Champion Mindset: Focusing and Fueling Your Inner Winner

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The topics and opinions expressed on the
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questions or common should be directed to
those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W four WN Radio. This is
Beyond Confidence with your host w park.

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Do you want to live a more
fulfilling life? Do you want to live

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your legacy and achieve your personal,
professional, and financial goals? Well?

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Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders,

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entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped
into discomfort, shattered their status quo,

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and are living the life they want. You will learn how relationships are the

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key to achieving your aspirations and financial
goals. Moving your career business forward does

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not have to happen at the expense
of your personal or family life or vice

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versa. Learn more at WWWA.
You don't divpark dot com and you can

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connect with div at contact at divpark
dot com. This is beyond confidence and

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now here's your host, div Park. Good morning, it's still the morning

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and I'm here with you, so
of course at the time, so I

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want to share with you the kindest
stories that are just going on. It's

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catching up and thank you for sharing
your kind of stories with us. So

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today I'm going to highlight James.
So, James, thank you for sending

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us your story. So what jeamshid
that what had happened was that during Thanksgiving

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they had a lot of food.
And what he did was he connected with

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his friend who helps people homeless people, and he asked them that okay,

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video set up your weekly meetings.
And what they did was they had pot

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luck dinner. Everybody had brought in
something different and at the same time,

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everyone created a small box of the
dish so that it could be shared with

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people who do not have the fortune
of even having food on the table.

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And then what they did was they
created a big Gigan take bag with all

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the different treads and went ahead and
shed So thank you, James, to

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you and to your family for doing
this and keeping the kind of circle going,

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and I want to thank each and
every one of you who have got

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our books. So one of the
things that I'm doing is I'm auctioning off

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my books I've partnered with. I'm
just donating my books with one of my

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friends, and the donations go to
different and kids I think, So I'm

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not sure exactly, like you know, where the money will be dispersed,

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but it is for the benefit of
the kids. So I'm donating a lot

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of my books for that. And
I'm very delighted to share that my books

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have a high number of people auctioning
on it, So that tells you these

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are people who don't know anything about
me, and yet the books are getting

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attention. So if you've not got
your copy, get a copy of either

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Entrepreneur's Garden or Expert to Influencer,
and I guarantee you you will find value

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there. Not only that, but
part of the profits will go to keep

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what our org helping entrepreneurs across the
globe. So let's keep this kindness going,

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and let's bring our guest, Malcolm
Veronica. How are you doing good?

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Thank you glad to be here.
Oh it's great to have you.

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So tell us do you recall a
moment or a person on an event that

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happened in your childhood that you remember
it even today and say, hmmm,

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it was wonderful or whatever left the
mark on you. Well, I have

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to say this is kind of like
a kind of a bittersweet moment in terms

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of looking back on my childhood.
But I grew up and when I was

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about five years old, my father, who was a weekend golfer, placed

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a putter in my hand, and
so I began to play the game of

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golf. Actually began to put for
nine years before I actually took up the

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whole game. And I was so
excited to learn golf and to play golf

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with my dad. And I grew
up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and so

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it was snowing, and I think
it was ja and I was like,

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Daddy, Daddy, let's go play
golf. And I convinced my father to

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get in the car and drive forty
five minutes to Latrow Belk's Golf Club,

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which is which the home of Arnold
Palmer Latroe, Pennsylvania. And we went

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out and played nine holes and there
were patches of snow all over the place.

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And this was before the age of
fluorescent golf balls, and so we

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were just kind of hacking it all
the way around, and I didn't really

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care how well I was playing.
I was just playing golf with my dad

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for the very first time, and
I couldn't wait until I could play golf

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again with my dad. But unfortunately
I never had that chance because shortly thereafter

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he came down with an unexpected bout
with cancer and died nine months later.

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Oh so, you know, I
it was it was that moment of being

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out on the course with my daddy
and I give up all the trophies I've

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ever want in my life just to
play golf with my dad again. And

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so it was also the most devastating
kind of situation, because you know,

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losing your father at fifteen was a
very difficult situation. But it also opened

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up for me the understanding that God
had still had a bigger plan for my

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life. And why I shared that
moment was because after my father died,

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it was like there were these angels
that came to help me that I didn't

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even pursue. Like one day I
got a call from my father's business associate,

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Hermann Feinberg, and he had offered
to pay for my golf lessons.

