June 10, 2025

Inside the Billion-Dollar Dream

Inside the Billion-Dollar Dream
iHeartRadio podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconYoutube Music podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconAudible podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconAudacy podcast player iconSpreaker podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconJioSaavn podcast player iconTuneIn podcast player iconCastbox podcast player iconCastamatic podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconFountain podcast player iconGoodpods podcast player iconOvercast podcast player iconPlayerFM podcast player iconPocketCasts podcast player iconPodimo podcast player iconPodurama podcast player iconPodverse podcast player iconPodyssey podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player iconYouTube podcast player icon
iHeartRadio podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconYoutube Music podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconAudible podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconAudacy podcast player iconSpreaker podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconJioSaavn podcast player iconTuneIn podcast player iconCastbox podcast player iconCastamatic podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconFountain podcast player iconGoodpods podcast player iconOvercast podcast player iconPlayerFM podcast player iconPocketCasts podcast player iconPodimo podcast player iconPodurama podcast player iconPodverse podcast player iconPodyssey podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player iconYouTube podcast player icon

What happens when immigrant grit meets Wall Street power? Join Divya Parekh in a gripping talk with Butch Meily, who stood by Reginald F. Lewis—America’s first Black billionaire—through deals, drama, and deep dilemmas. From IPOs to burned bridges, this story of race, ambition, and legacy in 1980s America is one you won’t forget.

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.480 --> 00:00:02.720
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

2
00:00:02.720 --> 00:00:04.639
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

3
00:00:04.679 --> 00:00:07.599
those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.

4
00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:11.279
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,

5
00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:14.400
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,

6
00:00:14.519 --> 00:00:17.719
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio.

7
00:00:17.879 --> 00:00:20.600
Its employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be

8
00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:22.960
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W

9
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:24.120
four WN Radio.

10
00:00:26.120 --> 00:00:29.120
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W. Park.

11
00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:31.600
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do

12
00:00:31.640 --> 00:00:34.640
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

13
00:00:34.759 --> 00:00:38.920
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on voparks Beyond Confidence,

14
00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:42.520
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

15
00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:46.039
who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and

16
00:00:46.119 --> 00:00:48.600
are living the life they want. You will learn how

17
00:00:48.600 --> 00:00:52.479
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

18
00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:55.399
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen

19
00:00:55.439 --> 00:00:58.039
at the expense of your personal or family life or

20
00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:02.000
vice versa. Learn more at wd WW Dots Divpork dot

21
00:01:02.039 --> 00:01:05.959
com and you can connect with dvants contact Dants divpark

22
00:01:06.040 --> 00:01:09.480
dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your

23
00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:10.920
host div Park.

24
00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:16.239
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday morning, and I'm so thrilled

25
00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:18.439
to be here with you, and you'll know that.

26
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:21.439
So one of the things, one of the stories that

27
00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:23.719
I want to share with you is that one of

28
00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:28.280
my readers from Expert to Influencer had reached out to

29
00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:32.680
me and she is writing a blog and she invited

30
00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:35.879
me to be her guest, and she was hesitant if

31
00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:37.280
I would even participate.

32
00:01:37.719 --> 00:01:38.400
I'm like, why not?

33
00:01:39.879 --> 00:01:42.640
Just because I'm an author doesn't mean I'm any different.

34
00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:48.239
I've you know, I brush my teeth just like any

35
00:01:48.280 --> 00:01:52.439
other person. So it's just so beautiful connecting with y'all.

36
00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:56.040
And what I want to share is that do reach

37
00:01:56.040 --> 00:01:58.680
out to us, because quite a few or you reach

38
00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:01.159
out to us, and that's what helps us shape our

39
00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:05.280
programs like who to bring, who not to bring. And similarly,

40
00:02:05.319 --> 00:02:08.520
if you have bought my book, reach out. I love

41
00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:12.280
to connect with my readers and get your thoughts and

42
00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:15.759
feedback because as I continue writing my books, I can

43
00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:19.120
serve you. Because the whole idea is to serve and

44
00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:22.240
impact your lives. So thank you if you've purchased a

45
00:02:22.280 --> 00:02:25.719
books for those If you have not, I invite you

46
00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:28.879
to buy our books because I can tell you that

47
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:31.560
they will change your lives.

48
00:02:32.199 --> 00:02:37.960
And also we help entrepreneurs from kyba dot org. So

49
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:42.919
keep the kindness going and let's bring in our guests. Welcome.

50
00:02:43.039 --> 00:02:48.400
Butch Hi Devia, how are you doing good?

51
00:02:48.439 --> 00:02:50.120
How are you so good to have you?

52
00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:53.240
Yeah, I'm really glad and honored to be here. Thank you.

53
00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:58.280
Oh, absolutely, you have such an impressive journey. So we

54
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:02.199
usually start out the moment in your youth or childhood

55
00:03:02.639 --> 00:03:04.960
that left the postive mark on you. Do you recollony?

56
00:03:06.439 --> 00:03:10.439
Well, I guess my experiences with my with my parents

57
00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:13.680
were really important. I think that's that's the key to

58
00:03:13.719 --> 00:03:17.879
my values and my being who I am. And they

59
00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:22.400
really gave me the push and the drive and the ambition.

60
00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:26.919
They always encouraged me to keep going and to reach

61
00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:30.759
for the stars, as they say, and that drove me

62
00:03:30.840 --> 00:03:34.719
all through my voyage and my journey in the United

63
00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:37.639
States and other countries. Mmmm.

64
00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:44.560
Yeah, It's it's amazing how much parents have that role

65
00:03:44.599 --> 00:03:46.599
that they play, because you know, the child is looking

66
00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:48.439
up to their parents and.

67
00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:56.120
Just so phenomenal. So tell me, like, you know, how

68
00:03:56.159 --> 00:03:58.439
did you decide to come to the US.

69
00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:03.360
Well, I first came over in nineteen seventy seven, time ago,

70
00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:07.759
and I first came as a student, and I literally

71
00:04:07.800 --> 00:04:10.919
fell in love with the country. I really did. I

72
00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:13.560
was coming from Manila, and that's part of the story

73
00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:16.920
in the book. And I was coming from a very

74
00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:23.160
cloistered lifestyle as a Catholic student. And I was a

75
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:26.759
student in Catholic school for about sixteen years. And I

76
00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:30.079
say it was like, you know, jumping from a convent

77
00:04:31.079 --> 00:04:34.839
to Hollywood, and it was just like a breath of

78
00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:39.800
fresh air. So I was amazed by the people, by

79
00:04:39.839 --> 00:04:43.480
Americans in general, and by the country.

80
00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:47.000
It is a beautiful country, definitely got to.

81
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:50.079
Say that really is. And North Carolina is great too.

82
00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:52.040
Oh yeah, I.

