there have been some tears and some tears
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sometimes of joy. But you know, every book that you
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write is like just having a different baby. So just
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excited to share. I'm writing a book on artificial intelligence
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and hoping to finish it off in the next few months.
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I'll keep you posted. So for those of you who
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have got a boox, please know that you know we're
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very thankful. And for those of you have don't got
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a boox, do get the books and help us help
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this spread the kindness. Let's bring in our guest, Hi.
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Deborah, Hello, good morning, Hello everybody. Thank you for having
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me with join you, Daviyah. It's an honor.
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Oh, it's wonderful to have you on the show. So Deborah,
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share with us. Do you recall a moment or a
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person who infused you with sunshine?
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Oh, there's so many people along the way that have
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done that. But I think making a tribute to my mom,
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who's ninety one years old, one years young, would be
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the sunshine in my life.
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She's such a support and so.
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Proud of me always that it just fills my heart
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with joy.
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And how did she created that? Impact on you.
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Interestingly enough, back in the day when it wasn't as
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common as it is today for women to start a business.
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At twenty six years old, she started a business. She's
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a fashion designer. Was that was her career, and so
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was my dad. I grew up in a creative home
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and she was determined to make this work. My dad
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was working for a big company, he was a head designer,
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and she said, if I make this work, when your
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contract's up, you'll come join me and we'll do it together.
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And they did. And that's why when you ask about sunshine,
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to me, that's what sunshine is about is finding your purpose,
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your passion, lifting other people up, believing in yourself, that confidence.
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That's what I love you. The name of your show,
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Davia Live Beyond Confidence. It's all about that, developing resilience.
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Life is messy, it will never be perfect. But we
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owe it to ourselves to say yes to our lives.
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And my parents said yes to.
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Their lives, and it's in me to say yes now too.
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And doing that for your children, for your friends, lifting
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them up, for all of us is so important. Making
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time to give yourself a hug and honor yourself, and
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what you want out of life. We can make it
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happen if we put effort into this.
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Hmmm, love that say yes to life?
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Yes.
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Now, society has different definitions of success. So and then
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you know, as a child grows up, parents are teaching
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the child something. Then teachers and friends and what they
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observe and the heroes and movies, and you know, there's
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such a different layer upon layer that is being developed
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for this child and they develop their lens through that.
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So how can they find what is there?
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Yes?
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What are they going to say yes to?
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And you know, it's really.
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Different for each of us because everybody defines success in
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different ways.
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I define success.
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As waking up in the morning and finding my happy's. Yes,
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that's stress, the cortisol spike that happens naturally. We have
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to work against that, and that to me is success.
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Just enjoying my life and going after the dreams and
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the goals that I cherish the most. That's in my heart,
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and I always encourage people for their children is most
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importantly confidence, giving them the confidence to believe in themselves,
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to make mistakes. It's okay, I don't like the word failure.
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I call it I've renamed it education and growth and
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letting your children know that falling down is the way
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you're going to achieve what it is in your heart,
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and building them up and helping them along, not enabling them,
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not doing it for them, but letting them find themselves,
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who they are, find their sunshine.
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I think that's so important to via.
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You're absolutely right. So, Deborah, you have two great role
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models where they you know your parents said yes to life.
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So my question too is what did you say yes
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to life? And tell us a little bit more about
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your life journey.
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Okay, sure we'll do, because I think it's a lesson
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in not letting yourself shrink, disappear, get caught up in
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the nonsense. There's so many things we can get caught
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up in, the worry, the fear, the negativity. And the
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reason I say this is that, for a while striving
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to be a number one sales rep, I've always wanted
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to be at my best, not compete with other people,
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but do my best. And with that I sometimes lost myself.
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I lost the joy in life because I was always
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chasing my tail, so to speak, that hamster wheel. So
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there I was standing on a New York City subway platform.
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I was very emotional because I was on this hamster wheel,
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striving to be number one, negativity, the excuses, all the things,
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and not enjoying my life.
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And it hit me. And it's such a simple thing
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you say.
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People would say, well, there's nothing to that, but honestly,
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I said to myself, nothing will change unless I change.