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Oh wow, then I can definitely
see how this was such a bittersweet moment.

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Yeah, that, yes, you
lost your father. It is so

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devastating, and yet you know when
you shared how you played with him,

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how you pushed him to go,
and it's almost like that beautiful memory captured

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in time that you have that you
had that piece and you have that memory

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to hold on to and imagine like, you know, if you hadn't even

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had that one chance, right and
that as you're talking about angels, So

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share with us, like how did
that unfold for you? Well, it's

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interesting because you know, when you
have a gift and you're out pursuing that

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gift, it's it's and others see
it. It's almost like there's a drawing

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in for that to continue to be
developed. And so mister Feinberg paid for

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my golf lessons, and then I
some lady told me about a special membership

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at a private club that was offering
junior members memberships for fifteen dollars a month

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if you you know, like qualified. And so they offered me this membership

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for fifteen dollars a month, and
then some of the ladies of that club

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totally unbeknounced to me, entered me
into a scholarship for the Women's Western Golf

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Foundation, and so I ended up
getting this scholarship. I never really applied

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for it. They did it on
my behalf, and the athletic director from

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Duke University, who I didn't even
know what Duke was at the time,

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found out about me through this scholarship
fund that these women that I didn't know

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had heard me into. And so
one day I get a call. And

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at the time, I was working
at Oakland Country Club as a teenager,

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and again that was also something that
just opened up to me, and I

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kind of liked this guy that was
working there. His name was Bob,

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and Bob was playing the Australian Golf
Tour and he had called me up and

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he was like, hello, this
is the golf coach from Georgia Tech,

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and I really thought it was and
it was my friend Bob, and I

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was like, cut it out.
So the very week I get a call

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from this man who said, hello, this is Carl James, the athletic

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director from Duke, and I was
like, Bob, cut it out,

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and it really was the athletic director
from Duke. He called me four times

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and I turned him down. I
didn't really even know what Duke was.

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I thought it was short for Duque
University, but I said, no,

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I'm not. My father passed away
recently. I don't want to leave my

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mother home alone. And I said, he said, look, let me

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just send you an application. And
I said, well, I'm graduating early

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from high school. I'm going to
Florida with my cousin for vacation. I'll

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stop and visit the school on my
way home. And I did that,

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and then I realized what a fool
I was to refuse that first phone call.

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So I ended up going to Duke
University on a you know, a

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full scholarship. And it was it
was really profound to me because when I

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look back and I really see,
you know, a greater hand in in

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the you know, early formations of
my life and to see the grace,

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you know, to see the grace
of God working and people helping me.

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So while I had that devastating event, I also saw help that I never

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could have gotten to where I got
to without that. Without that help.

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Yeah, now that is beautiful.
It's such a beautiful story. Veronica.

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That, yes, such a devastating
event happened, and so many times,

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you know, because you were so
young at that time, the life can

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take a bitter course. And it's
almost that you know, you wanted to

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play with your father on that gulf. What a beautiful desire, and you

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said you would give up your trophies
for that, and you kept going on

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during that. So yes, you
were getting help at the same time.

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As young as you were, you
took that help and you move forward with

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it. So I'm really glad that
those angels helped you out because I can't

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even imagine. I mean, it
was such a loss and it's I'm sorry

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what you went through. And at
the same time your story is inspiring,

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So share with us. When you
went to Duke with full time? Were

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you playing for them and how did
what did that take you? Yeah?

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I played college golf for Duke and
I had an outstanding amateur career. I

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think the idea behind and this is
part of the work that I do today,

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is that it is so important to
help people who have gone through a

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loss to understand the process of grief. And so there was something that to

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me was even more devastating than the
loss of my father, was that back

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in the day, a lot of
times people didn't talk about things. And

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so when he passed, and you
know, the day after the funeral,

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like I never got a hug,
I never got and I love you,

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it was never talked about. So
I went back to school and I had

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to make one hundred percent on my
history exam. So in the moment that

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I needed nurture and love and understanding, I turned to achievement to hold to

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hold myself together. And of course
I didn't know that at the time.