83
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:57.000
Mean I'll tell you, like, you know, having lived between

84
00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:59.120
you or California and North Carolina, I do.

85
00:04:59.639 --> 00:05:04.959
I am Harshalton. The other two states are not beautiful.

86
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:07.959
Right, I've been in Durham, North Carolina.

87
00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:09.879
Beautiful.

88
00:05:10.439 --> 00:05:14.199
So when you came here, I know your life has

89
00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:19.959
been impacted by Ronald Lewis. So tell a little bit

90
00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:23.279
about that. And tell us about your journey as to

91
00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:28.720
when you came in as a student in how your

92
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:29.480
life progressed.

93
00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:32.800
Well. I finished at the University of Florida. I got

94
00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.920
a scholarship there and I was also a graduate assistant.

95
00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:40.319
I taught public relations and I was the first honors

96
00:05:40.319 --> 00:05:43.519
graduate of their master's program, So that kind of gave

97
00:05:43.560 --> 00:05:46.120
me a push, and I moved from Gainesville, Florida, to

98
00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:50.720
for Chicago, then San Francisco, but my target was always

99
00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:54.120
New York because my field as public relations, and New

100
00:05:54.199 --> 00:05:59.279
York is where it was at back then. So even

101
00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:01.759
though sort of up on the break of bankruptcy and

102
00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:05.519
it was pretty dirty and dangerous at the time, but

103
00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:09.600
it was still the center for media and public relations,

104
00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:14.759
and I wound up getting my big break there. When

105
00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:19.319
I first met Reginald Lewis, I was moving from PR

106
00:06:19.399 --> 00:06:21.319
firm to PR firm, and I got a phone call

107
00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:26.399
one day from somebody I'd never heard of, I did

108
00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:28.959
never meet, And it's this woman who spoke to me

109
00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:30.879
on the phone and said, I got your name from

110
00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:34.399
a Wallseat Journal reporter and my husband has a PR problem.

111
00:06:34.839 --> 00:06:36.639
You have to talk to him and don't worry because

112
00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:40.439
someday he's going to be a big account of yours.

113
00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:43.519
I half believed there. I didn't, you know, I just

114
00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:46.439
got this call out of the blue. But I wound

115
00:06:46.519 --> 00:06:50.040
up calling him back and that was that turned out

116
00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:54.279
to be Lloyda Lewis, the wife of Reginald Lewis. At

117
00:06:54.319 --> 00:06:57.360
the time, he was still unknown, but today in the

118
00:06:57.360 --> 00:07:01.319
African American community in particular, he's a folk he because

119
00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:05.079
if that phone call started a journey that I still

120
00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:08.959
look back on with some amazement, and I think that's

121
00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:12.519
important for people to know that. I think most people

122
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:15.879
are going to get a chance, or maybe several chances,

123
00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:18.279
and you just have to be ready for them. You

124
00:07:18.319 --> 00:07:19.879
have to be ready for that break. And this is

125
00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:23.720
something I tell my son works out in Hollywood, but

126
00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:26.240
I mean, you have to be prepared and ready so

127
00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:29.959
when your break comes, you can jump at it and

128
00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:31.240
you can be ready for it.

129
00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:36.000
That's such a powerful lesson that so because so many

130
00:07:36.040 --> 00:07:39.720
times what happens is people say, oh, you know, I'm

131
00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:42.839
not getting the opportunity. But having that mindset that you're.

132
00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:47.759
Ready mentally, and that mindset is so important.

133
00:07:47.800 --> 00:07:52.160
So tell me, that's a very important lesson that you're sharing.

134
00:07:52.519 --> 00:07:54.160
How can people prepare themselves?

135
00:07:55.759 --> 00:07:58.399
Well, I think the important thing is I think education

136
00:07:58.480 --> 00:08:02.319
is really important. There is no going around it. So

137
00:08:02.360 --> 00:08:06.279
I think that school matters, getting a good education, working

138
00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:11.240
hard matters. I've worked with five CEOs and they've taught

139
00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:15.879
me different lessons. Persistence is one, working hard is another.

140
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:18.240
I've been with CEOs where we had meetings at two

141
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:21.759
in the morning and then have to show up for

142
00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:26.040
work again at nine and the next day. But really

143
00:08:26.279 --> 00:08:28.240
working hard is important, and I think I think a

144
00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:32.240
faith in God. I think that one of the CEOs

145
00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:36.440
taught me that that that was important, especially for the downtimes,

146
00:08:36.879 --> 00:08:41.039
because we all have them, and you can't be negative

147
00:08:41.080 --> 00:08:43.039
about life. And then you've got to be able to

148
00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:46.639
reach into something in yourself that you believe in, and

149
00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:50.759
so having some faith in God is going to get

150
00:08:50.799 --> 00:08:52.320
you through the tough times.

151
00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:57.519
These are all great lessons and my apologies, I think

152
00:08:57.559 --> 00:09:00.799
so mispronounced Reginald's name, and so tell us a little

153
00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:03.840
bit about the gentleman and your journey with him.

154
00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:06.879
Well, I first met him back then. His problem was

155
00:09:06.919 --> 00:09:09.720
that he had just sold a company called McCall pattern company,

156
00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:12.679
made a lot of money and a new York Times

157
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.919
story had come out, which sort of he felt demean him.

158
00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:21.559
It talked about the new owners, and it disparaged a

159
00:09:21.559 --> 00:09:23.240
little bit of the work he had done over the

160
00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:26.159
last five years. I believe with McCall pattern, in which

161
00:09:26.200 --> 00:09:28.679
he transformed the company. He bought it and transformed it,

162
00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:32.559
made it profitable. It was a home pattern sewing company

163
00:09:32.600 --> 00:09:36.559
in Kansas, and he was His phone call to me

164
00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:40.519
through his wife was because he wanted I was a

165
00:09:40.519 --> 00:09:44.320
pr person, and I came up with a strategy that

166
00:09:44.720 --> 00:09:47.159
you know. He had called the New York Times reporter

167
00:09:47.159 --> 00:09:49.240
who wrote the original story, at six am in the

168
00:09:49.240 --> 00:09:52.159
morning and yelled at him. He found his number in

169
00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:55.279
the phone phone book, which is something you could do

170
00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:59.080
back then. Everybody was listed in the telephone directory, no

171
00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:02.240
matter who you were, and so he found his number,

172
00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:04.879
he yelled at him, and now he was trying to

173
00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:06.720
figure out what to do. And I happened to know

174
00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:10.320
the New York Times reporter, so I told him, don't worry, Rich,

175
00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:14.000
I'll work it out. So we get a meeting with

176
00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:17.120
him and potentially a second story, and I got to

177
00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:19.879
know as much as I could about his what he

178
00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:23.159
did when the call pattern, I called the reporter. I

