Dec. 11, 2024

Turning Rejection Into Opportunity

Show Notes
Transcript

What if every "No" brought you closer to success? In this episode, Divya Parekh and Andrea Waltz explore the "Go for No!" mindset, turning rejection into a tool for growth. Learn to reframe failure, embrace challenges, and transform setbacks into leadership opportunities. Packed with tips and insights, this episode will inspire you to face rejection and fuel your success. Don’t miss it!

Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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This is Beyond Confidence with your host ZVA Park. Do

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you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you

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want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,

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and financial goals? Well? Coming up on zva Parks Beyond Confidence,

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you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers

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who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and

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are living the life they want. You will learn how

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relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.

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Moving your career business forward does not have to happen

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at the expense of your personal or family life or

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vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com

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and you can connect with TV ads contact eds Gvpark

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dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host,

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div Park.

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Good morning, listeners.

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It's a little cloudy day, but you know, it's always

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nice to have rain. So many times we complain about rains,

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but it's really important because rain is what gets our

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plans going and drinking water and all of that. So

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good morning to everyone. And we are in the holiday

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season and the final stretch, so to all of my listeners,

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a wonderful holiday season.

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Just kind of want to share that with you.

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And for those of you who did get our books,

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we are very thankful to you, and if you have not,

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we invite you to get our books because it helps

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three ways.

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It helps our.

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Keewa entrepreneurs who we are helping out partially from the

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proceeds then come in excuse me, and it helps you,

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and it helps us because we are sharing the message

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and improving lives all around.

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So let's bring in our guest. Hi, Di vieh, Hi Andrea,

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how are you good.

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It's great to be with you.

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Oh, great to have you. So tell us do you

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recall a moment or a person from you? You the

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childhood that left a positive mark on you.

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Oh my gosh. Yeah, so many. But I think probably

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the person who stands out the most is a friend

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of mine named Nicole. She was a gymnast and she

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we spent many weekends together. She was one of my

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very good friends and we just hung out and did

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crazy things and played together. But she was a almost turned professional,

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almost went to the Olympics, and she just worked really

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really hard, and it was just very inspiring to watch

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her at such a young age. I had nothing like that, Like,

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I wasn't gifted in any way, So it was really

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really cool watching her excel. And it's left a mark

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on me because I always wanted to have that and

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I finally found that in the business that I'm in now.

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Didn't have it back when I was a kid growing up.

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So you said it almost and yet it impressed you

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so because you don't want to touch a point over there,

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because so many times people just see the results and

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don't see the process.

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So what was it about her that left an impression

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on you?

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She practiced all the time. They brought I remember they

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brought her parents bought a actual balance beam, like a

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real life like Olympic style full length. I don't know,

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it was probably a couple feet high balance beam and

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she just she practiced relentlessly. They lived on the beach,

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so we would go to the beach a lot, and

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she would do her routines on the sand, backhand springs

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and all the flips and everything. It was just really cool.

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She was very, very driven.

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Definitely, have you stayed in touch with her?

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I have.

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We're friends all these years later.

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Yep.

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That's amazing. So tell us about your life, you know,

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how did your life, Johnny move? You know, you definitely

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were impressed by her, and what for your interest as

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you were growing up?

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Well, I had kind of a I think everybody finds

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their childhood interesting because of course it's about them, and

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some people have like the typical idyllic childhood and some

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people have more chaotic, you know, moved around a lot.

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I was more in that category. In fact, Nicole's family

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was kind of a stabilizing force in my life. Actually,

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my father was in the military, in the Air Force,

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and so he moved around and I would visit him

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on holidays and in the summer, but most of the

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time I lived with my mom and we had a

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very chaotic environment because my stepfather was let's just say

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he was a little bit antisocial in a way of

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to say that he didn't like playing by the rules

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and following the law. So we were evicted a lot,

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moved a lot. He was always coming up with crazy

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schemes and never held down a normal job. So my

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growing up was very uncertain and unstable. And at one point,

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finally it all came to a head and he he

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did the wrong things with the wrong people and was

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thrown into prison. So my mom and I were basically

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on the street. And if it weren't for the fact

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that she was in a recovery program and she got

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help from somebody and we were able to move in

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with that person, did we just literally not end up

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on the street. And Yeah, So that I guess certainly

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shaped me. And but all that said, I grew all

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of that happened in a very affluent community and a

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very privileged part of the world. I grew up in

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southern California. So even with all of that going on,

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still I was not I wasn't living in the dirt

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like these are not these are like still first world problems.