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And so it's easy for an athlete
who is a star athlete to let that

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be their identity. And so Duke
was a time for me that outwardly,

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you know, I was a star
athlete, but inwardly I was carrying grief

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all through my time in college and
never had had really processed it. And

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so it was both an empowering experience
for me as I cultivated my ability to

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compete and to win and to do
all of these things. But at the

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same time, there were these other
parts of me just as a person that

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needed attention, right and Veronica,
you know, here here's my question to

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sports is so big in our country, and I sincerely believe that sports is

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something that brings everyone together. Yes, because at that point in time,

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we just forget any of our differences. And also because it is super competitive,

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it puts so much pressure on our
youngsters or it doesn't matter whatever age

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it is. So when athletes are
going through something personal like this, what

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would you tell them if they suffer
from a laws or any other devastation that

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helped happens in their lives. You
know the first thing. And I work

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with a lot of young aspiring athletes, mainly competitive junior golfers, but really,

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you know, I can do it
at all sports. And one of

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the first things that I have to
do is to tell them you are not

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your score, because so much of
identity is caught up in the outward the

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outward achievement, and so then if
you don't achieve, you crash. And

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so they are a person, they
have worth completely apart from their score.

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And that is why I always focus
on the building of the identity, the

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mindsets, the beliefs, the practices
of a champion. And so a champion

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is someone of who you are.
It's not the trophy, it's it's not

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the thing out there. And I
figured this out after many years of dealing

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with myself. Is that when you
mentioned, let's like a ponder over that

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point. You said that, you
know, after dealing several years with myself.

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So once you graduated from Duke,
tell us and we will come back

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to your story and advice for our
young athletes. What did you go through?

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And I know you've mentioned about chronic
fatigue, So tell us the events

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leading up to that. Well,
like I said, when you find your

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worth outside of yourself, then you're
driven, right you're having you're driven to

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do that, and so I was
driven to achieve. I'm still an achiever,

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but there was this driving force.
And so when I decided to pursue

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professional golf, and I this is
some years later, I was out on

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the golf tour and my immune system
crashed because instead of playing in three or

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four tournaments and taking a break,
I played intent. So here I am

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lying with my head on a pillow. M can't lift my head off a

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pillow for a couple of months.
Oh my goodness. And this is before

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they even diagnosed chronic fatigue. And
I'm landing in a town where I didn't

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know a soul. These people took
me in my golf instructor was tragically killed

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in the plane crash. Oh gosh, And so I am saying, what

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voice am I going to listen to? Mm hmm. And I realized in

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that moment that we all have three
voices that speak to us all the time.

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We have the critic, you know, that tells us why we can't

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do something and puts us down.
We have the coach, which opens up

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our mind to a new possibility.
And we have the champion voice that says

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I can, I will, I
believe. And I just kept hearing this

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still small voice that said, just
do it, just go for it.

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And I decided to listen to that
voice, the champion voice that said,

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I'm I'm going to fight. You
know, when you have an illness,

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there comes a point where you have
to fight so that illness doesn't become part

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of your identity. So that is
so true. Yeah. I decided to

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find a hill, which was kind
of hard because Tulsa's flat. I was

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in Tulsa at the time, and
I climbed that hill and I just kept

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taking one step, just one step. Within a few months, I was

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jogging and it was it was very
interesting because I can't tell this story without

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including that there was an element of
faith in it, because I felt that

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as as I was going through this
my whole life, that I've always had

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a faith thank God, and I
came to know him as father in a

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way that I wouldn't have known had
my father been alive, to know the

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love of God. And I just
felt that encouragement. I felt, I

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felt there was a force joining with
me, and I decided to just do

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what I could do, and I
went down to the US Open qualifier in

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Dallas. It was in Las Colinas, and I ended up I ended up

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shooting seventy one. It was my
first tournament in a year. I had

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a caddy whose cap. Caddy's grandmother
died and so I had to pick up

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a caddy at the caddyshack the next
day, and somehow he just knew my

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game and knew the course and knew
how to encourage me. And I ended

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up winning the US Open qualifier and
I'm off to play in the US Open.

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Well congratulations, what in transformation and
what a Johnny. But in that

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experience, I really came to know
the love of God and that I was

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a valuable person completely apart from my
score and finding identity and that and that

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whole experience really kind of set me
free to I had the game, I

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had the sport. The sport no
longer had me. Oh that's beautiful.