179
00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:25.960
calmed him down, and I arranged for a second meeting,

180
00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:28.600
and then I arranged to meet Ridge and the lobby

181
00:10:28.600 --> 00:10:30.879
of the New York Times. And that was the only

182
00:10:30.919 --> 00:10:35.600
time I realized he was black. I had talked to

183
00:10:35.639 --> 00:10:38.720
him on the phone several times, and I'd never met

184
00:10:38.799 --> 00:10:42.120
him until he walked in through those revolving doors at

185
00:10:42.120 --> 00:10:44.440
the New York Times. And that's the only time I

186
00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:48.960
realized he was African American, which is great. I mean,

187
00:10:49.039 --> 00:10:52.960
there weren't too many black businessmen back then in nineteen

188
00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:57.080
eighty seven. And we went up and we talked to

189
00:10:57.080 --> 00:11:00.720
the reporter. I managed to do a pretty good job. Fourties later,

190
00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:02.639
we came out with a great story which made him

191
00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:05.399
a minor celebrity on Wall Street and brought him to

192
00:11:05.399 --> 00:11:08.879
the attention of somebody in Los Angeles, a guy by

193
00:11:08.879 --> 00:11:12.720
the name of Michael Milken, who was the godfather of

194
00:11:12.799 --> 00:11:16.759
all these big leveraged buyouts that people were doing back

195
00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:17.919
in the eighties and nineties.

196
00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:25.320
Wow, So what a journey. And what you said is

197
00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:27.919
that to me, You know, I come from.

198
00:11:27.720 --> 00:11:33.720
Biochemistry, and the way our molecules work, the way our

199
00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:36.879
systems work, we all are more similar.

200
00:11:37.960 --> 00:11:39.720
Than different.

201
00:11:40.759 --> 00:11:43.519
We have so much more in commonalities that I mean,

202
00:11:43.559 --> 00:11:47.240
of course, and having a difference is what makes the

203
00:11:47.320 --> 00:11:48.879
humanity so beautiful.

204
00:11:49.080 --> 00:11:52.000
I mean, of course there are dark side to it, but.

205
00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:56.759
Think about it, you know. Actually it was a wonderful question.

206
00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:02.279
One of our kids had asked, like, hmmm, why are

207
00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:05.759
people different? And I took him to the garden, like

208
00:12:05.799 --> 00:12:08.279
you know, took the kids to the garden and I said, like,

209
00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:11.559
look at so at that time, I was into gardening

210
00:12:11.559 --> 00:12:14.000
and we had a lot of different colored flowers and

211
00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:18.240
they said, I said, does any.

212
00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:19.759
Flower look different than the others?

213
00:12:19.799 --> 00:12:23.559
They said yeah, I said, but is any flower better

214
00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:26.759
or more beautiful than others? They're like, oh, they're different,

215
00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:30.519
but beautiful in their own way. So that's how I

216
00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:35.799
see people. And to me, it's just fascinating. Our differences

217
00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:38.879
bring us more closer together than that.

218
00:12:39.879 --> 00:12:45.919
So I agree, yeah, I think where our journeys are different, yes,

219
00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:49.080
we may look different, but in their essence, people are

220
00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:51.480
the same all over. I've traveled all over the world

221
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:53.960
and people have the same thing. They won't They're just

222
00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:57.320
like us. They want their kids to succeed, they get

223
00:12:57.320 --> 00:13:01.320
them a good education, they want to move into a

224
00:13:01.320 --> 00:13:04.799
decent place to live, take care of their parents. I mean,

225
00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:09.600
we have similar dreams and hopes and it's just a summer.

226
00:13:10.120 --> 00:13:12.159
Are doing better or the luckier than others? And I

227
00:13:12.159 --> 00:13:14.919
think people who live and work in the United States

228
00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.399
were born there are the luckiest people in the world.

229
00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:19.399
Oh. Absolutely.

230
00:13:20.279 --> 00:13:24.399
So you mentioned that you never worked with five CEOs,

231
00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:27.320
So tell us a little bit more about that portion

232
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:28.000
of your life.

233
00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:32.200
Well, the first CEO I worked with was Reginald Lewis

234
00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:34.960
because soon after I met, two months after I met,

235
00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:39.720
and he wound up borrowing. He made a one billion

236
00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:43.440
dollar bid and that's one billion with a B for

237
00:13:43.559 --> 00:13:46.799
a company called Beatrice International to sixty four companies in

238
00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:51.440
thirty one countries. And what he did was the it

239
00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:54.000
was big and he took it over. Its headquarters were

240
00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:58.200
in Paris. Our other headquarters was in New York. So

241
00:13:59.039 --> 00:14:01.080
within a space a few few months we were we

242
00:14:01.080 --> 00:14:04.639
moved into the top building in Manhattan overlooking Central Park.

243
00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.679
And then the I would spent most of my time

244
00:14:07.720 --> 00:14:11.240
in Europe. We got our own private plane. I flew

245
00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:13.639
on the Conquered a bunch of times from New York

246
00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:18.679
to Paris. So that what he taught me was was

247
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:22.960
the value of persistence. He had this slogan that he

248
00:14:23.080 --> 00:14:25.360
repeated in many of the speeches that he gave when

249
00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:28.799
he became more famous, and that was to keep going

250
00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:32.600
no matter what. And it was his life story was

251
00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:35.559
like that that he kept getting knocked down. He bought

252
00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:38.240
a mansion in the Hampton's after I met him, and

253
00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:43.200
the wound up it was, it was burned down in

254
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:47.000
the middle of the night. And then he we tried

255
00:14:47.039 --> 00:14:51.399
to take that company public beat TLC Beaters International, and

256
00:14:51.480 --> 00:14:55.679
we failed. We failed, but he never let it stop

257
00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:58.559
him because he kept going. And I think I think

258
00:14:58.600 --> 00:15:01.919
he had a lot to prove to himself and around

259
00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:04.919
him that I think he felt that people of color

260
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:08.399
are just as good as everybody else, and so that

261
00:15:08.519 --> 00:15:11.000
was important to him to succeed. So he kept going

262
00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:13.840
no matter what. So that's one lesson I learned from him.

263
00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:18.279
From his widow, who took over Lloyd to Lewis after

264
00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:21.360
he died at fifty from brain cancer, I learned the

265
00:15:23.039 --> 00:15:25.159
to have faith and faith in God. That's where what

266
00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:27.840
I learned from her, because she feels she's a very

267
00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:30.759
different leader from her husband, very nurturing. Her husband was

268
00:15:30.759 --> 00:15:34.480
sort of a screamer and very demanding, like a quarterback

269
00:15:34.519 --> 00:15:37.399
on a football team. And she was more of a nurturer.

