The If-Then of Emotional Storytelling

0:00 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not those of W four WN Radio it's employees or affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio, its employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W four WN Radio. This is Beyond Confidence with your host W Park. Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional, and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward does not have to happen at the expense of your personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at WWA You Don't Divpark dot com and you can connect with Divant contact at divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence.

1:07 And now here's your host, div Park. Good morning listeners, and today we are going to have a conversation just you and I. And today if you're going to be talking about one of my favorite things, storytelling, and you may be thinking what's so special about storytelling? I want you to take yourself maybe five thousand years back, even during those times when men was not so well worked with technology and there was no language, nothing. Think about when men gathered the firewood to cook their food. And imagine a family or maybe even a tribe or a clan sitting around the fire and telling stories.

2:14 And stories were passed down from generations to generations. Think about a grandpa having his granddaughter and grandsons sitting by him and telling them stories how they could hunt, how they could protect themselves from animals, how they could find the food in nature. So stories have been around for generations, for millennia, even before the advent of language. And that's why I love storytelling. Storytelling is what connects us with our family, our friends, and ourselves. So I want to share something very beautiful. I remember when I was young. My dad just so fascinating. It's whenever I wouldn't listen to my appearance, or I was being stubborn, or something was going on, he would never admonish me. He would never scold me. What he would do is he would say, how about we have a story time? And having that story time was one of my favorite times with my dad because my dad was a quiet person. Yeah we spend time together, but it wasn't that exuberant type,

3:46 you know, or something like that. But there are still moments that were super special with my dad. So he would sit me down and tell me a story of another girl and how that girl behaved in that similar situation in which I had been, And what it did for me was without having to feel belittled, without having to feel that guilt or shame, I learned my lesson. He did not put me down. He didn't tell me, Divia, you are a bad little girl. You shouldn't have done this, you should not be doing this, you needed to do this, or you needed to do that. He wouldn't do that. He would sit down. I would snuggle against him, looking up to him, and he had this way of storytelling so beautiful. He made the characters come alive, and then this little girl, Jenna, was not perfect. Jenna made mistakes. And what Jenna did was Jenna owned up her mistakes and when she owned up, she

5:18 learned her lesson and she didn't do it the next time, or even if she did, she learned the lesson again. And he demonstrated through the stories that it was okay to fail, it was okay to fall. And from there, I have created this mantra for me. It's okay to fall, it's okay to fail, it's not okay to give up. Because hello human. Yes, whether it's me or whether it's you, let's say hello human.

6:03 Because we're human beings and we have this wonderful capacity where we can bounce back. Yes, we can bounce back, we can learn from our mistakes, we can grow, and we can change our lives. We can change other people's lives. And the reason I'm sharing about storytelling is because just a couple of days back, I lost my dad and I'm honoring him. I'm devoting this episode to him, and I want to share about storytelling because I grew up with storytelling. Not only my dad passed on stories to me, my grandparents passed on so many stories to me, and I used to write story. I still love writing short stories. I used to let my imagination just run and create these characters. So here's what I'll share with you.

7:13 Whenever my parents grounded me, I would go sit on the highest branch of this tree. It was a tropical tree, beautiful tree. It used to have these wide, beautiful flowers, tiny tiny little flower shaped like stars, and they smelled heavenly. And the canopy of leaves was so thick that when I would just go and sit on the topmost branch, I felt I was in a wonderland of my own. That was my kingdom. The sunlight filtering through the leaves and I would look on and I would see this just beautiful green light. I felt cozy, I felt warm, and my imagination took flight. Now stories after stories, and of course there was no structure to it. I was very young, and yet I was able to let my creator come out of me and remember each and every one of us. Yes, every one of you has a creative genius within you. It doesn't mean that you have to tell stories, you have to write. Everyone has their own creative geniuses. It could be dancing it could be painting, It could

8:46 be problem solving, It could be listening to people and coming up with solutions. You could be a creator in public relations, you could be a creator in human relations. You could be a creator of any form of art. And that's one thing I want to bring across today. Creativity and storytelling naturally happens because what think about any journey that you've gone through, And the key is that storytelling will help you not only in your personal growth, but also in your business or if you're a leader, and if you share a story about not just about the boring data, but if you bring how the team was struggling, and if you create that protagonist, and if you create even the antagonist, and the antagonist can be your problems and obstacles that have come into your way. And think about it, like how fascinating it would be when you would be telling that story to your audience, whether it is an audience of one, whether it's your child, whether it's your friend, whether it is your parents, or whether it is your client, or whether it is your colleagues, or whether you're sharing it with your boss, doesn't matter.