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Even at this point I decided that I was going

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to get a Bachelor of Science in criminal justice. I

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wanted to catch bad guys, probably some little thing that

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happened growing up. And when I graduated from college there

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were no jobs in criminal justice. There was I wanted

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to be a crime scene investigator before the TV show

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became popular. There were no jobs that paid. I could

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be an intern and work for free, and I was

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not interested in that. So in the meantime, I was

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working in the corporate world. I was a salesperson for

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Lens Crafters, and they promoted me into management and I

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got into training people, which I loved, and I met

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my now husband there and we got to know each other.

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We had all of the same business philosophies, philosophies about

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sales and leadership and customer service. And eventually he says

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to me, do you want to write a book with me?

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Which I thought was such a ridiculous thing to ask

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because I figured that would never happen, and so I thought, well,

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there's no harm in saying yes. So I said sure,

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let's write a book, thinking he was a lunatic, and

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we did work on this book. We ended up self

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publishing it. We eventually quit our jobs we eventually launched

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a company doing speaking and training, and fundamentally we have

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been doing that thing ever since. So that's been the

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last twenty five years. So i'll just fast forward to today.

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Twenty five years.

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So you had a pretty rough life and doesn't matter

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what the surroundings are for a child, love and stability

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and security or paramount. Did it leave any scars on you?

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Yeah, I am completely open to talking about it, and

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I think more than more it probably did. Let's just

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put it this way. I really really value I've got

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a particular trigger when it comes to being able to flee.

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Let's put it that way, Like it's really important to

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me to have a car. Like at one point we

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also we didn't have a house, and we really didn't

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have a car, and so I determined, like, no matter

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what happens to me, I'm always going to have a

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car that I can like live in. I don't know

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it's it's I guess there's like some underlying trauma. But

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the other thing that it gave me, though, is I'm

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really good with chaos and uncertainty. Like I just grew

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up with that for so long that as an entrepreneur,

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you really have to embrace uncertainty and the fact that

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every morning you get up and you don't know are

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you going to get a yesterday, are you going to

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get a know today? Will business be good? Will it

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be bad? And you learn to kind of deal with it,

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like airplane turbulence. I give the analogy of when you

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get on an airplane and it's turbulent. At some point

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you just kind of have to relax and settle in

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knowing that that turbulence is kind of going to be there,

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even just a little bit, even just underlying things, and

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you just get used to it. That's how it is.

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And so I feel like, although there is probably some

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lasting negativity from those experiences when I was young, I

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think I got just as much, if not more, positives

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out of it.

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That's fantastic.

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It sounds like you're a positive person and you turned

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it around and basically you took it as a learning

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lesson and moved beyond it as long.

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As you hit your car.

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That's right.

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So tell me a little.

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Bit more about like your journey into the sales, Like

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what were some of the lessons that you learned in sales,

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Because as an entrepreneur, you know you hear a lot

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of notes, and as a sales rep, you have to

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be in that like Okay, got to go for no,

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Go for no, go for no.

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So tell us a little bit about that piece of

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your life.

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So what made me fall in love with the idea

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of hearing no was a story that Richard told me

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when we first met, and it's kind of the central

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story and I've learned to apply this lesson in my

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own life. And the story goes that he was working

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for a menswear company selling suits for a living. He

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was failing miserably. He thought that maybe if the district man,

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Harold was gonna he was scheduled to come visit the store,

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and if Harold could see him sell that maybe they

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would give him time to improve his sales and he

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wouldn't get fired. So Harold shows up one day, Richard

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is there. He ends up having this great sale in

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front of Harold. A customer walks in and announces he

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wants to buy an entire wardrobe of clothing. Richard shows

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him all of this clothing. The man says yes to

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everything that he lays in front of him. The customer

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walks out after buying, and Richard is waiting for Harold

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to congratulate him on this fabulous sale, and finally Harold

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asks him a question and says, Richard, out of curiosity,

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what did that customer say no to? And Richard is like, Harold,

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what are you talking about? What do you mean? What

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did that customer say no to? I had a great sale.