270
00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:40.440
And she every time I went to her office, I

271
00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:45.159
felt good about myself, better about my life. So she

272
00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:48.399
was different faith in God. Then the current CEO I

273
00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:51.240
worked with is a guy by nath manny Panginina and

274
00:15:51.240 --> 00:15:55.360
he's out in Asia and he's he's he worked. He's

275
00:15:55.360 --> 00:15:57.639
a workaholic. I mean he works seven days a week,

276
00:15:58.279 --> 00:16:00.559
works all hours of the day and night. And so

277
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:03.279
I I guess I learned from him the value which

278
00:16:03.320 --> 00:16:05.519
had always seen it before, at value of fart work

279
00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:08.639
there were, you know. And then I worked with a

280
00:16:09.159 --> 00:16:11.559
CEO of a financial startup in New York who quit

281
00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:16.240
Goldman Sachs, George Butcher started his own company. So I

282
00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:18.080
learned that, you know, I mean, you can, you can

283
00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:21.639
leave everything behind you. He was a managing director at

284
00:16:21.639 --> 00:16:24.919
Goldman Sachs, but he left all behind to follow his

285
00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:29.240
his vision and start this company in municipal bonds. The

286
00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.240
last CEO I worked with was was was religious brother

287
00:16:32.240 --> 00:16:35.879
in law Jeene Fyoga, who took over in between Louda

288
00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:39.519
and him as CEO, and he from him, I learned

289
00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:44.720
the joy of being in business, being in charge, because

290
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:46.720
he brought a joy to it which had been missing

291
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:48.279
in our lives before.

292
00:16:50.039 --> 00:16:54.039
And that's amazing that you have worked with the different personalities,

293
00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:58.440
different people, but at the same time you can have

294
00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:01.840
a bus who can be a tyrants. I'm not saying

295
00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:03.720
any one of these were, But have you worked with

296
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:06.240
anybody who was like that? Oh?

297
00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:11.079
Yeah, a bunch, especially in New York. I mean several

298
00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:13.720
of the people there, I mean se of my boss

299
00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:15.640
is there in the PR firms. I mean there's one

300
00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:18.079
in particular, and I name him. Name him in the

301
00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:22.559
book I Tell the Stories, Curtis Hokster, And he was

302
00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:25.119
ran a small PR agency. It's one of my first

303
00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:28.799
jobs in New York City. And you know he was

304
00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:30.680
he was He was tough. I mean he was yelling

305
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:33.039
all the time. And he he wouldn't pay for our

306
00:17:33.160 --> 00:17:36.440
drinking water. He told us to get water from the

307
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:39.480
from the faucet. She can drink it in New York.

308
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:43.039
And so he wasn't getting any Secretaries were complaining about it,

309
00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:46.720
and every day like a battle. Every day was like

310
00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:49.039
a battle with him. But he he taught me to

311
00:17:49.079 --> 00:17:53.119
write and write quickly, right precisely because he was against

312
00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:58.319
such a yeller, and every time I came in the morning,

313
00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:00.920
he was yelling at somebody, and I was lucky if

314
00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:01.480
it wasn't me.

315
00:18:02.359 --> 00:18:04.359
M So, a lot of.

316
00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:08.000
A lot of my clients and a lot of our

317
00:18:08.039 --> 00:18:10.960
audience do face that because what happens is so many

318
00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:14.680
times people leave their jobs. And I think so the

319
00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:17.240
stats are like almost seventy to eighty percent of people

320
00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:20.000
leave their jobs because of a toxic boss or a

321
00:18:20.039 --> 00:18:26.720
tyrant boss. And sometimes the odds are not in their

322
00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:29.000
favor that they can just leave. Sometimes the market can

323
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:30.920
be tough, like just now, the market is tough. You know,

324
00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:34.359
it's not that easy to find a job. So what

325
00:18:34.519 --> 00:18:36.880
advice would you give to our audience, Like, you know,

326
00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:41.279
how could So they're two scenarios. One, if the odds

327
00:18:41.319 --> 00:18:43.440
are not in the favor, like they're not able to

328
00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:45.200
move out, what could they do?

329
00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:48.799
Let's look at that scenario first.

330
00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:52.079
Sure, first of all, I listened to your podcast on

331
00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:55.079
toxic bosses. By the way, I thought that was one

332
00:18:55.119 --> 00:18:58.519
of my favorites. But the okay, I think if you're

333
00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:00.839
stuck in that situation, and I've I have been stuck

334
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:04.240
in that situation. I mean you have to learn to

335
00:19:04.279 --> 00:19:06.920
live with it and to adjust. I mean, there are

336
00:19:06.920 --> 00:19:10.839
ways to deal with a toxic boss, but it's going

337
00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:12.440
to take a lot out of you. Because if you

338
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:15.720
keep getting told every morning that you're allows you so

339
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:19.079
and so, you're getting cursed out every day, it takes

340
00:19:19.079 --> 00:19:21.200
a toll on your self confidence. And I think it's

341
00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:24.079
really important to hold on to that. That you your

342
00:19:24.119 --> 00:19:28.519
self respect, your self confidence, you can't lose that. And

343
00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:31.680
so you if you have resources, you can draw on

344
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:38.319
a loving wife, a family, you're co workers, I mean,

345
00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:42.559
you're all fellow sufferers under this toxic boss, and so

346
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:46.680
you can really band together. And that's the way you

347
00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:50.039
build friendships. It's like being in a war together. Really,

348
00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:52.200
when you're with you've got that kind of a boss,

349
00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:56.920
you build a cameradity I've found. So you have to

350
00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:00.720
stick it out and keep your eyes open. But the

351
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:03.319
paycheck is important. I know for people you know you

352
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:07.039
can't afford to quit, but if you can try and

353
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:11.000
save some money and keep your eyes open and then

354
00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:13.920
one day you just announce it on LinkedIn or something

355
00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:17.519
that you're free, that you're open to possibilities, and that

356
00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:20.039
you're open to change and you're open for new jobs,

357
00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:24.079
and that might be the second best day of your

358
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:26.839
life is when you decide you're ready to quit, and

359
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:29.039
the best day will be when you quite another job.

360
00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:34.400
Yeah, it's it's a tough situation. And one thing.

361
00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:38.960
Two things that definitely stood out for me, like you

362
00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:42.519
said that, you know, make building alliances because others are

363
00:20:42.599 --> 00:20:45.880
going through that, and then that support can be very

364
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:51.079
very important. And then having that confidence that it's it's

365
00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:55.240
the boss, it's not true because here and you know,

366
00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:57.880
there can be different situations. So for example, it can

367
00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:05.000
be like, you know, one of my clients had this like, oh,

368
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:07.720
I gotta leave, and then when we took a look

369
00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:11.160
at what was going on, just kind of looking at

370
00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:15.519
objective perspective, we found out that actually it.