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I like that. What you're sharing, Veronica, is that the sport had

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no longer that grip on you.
And that's the beauty rate, because what

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happens is that when athletes are identifying
themselves like, oh, if I didn't

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win, then my work goes down. If I win, my work goes

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up. So that distancing from associating
the self worth to the score or to

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the championships is what crushes so many
athletes versus what you're sharing is that it's

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more about the like, here you
were lying in bed, could in trace

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your head to winning us Open.
How wonderful that is? Well, And

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it's interesting because when you're in that
state, that debilitated state, you don't

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know what's on the other side,
and particularly when doctors don't have a prescription

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for you, because it's not like
I broke a leg and they're going to

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put me in a cast and it's
six weeks and it's healed. They didn't

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know. And so there's a part
of that that when you get still,

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I had to get in touch with
my own thoughts, probably for one of

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the first times, and that is
part of the victory of what I call

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being your authentic self, being being
the person you were meant to be,

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apart from those outside things that that
define you. And so now when I

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train my athletes, you're not trying
to get the victory. I tell them

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you want to play from victory.
When you get up on that first tee,

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you're playing from victory, and that
performance is an expression of who you

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are. You're not trying to get
something outside of yourself, and in that

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way, you can eliminate a lot
of what I call disempowering emotions because again,

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you're playing out of the center of
who you are. And I think

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that it is a crime for parents
who so drive their kids to have to

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win as opposed to affirming and encouraging
the champion that's inside of them that needs

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nurtured. And I think that's a
missing piece today, is the nurture of

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an athlete. And you need both. You need the challenge, but you

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need the nurture to produce wholeness.
Because I used to think it was the

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pursuit of excellence that develop greatness.
But the older I get, the more

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I realize it's the pursuit of wholeness, right. And it makes sense because

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you're addressing the whole person and as
you mentioned, you want US Open championship

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and the body. And I have
to say that looking at athletes today in

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different you know, whether it's Aaron
Rodgers and football or golf championships, people

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are playing longer. And as people
are playing longer, it's also important to

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recognize that not everybody maybe pushing until
late thirties or forties in the career.

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So then as we are addressing the
whole person, they will also have a

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second career besides being an athlete.
So when you address the whole person and

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you're going with that polistic approach,
you are setting that athlete for life.

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Yeah. Yeah, And it's interesting. I want to clarifay I did not

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win the US Open. I won
the US Open qualifier and played in the

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US Open. But when I was
going through that shift of coming off of

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pursuing golf as a professional golfer on
tour, there really wasn't anybody to help

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me shift that identity into other places. But I did have some people come

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to me and say, you know, there's a new life coaching program.

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I'm at the school. We thought
you'd be really great at going through this

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program. And I was like,
nah, but they bugged me. And

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again some other angels right, some
other angels right right now. Which school

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are you talking about? This is
Regent University and they had a professional Life

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Coach program and at the time it
was offered for academics and so I ended

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up going through this program and it
was so amazing Vibia because I knew how

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to achieve, I knew how to
perform, I knew how to help others

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reach their goals. But this was
all about relating to people. This was

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the interpersonal tools of listening, asking
powerful questions, you know, helping people

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to get in touch with themselves.
This was the very relational side. And

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so as a result of going through
that program, I developed a holistic system

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to peak performance that brought together all
the achievement tools plus the relational tools.

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And it's called the Champion's Way Core
Foundations for Achieving Pete Performance in Sports and

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Life. And so I wrote a
book about it, and I have a

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twelve module video series online. And
I thought that if I could help people

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to develop wholeness as they pursued their
greatness, then they could avoid so much

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of the dysfunction and destructiveness that I
did because I didn't have this paradigm pursuing

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success. And so doctor James Lower, who was a wonderful world class trainer

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and I became a great follower of
him, taught me the what peak performances

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the components of it. And this
was the game changer for me is in

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his writings when he said that peak
performance happens from a place of being fully

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engaged. And to be fully engaged
is to be physically energized, mentally focused,

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emotionally connected, and spiritually aligned.
And so I call those the four

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champion zones physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. And when you can find

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a process in each one of those
champion zones and do them concurrently, that's

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when you take a leap. So
instead of just focusing on results oriented goals,

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which is very one dimensional. I
shot the score, I didn't shoot

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the score. I succeeded. I
failed. You focus on the processes that

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you're working on, and if you
do the process is the result will happen.

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And so it opens up the lanes
of your highway, much broader,

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and it's over a continuum of time, and it's a much healthier way to

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achieve a goal. And it also
promotes such great self awareness and such self

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mastery because you're able to look at
a performance and say, how did I

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create that result? Was it a
result of my skill set, my mindset,

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my belief set, and you're able
to take the components of a performance

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apart because you now have a system. You now have a framework of thought.