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And I urge everybody to find your balance, not overwhelm
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yourself and have to do everything all at once, but
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slowly small steps lead to big changes over time. So
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I took the time to find more balance in my
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life so that I could say yes not just to
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accomplishments and to career success, but say yes to living
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my life, enjoying, traveling, meeting new people, spending time, having
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an enjoyable dinner with a friend. And there's so much
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more to life and to ourselves and being just a
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well rounded person, exercising, sleeping well, eating healthily, all the
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things that make us feel better, because when we feel better,
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the saying goes, you do better. So I have come back,
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I have found my luster again, my sparkle, and I
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help other people do that, but I also encourage people
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to take a step back, to pause, to give yourself
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the grace to welcome your true self and enjoy life
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more because we are the ones that can do that
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for ourselves. And it's easy to say that that's trite
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and to put it off and to get caught up
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in the negativity. But as I say, negativity and positivity
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are contagious. Each are contagious. It's our choice to pick
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which when we want to embrace, and I choose positive
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energy and spreading it around and lifting other people up
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and enjoying the moment, saying yes to being present in
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the moment, talking with you. It's just a joy. You
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feel it in your heart. It just makes you feel
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so much better.
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M Yeah, definitely. So did you go back to the
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sales job? What did you do? Because a lot of
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fun listeners are listening and saying like, yeah, you know, Deborah,
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what you're saying makes sense, but you want to know, like,
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you know, how did you apply to your real life?
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And you know, for everybody, I understand, you can't necessarily
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just leave a job, and I didn't. I worked on
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changing making adjustments, but eventually I did because I had
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a bigger purpose that I felt I needed to. When
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I was able to do that, I worked on it
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and every But what we do is we have choices.
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You hear about side hustles and making time. There's always
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time if you can't leave a job because it provides
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for yourself, for your family. Honestly, don't suort change yourself.
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Find the time. I get up super early, find the
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time in the day to start making a plan to
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work on it, because honestly, who.
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Is it for, It's for you.
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So what I did is I started writing what was
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my guidebook, all the things I needed to do to
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get back to, to bring my sparkle back, to say
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yes to a bigger life, a bigger version of myself.
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And I started to write down commitments, quotes, questions I
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needed to ask myself. I did a lot of research
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the science behind why we act a certain way and tips,
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action items, mantras, all that stuff. It turned, as you know,
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into my books six Steps to Fewer that suck. But
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I started that initially for myself, and everybody can find
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the time if they choose to. Everything is a choice,
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and we have the choice to spend our time the
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way we choose our downtime, so to speak. And yes,
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we have commitments, we have families, we have jobs, we
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have everything, but if it's important enough to you, you
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will make the time because rather than fretting about it, procrastinating, worrying, thinking,
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just sit down and do it. Because, like anything, the
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more we do something, it's a positive habit that I'm suggesting.
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And the more you do it, because our brains love patterns,
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the more it becomes a pattern, the more you're prone.
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To do it.
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And that's the way to get started. Small steps lead
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to big changes over time. So the wonderful part about
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doing that, Divvy and I think you'll agree, is when
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we start to see those accomplishments. Put a note up
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on your fridge, on a mirror, I give yourself a
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goal star. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate these moments that gives you
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the courage to keep going. See what you can accomplish
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even in the downtime, the times early in the morning
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or late at night, or whenever you can find time
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to work on your goals, on your dreams. And then
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maybe one day you'll be able to leave that job,
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or maybe not, but.
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Still you'll have this that's part of you to look
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forward to.
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And that's what I did, and now I'm proud to
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say I do this full time and it's joy. But
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again it's a choice, and it takes discipline and it
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takes effort, and that's what we need to do in
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order to accomplish our goals and to feel good about ourselves.
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Yeah, definitely. So tell us you talk about decluttering the
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toxic thoughts? How can people you go about that?
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Say that one more time, Diviya.
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Yeah, so a lot of people experience toxic thoughts. Oh
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you can undo this, You cannot doing this choice in
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a critic whatever you want to call it. How can
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people get rid of those?
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And again I call that flipping the script because we
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all have these thoughts. It's our brain, just our mind
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just coming up with these thoughts and they're not always
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based in reality. So the best thing to do is
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pause and stop yourself from going down the rabbit hole.
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But if you get a negative thought, it's like saying
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I'm so stupid or I messed up again. Flip it
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to say something like I love learning something new. I'll
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make that work. Find a way to turn off the
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negative thought and flip it into something more positive.