April 8, 2025
The Quiet Power of Asking
What if your words could instantly change how others see themselves? In this episode of Beyond Confidence, Divya Parekh and Dr. Dianne Olvera explore how small language shifts can build trust, boost confidence, and turn everyday conversations into...
What if your words could instantly change how others see themselves? In this episode of Beyond Confidence, Divya Parekh and Dr. Dianne Olvera explore how small language shifts can build trust, boost confidence, and turn everyday conversations into powerful leadership tools. Packed with neuroscience-backed insights, this episode offers practical ways to empower others—at home, work, or school.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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WEBVTT
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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
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those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
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It's employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be
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directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W
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four WN Radio.
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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
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who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
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are living the life they want. You will learn how
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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
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at the expense of your personal or family life or
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vice versa. Learn more at WWWA. You don't divpork dot
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com and you can connect with div at contact at
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divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's
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your host, div Park.
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Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday morning and it's wonderful to
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be here. So I want to share with you that
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we had some beautiful rain yesterday and just the droplets.
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As I was looking out through the window today, the
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droplets were like, you know, one, hundreds and thousands of
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diamonds just shining on that tree and it was so powerful.
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So I want you to look for that diamond in
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your life, take that moment and ask yourself the question,
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where's my diamond? And today we are going to be
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talking about the power of questions and how you can
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bring that joy in communication and inner depth and the
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meaning in your life. So let's get the conversation started.
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And here's what I want to tell you is that
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if you've got our books, I really appreciate you, and
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if you have not, we would love for you to
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get a box because I promise you they will definitely
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impact your life.
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If you're looking.
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To influence somebody's life, or if you're looking to build
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your business and also the part of profits from it.
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Goes to keyvot dot org. So let's bring in our guest. So,
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how are you doing?
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I'm good? How are you?
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I'm doing good?
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So tell us do you recall a moment from your
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childhood or youth that impacted your life and you still
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remember to this day.
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Well, my youth was brought up. We were brought up
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in a very strict household, and so we weren't allowed
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to talk. And if we ask questions, I often got soap,
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a very wet bar of soap slid right behind my
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front teeth for making any comment or asking any questions.
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And if that didn't work, then I would be hit
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with a belt or wouldn't spoon or anything, any object
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that was going to change my attitude just from asking
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a question or asking why. But you know, I really
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worked for them. It was their wonderful way of disciplining. However,
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when I left home, I kept thinking to myself and
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meeting other friends and seeing their families, I kept thinking
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there must be a better way to communicate. And luckily
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I had some lovely friends whose parents were very kind
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to their children. So it gave me an opportunity to
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see that not all parents were as strict as mine.
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The bad thing is when I went out into the
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real world, I had those skills. I had no interpersonal skills.
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I mean I was I could talk, and I could
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speak with people. But let me give you an example.
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When I was a stewardess. It was one of my
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ways of getting out of the house. And we were
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going to the Indian Necklace five hundred and we were
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rushing and this we were still using knives and forks
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that were metal. And as I was running down the
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aisle trying to finish my service, I knocked them mans
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to that with my hir My hip hit the fork,
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the fork hit his tooth and I knocked it out.
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So as I was going to the back of the
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plane to pick up more trays, the man held out
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his hand and he showed me his tooth. I asked
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my flying partner what to do. She didn't know, So
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what did I do? I ran to the cockpit. This
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was a time when we still had the door that
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wasn't locked. I ran to the cockpit, flung the door open.
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Here we were on descent into the airport and I said,
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I just knocked this man's tooth. Thought, you can't land
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the plane yet. And he said, that's all right, honey,
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don't worry. So I went back collected the trays. We
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landed the airplane. Nobody died, and after everyone got off,
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there was an ambulance at the bottom of the stairs
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and he said, get in. It was just me. I mean,
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there are the other crew members. It was just a captain,
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the co pilot and me. I got in and I
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was I was just petrified. Imagine with my childhood, I
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was expecting somebody to put me in jail or something.
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And he had a little twinkle in his eye and
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he said, you know, I radio down and said I
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have the only stewardess in the world that has such
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hips that she knocks men's teethelt. So they gave us
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a ride and the Goodyear blimp. So we went up
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in the Goodyear Blimp. Everything was fine. Everyone was on
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the airplane coming to come back to New York and
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we pulled up in an ambulance again and I said, well,
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you won't say anything, so oh yeah. I got halfway
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through the cabin and what did he say, Ladies and gentlemen,
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Please be careful with this young lady because she can
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knock your teeth out with her hips. I was just
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a young child. I was young. I ran to the
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back of the airplane, stayed in the galley, and I
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didn't dare make eye contact with anyone. So that was
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my route to how was I going to change my
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life to learn how to be a real person in
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the real world. So that was that's impulsive speech. And
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I had to learn how to how to change my life.
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So you know, well, I think you know the rest
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of it. I I married someone, went to Argentina and
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that didn't work out. But I stayed in Argentina because
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we had a son. And I met a man from
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the United States who was a diplomat, and I became
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a diplomat, and I had to learn how to use
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my eyes, my language, and my cleverness to be able
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to attain the information that was required of me to
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do a good job in my work.