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So to be able to instill this
in a teenager and get to own

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their stuff also think about it,
right, it's the mindset, like whether

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it's goal, especially in an area
of golf and tennis, I mean any

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sports, it requires a very strong
mindset and very strong emotional coping mechanisms because

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there you are out on the field
by yourself, and yes, you have

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a caddy by your side, as
you mentioned that you had somebody who encouraged

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you throughout the way. But even
to be able to communicate with your caddy

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or with your coach, yeah,
it's important to address all those aspects.

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And being a coach myself, I
can definitely relate to what you're sharing.

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So now, as a viewers and
audience are listening, tell us about some

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tangible tips that they can take in
these four areas and implement it straight away.

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Sure, that's a great question if
you can just begin to say,

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let's just say you have a goal. Let's just say it's the end of

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the year and you want to lose
weight. Right, that's something so many

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people are looking on. You know, the first question is is on the

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physical in the physical place, like
what skills do I have to learn?

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What do I need to see if
weightlifting or walking, or what diet works,

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what food things like, just very
on the very physical level. Mentally,

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you have to ask yourself, how
can I set myself up to achieve

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this from a mindset place like the
most foundational champion mindset is champions don't quit.

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So let's just say, you know
what, regardless of whether I feel

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I've succeeded this day or not succeeded, I'm going to set a champion mindset.

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I'm not going to quit. I'm
just going to keep going. And

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then, thirdly, emotionally, what
emotions do I have to produce to be

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in a place of high performance?
Their high performance emotions you know of positivity,

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confidence, a sense of challenge enthusiasm. How can I look at this

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from an enthusiastic place. I have
a little stuffed flamingo behind me that that

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flamingo is my mental trigger to stay
in joy during the holiday season. And

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so joy is the highest emotional vibration
there is. There's no higher emotion than

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joy. So I have that mental
trigger and I actually stick him in my

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car. He's my passenger, and
so that's my place to stay in a

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positive emotional state. And then spiritual
and performance is identity, higher purpose and

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values is to have a vision of
yourself. Why is it that you want

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to lose weight? What's your Why? How are you? How can you

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see yourself like your best version of
yourself? Like for me, as I'm

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embarking upon this weight loss journey,
for me, the added weight that I'm

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carrying represents an old season, and
I, as my sixty fifth birthday comes

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around in March, I want to
be my best version of myself. And

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so I'm having this vision of myself
that's based on my future rather than what's

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behind me. And these are higher
purposes for why I'm doing what I'm doing.

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So you can go through each one
of those four things and again,

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you have to do them concurrently to
take a leap in your progress. Yeah,

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and that's very powerful. So the
one of your kind of happy birthday

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year missions. I wondered if I
shot to share, I shared my age,

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but I figured out what the heck
At this stage, it doesn't really

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matter that you look amazing, So
thank you. I can say to my

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I can say to my mom,
I'm just grateful my mom had good skin

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because she left me some good DNA
in that regard. So tell us what's

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next for you? And when people
are looking to bring your book in,

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I want to connect with you.
Can the connect Where can they get your

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book? Sure? Well, thanks
for Veronica. In the next year,

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well, thank you so much.
My website's True Champion Academy dot com and

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you can connect with me through there. I'm actually going to be doing more

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speaking engagements come this coming years.
I've done coaching, you know for so

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many years, but really love keynote
speaking or speaking to groups. So you're

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welcome to contact me. And as
I mentioned, the one book and these

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are on Amazon, The Champion's Way
Core Foundations for achieving peak performance in sports

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and life. If you're faith based
at all, this was my latest book

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I published this year called God Make
Me a Champion, an athlete's journey of

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faith into the power of surrender.
So I tell my us open story here

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and stories of other athletes of like
mindedness that I've helped. And then probably

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the best one for this season is
the one I wrote on my mom,

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I Shot of Joy, A miraculous
journey of redeeming a lost mother daughter relationship.

