WEBVTT
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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
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those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio.
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It's employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be
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directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W
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four WN Radio.
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This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
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Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
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you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
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who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
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are living the life they want. You will learn how
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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
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at the expense of your personal or family life or
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vice versa. Learn more at WWWA. You don't divpork dot
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com and you can connect with div at contact at
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divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's
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your host, div Park.
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Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday morning and it's wonderful to
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be here. So I want to share with you that
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we had some beautiful rain yesterday and just the droplets.
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As I was looking out through the window today, the
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droplets were like, you know, one, hundreds and thousands of
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diamonds just shining on that tree and it was so powerful.
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So I want you to look for that diamond in
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your life, take that moment and ask yourself the question,
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where's my diamond? And today we are going to be
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talking about the power of questions and how you can
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bring that joy in communication and inner depth and the
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meaning in your life. So let's get the conversation started.
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And here's what I want to tell you is that
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if you've got our books, I really appreciate you, and
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if you have not, we would love for you to
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get a box because I promise you they will definitely
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impact your life.
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If you're looking.
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To influence somebody's life, or if you're looking to build
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your business and also the part of profits from it.
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Goes to keyvot dot org. So let's bring in our guest. So,
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how are you doing?
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I'm good? How are you?
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I'm doing good?
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So tell us do you recall a moment from your
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childhood or youth that impacted your life and you still
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remember to this day.
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Well, my youth was brought up. We were brought up
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in a very strict household, and so we weren't allowed
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to talk. And if we ask questions, I often got soap,
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a very wet bar of soap slid right behind my
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front teeth for making any comment or asking any questions.
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And if that didn't work, then I would be hit
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with a belt or wouldn't spoon or anything, any object
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that was going to change my attitude just from asking
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a question or asking why. But you know, I really
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worked for them. It was their wonderful way of disciplining. However,
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when I left home, I kept thinking to myself and
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meeting other friends and seeing their families, I kept thinking
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there must be a better way to communicate. And luckily
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I had some lovely friends whose parents were very kind
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to their children. So it gave me an opportunity to
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see that not all parents were as strict as mine.
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The bad thing is when I went out into the
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real world, I had those skills. I had no interpersonal skills.
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I mean I was I could talk, and I could
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speak with people. But let me give you an example.
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When I was a stewardess. It was one of my
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ways of getting out of the house. And we were
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going to the Indian Necklace five hundred and we were
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rushing and this we were still using knives and forks
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that were metal. And as I was running down the
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aisle trying to finish my service, I knocked them mans
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to that with my hir My hip hit the fork,
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the fork hit his tooth and I knocked it out.
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So as I was going to the back of the
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plane to pick up more trays, the man held out
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his hand and he showed me his tooth. I asked
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my flying partner what to do. She didn't know, So
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what did I do? I ran to the cockpit. This
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was a time when we still had the door that
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wasn't locked. I ran to the cockpit, flung the door open.
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Here we were on descent into the airport and I said,
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I just knocked this man's tooth. Thought, you can't land
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the plane yet. And he said, that's all right, honey,
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don't worry. So I went back collected the trays. We
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landed the airplane. Nobody died, and after everyone got off,
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there was an ambulance at the bottom of the stairs
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and he said, get in. It was just me. I mean,
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there are the other crew members. It was just a captain,
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the co pilot and me. I got in and I
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was I was just petrified. Imagine with my childhood, I
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was expecting somebody to put me in jail or something.
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And he had a little twinkle in his eye and
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he said, you know, I radio down and said I
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have the only stewardess in the world that has such
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hips that she knocks men's teethelt. So they gave us
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a ride and the Goodyear blimp. So we went up
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in the Goodyear Blimp. Everything was fine. Everyone was on
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the airplane coming to come back to New York and
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we pulled up in an ambulance again and I said, well,
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you won't say anything, so oh yeah. I got halfway
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through the cabin and what did he say, Ladies and gentlemen,
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Please be careful with this young lady because she can
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knock your teeth out with her hips. I was just
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a young child. I was young. I ran to the
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back of the airplane, stayed in the galley, and I
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didn't dare make eye contact with anyone. So that was
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my route to how was I going to change my
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life to learn how to be a real person in
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the real world. So that was that's impulsive speech. And
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I had to learn how to how to change my life.
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So you know, well, I think you know the rest
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of it. I I married someone, went to Argentina and
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that didn't work out. But I stayed in Argentina because
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we had a son. And I met a man from
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the United States who was a diplomat, and I became
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a diplomat, and I had to learn how to use
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my eyes, my language, and my cleverness to be able
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to attain the information that was required of me to
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do a good job in my work.
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So you mentioned that, like, you know, you became a diplomat.
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So which country did you go to?
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Us?