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So you mentioned that, like, you know, you became a diplomat.
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So which country did you go to?
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Us?
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The diplomat that was even more into it was Argentina
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right at the time when it was called the dirty war,
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because they were if you did not agree or you
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were saying things against the government, they did that a
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lot with the newspaper, right, people that were working for
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the newspaper, they would kill you, I mean literally write
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out kill you. So some of my friends actually sent
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and and and college students. I mean if they said
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anything against the that country, they they were killed. So
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a lot of my friends sent their children to England
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and to get their education because they feared that they
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would definitely be dead. So yeah, so it was very difficult.
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And there again, when I met the president before I
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had my clearance, he was so sweet. I remember coming
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back and saying to my husband, what a fun guy that, Oh,
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he had such a wonderful time. And my husband couldn't
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tell me anything until I got my clearance, and then
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he told me exactly what was happening.
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Mmm.
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I was devastated. And that that just tells you that
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the power of language, the power of the lance, how
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you use your eyes, how you use your words, can
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completely turn people around one way or the other.
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Absolutely, So tell us about the time, like, especially in
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such difficult times that you couldn't speak anything, how did
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you do your job as a diplomat?
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Very clearly. That's that's when I put in my book.
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You know, when I got back from this from Argentina.
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I did twelve years of graduate school just to figure
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out how do we use our language. You know, our
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eyes are the electrical system of our body. We can
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make an impact by keeping our eyes down, listening and
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being very aware of the social nuances that are transpiring
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between us that we really don't talk about or even
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read about. But when I want to make my point,
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I look straight at you and I said, it impacts.
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When I talked to graduate school, I did that just
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one evening and I said to one of the men,
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tell me more, and he profusely just apologized for answering
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a question. And so I put it out to a
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Hope class and I said, isn't it interesting how my
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interest in learning more from this young man caused Tim
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to completely break down.
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Yeah, so it's You're absolutely right that people at different
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levels and different cultures have different ways of communicating. You know,
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what we may be looking at, like, okay, direct that
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contact is seen as a sign of confidence in the US,
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it may be different in some other country that it
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may be a sign of disrespect. So after your journey
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in Argentina, what other I know you've done research? So
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tell our audience about that journey, and like, what were
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the learnings from your cultural differences?
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Yes, well, from Argentina, I went to Mexico and that
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was a time when that country was having severe financial issues,
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and so we were we were again, we were diplomats,
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and we had to be very careful. Even riding in
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a motorcate you could have been killed.
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And so.
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We were approached on many sides by people who were
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desiring to leave the country and come to the United States.
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But they didn't have the background that one would can
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say consider pristine, and so it became very dangerous to
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work with people that put you in very uncomfortable situations.
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And how did you handle that?
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Again, you opened your awareness. So it's almost it is
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it's like becoming a diagnostician. And people will say, but
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if I haven't had all of your years of experience
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in education and testing, how can I be a diagnostician?
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But tim, you know yourself. We are all diagnosticians. You
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walk into a room, what are we doing. We're looking
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at the people, We're looking at what they're wearing, We're
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looking at how they're speaking. That we're taking in all
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of the awareness that our body is giving us. What
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happens in this country, in the United States, is that
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we're so rushed for time that we often overlook the
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nuances between our personalities, and that often us is great
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strife even in marriages and in relationships.
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In the workplace, you hit the nail on the head
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that we are so rushed. For example, like you know,
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so many of my plans will come and tell me, oh,
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you know, we if we take more time to do
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the work, like you know, we are questioned like, oh,
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why did you take two hours to do this job?
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This could have been done in an hour. So there
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is that culture not in all the corporations. I have
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seen in some of the corporations where they do bring
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in that work life harmony.
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So during these.
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Times, and especially like you know, so many people are
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working remotely, how can people use their awareness utilize the
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unique talents of others?
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Uh? The first after we open our way fareness, I
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look for some basic differences. One is specialists versus a generalist.
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If we talk too much and give too many details,
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a generalist only wants the bottom line. Otherwise you start
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to see them drifting. And that's one cue that I have.
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He's a generalist or she's a generalist. And then we
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have the other who wants to expand on all of
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the commentary, or if you give them, you ask them
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to do something. Please bring mister Smith's file in the
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next ten minutes. Then you start getting the details. Mister Smith,
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do you want his wife also? Do you want to
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file on your desk or on her desk? You know
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it goes detailed, detailed detail detail. Now, in a workplace,
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it can be very frustrating to put a generalist with
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a specialist because they will feel like one person is
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not giving enough information where the other feels that they're
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over doing it. But if you have a big project,
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you can. And the other thing that we do is
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we tell them. You tell them I love the way
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you give me a wonderful overview that sets the picture,
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that sets the stage. Ah, now he becomes valuable or
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she becomes valuable. Then to the specialist, I say, but
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you love details. And then of course everybody in the
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room rolls their eyes, but we bring out the happy
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