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That customer bought everything I laid in front of him.

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And then Harold asked him the really important question, which was, then,

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how did you know he was done? Because he never

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said no to anything? And the truth, the truth was

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that Richard was selling from his own wallet. He made

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the decision of when that customer was done. That customer

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hit about eleven hundred dollars. That was a big sale

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back in the day, probably the equivalent of spending like

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five thousand in today's dollars drunk right exactly exactly, and

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even further, even further than that, because that was this

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had happened to Richard even way before we had met.

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So he has this great sale. He gets asked this question,

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and then Harold tells Richard he said, I watched you sell.

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You're not half bad, but your fear of the word

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no is going to kill you. I think if you

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could just learn to get over that you could be

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one of the great ones. And Richard is he when

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he tells the story, he always says that he went

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home that night two letters from greatness and the letters

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were no O, so divyo. When he told me this story,

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and it was we were just standing on the sales

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floor at the company that we worked in, and I

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had this total epiphany because I actually thought I was

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really good in sales. I was really good with customers.

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I'm a pretty good communicator. And I had to get

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honest with myself because I realized in that moment that

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I was a people pleaser and that I didn't like

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to hear the word no. That I wanted. I wanted

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to sell, but I wanted to do it in such

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a way where I got yes and I wouldn't have

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to hear no. So I avoided asking people any question

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where I thought maybe there was a chance that they

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would say no, because I didn't want to hear it.

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And so I learned to in that moment that that

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was the moment I learned to gopher no, which was

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just you need to have the courage to ask, and

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so I applied it there at my job and eventually

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when we quit our corporate jobs and launched our own business,

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I had to get really good at asking. I had

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no idea what I was doing, and I was calling

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on large companies because that's who we decided we wanted

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to work with. We wanted to do speak speaking and

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workshops and training for large companies. So I would call

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these companies and I would try to find out who

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the decision maker was. I would get a note of

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that I would try to I would get their mailing

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and information so I could send a package. I would

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follow up with a phone call. And so I really

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learned that you have to you have to be willing

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to hear no, you have to put yourself in a

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position to hear no, and that you have to do

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it scared. You can't wait for the fear to go away.

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I had so many phone calls where my hands were sweaty,

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my voice was shaking. I felt so uncomfortable. But this

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was the only way to do it. And back then

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we didn't even have social media, so there was no

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like I think, I'll just you know, maybe email them.

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Finding email addresses was impossible and there was no LinkedIn.

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So this was how it had to happen, and I

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fought my way through it, scared, but still did it.

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And that was I think the big lesson for me

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is you can't wait out fear.

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Mm hmm, definitely, and that's really the way to go on.

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Actually, if you kind of think about it, when the

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social media wasn't there, it was easier, Yes you had

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you could mail it and people would open up. Now

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people are skeptical, oh gosh, like you know what is

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in this package and all that, and it's still a

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good way to go about it. So there's so many people,

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especially people who may be wanting to transition out of

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the corporate world, people wanting to look for new jobs,

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or even entrepreneur's trying to get in touch with the

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decision makers. What are some of the ways that they

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could go about to not only connect with people and

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creating those possibilities from the stories, how do you know

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what did they say no to?

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Yeah? So well, I think first off, it's really important

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that you have clarity on the problem that you're solving

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and who you solve it for. And we've written a

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lot of books as well, and one of the things

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that we teach people when you're writing a book is

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same thing. It's the same thing whenever you're creating something,

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whenever you're selling a product, you always have to know, like,

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who are you writing the book for? Right who's your

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ideal reader You've got to write you have to write

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the book for that person. So if you're reaching out

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to somebody on social media, you've got to have the

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right message, or if you're if you're making a telephone call,

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you want to make sure that you're talking to the

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right person. In fact, I was I coached a person,

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a young guy, a couple of weeks ago, and he

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was making calls and he would get them on the

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phone and he would just start in with his pitch,

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and I said, you first need to determine are you

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talking to the right person. You don't even know if

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you're talking to the buyer. You might be talking to

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somebody who has nothing to do with anything. And so

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the first go for no question you need to ask

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is like are you the person that handles this thing this?