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The diplomat that was even more into it was Argentina
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right at the time when it was called the dirty war,
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because they were if you did not agree or you
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were saying things against the government, they did that a
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lot with the newspaper, right, people that were working for
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the newspaper, they would kill you, I mean literally write
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out kill you. So some of my friends actually sent
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and and and college students. I mean if they said
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anything against the that country, they they were killed. So
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a lot of my friends sent their children to England
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and to get their education because they feared that they
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would definitely be dead. So yeah, so it was very difficult.
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And there again, when I met the president before I
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had my clearance, he was so sweet. I remember coming
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back and saying to my husband, what a fun guy that, Oh,
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he had such a wonderful time. And my husband couldn't
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tell me anything until I got my clearance, and then
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he told me exactly what was happening.
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Mmm.
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I was devastated. And that that just tells you that
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the power of language, the power of the lance, how
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you use your eyes, how you use your words, can
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completely turn people around one way or the other.
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Absolutely, So tell us about the time, like, especially in
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such difficult times that you couldn't speak anything, how did
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you do your job as a diplomat?
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Very clearly. That's that's when I put in my book.
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You know, when I got back from this from Argentina.
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I did twelve years of graduate school just to figure
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out how do we use our language. You know, our
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eyes are the electrical system of our body. We can
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make an impact by keeping our eyes down, listening and
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being very aware of the social nuances that are transpiring
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between us that we really don't talk about or even
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read about. But when I want to make my point,
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I look straight at you and I said, it impacts.
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When I talked to graduate school, I did that just
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one evening and I said to one of the men,
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tell me more, and he profusely just apologized for answering
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a question. And so I put it out to a
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Hope class and I said, isn't it interesting how my
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interest in learning more from this young man caused Tim
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to completely break down.
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Yeah, so it's You're absolutely right that people at different
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levels and different cultures have different ways of communicating. You know,
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what we may be looking at, like, okay, direct that
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contact is seen as a sign of confidence in the US,
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it may be different in some other country that it
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may be a sign of disrespect. So after your journey
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in Argentina, what other I know you've done research? So
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tell our audience about that journey, and like, what were
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the learnings from your cultural differences?
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Yes, well, from Argentina, I went to Mexico and that
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was a time when that country was having severe financial issues,
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and so we were we were again, we were diplomats,
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and we had to be very careful. Even riding in
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a motorcate you could have been killed.
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And so.
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We were approached on many sides by people who were
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desiring to leave the country and come to the United States.
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But they didn't have the background that one would can
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say consider pristine, and so it became very dangerous to
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work with people that put you in very uncomfortable situations.
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And how did you handle that?
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Again, you opened your awareness. So it's almost it is
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it's like becoming a diagnostician. And people will say, but
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if I haven't had all of your years of experience
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in education and testing, how can I be a diagnostician?
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But tim, you know yourself. We are all diagnosticians. You
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walk into a room, what are we doing. We're looking
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at the people, We're looking at what they're wearing, We're
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looking at how they're speaking. That we're taking in all
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of the awareness that our body is giving us. What
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happens in this country, in the United States, is that
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we're so rushed for time that we often overlook the
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nuances between our personalities, and that often us is great
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strife even in marriages and in relationships.
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In the workplace, you hit the nail on the head
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that we are so rushed. For example, like you know,
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so many of my plans will come and tell me, oh,
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you know, we if we take more time to do
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the work, like you know, we are questioned like, oh,
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why did you take two hours to do this job?
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This could have been done in an hour. So there
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is that culture not in all the corporations. I have
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seen in some of the corporations where they do bring
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in that work life harmony.
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So during these.
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Times, and especially like you know, so many people are
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working remotely, how can people use their awareness utilize the
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unique talents of others?
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Uh? The first after we open our way fareness, I
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look for some basic differences. One is specialists versus a generalist.
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If we talk too much and give too many details,
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a generalist only wants the bottom line. Otherwise you start
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to see them drifting. And that's one cue that I have.
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He's a generalist or she's a generalist. And then we
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have the other who wants to expand on all of
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the commentary, or if you give them, you ask them
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to do something. Please bring mister Smith's file in the
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next ten minutes. Then you start getting the details. Mister Smith,
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do you want his wife also? Do you want to
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file on your desk or on her desk? You know
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it goes detailed, detailed detail detail. Now, in a workplace,
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it can be very frustrating to put a generalist with
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a specialist because they will feel like one person is
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not giving enough information where the other feels that they're
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over doing it. But if you have a big project,
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you can. And the other thing that we do is
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we tell them. You tell them I love the way
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you give me a wonderful overview that sets the picture,
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that sets the stage. Ah, now he becomes valuable or
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she becomes valuable. Then to the specialist, I say, but
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you love details. And then of course everybody in the
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room rolls their eyes, but we bring out the happy
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and the good in them. That is wonderful. You now