10:11 So I want to go and share and I can tell you that. I'm sure that as I was sharing the story with you, you were able to picture me sitting in that tree and just being surrounded by the warmth of the nature, being surrounded by the warmth of that sunlight, and that just jazzing me up and filling me with life. And like even today I can share with you when I go back in time and transport myself to that moment, it fills me with this beautiful energy. And I also want us to go back to the lion king. Yes, think about Simba. Simba feels guilty about his father death, Mufasa, and of course his uncle Scar is instrumental in like so many things, where Simba is confronting himself, He's grappling with the death of his father, and of course his treacherous uncle Scar is on his tail. So what does Simba do. He exiles himselves. He abandons his identity and responsibilities. The defining moment happens when Simba confronts his past,

11:41 and at that time the story takes a significant turn. And don't we all go through can't you relate yourself that so many times we are so harsh on ourselves, We don't identify with so many things we do not identify that it's okay to fail. You identify that we are a failure, and we retreat back. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to challenge you today, challenge you to become aware of the stories you're telling yourself, just like symbodic, So the storytelling is just not for you to tell stories to others. It's also for you to see what stories are you telling yourself.

12:35 So critical for you to know what stories you are telling and how you can reframe and how you can take that journey and tell the story about it to somebody else, because I guarantee you, yes, I guarantee you, that there is someone else who is experiencing what you have experienced, and imagine you having that impact on that person's life just because you have shared that story. So remember that storytelling is not an option, it's a responsibility because we're not just here to have fun. And of course, of course we are here to have fun. Our lives are more than that. I dare you.

13:30 I challenge you to become more than who you are. Go beyond who you are, go and see how much more can you express yourself? Who you can become and that can happen through storytelling, through going through what stories you are telling? Are you that little symbol? Are your fears your uncle Scar? Are you grappling with your past mistakes? Yes, a lot of things can happen. And here's the thing. Like you know, we all are emotional beings. And also note that we all make our decisions through emotions but justify it through our logical brain. But emotions play a crucial role in our lives. And as a result, emotions play a crucial role in storytelling.

14:26 And it's through emotions that we can just go from going from a mere sequence of events to making that story memorable experience. Now, just let me tell you, like how it can be different, and I will show you. So for example, I'm going to go back to Jenna because my dad, you still love telling me stories about Jenna. It's okay if I'm telling me, okay, Jenna's a little girl, lives in a town. She went to school, She graduated from high school. If you went to college, she graduated with the NBA. And now is working what does it do for you? Nothing? Yes? Nothing? Now versus we bring an emotion to the story we described Jenna. Jenna is a precocious girl who is impulsive sometimes, who will jump into things without realizing that there could be danger.

15:31 And she can be a little stubborn sometimes where if she has made a mistake, she will feel really bad that why did she do that? And then she will retreat back. So now it gives you a picture of this little girl who is Jenna. Now let's progress her story for the dawn. As Jenna grew up and as Jena learned that it was okay to make mistakes, it was okay to fail. So ash she was in high school, she was trying to fit in the popular girl club. But she was not a popular girl. And as she was trying to get into the popular girls clubs, she could not and she started feeling that she was not enough. She started feeling that, oh, I don't want to go to school. She started skipping school. And then one day one of the teachers who knew that Jenna was bright, Jenna was sitting at the back of the class. Jenna would not look up. So what had changed was when Jenna had stepped into ninth grade, she was bright eyed. She was sitting in the front of

17:03 the classroom answering questions. You know, She would raise her hand every time the teacher asked like, okay, this is you know who can answer this. Whether it was math class or English class, or chemistry class, or any class it was, her hand was up and slowly by slowly because other kids started mocking, oh look at Jenna, the show off. Oh look at Jenna this and that. She's not having fun. She is a bore, she's a nerd. So what happened was Jenna started retreating back. Jenna started sitting in the back of the class. So teacher asked Jenna please stay back of her class. And the teacher told Jenna, Jenna, you're getting ready for college. You're such a bright student and I would love to see how I can support you so that we can bring you grades up and I would love to support you in your applications, help you build your curricular activities.