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Do you do you make the decisions for the company

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on this issue? Or are you the right person?

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And that's a really great point. And here's the thing.

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There's so many gatekeepers that you can get in touch

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with the decision makers that easily, So what's your solution

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for that?

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Yeah?

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And sometimes you can't, and so you need to again

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go for no to get help from the person you're

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talking to and be willing to ask them, how can

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I get this offer, how can I get in touch

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with or what value can I provide this person where

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I could get to the decision maker. So in that case,

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you start offering value and start building rapport with that gatekeeper.

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I mean, that gatekeeper becomes really important, right, They're not

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just this person that you're trying to blow through and

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push past. So I'm glad that you asked that question.

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I think in my situation, I was kind of lucky

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because the gatekeepers really weren't working that hard to gatekeep

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way back way back then. Now today they certainly do.

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And so so kind of going back, you've got to

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make sure that you're talking to the right person, and

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then you want to make sure that you're that you

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have the right message. Sometimes, Divya, a lot of times

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the truth is it's timing. Timing is is everything I

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think in the market. I mean, look at anything that's

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sold or advertised. You drive down the street, you see it.

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You see an ad for weight loss, or you see

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an ad for some kind of surgical procedure, and you

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see it every day over and over, and then finally

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one day you decide, you know, I really want to

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go to one of these clinics where I can lose weight,

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or I want to have this procedure done. Or if

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somebody in your family passes away, there was an ad

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for a funeral home. You you drove past it a

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million times, and now suddenly it's on your radar screen

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because it's something that you're dealing with than something that

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you're thinking about. So a lot of sales comes down

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to timing and that comes down to luck. And so

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from the standpoint of Gopher, No, it's be in the

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place that the person when they're ready to buy. You're

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there occupying real estate in their mind. So that requires

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that you not only have a presence out in the marketplace,

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So that's more marketing. Be there when they're ready, But

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did you reach out and are you doing that outbound

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outreach to say hey, I'm here and to let people

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know you exist. So it's really a two way street

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sales and marketing.

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Absolutely.

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So basically what I'm hearing is what you're sharing is

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that create a market presence where you have your social

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proof and credibility in authority, where people are looking at like, yep,

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you are the prefer and you have the preferred choice

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for your potential customer. Not only that, but be on

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the radar of your potential customer. So there's something that

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they talk about the touch points. So tell us a

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little about you mentioned that it's important to be there

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at the right time. How can someone know what's the

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right time?

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And that's the tricky part. You don't, but you can ask.

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And this is the heart of the gopher No philosophy,

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which is which really comes down to just communication, and

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it's having the courage to ask sometimes the tough questions.

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Sometimes we don't want to hear no from somebody, right,

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so we kind of dance around the tough questions and

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would rather not know the answer and just pretend like

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this is a good prospect or this is a good

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person for our product or service. So I highly recommend

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that people ask the tough question. But if it's just

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a timing issue, then you've got to be You've got

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to dig, you've got to discover, you've got to find

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out like, are they in the market for this product?

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If they were in the market for it, when, when

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might they be making a decision, When might they be

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doing research? When is a good time to follow up?

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All of these are our simple questions, but give you

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a lot of data so that you can approach your

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sales and marketing in more more of a scientific way

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rather than just ad hoc. But a lot of it

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is trial and error. A lot of it is like

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for me, a lot of what we do is marketing

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to companies who have an annual conference. Well, in many

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cases I don't know when that annual conference is. So

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part of the research is just to find out when

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is that annual conference? Do they have an annual conference?

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And then that will set me up for success going forward.

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Turning Rejection Into Opportunity

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