371
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:17.640
Was not the boss, it was her. So it's important

372
00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:20.240
to kind of evaluate the situation.

373
00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:23.000
Also, is the boss the same with everyone or is

374
00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:28.880
it just that they're with you, because sometimes we are

375
00:21:28.920 --> 00:21:31.200
not able to see things when we are very close

376
00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:34.119
to it, so very very important to do that as well.

377
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:35.759
And then of course if your boss is like that,

378
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:39.480
So two things, right, maintaining your confidence and building those alliances.

379
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:45.359
Now outside of building alliances, like when you have a

380
00:21:45.400 --> 00:21:49.720
toxic boss, what can you share with people? Because to me,

381
00:21:50.039 --> 00:21:54.000
relationships are so important. Tell us a little bit about

382
00:21:54.119 --> 00:21:57.599
building relationships and having those alliances.

383
00:21:58.279 --> 00:21:59.759
Well, give you I think the most important thing in

384
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:01.480
the world world is to have someone to talk to,

385
00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:04.839
because you need to be able to pour out your

386
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:07.640
troubles at the end of the day and and and

387
00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:14.200
just unload. And but that person or persons they're also

388
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:17.319
giving I mean, you're giving your burden kind of to them,

389
00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:19.279
you know what I mean when you start telling them

390
00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:21.720
about work and they're telling them about your troubles. I

391
00:22:21.720 --> 00:22:24.920
got yelled that day. I want to quit. But you

392
00:22:25.160 --> 00:22:28.279
need somebody to talk to. I mean, it could be

393
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:35.880
a your rabbi, your your girlfriend, your dog. I mean,

394
00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:38.759
but you have you need someone to bond with and

395
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:41.799
to be with your co workers. And if you have that,

396
00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:44.640
if you can pour out your troubles. It's access a

397
00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:49.799
uh as a safety valve for your frustrations at work.

398
00:22:50.279 --> 00:22:52.960
So that's really important because then you can refresh yourself.

399
00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:56.319
Then the next morning you're you're a little stronger because

400
00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:59.400
you've been able to talk about your problems and you've

401
00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:02.960
got to find that person or group of persons. You

402
00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:07.160
can join a club. I think that's important. Join a

403
00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:11.960
religious group. I mean being part of something that's bigger

404
00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:14.680
than you. I think that's that's also important. Maybe some

405
00:23:14.759 --> 00:23:19.759
service oriented work after your job. So there are a

406
00:23:19.799 --> 00:23:22.279
number of ways, but yeah, I mean the key thing

407
00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:26.200
is being able to talk to somebody about your problems.

408
00:23:26.279 --> 00:23:29.079
And I think that'll get you through the day, They'll

409
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:31.559
get you through the week, and eventually they'll get you

410
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:33.480
through that difficult job.

411
00:23:34.279 --> 00:23:34.640
M hm.

412
00:23:35.559 --> 00:23:38.440
And you mentioned like kind of going back to the

413
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:42.359
story that time when you kind of came over here,

414
00:23:42.680 --> 00:23:46.319
so it is different culture and you, as you mentioned,

415
00:23:46.319 --> 00:23:49.079
you know in those early days of going through the

416
00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:54.200
public relations and initial public offerings, So what were your

417
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:59.839
desires back then, and what choices did you make that

418
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:01.839
if you were to look back upon, you would see it.

419
00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:04.680
You know, I would not have made that choice.

420
00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:09.559
Well, the biggest I have a lot of regrets, I mean,

421
00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:13.880
like anybody, but perhaps my biggest regret is maybe I

422
00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:18.000
should have paid more attention to to my then wife.

423
00:24:18.079 --> 00:24:20.759
I think that which I think that was important. She'd

424
00:24:20.759 --> 00:24:25.200
been great for me, but now we're friends. But I

425
00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:28.160
was very focused on my career, very focused on my job.

426
00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:31.119
I was like that way since I was in high school.

427
00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:34.599
I got married late because I wanted to be self sufficient,

428
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:39.519
I have a career before I I wound up with

429
00:24:39.559 --> 00:24:43.680
somebody permanent and proposed, and for a while it was

430
00:24:43.720 --> 00:24:46.960
a great marriage and it worked out really great. But

431
00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:51.359
I do think that, you know, after all that, the

432
00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:55.039
I probably should have spent more time with her. I

433
00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:57.119
was just so focused on work and traveling all around.

434
00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:59.480
But I also think that, you know, DIVI, I still

435
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:03.240
believe in I still believe in in in that, and

436
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:08.039
I think it's so important to everyone to have somebody

437
00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:10.720
that you care for or that who cares for you.

438
00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:15.039
And it can be a dog, it can be anybody,

439
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:19.079
but I think you need that keep going. And I've

440
00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:24.400
felt the loss of it one big regret, but I

441
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:26.279
have others I talk.

442
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:32.880
To, So what I'm hearing is that it's important to

443
00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:37.519
kind of like not be just focused on work, like

444
00:25:37.720 --> 00:25:40.799
definitely you know hard work is important, but also bringing

445
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:45.839
your personal life and family and then focus on that relationship.

446
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:49.079
So we are coming back to the relationships that looking

447
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:53.359
around and building that capacity because as you mentioned earlier,

448
00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:56.880
be ready for that opportunity said the same token, be

449
00:25:57.000 --> 00:25:59.960
ready for not to let go of the opportunity.

450
00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:03.039
That you have in hand, right. And I also think

451
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:05.559
that at the end of my book, I do say

452
00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:11.359
ordinary people, after working with all these CEOs and and

453
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:14.519
and all that I feel that ordinary people who have

454
00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:18.200
a regular job and make a decent living and a

455
00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:20.599
decent wage and can go home at the end of

456
00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:24.400
the day, kick their feet up, have a beer and

457
00:26:24.440 --> 00:26:27.720
watch a baseball game or something, I think they're far

458
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:32.480
happier than the people sometimes that I've met in the

459
00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:35.720
in the corporate world who have who might seem to

460
00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:39.079
have everything, but I found that there they can be

461
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:44.559
very isolated, isolated people. And you know, so I do.

462
00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:46.759
One ceo his happiest time of the day was when

463
00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:50.160
he went home and he turned up the air conditioned

464
00:26:50.200 --> 00:26:54.000
real high and they pulled the blanket over him, and

465
00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:56.599
for him, that was the best part of a day.

466
00:26:58.240 --> 00:26:59.720
You can have all the money in the world, but

467
00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:01.160
I'm treat places with you.

468
00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:06.200
Yeah, And you talked about like, you know, even having

469
00:27:06.200 --> 00:27:09.920
a dog, like you know, pets are so wonderful. They

470
00:27:09.960 --> 00:27:11.119
love you unconditionally.