18:21 And Jenna's eyes popped open. The teacher was not pointing her mistakes. The teacher was not shaming her or blaming her for not showing up in class. The teacher was not be lettling her that look, you could have done so much more. And where you are at right now, don't you understand you will be applying for colleges, and aren't you what is going on with you? Why aren't you paying attention to your grades? Why aren't you studying like you were studying before? There was none of that. There was no blaming, no shaming, no judgment, no criticism, no guilty. And the teacher tapped on the desk, sat down and invited Jenna to come sit down and talk to her. The teacher didn't say anything. There was this just beautiful inviting smile on her face with it excuse me, with an invitation to join. But there was no force, there's no pressure, just like a little doe. Jenna slowly sat down. They were quiet for several moments,

20:00 and then Jenna opened up and it was like as if the volcano erupted, as if the floodgates were opened, and then there was the rush of that tsunami. The emotion and everything let out. Tears were streaming down her face, and the teacher held Jenna's hands, just held her hands, nothing else, and they sat like that for several minutes, and those minutes seemed like eons. Jenna felt coconed in warmth, love and support, and as the teacher groomed her Jenna blossomed. Not only she went back to becoming top a student, she was a validatorian, she was in the music class, she was on debate team, got into a grade school. So we have only traversed the journey from childhood through the teenage of Jena, and look at the difference. What did we do. We are showing how that character is developing. That's the power of emotions. It's important for us to bring the

21:41 emotions in storytelling. One of my other favorite movies if you have not watched, is Forrest Gump. It is a tapestry of emotions from joy to sorrow that stays with you even after the movie has ended. It stays with you for days together. And I'm sure that you can relate to Jenna. So we have shown you how the emotion can make the story rich, how it can make it relevant for your audience. Now let's take a look at how can you go about it. Let's try something together. I want you to remember of a story, whether it was your grandpa, your grandma, your mom, your friend, your teacher, anyone, or a scene from a movie that moved you. So think about it. Take yourself back in that time. What emotions did it stir? Was it fear? Was it joy?

22:57 Was it anger? Was it yeah? Venture? Was it like you are there? Yes? Go go go? Were you rooting for the character or was it a mix of emotions? Really key to the bringing of emotions in storytelling, it's getting in touch with your emotions. And remember this is more than nostalgia. It is a way to understand the emotional depth we can bring into our own stories. Because when you become familiar, when you become aware. So it is two things. Attention, yes, attention to your emotions and intention as to how those emotions can be woven into your storytelling.

23:59 So that's exercise that you can do, and do it with me as you're listening to this podcast, and if you wanna, whether you're watching us on YouTube or whether you are listening to us to on the podcast, rewind it back and sit down and go through it all. Right, Another thing that you can do is how do the emotions play out in your life day to day life? What's happening not only your emotions but surrounding you so recently. So here's what I'm going to share a story with you. I love nature, So now that doesn't mean I like exercising. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. So usually what happens is I have several different favorite parks, and one of my favorite parks is where when I start out with my hike and as I'm coming back, I end up in the children's play area where there are swings and I love swinging. I can tell you as a child, I used to love being in trees and swinging and just being outdoors.

25:15 So when I what I do is especially on days when I'm not feeling like exercising, And yeah, it happens to all of us. Remember very human beings that any time you feel that you don't want to do anything, just say hello human, it's okay, Yeah, it's completely okay. So what I do is I give myself a destination where am I going and what fun I'm going to do. It could be fun activity, it could be reading a book, whatever it is that you're like. So as I come back and as I'm swinging, I just gently swing and look around the left of a child, or if a child has fallen down, or if kids are not playing, you know moms scolding their children, no, no, no, you can do that, or if you are in a grocery store, or if you are going to a cafe it doesn't matter throughout the day, or if you're watching TV. Look at the emotions as they play out in your day to day life. It could be would be walking down the street and somebody smiles at you. See how the eyes crinkle up. See how

26:48 the smile reaches their eye. And sometimes you'll find that people will just smile for the heck of smiling, and the smiles don't reach their eyes. Other story that I'm going to give to you is one of mynother hiking trails. There's this wonderful, beautiful lady like she has her music going on. She is so full of energy and as she's going on the pipe and she's riding her bike, she goes good morning, good morning, and just the level of energy in her voice is just so amazing and so catchy and contagious.