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And this is where I help people
through sharing of my story how to

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connect with distance or strange loved ones, and particularly during the holidays. So

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that's a fabulous book to get for
yourself or for a loved one as a

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gift, and all of those are
available on Amazon. And when my mom

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was eighty five years old, she
was given six months to live with a

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terminal heart condition, and we were
emotionally strange my whole life. We loved

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one another, but there wasn't there
wasn't the connection, and she had to

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quit school in the fifth grade to
earn a living and the depression, and

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you know, golf was sweeping before. Anyways, I taught her to play

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golf at eighty five and put this
spark. She hit an eight iron almost

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one hundred yards on her first try, and it sparked this perfect friendship on

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the golf course. She lived almost
seven more years. At eighty eight,

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I helped her start a house cleaning
business. She had her first paid modeling

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shoot. At eighty nine, she
started public speaking. At ninety I told

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her it was time for her first
golf tournament. So I organized the first

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Grandma Open and brought together the generations. And at ninety one, that woman

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died my best friend. And so
that is I love that story. That

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is amazing, Veronica. It's a
beautiful no worry. Yeah, and it's

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almost like, you know, she
had really golden years starting at eighty six,

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and that tells us that ages no
barrier you can start than ever.

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You know what I learned for back
in life? You know what I learned.

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I learned that there's an inherent energy
in the use of gifts and talents.

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And I was first just trying to
help her to die well, and

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then it was like, no,
help her to live well, and we

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went about the business of creating life
and the creating of life, and helping

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her to use her and explore her
gifts and talents extended her life. And

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I always say to people, there's
more and you for longevity. If you

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think of those four champion zones.
In the physical movement, you have to

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keep moving your body. The second
is curiosity to stay open towards the wonder

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of life and learning. In the
emotional zone, connection, you know,

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is to have those vital relationships.
And in the spiritual zone meaning you know,

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you have to have meaning. And
if you have those four processes going

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on in your life, you will
have a fullness of life. And that's

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what we went about doing. And
you know, our relationship was so redeemed

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and I got to see the champion
and my mother come out before she passed.

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And I always tell people the best
if you can leave somebody is not

403
00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:42.360
your money, not your things,
but the knowledge of who you really are.

404
00:37:42.519 --> 00:37:47.800
And my mother gave me that gift. Oh that's beautiful. Well,

405
00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:52.719
thank you for sharing that story and
thank you for joining us. Would you

406
00:37:52.920 --> 00:37:55.760
like to share anything before we wrap
of the show. Yeah, I just

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want to say, you know,
I believe there's a champion in everybody.

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You know, I believe there's a
champion in you, and I want to

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encourage you this coming year to step
up, rise up fully, re engage.

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You know, maybe during COVID you
disengaged from life, from people,

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from pursuit, and I want to
encourage you to make twenty twenty four the

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year of the Champion in your life, because if Milder can do it,

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if I can do it, you
can do it. Absolutely what a beautiful

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way to end. So as we
are closing out twenty twenty three, remember

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there's a champion within you and you
make you make what you make of your

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life. So that that a goal
from now that twenty twenty four is going

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00:38:57.280 --> 00:39:02.440
to be the year of the Champions, just having those external goals, but

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bringing that holistic thing. So thank
you Veronica, and thank you audience for

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00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:12.679
joining us, because without you,
the show would not be possible. Keep

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00:39:12.679 --> 00:39:19.000
on sending your stories about your kindness
and also let us know how we can

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00:39:19.079 --> 00:39:22.360
support you and how we can serve
you to live the life you deserve and

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00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:30.159
become more of yourself and bring that
joy back in your life. So be

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well and take care and thank you
on for making the show technically possible.

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So until next time, take care, Thank you, thank you for being

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00:39:40.599 --> 00:39:45.000
part of Beyond Confidence with your host
d V Park, we hope you have

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00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:47.599
learned more about how to start living
the life you want. Each week on

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00:39:47.679 --> 00:39:52.280
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of
real people who've experienced growth by overcoming their

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00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:59.000
fears and building meaningful relationships. During
Beyond Confidence, Divapark shares what happened to

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00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:01.920
her when she stepped out of her
comfort zone to work directly with people across

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00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:06.800
the globe. She not only coaches
people how to form HERD connections, but

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00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:12.239
also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships
as they strive to live the life they

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00:40:12.280 --> 00:40:15.679
want. If you are ready to
live the life you want and leverage your

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00:40:15.719 --> 00:40:21.880
strengths, learn more at www dotwpark
dot com and you can connect with vat

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00:40:22.199 --> 00:40:25.960
contact at dvpark dot com. We
look forward to you joining us next week.