471
00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:16.799
And as a matter fact, to one of my clients,

472
00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:22.000
she said that, like, you know, after a long day,

473
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:25.359
she's in the c suite and she said, I love

474
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:29.480
my kids, but Divia, like you know, at night, like

475
00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:32.200
when I'm so exhausted, I.

476
00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:35.839
Just love to snug out to my dog on the couch,

477
00:27:36.519 --> 00:27:38.119
zen out.

478
00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:38.839
And watch some TV.

479
00:27:39.079 --> 00:27:44.480
So yeah, it's it's yeah, life is what we kind

480
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:48.480
of make of it. And coming back to the professional site,

481
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:51.359
especially with you, like you know, being in PR, you

482
00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:56.640
have clients, right and as you mentioned, you had very

483
00:27:56.680 --> 00:27:58.319
high powered clients.

484
00:27:59.319 --> 00:28:02.480
How would you say you approach them?

485
00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:04.759
Like, you know, there are sometimes things that we have

486
00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:06.799
to tell our clients that we don't want to tell them,

487
00:28:06.839 --> 00:28:08.920
and that's there are things they don't.

488
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:11.200
Want to hear. How did you approach those situations?

489
00:28:12.079 --> 00:28:14.039
You know, that's a great point to view because I

490
00:28:14.039 --> 00:28:16.960
think it's a very important thing to know. And that's

491
00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:19.720
one thing that some of my PR bosses taught me

492
00:28:19.799 --> 00:28:21.680
is that you at the end of the day, you

493
00:28:21.720 --> 00:28:23.799
have to be able to tell your client the truth.

494
00:28:24.839 --> 00:28:29.039
And as one of them said to me, don't commit suicide.

495
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:32.240
I mean, don't tell them. Don't tell them when they're

496
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:33.920
in a bad mood or in the worst part of

497
00:28:33.960 --> 00:28:36.319
their day. Or something and just come out and blurt it.

498
00:28:36.759 --> 00:28:40.119
But pick your moments, and at the end of the day,

499
00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:42.480
you've got to be able to give people your best advice.

500
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:45.480
And maybe you're wrong, but I think you'll feel better

501
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:48.200
about yourself and most of the time you're going to

502
00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:51.920
be right. So I think that was something I have.

503
00:28:52.119 --> 00:28:54.720
That's something I've tried to keep. But it's not always

504
00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:58.759
easy because if somebody's always yelling at you or cursing,

505
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:02.559
and you know, and they don't like being told no,

506
00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:05.880
and I know a bunch of CEOs and leaders who

507
00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:11.039
were like that. The tendency in the corporate office is

508
00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:14.640
to be a yes man or yes woman and to

509
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:18.480
agree because it's just an easier life for you. And

510
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:22.119
I know people have gotten fired for doing that, so

511
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:24.799
you're sort of taking a risk. But I think it's important.

512
00:29:24.839 --> 00:29:27.920
That's what I was taught and what I learned in

513
00:29:28.359 --> 00:29:30.480
the PR businesses, that you've got to be able to

514
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:35.319
tell your client the truth because otherwise you're useless to them.

515
00:29:35.519 --> 00:29:40.079
That's such a powerful point. And also it's so important

516
00:29:40.119 --> 00:29:45.680
for your own self validation and for your own personal

517
00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:51.839
core values because it's important to maintain that respect for

518
00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:57.160
yourself because you know as inn pr like as a

519
00:29:57.359 --> 00:29:59.480
because as I'm a coach, you know, for we're out

520
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:03.599
there that we can support our clients, we can make them.

521
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:06.039
Like in my line of work, it's more about transformation,

522
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:07.680
and your line of work is like how can you

523
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:08.920
show them in the best of light.

524
00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:11.599
So it's important to tell them the truth. And you

525
00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:12.319
mentioned that.

526
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:17.359
It's very difficult and it's important to have those difficult conversations.

527
00:30:17.400 --> 00:30:19.839
So in your experience, what were like, you know, a

528
00:30:19.839 --> 00:30:23.720
couple of things that you implemented that made those difficult

529
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:25.480
conversations go a little bit smoother.

530
00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:32.559
Well, I think having a track record of success successes

531
00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:35.680
gives you the credibility where you can stand up in

532
00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:40.880
a room and speak the truth. When you've proven to

533
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.839
the company or to your boss or to your colleagues

534
00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:48.839
that you're you're good at your job, you've done it

535
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:52.160
well in the past. That gives you a certain amount

536
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.599
of space where you can be honest with them because

537
00:30:56.599 --> 00:30:58.160
then they're prepared to take it. But if you come

538
00:30:58.200 --> 00:31:00.279
out of the blue, you don't have a tracker, Kurt,

539
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:02.920
you start telling them all sorts of things then that

540
00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:07.079
they're not going to listen. To you as much. You'll

541
00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:10.279
get one one chance and then you're out. So building

542
00:31:10.279 --> 00:31:14.480
that credibility is important first. Once you have that, then

543
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:17.279
then you can then you've earned your spot at the

544
00:31:17.319 --> 00:31:21.400
table and you can speak your mind as much I

545
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:23.720
mean as much as you as much as you can,

546
00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:25.359
or as much as you feel that you need to.

547
00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:31.880
You're absolutely right, and it's you have to.

548
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:35.920
And it may be tough, like especially if you're starting out,

549
00:31:35.920 --> 00:31:39.160
you may be thinking like, oh, if I'm not pleasing

550
00:31:39.160 --> 00:31:41.519
my client, you know, then how can.

551
00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:42.400
I build that reputation?

552
00:31:43.400 --> 00:31:47.799
But one thing that I've learned and even in my profession,

553
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:51.319
that people will not like it in the moment when

554
00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:54.079
you tell them. And there are ways like where you

555
00:31:54.119 --> 00:31:57.160
can prep your client or prep anybody that you're talking

556
00:31:57.200 --> 00:32:00.519
with that listen, you know, it's important that we have

557
00:32:00.599 --> 00:32:04.079
a conversation. Like when you set the expectations, usually people

558
00:32:04.119 --> 00:32:06.559
are ready, so the reaction is not that knee jerk.

559
00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:09.279
But at the same time, even if they're ready, the

560
00:32:09.319 --> 00:32:14.039
reaction can still be knee jerk, but they start having

561
00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:18.240
respect for you that you looked out for them. So definitely,

562
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:20.839
I really love that point. Now going back to the

563
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:24.400
time when you were involved in the IPO. Tell Us

564
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:33.480
tell our audience a little bit more about the leveraged buyouts,

565
00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:36.920
like what are they and how they kind of went

566
00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:39.279
down during the time of two thousand and eight recession

567
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:40.799
and they're making their way back.

568
00:32:42.039 --> 00:32:44.839
Well, back then, you could borrow a lot of money

569
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:50.319
and take over companies, I mean huge corporations like at

570
00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:54.720
the time RGR and Ebisco, TWA Airlines, you name it.