27:30 To look around for those emotions in your day to day life. And now the key is, after observing all this, how can you apply your emotions that you've learned about, that you've become aware of, and you know that you know about the emotions, how can you sprinkle those emotions in your storytelling? You may say, oh, Divia, you know you have been doing since you were a child. Health But remember when I read some of my stories when it grew up, I would not share them with you. Maybe I would. I don't know. It's they did not have any head or tail. I was just doing a brain dump. I wrote whatever came to my heart. Then that's the key. So for the first time, when you're doing a storytelling any event, so for example, you are meeting up your friends for dinner, or you are inviting somebody to your house, or you're going out, or you're traveling with someone. And always what happens is that you know, when you're sitting down around for the family dinner, whether it's a family dinner or with friends, it's always fun. If you have a short if you have a story to share and enow, if you can sprinkle it with some emotions and bring a little humor to it, it may

29:00 entertainment. And I'm not saying that you've got to become an entertainer. Or you could be sitting down and talking to someone who is in trouble, or you could be sitting down and talking to someone who is not feeling good. There can be multi multi multi ways you can use your storytelling. So first thing is big one story. That's the easiest for you. And now just do the brain dump. Yep, write it out. If you don't like writing, just take your phone and speak into it, because I do that all the time. Yes, I have written so many books. And here's what I'll tell you. I have not just kind of sat down either taken my note book. Yes, I have done that. I've taken my notebook and just write right right right. I have typed on the computer instead and hah, looked at the blank screen for half an hour. Yes, sometimes I've done that. I'm sitting there and I'm thinking of what do I write?

30:06 And then again, the key is that if you are having that blog, walk away and come back to it. One of the easiest ways I will share with you is speaking into your phone. So just do a brain dump. Yeah, just pour it out. Nobody's reading it. Remember that nobody's reading it. Yes, the key is yes, it's daunting, it can be intimidating. Here's what I can tell you. It's about taking that first plunch. It's about just being yourself. Just think about writing a short story, and I can give you some prompts. So okay, So one prompt could be write about a time when you visited a new place and what was your experience. Another promt, write about one of those times when you prepared a new dish and when everything went wrong. Now you could take you could create a problem for yourself. Write about a time when everything went wrong.

31:22 Write about a time when everything seemed to fall into place. Write about a time when you were visiting a restaurant and it was this hole in the wall place you were not expecting anything, You were hungry and you found that Ah, that food was delicious, Yes, as delicious as it comes. So just pick one of the stories that has happened in your life, one of those experiences, and do a brain DWP and then remember those emotions. Like, for example, let's talk about a time when you didn't want to do a thing and yet you did it. You did it despite the fear.

32:08 So how did your fear manifest in actions? Did it stop you it? Did it make you feel less? Did you get caught up in freeze or flight or fight type of feelings that like, you know, I don't fight it or I want to fight it. But when you took that action, what was going through your mind? How was that courage coming in a little bit, step by step, And then when you were able to achieve that thing, how did that triumph feel? How did that achievement feel that?

32:50 How did that overcoming the fear feel And remember the bad stories make us feel something real? Yes, real and raw and real. And it's okay. You may feel that your story is not worth telling. And here's what I can tell you. Every story is worth telling. I'm not talking about stories that may embarrass somebody else. No, I'm talking about stories of real life experiences. Remember, stories are meant to teach, Stories are meant to uplift. Stories are not meant to pull somebody down. You are telling stories for creating impact, for driving impact. Because I'll tell you that, coming from a bad chemistry background, our brain has a very different circuits. And there is a circuit in our brain to be compassionate to help others because I don't know about you. Whenever I help others, it makes me feel good.

34:07 Yes, So if I'm helping others, it's also for me. It's a win win situation. You're doing something for someone else and at the same token, you're doing something for yourself. It makes you feel good, and who doesn't want to feel good? So those are the little things you can do to get started in your story. Another way to write your stories. Think of a time when you experience this strong emotion where it could be the teacher told you something, or when your friend told you something and it just pinched you, it just pierced your heart and it filled your whole body.

34:50 And think about it. How could you weave that into a story. And here's what I'll tell you. This is where your narrative begins. Yes, that's where your narrative begins. So, yes, we have talked about a lot, given you a lot of food for thought, and I invite you to send me your stories just like you share your experiences with me. You are amazing, you are wonderful. You are destined to be more, do more, and impact more. So I highly encourage you to keep on pushing through life to moving beyond the limits because you have that potential. Yes, each and every one of us does that. As we are nearing the end of January, it's time to revisit those goals, It's time to revisit those resolutions. It's time to step into yourself pull that potential out and change the story that you tell yourself, chanting the story that you tell others, and you change the story of the actions that you take so that you can live the life you deserve. You can live the life you want, and you

36:22 can help others become more, do more, and impact more. And thank you for joining us. That's it for today. Thank you on for making the show possible. Take care and be well. Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host did Via Park, we hope you have learned more about how to start living the life you want. Each week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Diva, Park shares what happened to her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly with people across the globe. She not only can people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life they want. If you are ready to live the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www Dotwpark dot com and you can connect with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you joining us next week