571
00:32:56.079 --> 00:32:59.839
Beatri's Foods once used to be a multi billion dollar business,

572
00:33:00.319 --> 00:33:02.480
but they were getting taken over by people who had

573
00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:06.480
nobody ever heard of because they were able to borrow

574
00:33:06.599 --> 00:33:09.000
a great deal of money as long as they had

575
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:11.519
a plan and they had the guts, the courage to

576
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:15.359
execute on it and had done smaller deals in the past,

577
00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:18.880
and they moved up to bigger deals and then the

578
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:23.000
money became unimaginable. They were borrowing billions of dollars to

579
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:26.720
buy bigger and bigger corporations. And what they did was

580
00:33:26.759 --> 00:33:29.839
they would take over a company, then they would use

581
00:33:29.880 --> 00:33:32.359
the assets of that company to pay down the debt.

582
00:33:32.359 --> 00:33:35.519
They would sell off the assets and sell off the

583
00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:37.960
companies that they had bought to pay down their debt,

584
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.079
and they'd be left to the core of the company

585
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:42.960
that they had bought and that would give them the

586
00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:45.599
income to do very well, so.

587
00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:47.559
Basically getting out the company.

588
00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:51.640
Yeah, well yeah, because they were going after these big

589
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:55.920
conglomerates at the time in the eighties and nineties, companies

590
00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:58.880
were just buying businesses right and left, and they were

591
00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:03.359
often related to each other. Preachers Foods started off as

592
00:34:03.400 --> 00:34:05.640
a food company I think in Nebraska, but by the

593
00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:11.719
time it got taken over and leverage buyout, they had

594
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:15.519
Samsonite luggage, they had orbal red and Backer popcorn, they

595
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:19.199
had Tropicana orange juice, and then they had these sixty

596
00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:22.480
four companies around the rest of the world outside of

597
00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:26.519
the United States. So they were in completely unrelated businesses

598
00:34:26.559 --> 00:34:29.440
and the it didn't take a genius to look at

599
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:32.000
and say, you know what, these companies might be more

600
00:34:32.320 --> 00:34:35.880
valuable as a standalone business and putting them all together.

601
00:34:36.079 --> 00:34:38.320
So that's that's really what happened. And a lot of

602
00:34:38.360 --> 00:34:41.760
these companies were not doing as well as they should have,

603
00:34:41.960 --> 00:34:47.480
so everybody kept talking about shareholder value. Shareholder value, so

604
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:48.559
that's what we kept hearing.

605
00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:52.000
And are they making a comeback again?

606
00:34:52.039 --> 00:34:57.400
Now? I think they are. I keep I think because

607
00:34:57.480 --> 00:35:00.280
people read about it, they look back to those days,

608
00:35:00.360 --> 00:35:04.320
and my book might to kindle interest in it. They

609
00:35:04.519 --> 00:35:07.719
went through a period when they were not popular, but frankly,

610
00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:11.480
I think you can make a lot of money. I

611
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:14.440
don't want to recommend this as of course, but they

612
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:18.599
are these high yield, high yield bonds. These these companies

613
00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:22.159
that are not that well known, that have a risk

614
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:25.519
of default, but you can buy their bonds at a

615
00:35:25.559 --> 00:35:30.320
discount and sell them later on down the line for

616
00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:33.519
a large gain, and that was a whole value. I

617
00:35:33.559 --> 00:35:37.000
know several of my friends from those days who really

618
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:40.760
invested in these so called high yield bonds because they're

619
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:46.000
they're higher risk, but the reward is potentially quite big.

620
00:35:46.559 --> 00:35:48.920
And if you look at these companies, they're not bad.

621
00:35:49.559 --> 00:35:52.119
I mean, they're not as well known as the companies

622
00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:54.119
that you see every day or you know, they're not

623
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:58.199
Apple or Facebook or something, but they're they're doing well

624
00:35:58.280 --> 00:36:02.039
in their core business, whether it's furniture making furniture North Carolina,

625
00:36:02.079 --> 00:36:06.760
whether it's it's uh, you know, selling hamburgers, and it's

626
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:10.280
not it's not with Donald's or Wendy's. But they're doing

627
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:13.840
a good job. And you know, there's flood Rockers, which

628
00:36:13.880 --> 00:36:17.440
is bought by somebody I had met. So I think

629
00:36:17.519 --> 00:36:20.679
this might be making a comeback. But you know, it

630
00:36:20.760 --> 00:36:22.119
takes a lot of courage to.

631
00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:24.480
Do it absolutely.

632
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:30.159
And so as your Johnny has moved through it, what

633
00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:32.000
are you doing currently and what's next for you?

634
00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:35.920
Well, I'm going to be selling this book. I'm going

635
00:36:35.960 --> 00:36:38.880
to be through out promoting it over the next six

636
00:36:38.920 --> 00:36:41.239
months or so to a year. But I know I

637
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:45.039
did transform. I did make up. At the last chapter

638
00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:47.840
of my book. It's called the Loss and Redemption, and

639
00:36:48.599 --> 00:36:52.639
because at the end, you know, my wife left and

640
00:36:53.159 --> 00:36:57.480
the so I lost that, but I stry to hear that, Yeah,

641
00:36:57.679 --> 00:37:01.079
it was a long marriage and great wild but I'm

642
00:37:01.119 --> 00:37:05.159
okay now and moved on. But the redemption part was

643
00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:09.840
important because my boss, my CEO back then, threw me

644
00:37:09.880 --> 00:37:13.199
a lifeline and he made me head of the company Foundation.

645
00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:16.480
And what it did is at first I thought it

646
00:37:16.519 --> 00:37:18.159
was a chore, you know, it was a pain in

647
00:37:18.199 --> 00:37:20.679
the neck. But I realized I could make it about

648
00:37:20.679 --> 00:37:26.480
helping people. I knew security guards, drivers, waiters, and I

649
00:37:26.519 --> 00:37:29.440
instituted a micro finance program for them because I realized

650
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:31.960
that many of them are always in debt. And then

651
00:37:32.079 --> 00:37:38.079
I was at the helm of this foundation when a

652
00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:43.440
huge storm killed ten thousand people in a place in

653
00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:48.719
the central Philippines, and my foundation achieved a bigger profile.

654
00:37:48.920 --> 00:37:51.480
It became a national foundation.

655
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:53.880
And that's a lot of people.

656
00:37:54.599 --> 00:37:56.920
It's a lot of people. And I saw I went,

657
00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:59.239
I flew in there four days after the typhoon, and

658
00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:04.960
there were dead bodies all over, covered over galvanized sheets.

659
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:08.519
I mean, it's one of the sites I'll never forget.

660
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:12.559
So I've been through several of those tragedies. But the

661
00:38:12.599 --> 00:38:15.559
fulfillment I get at the end of the day by

662
00:38:15.639 --> 00:38:18.960
helping people, that's something that you cannot buy, and that

663
00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:23.400
to be paid for this kind of work. I told

664
00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:25.679
a friend the other day, I pay somebody to be

665
00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:27.159
able to do this kind of work where I can

666
00:38:27.239 --> 00:38:31.400
help people and and and change their lives for the better.

667
00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:36.719
Organization is startups. We take equity and startups we invest

668
00:38:36.760 --> 00:38:42.159
in them. And so they're very unrelated fields, very unrelated

669
00:38:42.199 --> 00:38:45.960
teams disasters on one hand and then startups on the other.

670
00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:48.400
But I enjoy doing both.

671
00:38:50.719 --> 00:38:53.840
Yeah, no, congratulations. It's a good way to.

672
00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:01.920
Have that career where you're impacting and There's nothing more

673
00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:05.039
powerful than that, the joy and the fulfillment that brings.

674
00:39:05.599 --> 00:39:08.719
Because you're part of somebody's life. You're helping somebody achieve

675
00:39:08.719 --> 00:39:13.280
their dreams, You're helping them through their difficult, challenging times.

676
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:17.079
So how can people connect with you? Where can they

677
00:39:17.079 --> 00:39:20.039
find your book? And what's the title? If you want

678
00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:21.320
to share your.

679
00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:26.519
Book, I'll thanks for giving me this moment. It's called

680
00:39:26.719 --> 00:39:30.639
from Manila to Wall Street and it has a subtype

681
00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:36.199
subtitle an Immigrants Journey with America's first Black Tycoon. So

682
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:38.800
there's two stories. One is my story, but the biggest

683
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:41.719
story is Reginald Lewis. So it was like the Great

684
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:45.000
gats to me, and I'm Nick Carraway telling his story.

685
00:39:45.679 --> 00:39:48.519
So it's available on Amazon and hope to get the

686
00:39:49.280 --> 00:39:52.880
book out there starting in May. Should be out there soon.

687
00:39:52.880 --> 00:39:57.440
It's out on Kindle now and it'll be available for

688
00:39:57.519 --> 00:40:00.639
pre orders very soon. So I'm I'm going to start

689
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:03.079
pushing on it. I'll be going around the country. I'll

690
00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:07.800
be visiting North Carolina. I hope in Durham in particular,

691
00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:11.599
because there's a group there called Black Wall Street hooked

692
00:40:11.679 --> 00:40:14.119
up with a few years ago. They invited and paid

693
00:40:14.159 --> 00:40:16.679
for me to speak there, so I hope to visit

694
00:40:16.719 --> 00:40:19.519
them again and I enjoyed my time in the state.

695
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:25.039
Yeah. No, that sounds very promising. So I'm sure the

696
00:40:25.079 --> 00:40:29.960
book is going to be amazing and thank you. Yeah,

697
00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:35.039
and you know their audience, like you've heard, which's journey

698
00:40:35.039 --> 00:40:38.400
and it's filled with nuggets of wisdom and insights and

699
00:40:38.440 --> 00:40:40.639
I'm sure you all will get a lot of value

700
00:40:40.639 --> 00:40:46.159
from it. So definitely to go and get it.

701
00:40:47.039 --> 00:40:48.519
Thank you for that plug God Davia.

702
00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:56.079
Absolutely, And if people want to connect with you, what's

703
00:40:56.079 --> 00:40:57.320
the best way to connect with you?

704
00:40:58.679 --> 00:41:02.639
My email is This email is actually on my website, Okay,

705
00:41:03.159 --> 00:41:07.639
Wismiley dot com. If you just google I L y.

706
00:41:07.800 --> 00:41:10.239
First name is Butch B t H. Don't ask me

707
00:41:10.280 --> 00:41:13.519
how I got that name, but that's a You can

708
00:41:13.599 --> 00:41:16.960
just google it and the website will pop up and

709
00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:19.159
I've got an email there where you can shoot you

710
00:41:19.159 --> 00:41:19.599
an email.

711
00:41:21.079 --> 00:41:25.880
All fantastic. Any last words you'd like to share with

712
00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:27.000
the listeners.

713
00:41:27.639 --> 00:41:33.119
Well, first of all, I honor you your journey because you're

714
00:41:33.159 --> 00:41:36.320
an example for everyone else. You come to the United

715
00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:39.760
States and your journey has been spectacular, and you've got

716
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:42.880
a great platform and to your listeners. I think the

717
00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:46.039
key lesson for me is what Reginald Lewis taught me,

718
00:41:46.119 --> 00:41:49.280
is that to keep going no matter what, and no

719
00:41:49.320 --> 00:41:52.199
matter what there is in your life now and may

720
00:41:52.199 --> 00:41:56.039
be terrible. You may have a tough boss and it's

721
00:41:56.079 --> 00:41:59.239
a dead end job or something, but things are going

722
00:41:59.320 --> 00:42:04.360
to turn around and there Oharrison, tomorrow is another day,

723
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:08.239
and I think you at the end of the day,

724
00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:11.039
you've got to take stop stock, get some rest, and

725
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:14.159
then get up next morning. I think you feel better

726
00:42:14.159 --> 00:42:17.679
about yourself and keep going no matter what.

727
00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:23.840
Absolutely well, thank you for joining us, but we enjoyed

728
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:30.199
your conversation, and thank thank you for your time, and

729
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:33.360
thank you, my dear audience, because without you, the show

730
00:42:33.400 --> 00:42:36.320
would not be possible. You are the life and blood

731
00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:38.159
of this show. Do reach out to us, let us

732
00:42:38.199 --> 00:42:40.800
know how can we serve you and how can we

733
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:44.599
support you in living the life that you deserve.

734
00:42:45.639 --> 00:42:48.559
And thank you one for making this show technically possible.

735
00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:51.400
So be well and take care until next time.

736
00:42:52.719 --> 00:42:55.119
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your

737
00:42:55.119 --> 00:42:57.480
host d V Park, we hope you have learned more

738
00:42:57.480 --> 00:43:00.199
about how to start living the life you want. Each

739
00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:03.119
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people

740
00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:06.280
who have experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building

741
00:43:06.360 --> 00:43:10.960
meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Dvpark shares what happened to

742
00:43:11.000 --> 00:43:13.159
her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to

743
00:43:13.199 --> 00:43:16.280
work directly with people across the globe. She not only

744
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:19.719
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform

745
00:43:19.760 --> 00:43:23.519
relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live

746
00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:25.960
the life they want. If you are ready to live

747
00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:28.840
the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more

748
00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:33.039
at www dot dwpark dot com and you can connect

749
00:43:33.079 --> 00:43:37.480
with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward

750
00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:38.880
to you joining us next week